Observances of a Nargle: A love story
'Mistletoe,' said Cho quietly, pointing at the ceiling over his head.
'Yeah,' said Harry. His mouth was very dry. 'It's probably full of Nargles, though.'
'What are Nargles?'
'No idea,' said Harry. -Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
"What are Nargles?" indeed. Nargles live in mistletoe, as you have been informed, if you would bother to listen. And you know what? We have some pretty interesting traits. Most people don't know we exist. We like it that way. We just go about our business without being bothered most of the time. You humans' Christmas time can be a bit annoying, that's when our homes get moved around for you to kiss under, but I don't really mind.
One thing no one, not even those who know we exist, is aware of, is the fact that we can predict the future. A bit, anyway. No, I don't know what they will serve for lunch tomorrow, go ask a house elf. Aha! Will that cute Hufflepuff you sit next to ask you out? Well, I can't tell you that now, but you're getting warmer. Lure that kid under my mistletoe and then we'll talk. See, when people kiss under my mistletoe, I can tell what their future is together, even if the kiss is just a friendly peck on the cheek. I've seen more couples destined for failure that anyone should. But it balances out in the end, when I get the satisfaction of seeing soul mates find each other. Here let me prove it to you.
I've been around Hogwarts for years, and seen quite a few couples. For example, you know Minerva McGonagall? Well, when she was a fifth year, she got stuck under me with a guy named Tom Riddle. Oh, you know him? She kissed him on the cheek and went about her way. Poor Tom had a crush on her, but if he'd bothered to ask me, I would have told him that her heart belonged to another, though that wouldn't last either, poor girl.
Bellatrix Lestrange was a crazy one. She married, but it wasn't for love. It was for family ties. She had a picture of Tom Riddle that she carried around though. She actually kissed it under my mistletoe once when she thought no one was looking. What a nutter! As if that could ever happen.
Ted Tonks was a pretty cool guy. Married into a crazy family though. But that's what true love is, that he was willing to be related to those psycho Blacks. I liked him, and I was glad to see he would be happy.
Arthur Weasley was such a nice boy. He always had a fascination with Muggles. Most people thought this obsession was weird, but Molly thought it was cute. She actually kissed him the first time under the mistletoe because he was trying to tell her about some Muggle invention that she didn't care about and the only way to make him stop was to kiss him. I knew at once that they would end up married, though I had no idea they would have so many kids!
Then there was Lily and James. The first time they kissed under me, my mistletoe was enchanted by James's obnoxious friend, Sirius. Lily smacked both boys after James kissed her, but I knew I would see them here again, next time under Lily's free will.
Sirius Black kissed so many girls I lost count, and all of them I knew would end up with someone else. The only girl he ever loved died while he was in Azkaban. Poor guy.
Remus Lupin never dated. Shocker, huh? He was too worried about his so called "furry little problem" to get involved with girls. Chivalrous of him, but I feel sorry for him. I was glad when I saw him steal a kiss with his wife in the hidden corner where I lurked away from my mistletoe, which had burned, before the final battle that took his life.
I knew Peter Pettigrew was bad news before anyone else. I saw the way he looked at girls, and there was no respect. I never actually saw the creep under the mistletoe, thank Merlin.
Poor Snape. He got one kiss from Lily. It was their second year. She was so happy about her potions mark that she kissed him before she quite realized what she was doing. That was when he realized her was in love with her. He never got another kiss from her.
Frank Longbottom was one of the shyest boys I've ever seen. Alice was the one who cornered him coming out of Herbology. One of his most Gryffindor moments was when she asked if he would ever get up the nerve to ask her out, and instead of replying he just kissed her. Actually, I was quite glad to see the Herbology professor come out, as their kissing was beginning to make me sick, and I've seen a lot of kissing.
Xeno Lovegood. He knew I was here. Of course, he didn't know what I know. He met his future wife when he was a seventh year. She was only a third year. They were another victim of enchanted mistletoe. He didn't think of her again until she was out of Hogwarts. They were perfect for each other though. She believed his tales. Not just humoring him, she believed him.
Charlie Weasley and Tonks dated for a while, but ended up friends. I was glad to see that they separated on good terms. They kissed a few times when they were dating, so I knew it wouldn't go anywhere. They mutually decided that they were better off as friends, and there was no heartbreak.
Bill Weasley was rather confusing for me. Whenever he showed up with his girl in Hogwarts, I knew they wouldn't last, but I couldn't see who he would find. Fleur Delacour was the same, though I only saw her once. I wouldn't have expected them to be together, but I'm glad they are.
I saw quite a bit of Ginny Weasley. Every time I knew it wouldn't last, until as last she got Harry Potter under the mistletoe. They had their ups and downs, but I knew they'd last, unlike Harry and Cho Chang, who I've heard eventually married a guy from Durmstrang.
Ron and Lavender spent quite a lot of time under the mistletoe. Their relationship seemed to be built solely on kissing, and I don't think anyone was surprised that they broke up. Ron and Hermione on the other hand, their first kiss was in their third year, Ron's brothers had enchanted all the mistletoe in the castle, and so they got stuck. They had a very awkward kiss, and tried very hard to forget it had happened, out of embarrassment. Of course, when they came back after that dreadful war, I almost got tired of seeing them.
Draco Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass. I was the only one who saw that coming. They were victims of enchanted mistletoe too. I was glad to see that future. Draco kissed so many girls I was beginning to wonder if he would ever find his soul mate.
Those goofy Weasley twins were once dared to kiss each other. As far as most people know, they did, even going beyond the dare and grossing everyone out. I know the secret though. Fred had his hand over George's mouth. That was also when I saw that they would be separated within two years.
Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle: too stupid to get a date. They kissed each other once though, thanks to a Weasley Special enchanted mistletoe. It targeted certain people. Some could walk under it all they liked and not get stuck, others, not so much. That was all awkward couples caught under that one.
Luna Lovegood: the only person in her generation who knew I existed. She and Neville Longbottom would have been a wonderful couple. Unfortunately circumstances were not in their favor. Both had arranged marriages. They were happy enough and learned to love their spouses, but I still think, even though I knew it wouldn't happen, that they should have been married.
Teddy Lupin and Victoire Weasley started dating after Teddy left Hogwarts. Of course, that doesn't mean much to Teddy. He comes back whenever he pleases. Usually this is done using his metamorphmagus abilities. Of course, I can see right through that. I also see that these two will break up then get back together multiple times until Victoire graduates, at which point Teddy will ask her to marry him, and of course she will say yes.
James Sirius Potter has kissed quite a few girls, but he does have a bright future ahead of him, he just hasn't realized it yet. After all, the Longbottoms are practically family, why would he want to kiss family? It was a peck on the cheek in third year that sealed his fate with little Alicia.
It took Scorpius three and a half years to notice that his best friend was pretty. Another year and a half to realize he didn't want to be just friends. It was his final Christmas when he got the guts to kiss her, and he was so surprised when Rose kissed him back that he almost fell over. Those two will have a lot of ups and downs with their last names, but Ron will just have to get used to being related to a Malfoy.
Despite the fact that the war is over, family names still mean a lot. So you wouldn't expect to see a Malfoy and a Potter kissing, and yet there they are. Albus Potter and Mira Malfoy: one of Hogwarts' more unique couples. They fight and kiss, fight and kiss, fight and kiss. It must be the Potter/Malfoy genes. They'll probably be fighting then kissing until the day they die.
Lorcan Scamander knows I'm here. And not in the way his mum did either. Lorcan and Lysander are more open-minded than most, but unlike their mother, they won't settle for simply believing, they have to prove it. Neither knows what I'm capable of, but they actually managed to find proof of my existence. And there's Lorcan now, pointing up and telling Lily Potter about me. Well, what an interesting reply, "Just shut up and kiss me. You can talk later." I do believe those two will last. And perhaps Lorcan will finally learn to stop talking.
And then of course there's Lysander. The nerdier and shyer of the two. He has yet to find a girl. But I know a secret: there's a Hufflepuff girl who sits three rows behind him in Herbology and is trying to find the courage to ask him to tell her about the creature he's currently trying to prove exists. I can't say for sure, but I think they would make a very cute couple.
Hugo Weasley is a bookworm. That's the only reason Andrea Creevey, daughter of Dennis Creevey, and Slytherin known for never bothering to read, has taken to spending hours at a time lurking in the library. The jury is still out on them. Personally, I think they'll date a bit and then move on.
Well, do you believe me now? Nargles can predict which couples will stay together. What's that? Predict your future? I suppose I can do that. Go find someone to kiss. I'll wait right here.
Author note: Some pairings are cannon and some aren't. If you don't like them I'm sorry. If you don't recognize a character that's probably because I made them up. I needed more next generation pairings. I tried to do the majority of the characters, if I missed someone I apologize. Feel free to tell me about it.