I'm a huge crybaby, but at least I can admit it. Everyone always rips on me for it, and I end up crying and proving their point. The only person who doesn't treat me like a baby is Token Black. I've had a huge crush on Token forever and its ridicules and stupid, Tokens a football player and I'm the lame photography nerd! He's been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and I know if I ever told him he would hate me. He's so fucking perfect I hate it! He's rich, funny, gorgeous, talented, popular… everything I'm not. I've always wanted to be popular ever since I was little but I don't fit in at all.
When my mom died Tokens family took me in, because my dad was abusing me, I think that's why I'm such a crybaby honestly, and all my other family members lived across the country so I now lived with the Blacks. They treated me like family and I loved them, but I felt like a burden on everyone.
Tokens parents were out of town for the week on a business trip so Token and I had house to ourselves. I was excited, until he told me he was throwing a party.
"Wh-What!? Your parents will kill us!"
"Not if they don't know." He answered with that smile that nobody could say no to.
I sighed. There was no way I could stop him anyways. "What's it for?" I asked softly, leaning my head in his shoulder.
"For fun. Maybe you can finally lose your virginity." He said with a small chuckle.
I blushed and frowned, pushing him lightly. I hated when he joked like that, considering for one, I'm actually gay, and two, I'm kind of in love with him. He sighed and pet my hair before posting about the party on some social media site.
"I'll probably go to Tweek's during the party…" I said softly. I really wasn't much of a social butterfly.
"That's not an option. Craig's dragging Tweek here to. So your staying here with me."
"That's different. There dating." I said, not realizing how sad my voice sounded.
"And I'm also not throwing a party without my best friend being there." He said giving me a big smile.
I blushed slightly and he laughed. I hated the effect this boy had on me!
We sat there in silence for a few moments until I asked "..Is there gonna be drugs?" He burst out laughing and said "Probably!"
I smiled widely. His laugh was contagious. He hugged me suddenly, surprising me.
"You're the best friend I could ever ask for. You know that right?" I blushed and hid my face in his chest.
"Well everyone else seems to disagree." I said sadly.
He looked me straight in the eyes and said "Fuck everybody else. They don't know you like I do, and you know nobody's gonna fuck with you when I'm around." I nodded, knowing he hated when I listened to the bullies. He was like my guardian angel.
"Please tell me you'll stay?" he said with a puppy dog face. I sighed.
"What time does it start?" His smile came back.
"Yes! 8:00! Let me dress you!" That brought my blush back in full force. He burst into laughter again and went into my closet. He came back out with a pair of my black skinny jeans, and then he went into his room before coming back with one of s Hollister sweatshirts.
"Dude. Gay." I said before taking them.
"Shut up. I'm only bi." I smiled at that. He came out last year and ever since I've admired him for it. I would never be able to do that, but he straight up made a video and posted it on Facebook! Anyways, I put on the clothes, and his sweatshirt was way to big for me!
"Don't worry. You look cute." I blush a lot, but only when I'm around him. He smiled and went to his own room to get dressed. When he came back he was dressed in a similar outfit to mine, only his jeans were name brand. He went downstairs and started up the stereo before going to get snacks and drinks out. I sighed and helped him out.
Craig and Tweek showed up early, around six, to help out with preparations. As soon as they arrived Tweek pulled me aside and asked me "Please tell me Token confessed his love for you and that's why you're wearing his jacket!" Tweek was the only person I've ever told about my crush on Token, and that's seriously made me blush.
"N-No!" He smiled and laughed.
"Just checking. It'll happen eventually, as long as you two stop playing games." Tweek always tries to fuck with my mind. Its fucking stupid. I've always been envious of the fact Tweek got to be happy with his best friend.
When the party finally started people started pouring into the mansion, and I swear I was having a panic attack. Everything looked fuzzy and I felt nauseous. Token calmed me down by stroking my hair and holding me close. People were used to these types of exchanges between Token and I considering he always did this at school when I got nervous.
When I was relaxed Token went off with a couple of the other football players. Craig was literally right next to me, Tweek in his lap, and they were making out. I felt really jealous all of a sudden, then I felt nauseous again. I quickly got up and went to find Token, but when I couldn't find him I ran upstairs and into my room. I know I told him I'd join the party, but this was to much. I sat in the corner of my room and hid my face in my knees before I started to cry. See? Crybaby. I felt weak and I wanted Token, so where the fuck was he?
A few minutes, about 15, went by when I felt calm enough to get up. I went back downstairs to see a bunch of people on the couch passing around a bong, Token, Craig and Tweek included.
Token noticed me and smiled. "Hey! Get over here!" I walked over to him slowly, feeling like an outcast and suddenly really nervous since everyone was watching me. Before I could sit next to Token, he pulled me into his lap. I blushed. Tweek smirked at me and I glared at him, then Token handed me the bong.
"Wh-Wha-?!" I stammered nervously.
"Its okay! Just take one hit, I promise you'll be okay and you'll feel so much better."
I shook my head and tried give it back when Tweek spoke up "My first time was through a shotgun, so maybe you should give him one Token." Token smiled after he that.
"Shotgun?" I asked confused.
"Its basically where someone hits the bong then they transfer the smoke into the other persons mouth, where that person will inhale it." Craig said with a smirk.
I blushed like crazy, and that's when I noticed Token was in the middle of hitting the bong.
It all went by in slow motion. Token handing the bong back to Craig, then lifting his right hand to cup my cheek. His thumb gently playing with my bottom lip, then he leaned in. His lips made contact with mine, both partially opened. He exhaled the smoke into my mouth where I gasped softly before inhaling it. I exhaled it easily, pulling away from him, covering my mouth with my hands.
Token Black just kissed me. Oh my god. A tear fell down my face as I came to that realization. He looked confused as he lifted his hand up to wipe away my tears. Everything felt foggy now. I had no idea what I was doing, but suddenly I felt really brave. I grabbed bong from Craig's hands and took a big hit, before falling into a coughing fit. I had never smoked before, and I never expected it to make me feel so light and invincible.
"Hey, slow down…" Token said softly, clearly worried. I sighed softly as another tear rolled down my face. Token took it back and handed to another one of football players, Jason I think, before holding my face in his hands and looking me in the eye. "Don't push yourself. What's going on? Why are you crying?"
I giggled and did the stupidest thing I had EVER done. I wrapped my arms around Tokens neck and placed my lips against his. He froze slightly before wrapping his arms around my waist. His mouth opened and closed around mine perfectly, and I sighed in contentment, loving every second of it. This was insane. I'm fucking insane. I pulled away and looked at his face. His eyes were bloodshot and glazed over with lust and want. His face flushed, and his lips slightly bruised. He looked sexy as fuck. I fell into a giggle fit and leaned against his chest.
"About fucking time." I heard Craig say loudly. I laughed really fucking hard at that, which caused Token to laugh as well.
Token looked really lustful, which was rare for him. He stood up and picked me up, so I wrapped my legs around his waist and let him carry me. Tweek's face was priceless. He looked so shocked it was hilarious. Token carried me up the stairs and into his room. Weird fact, he never really let me or anybody into his room, so I was confused and surprised when he plopped me down onto his bed. His bed was really comfortable and huge. The straddled me and placed his lips against mine for the third time that night.
I moaned softly and gripped onto his shirt. I think it was at that moment that I realized what was going on. I felt fear and excitement wash over me in an instant. His knee gently rubbed against my crotch and I gasped sharply. He chuckled and bit my earlobe gently.
"T-Token…" he moaned softly when he heard me call his name. He moved his own shirt, revealing his 6 pack. I couldn't but run my hands up his abs in awe. Just when I think he can't get anymore perfect he proves me wrong. He smiles and removes my shirt, but I cover my body with the blanket. I'm extremely insecure. I know for a fact I'm chubby. He removes the blanket with little effort, since he's a lot stronger than I am, and kisses my stomach. I giggle, since it tickles, and he starts to unbutton my jeans. Oh god I'm about to lose my virginity. So many thoughts raced through my head and he removed my jeans, then his own.
Now we were both in our boxers, making out on his bed. His hand found its way into my boxers where he started to stroke it lazily. I moaned and whimpered slightly. I hated the teasing. He smiled and removed my boxers. I was completely bare now, and I was so beyond embarrassed. He could clearly tell, since he leaned into my ear and whispered "Relax. You're beautiful." I felt tears well up in my eyes, but he kissed them away. He removed his own boxers and kissed my forehead before lifting my legs up.
"You're okay with this?" he asked softly. I smiled and nodded. I knew this was gonna hurt like hell, but I wanted it to be him. He entered me gently and I inhaled sharply at the pain. He mumbled an apology and entered moved in and out at very slow pace. It took a while for me to relax and get used to it, but when I finally did it was incredible. He came inside me and I actually got to sleep in his bed. We should throw more parties.