I freaking love LSP. I originally didn't plan on posting this but my sister thought it was funny and forced me to post it. So, This fanfic is dedicated to my sister, Jana.

Disclaimer: I don't own adventure time, which makes me sad. Really sad. :-( :-( :-(

Here is the story:

Like, we all know everyone is in like love with me and my lumps. Like, Peppermint Butler, Cinnamon Bun, Candy Cane Man, and Brad are like all over me and my lumps. I don't see, like, how they can like stand being away from all this gorgeous fabulousness. My lumps are 'the lumps'. No one can shake these lumps better than me. But even though I can make, like, every boy, like, fall in love with me. I can never seem to get that hot piece of lump, Finn the Human, he's, like, so lumping hot. Nothing can compare to that hot piece of lump, like, nothing. Not even Brad. Oh, yes, I said it.

"What the junk? Melissa! Finn's totally gonna be my lumping boyfriend."

"You really think so LSP." Melissa said through her cell-phone. "don't you think his to smooth for you?"

"OH MY GLOB MELISSA!" I was like so lumpin shocked at Melissa, I can't believe she just said that! Melissa like my best-friend in the world, even though she's fat, But I don't tell that junk to her face. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT! LIKE, WHAT THE LUMPS?! OH MY GLOB, MELISSA, I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW. I GOTTA GO." I hung up my new, state if the art, phone. Yeah, I know you're all jellin'. Anyway, Me, Finn, and Jake were in the forest, like, looking for something or whatever.

"Hey LSP, look what I found." Oh my glob, here comes Finn. He's so lumping sexy! I fluff my lumps one final time. "Oh, what is it Finn?" I said trying to be curious at his stuff. Like OH MY GLOB, his totally gonna fall in love with me.

"It's a rock." What the lumps? What's so interesting about a rock? Anyway, it really doesn't matter.

"Wow, Finn, you're like super good at finding rocks."Flattering is the best lumpin' way to get your man. He's already lumping falling for me, I feel it.

"Huh, Thanks, but it's not the rock, LSP." he showed my the rock. "It's the shape."

"What about the shape?" OH MY LUMPS! already? My lumps are truly, extremely magical. But, hey, I have a lumping awesome personality too. "It's a heart."

"Yeah, do you think Flame Princess would like it?" FLAME PRINCESS?! That fire stick?! Who does she think she is, stealing my man-hunk, Finn? MY FINN! I'm burning up. OH MY GLOB. I need to, like, lumpin calm down.

"Yeah bro! He's totally gonna love it!" Jake said looking up to see the rock. I gotta do something about this. This lumping can't be happening!

"Well, Finn if you want my advice, that rock would be a lumping suckish gift." Finn's face like totally became a sad face. Aw, love lumping hurts, baby. I'm lumping sorry.

"Oh, then what would be a great gift, Jake?" I can't believe his not talking to me. What the lumps? "I dunno bro, I still think that rock is pretty cool." Stupid Jake with his stupid suggestions.

"Shut the lump up, Jake. You don't know anything about the complex female mind, like me."

"I know how the complex female mind works! How do you think I got Lady Rainicorn to be my girlfriend? Right, dude?" whoaaaa, why is Jake being all defensive? I'm, like, just telling him the truth. Whatever.

"I dunno, man. LSP is female. Sorta." Finn is like totally taking my side. He really lumping likes me, he just doesn't know it yet. He's gonna buy me a ring so lumping big, it won't even fit my thumb! Liking someone a lot is really, like, really, really, complicated. Which reminds me, I gotta, like, lumping put this on my blog.

"Yeah, Jake! Come on Finn, let's go find you a better gift." I, like, just grabbed him already, 'cause mr. Suggest-a-lot might follow us.

"Hey, Jake! Aren't you coming?" Finn screamed towards Jake.

"Nah man. I'm meeting up with Lady later. See yah." Finally, I can like not run anymore. My lumps are, like, totally wasted from all the lumping running.

"So, LSP, what do you have in mind?" He said, facing me, I can, like, totally see his eyes.

"What?" I, like, managed to say.

"You know, a gift for Flame Princess, it totally needs to be math." Flame Princess again?! Doesn't Finn shut up about this girl. Sheeeesh.

"Psh, whatever. I know! Let's go to the ca-arneeeehhhvaaa-al!" I waved my hands to show I'm excited.

"I dunno, LSP. I-" I grabbed him and run.

"Come on, let's goooo!" like, great, all I need to do is show off my fabulous lumps and my lumpin awesome personality.

"So, I was like, 'No way Melissa!', and Melissa was all like, "Yes way, LSP." and I could tell that she was like so jealous of me."

"Wow, LSP. That was really math. You and Brad are perfect for each other."

What the junk? He's been saying that all day! But, whatever.

"Nuh-uh, Brad is in the past. Now were in the present, and you Finn are my Future." Oh-oh I got him now.

"Wow, LSP. Uhmmmm, That's uhhhmm...aaa cool of you to say, I uhh guess."

"I know Finn I like you too- wait, WHAT?!" How can this be happening?! I'm totally lumping irresistible!

"I said, you're cool." Finn is like, turning red. He looks real nervous. OH MY LUMPS! I get it now. He's like totally in denial because of Flame Princess. I know what to do to solve that. So I like lean in to him for a hot passionate make out seesh.

"Whoa, LSP, what- what-, listen, I- I don't like you that way." He was turning as red as Tomato Princess. "What... What... What the lumps? Have you gone banaenae? I mean have you lumping seen my lumps? I'm like gorgeous!" Then I slapped Finn on the face. I had no choice, he was being, like, mean.

"Ouch." He said touching his gorgeous human face.

"Listen LSP, it's not about the way you look. It's what's inside that counts."

"OH MY GLOB, FINN! ARE YOU SAYING I'M A BAD PERSON?!" I'm crying now, how could Finn be so mean?! I'm gonna run away dramatically now.

"Wait LSP! I didn't mean it like that." he was running after me, he really does like me a lot. OH MY GOB, I gotta tell Melissa, she's like so gonna be jealous. I grab my phone to tell Melissa.

"OH MY GLOB MELISSA! FINN IS LIKE TOTALLY INLOVE WITH ME!"

"really? Oh my glob, girl. Your lumps are so lumpin' hot."

"I know right? He's like chasing after me, LITERALLY. He's right behind me, Running!" I look back so I can see my gorgeous man-hunk, Finn, running after me. I can't see Him anymore.

"Wait, Melissa, I can't see him anymore. I'll call you back later." I hung up my phone and, like, look for Finn. I must've ran a little too fast. I'm tired. Like, I'll try again, tomorrow. Besides, the secret portal is already here.

Thank you for reading! Please Review :)