He heard him before he saw him. Hell, the only fucking people that didn't fucking hear him were the deaf people and even they could probably hear Alfred F. Jones. The quarterback of the school wasn't just your average stupid, 'can't get shit done because I have no brain', douchbag that thought the whole school worshiped him because he could throw a damn ball around, oh no…he was so much more than that. He was Lovino's personal hell.
The boy had been torturing the Italian almost every day since seventh grade…which was two years ago. Lovino that that maybe going into high school would actually make a difference. Maybe get the bastard off his tail…he was so fucking wrong.
So fucking wrong.
At the moment though, he was safe. The idiot was on the other side of the lunch room with the other stupid football members. That's where he liked him. Far, far away from him. Lovino watched as his twin brother, Feliciano, came in behind them with his potato girlfriend, Luise. They, of course, sat at the table next to him with all his other friends while Lovino sat alone at a table meant for eight.
Even his own twin didn't want to sit next to him. No wonder the other kids teased him. He was a grade-A fuckup and they all knew it.
Across the room, Antonio, Lovino's long-time crush, smirked at the boy. "Hey, Al…your little bitch friend is actually here this time." Alfred looked over and smirked too. "Good. Haven't seen the fag much since he started eating in the art room. Let's go say hi boys."
The quarterback led the rest of his table over to the small Italian. This included a very nervous Ivan Braginski, the schools linebacker. For years he had been watching Lovino get abused by his 'friends'. Gilbert was the first one to reach the table and took a seat next to the boy. "Well, well... Look at who we got here. Little faggot Lovino. I haven't seen you in forever! Have you missed the awesome me?" He smirked as Alfred took the seat on the other side.
"Yeah buddy! It's been too long." All the other football players sat around the table and glared menacingly at Lovino. All except for Ivan of course. He never helped. He just... Watched. Sure he had beating up some of the other kids. Arthur Kirkland was always fun to push around. It was... He just couldn't hit Lovino. No matter how many of the others did it, he couldn't.
Why? He had been trying to figure that out for years. Maybe it was because he never begged them to stop like the others... Maybe it was the way he simply scowled at the name calling... Maybe it was how sad his big brown eyes looked while they beat him. Alfred grabbed Lovino's milk and smirked. "Mmm. Milk." He drank it before spitting it onto the man's lap. "Ewww. I don't want catch your gay. I wouldn't want to end up being a freak like you."
Lovino jumped up as the mostly cold liquid landed all over his crotch. "B-Bastard!" Gilbert's hand shot out and he grabbed the others shoulder before he could run and escape.
"And where do you think you're going?" Lovino glared at him, trying to hide his dread. "G-Get your hand off me!"
Antonio grimaced. "You probably should, Gil. I'd hate for you to catch anything. Besides…he might try to kiss you like he did to me."
Lovino froze and his bottom lip trembled. Antonio's words always hurt him the most. The other boy was just so fucking beautiful that it made Lovino's heart break every time he verbalized his disgust for him. "I didn't try to kiss you…" he murmured.
"Speak up, gay boy. We can't hear you!"
"I didn't try to fucking kiss you!"
By now almost all the tables were staring at him. Feliciano had gone pale, not sure what he should do. This was such a normal occurrence that it didn't really matter if he was with his twin or not. They used to back off when he went up to Lovino, but now…they just didn't care. Lovino's face turned even redder and he tried to shove off Gilbert's hand, but the bastard was too strong. "Oh?" Alfred smirked. "What were you doing then, with your face so close to our dear Toni's?" Lovino bit his lip and scowled at them, but his bottom lip still trembled and his eyes were beginning to water. "You fucking tripped me! Gravity pulled me down into him because the dumb bastard was right in my fucking way!"
"Oh but you know how much you loved it." Alfred chuckled, now noticing the audience. "Just face it, you want to suck Antonio's dick. You want him to fuck you in the ass."
"Eh, Al, please don't imagine me in that position." "Sorry, dude, but it's true." Lovino was now shrinking into himself. Embarrassment and self-loathing working their way through his body.
Ivan stared at the table, wishing he were somewhere else. He hated what they did to him. It wasn't funny to mock someone about being gay. Of course it was wrong and immoral to be like that... You just shouldn't make fun of him for it. Gilbert laughed obnoxiously loud as he looked at their 'audience'. "Look at this, Lovino. You got all these people here... Just waiting for you to get the Shit kicked out of you. Kesesesese~ I'd hate to disappoint your fans." He stood up and held Lovino's wrist tighter. "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."
He punched him in the gut and watched the man double over in pain. "Oh. I lied. That felt awesome." Alfred stood up and smirked down at Lovino. "Look at you! You're pathetic. Not even your own twin brother will save you." He grabbed the Italian by the hair and forced him to look at a horrified Feliciano. "Say hello to your faggot brother Feli! You gonna help him?" The small boy made no attempt to move which caused Gilbert and Alfred to both laugh hysterically. "See! Not even your own brother wants you around! You're fucking worthless! A worthless little fag!" He dragged the boy by his hair and shoved him in Antonio's face. "You wanna touch him, don't you? You want him to hold you and tell you how pretty you are. Tell you it's all going to be alright... Then you want the big Spanish cock-"
"Al! Amigo! I'm going to throw up! Knock it off!" He grabbed the burger off Lovino's tray and whipped it at Alfred, who used Lovino as a human shield. It hit the Italian square in the face which made every player at the table burst into laughter... Expect for Ivan.
Lovino's eyes were blurry with tears. He shut them and the first few began to slide down his cheeks as the lunch room burst into chaos as the comments flew at him.
Fag.
Gay.
Homo.
Queer.
Cock sucker.
Alfred and Gilbert were laughing so hard their grips loosened and he pulled his arms away. He didn't bother wiping his face or looking around at the other students. Sure, some of them weren't assholes like these people. Sure, some of them actually felt sorry for him, but none of them did anything. They let him get picked on and beat up for fun because he liked guys. Alfred was right. He was a worthless fag.
After the first year, even Feliciano stopped caring. His own fucking twin! His own flesh and blood gave up on him. Lovino didn't wipe the tears. He was already humiliated beyond belief and besides…everyone already knew what he was. So what if he cried in front of everyone? It didn't matter. He grabbed his bag and quickly exited the room before running for the art room he seeked asylum in. Feliciano bit his lip and stood up. "Lovino! Wait!" He didn't though. He ran from the room.
That had been worse than usual…probably because Lovino ate in the free art room during lunch anymore because of them. Luise stood up and went to grab his hand, but Feli shook his head and went after his twin. Luise sighed. She hated it too. It was her fault anyway. She had been in Feliciano's room and heard Lovino in the next room, moaning out Antonio's name in his sleep. She had then asked Feliciano about Lovino's sexual orientation…and hadn't realized Gilbert was in hearing distance as Feli proceeded to tell her that Lovino was gay and had a huge crush on Antonio. The German approached her brother and smacked his arm. "I thought I told you to stop. You know it hurts Feliciano's feelings when you do that to Lovino." Her own blush proving that even she thought it was weird that Lovino liked guys.
Gilbert chuckled and leaned against the table. "Relax, sis. It's funny! Besides, it's not my fault he likes to suck cock." She slapped him again and rolled her eyes as he pouted. "Not awesome, West. So not awesome." Ivan sighed and stood up, turning to walk away before an annoying American voice called out for him. "Yo, Ivan! Where you going, man?" The Russian sighed and shook his head.
"To the bathroom. I'll be back." He pulled his letterman's jacket tighter over his shoulders before leaving. "You better not be trying to conspire against me you Damn commie!" Ivan didn't hear him. He ran to the bathroom and stared at his reflection. He was disgusted with himself. How could he let them treat him like that? Why did he care?! Just last week he had Alfred and Gilbert pin down Kiku while he beat the Shit out of him. Why didn't that bother him? Why was it Lovino? The gay kid that always had a scowl on his cute lips- No! Not cute! Boys aren't cute! Girls and puppies are cute... Not boys. "Get a hold of yourself, Ivan... Just. Snap. Out of it!" He slammed his fist against the mirror in frustration. He couldn't think like that. It was wrong.
Lovino shut the door to the art room and threw his bag across the room, flipping a chair as he went to the sink. With trembling hands, he turned on the faucet and watched the water fall. Why? Why did he have to be gay? Why did the whole school have to know? "Lovi?" He rolled his eyes. "Fuck off, Feli."
The other pouted and came in all the way, silently shutting the door behind him. "Why were you eating in there, ve? I thought you ate in here now." Lovino scowled. "I did, but someone told the principal or some shit because I got in trouble." He grabbed a paper towel and roughly shoved it under the water before scrubbing at his face to get the ketchup and tears off. Feliciano sniffled and walked over to his twin, gently taking the wet paper towel from him and putting it back into the water to get wetter.
"I'm sorry…" he pulled it out of the flow and started cleaning off Lovino's face. "I should have said something. Ve…Luise has asked them to stop but…at least it got better for a while-" Lovino glowered and shoved him back.
"Don't you fucking get it? This will never get better, Feliciano! Never! They've always done this to me! I'm a freak! A stupid bastard that hates the world! You stopped giving a shit about me after the first year, of course, that was before they realized I was a fucking homo!" Feli's bottom lip trembled and tears started to form in his eyes. "Fratello, I-"
"That's right though, isn't it? Who exactly was it that told Gilbert fucking Beilschmidt that I wanted Antonio's cock? Huh?!"
"I-I d-didn't kn-know he was t-there, Lovi! L-Luise want-wanted to know and I-"
"One potato, two potato it doesn't fucking matter! You told that bitch and he heard! That's when you stopped caring so do yourself a favor and just leave me the fuck alone! Stop associating yourself with me; don't talk to me, fuck! Don't even look at me!"
"L-Lovi-"
"GET THE FUCK OUT, FELICIANO! GET OUT!" the small Italian trembled and ran from the room in tears while Lovino slammed the door shut behind him. He roughly scrubbed his face clean before grabbing the exacto knife from his drawer and going into the back room.
Ivan stared at his math test that had a big red 'F' written across the top. He groaned and let his head fall to his desk, ignoring the pain that followed. How did this happen? He was a straight A, high B at worst, student. Actually he knew why... Lovino. He couldn't stop thinking about him. Ever since that day last Friday in the cafeteria... The Italian was constantly on his mind. He hadn't shown up for lunch at all in the last week and he heard through the grape vine he also wasn't in class.
That was completely understandable though. They had humiliated him, in front of everyone. He had thought about reviling Alfred's dirty little secret to the school, give him a taste of his own medicine. What would his fans think if they knew that when they were empty, he jerked off in the showers moaning a certain British punks name over and over? What would they do to him if they knew the truth about their hero?
Of course... Ivan would never actually tell. He would get kicked off the football team if he did. He couldn't let that happen. The team was his life. He picked his head up and looked around the room, noticing a much quieter than usual Feliciano. Maybe he knew what happened to Lovino. He has to know! They're twins! When the teachers back was turned he snuck over to Feliciano and took the empty seat next to them. "P-Privyet... Feliciano... I was wondering I-if... if your brother way okay?" He didn't mean to bite his lip and look extremely nervous but... He was worried! The boy was a wreck after what they did to him... what if he hurt himself? Just the thought of those beautiful brown eyes being filled with tears of pain made Ivan cringe. Wait... no. not beautiful. Lovino wasn't beautiful... B-Because boys weren't beautiful... girls were... he had to stop thinking like that. If he kept it up people would start calling him a fag too.
Feliciano jumped and stared at him with wide eyes. "Uh…c-ciao, Ivan…" What did he want? Wasn't he friends with Alfred and Gilbert? W-Well…he never really hurt Lovino, s-so…maybe he could tell him? His amber eyes quickly darted around the room, swallowing when he saw no one seemed to be listening.
"H-He's f-fine…" oh no! Was he going to cry? He couldn't cry in front of Ivan. Ivan's eyes seemed to grow more concerned when he quickly halted a tear before it slid down his cheek. "H-He's been in the art room. He lied to our Nonno and said that there was a huge project due and that he needed to spend as much time in there as he could and that he would stop by the other classes and get the work, but I don't think he has been and Nonno believed him and signed a note so he could stay there all day and I don't think he's eating anymore and I'm really worried about him but he won't talk to me! He hasn't talked to me since…and I know why! It's my fault! It's all my fault!"
By now he was fully crying, practically screaming everything at Ivan. He hadn't talked about it. Not even to Luise, who he knew was very worried about him. He felt so horrible! Everything that was happening to his twin was his fault and he couldn't even help him to try to make it better. He'd tried to keep it all inside, but once he said one word now it was all just pouring out of him and he couldn't stop. "I said it even when he told me not to and now everyone knows and he's slowly killing himself and I can't help because he won't let me!"
Ivan froze and stared at the crying Italian. Oh god... what should he do? He sucked at comforting people. He patted the boys head and cough awkwardly. "u-um... I'm sorry... you should go talk to... someone that can help..." he rubbed the back of his neck. "You said he was in the art room?" Feliciano nodded as wiped away a few of his tears. Ivan smiled and raised his hand. " ... I don't feel so good... may I go to the nurse?"
The teacher simply nodded and put his feet on his desk, probably going back to sleep. That teacher was strange. There were plenty of rumors about him. One of them being he had cats hidden in one of his desk drawers. Strange. Anyway that wasn't important. What was important was that the Russian found himself sprinting to the art room.
He didn't know why he was going to see him. He didn't know why he was so concerned... There was just this pain in his chest whenever he thought about Lovino being alone and sad. Finally he had made it to the other end of the school and ended up in front of the art room. He took a deep breath before pushing the door open and seeing... no one. Was he not here? Had Feliciano lied? Was he in the wrong room? He was about to turn and leave when he heard and quite noise coming from the supply closet. He raised an eyebrow and crept closer. Oh god if someone was having sex in there again that would be so embarrassing... As he got closer it was obvious those weren't monas, they were sobs. He rushed to the closet and threw it open, staring down at the small Italian who was curled into a ball. "L-Lovino?"
Lovino froze, his whole body tensing. No! no, no, no, no, no, no! Not here too! Not this place! This is my fucking hiding spot! They can't find me here! "I-If you're here t-to f-fuck me over, just fucking do it th-then get the fuck out." Oh no! Why did I just use that term? What if he takes it the wrong way and I get kicked again? I don't think I could handle being kicked in the stomach anymore. My body might just crack under the pressure…
He hugged his left arm closer to his body. The bloodied towel thankfully didn't slip and reveal the fresh cut across his arm. If they found out he was a cutter then things would get even worse for him. He needed to keep some things secret. Some things he wouldn't even tell Feliciano. Never. No one needed to know. He had to get up now though. His head was spinning from the blood loss and the lack of food and sleep. The other person hadn't spoken. That was weird. Normally the beatings and taunting would have happened the moment they saw him. He looked up at his potential abuser and paused.
Ivan Braginski.
One of Alfred's though he never said anything. He never yelled. He never kicked him. He never…did anything. He just stood there like a dumb idiot. Hell, he didn't even look like he enjoyed half the shit they did to him. What did he want? The Russian had a huge frown on his beautiful face that looked so-eh. Not that shit again. He quickly looked down again, not wanting to 'meet the eyes of someone better than him'. He'd made that mistake before and though he'd gladly make it again to piss them off…he just didn't have the strength right now. "Wh-what do you want?"
Ivan felt his heart break at how empty he sounded. "L-Lovino..." He kneeled down and brushed a few hairs away from his face. Just the feeling of those soft strands touching his fingers made him shiver. He wondered what it would be like to gently bury his whole hand in his hair and pull him closer until they could feel the heat coming off each others bodies. Then they would cock their heads to the side just slightly and lean in for the kiss and- WHOA! No! That was sick! He didn't want to do that... yet he still felt a strange tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach. He realized the back of his hand was still on Lovino's cheek and pulled away quickly.
Fuck! Is what Alfred said true?! Could you... catch gay? Was that a real thing? He thought Alfred was just being an idiot! Dammit! Was it a disease? Did Lovino just spread it to him? Oh god! He heard on TV that it wasn't a choice... that you were born that way. Was that true? Now that he thought about it... He never was attracted to many girls. Sure some were pretty... But none of them ever stood out to him. He never wanted to kiss them or date them... It just didn't interest him. But now looking at Lovino... he could tell why he didn't want to. This man was more beautiful than any woman would ever be. Before he could stop himself he blurted out. "Are you born gay?" Ivan's eyes grew wide as a blush spread over his cheeks. Why did he just ask that?! He grabbed his scarf and forced it over his mouth to hide his blush but didn't do a very good job.
Lovino blinked and stared up at him. Did he really just….ask…that? "Um…s-sure?" How do you answer that? He really didn't give a shit why he was gay. He just hated that he was. "I…I guess…I've always j-just…" he paused and narrowed his eyes. Why was he explaining this? Why did Ivan even give a shit?! "F-Fuck you! Why do you even care? Can't you just leave me alone? Why do you all have to bother me here? This is my fucking spot!"
He sat up and weakly shoved Ivan away and tried to stand. "Just fuck you! Leave me alone! I want nothing to do with you people! Just call me names and then leave me alone! Why can't you just fucking understand that you stupid fucking Russian? I hate people! I hate all of you!" He got to his feet and was hit with a wave of dizziness. He shot his hands out to the nearest stable thing to steady himself only to blush when he had his hands on Ivan's chest. He pulled back and turned away. The towel had fallen, showing off his scarred arms including the newest cut that had just reopened and was beginning to bleed again. He hugged it to his chest and found back the tears as he stumbled away to a shelf full of different paper types.
"I'm a worthless freak. You should leave before I try to suck your dick…" He tried to swallow the huge lump in his throat, but only ended up letting the tears fall down his cheek. "Just get out."
Ivan bit his lip and stared at Lovino. Those words hurt him. Especially when he called himself a freak. "S-stop... Please." He took a few steps closer to Lovino and put his hands on either side of his head. "Show me." Lovino was confused and just stared up at the Russian. "Your arm... show it to me." He shook his head and clutched the arm tighter to his chest. Ivan sighed and lightly grabbed his arm, forcing it out for him to see. There were a lot of them. It scared Ivan that he did that to himself. With his free hand he gently ran his fingertips over the skin. "Why do you do this?"
Before he could respond he leaned down and planted a small kiss on the cut before leaving another and another. The smaller tried to pull away but Ivan held him tight and refused to let him leave. Once he was done he grabbed the overly shocked boys chin and tilted it up. "If you're a freak then so am I. I don't like to see you hurt yourself. I want to see you smile... I want to see you happy." His words were just flowing now, the words he kept bottled up for so long. "I'm sorry I've never stood up for you... It was wrong... Wh-what they did a-and... I'm sorry." He didn't know why he did it but suddenly he leaned down and captured Lovino's lips with his own.
It felt... right. It didn't feel awkward or forced like whenever the cheerleaders made a move on him. He slid his hands around Lovino's waist as the kiss deepened and that's when the reality of what he was doing crashed into him. A man. He was kissing a man. He jumped back and covered his mouth with his hand, staring at Lovino with wide eyes. "Oh my god... I'm so sorry. I-I didn't... I mean... I..." The blush heated his face as he failed to make a coherent sentence. Why had he done that?! Sure Lovino has cute and kissable lips but... No! It was wrong to kiss guys!
Lovino started at him in absolute shock. What the fuck was this? Ivan wasn't gay? No! Why was he doing this? Ivan was the fucking linebacker! He kissed and fucked girls every day! Not fags like him! He brought his free hand to his lips and touched them. How did he respond? His eyes moved down to where the other was still holding his wrist before he snatched it back and growled. His eyes narrowed at the other boy. "Do you think that's funny? You think that's a fun joke? Well fuck you." He snarled. "Who do you people think you are to play with my feelings like this? Go fuck yourself and stay the hell away from me."
He shoved him back and stormed past him, grabbed his bag and jacket before slamming the storeroom door behind him. Why the fuck had he done that? Was he for real? Asking those questions like he cared? Saying those things? Well fuck that! Lovino might be gay and a freak but he had feelings! He hated that everyone else seemed to forget that. There was no way someone as beautiful as Ivan would care for him. Even his own twin didn't care enough or…whatever. Fuck this. Fuck life. Fuck everyone! He threw the jacket on and pushed past the people that crowded the hallways. Besides lunch, this was the worst time of the day for him. Avoiding the other people that wanted to hurt or taunt him was almost impossible, but he managed. The minute bell rang and he darted into the bathroom to the sink. His eyes looked haunted while his face was pale and almost lifeless. He swallowed. This was never going to get better…was it? Never...he'd be better off dead.
Ivan stared at the ground, touching his lip. I wasn't pretending... For the first time I spoke my mind... And you rejected me. Tears filled his purple eyes but he blinked them back. He hadn't cried since his mother died six years ago. He wasn't about to do that again. He walked to the door and threw it open. He punched the drywall next to the opening and left a large hole before storming out.
Yekatrina giggled at the feeling of her boyfriend's lips against her neck. "G-Gil! Stop~! I have to get to class!" As the minute bell rang she noticed a small Italian running into the bathroom. "Look! It's your favorite little fag. Maybe we should pay him a visit."
Gilbert held her tighter, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "I love you, babe. Let's do it." He turned to the Alfred and Antonio. "You in?" They nodded and smirked. "Si. Let's get him good." Kat turned to her fellow cheerleaders. "You girls coming?" Elizabeta nodded and pulled put her camera from her backpack. Lillie looked around; making sure her big brother wasn't around, before smiling and nodding. "Good!" The busty head cheerleader said as she led the group to the bathroom. Kat was the first to approach him. "Oh Lovi~ I haven't seen you in a few days! How you doing, you little shit?"
For what felt like the hundredth time in the past few weeks, Lovino froze and felt his entire fill with dread. He swallowed and refused to look up. Liz walked to his other side and wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing him away from the sink so she was directly in front of him. His eyes averted to the side then because a moment ago they had been perfectly aligned with her boobs. He swallowed again. "L-Leave me alone…"
"Aww! Why? You're so much fun Lovi~" the hand with the camera went out and she turned it so it was pointing at her before her other hand shoved Lovino's head into her chest. The picture snapped and Lovino panicked and pushed her back; his face beat red. She giggled and snapped another. Alfred grabbed Lovino's one shoulder while Gil grabbed the other. "Hey Liz! Get a shot of faggot kissing Toni!"
Antonio snarled. "I told you to stop associating me with the little homo! I would never even touch something like him!" Alfred rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine…Kat?" She smirked so he continued. "Why don't you give little Lovino here some of your love?" Liz giggled.
"Switched it to recording~! This is going to be a YouTube hit!" Lovino tried to break free. "S-Stop! Per favore! P-Perché puoi m-mi lasci solo?! Si scopa stupidi!" They just laughed. "Dude, we don't speak fag." Elizabeta shoved the camera in his face. "Come on, Kat! Kiss him!"
Kat walked up to him and put her arms around his neck, pulling him close so her chest was pressed against his. "Oh come on Lovi~. Don't you think I'm pretty? Everyone else does... Oh yeah," She chuckled and grabbed a fist full of his hair, pulling his head back harshly. "I forgot. You're not like everyone else. You're a little freak." She giggled and moved her face in closer so their hot breath was mingled. "Come on Lovino. Just close your eyes. Pretend I'm Antonio. You know you want to."
She pressed their lips together and wasted no time on shoving her tongue in his mouth. He tried to pull away but she held him in place. In a panic to get her off, he bit her tongue hard, making her recoil backwards and fall into Gil. "You little fuck! You bit my tongue!" She hissed as blood dribbled out of her mouth. "Why the fuck do you taste like vodka, Lovi? Drinking away the pain?"
Gilbert went up to her and cupped her cheeks. "Are you okay?" She shook her head and stuck out her tongue so he could see her cut. He leaned down and kissed the wet muscle. "Better?" She frowned. "No. Kick the faggot's ass. Then I'll feel better." He smirked and kissed her forehead before turning to the boys. "You heard the lady." They all smirked as they cornered Lovino. Antonio and Alfred grabbed his wrists and pinned him to the wall, making him whimper. Gilbert laughed. "Come on, It's not like you don't like Antonio pinning you to the wall." He punched the boy in the stomach. "You like it don't you, freak?"
Lovino trembled under their punches. It hurt. It hurt so much more than it should. "D-Don't! Bastardo!" The tears kept coming, but that only made them laugh more while Elizabeta recorded this. Antonio had his left arm while Alfred squeezed his right. Alfred laid a punch to his cheek and he cried out, his eyes shutting as blood oozed out of his now split lip. "P-Please…just stop…please…" He sounded so weak. So broken. He just wanted to die. He wanted them to just end it. To hit him so hard, all his chords snapped and his brain function just stopped. He wanted this to be over. When was it going to be over? They let him fall to his knees and clutch at his aching stomach.
"Hey, what the fuck is that? I didn't hold him that hard." His left arm was pulled out and the sleeve was lifted up. "Holy shit! Are you getting this Liz?"
"Oh ya~!" Antonio grabbed the hair on the back of his head and pulled it back, then smacked his face. "Look at me! Open those dick loving eyes." Lovino's bottom lip trembled, but he did. Antonio was smirking down at him. "So you cut too, huh? A cutter, a drinker and a fag. Well isn't that just special?"
Gilbert cackled and roughly grabbed the arm, making Lovino cry out as the other squeezed it, watching the blood come out faster and slide down him arm onto the floor. "You know…I don't think you cut deep enough. I mean…you're still breathing, aren't you?" Red eyes met terrified hazel. "If you're going to cut yourself, then it should be all the way. You should just end your miserable little, cunt life. Then you can go see your parents again in hell."
"F-Fuck you!"
Antonio smacked him again. "Shut the fuck up, you homo! You know damn well that you're not getting into heaven, cock-lover, and that your parents can't be there either if they helped raise a fuck like you."
Kat pulled a cigarette out of her pocket and put it between her lips. Gilbert pulled out a lighter and lit his girlfriend's cigarette. She chuckled and walked closer to Lovino. "Look at you cry. What a fag..." She leaned down and blew smoke in his face. "You deserve to die." She grabbed his arm and dug the cigarette into his arm right on his cuts making him hiss in pain. "No one cares about you. No one gives a shit if you are alive or dead. Feliciano obviously doesn't care. He never stands up for you... No one does…because no one cares."
She smirked and stood up, going back next to Gil. "Come on let's get out of here. He's not worth our time." Alfred chuckled before spitting on Lovino's head. "Stupid fag." Antonio high fived the American and laughed as the pair walked out. Liz turned off her camera and shoved it in the pocket if her skirt. "People are going to love this!" Lili stared down at Lovino with a frown. "Kat... Maybe we should help him. I think you guys hurt him really bad..." The older girl scoffed.
"Lili... You can't show sympathy for freaks like him. Do you want to be on the cheer squad or not?" Lili nodded frantically and ran to the others side. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to be nice to the... F-freak." Kat patted her head and smile as Gilbert wrapped a hand around her waist. "You'll learn, little one." All three of them left, Lili giving Lovino a sympathetic smile before following the others.
His body felt numb. Everything felt nonexistent and if it weren't for the horrid smell of the bathroom, he would have thought it was all dream. Freak…fag…worthless…no one cares…I deserve to die…life would be so much easier if I was gone. No one would care. They would be happier without me. I…I'm done with this shit…
The tears continued to fall as he painfully stood on his trembling legs. He was dizzy and he stomach hurt worse that it probably should. The lack of food and blood loss was getting to him, but he somehow managed to get down the halls and out the first door. His feet kept moving. His mind was just spinning around those same words. Fag. Fag. Fag. He was gay. Freak. Freak. Freak. He was alone. Different. Alone. The end. They were right though. Heaven wouldn't take him. Whether he lived or died, he wasn't exactly the nicest person around to begin with and now he liked men. His own damn gender. God would hate him for that. He would be turned away. So what was his other option? Hell? The devil wouldn't even take him. He was a bastard. No one wanted him. No one. Not even his own twin. Feliciano would be better off without him. Nonno would be better off without him. Hell, even the football bastards would be better off without him. Antonio would be better off without him.
He wiped a few tears from his eyes and stared down at the water rushing below him. Huh…when had he gotten to the bridge overlooking the river that flowed at the edge of town? Had he really been walking for that long? Remarkable he didn't pass out. Guess…guess that meant he was supposed to die today. He painfully slid his messenger bag from his shoulders and slid off his hoodie before climbing up onto the rail and staring down. A watery death, but death nonetheless. This was the end.
Ivan was wondering around town, a bottle of vodka in one hand and a bag of sunflower seeds in the other. He just... Needed to clear his head. Things had gotten so crazy. He kissed a man... A man! And he liked it! He was gay! Gay! He liked men!
He ditched school so no one would see him upset and ask him what was wrong because he knew he would spill his guts to them. He took a drink of his vodka and sighed. Yes he was 16 and had a serious drinking problem. It wasn't always like that... When his mother died he didn't know how to cope and he always saw his father drink so... He tried it. He hadn't been able to quit since. He tried to get as far away from town as possible and ended up walking along the river. He looked up at the old bridge and... Wait. Was that Lovino? What was he...Was he trying to... Oh god!
Before he could think properly he dropped the vodka and the seeds before running as fast as he could all the way up to the bridge. He didn't want to scare him by running and grabbing him but he didn't want to wait and have him jump. No... He couldn't have that. He stood a few feet behind Lovino, hand out stretched. "L-Lovino... Do-Don't... Please."
His body went ridged, but he didn't really register what he had just heard. He slowly turned his tearstained face to look at the speaker. "I-Ivan..?" What was he doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be in school? He should be in school. It wasn't safe for kids to be out here alone. He felt the need to make a snarky comment, but it died before it even processed in his brain. He just felt too numb to even insult the kid. He blinked at him a few more times. "You should go back. It's not safe." He robotically turned back to the water. He could hear it rushing beneath them.
It sounded so loud. Why did it have to be so loud? Was it death? Was he coming to take him away? Would he even want to take him? Wouldn't he fear the 'gay' virus like everyone else? It wasn't like Lovino could help it really. He just liked dick. Girls didn't get shunned for liking it so why should he? Maybe, in death, he could actually be someone's equal. That sounded nice. No more negative comments. No more punching. Just…no more. Completely forgetting Ivan was even there, he climbed up to the fifth and final rung before swinging one leg over before the other. He paused for a second, sitting down on the bar and staring at the rushing water. It looked…calm actually. Would welcoming be the right term? He sighed. Welcoming or not, it didn't matter did it? Everyone wanted him dead so…he would just have to jump anyway.
Ivan stared at Lovino in shock. Did he even know he was speaking out loud? Is that how he really felt? That everyone wanted him dead? That wasn't true. Not even close. Was he really going to do it? He couldn't... Suddenly he saw the man sniffle and lift his arms out to his side, letting himself start to fall. "No!" The Russian ran and grabbed the boy's hand, stopping him from falling. He pulled him back over the railing and forced him to the ground. "Don't you Fucking dare." His voice was cold and sad. "Don't you dare die." He got on top of the smaller male and… Dare he say it, straddled his hips so he couldn't move. "Please d-don't do this. You don't deserve to die. You're a wonderful person. I don't know how others don't see it." He wiped away a few tears off his cheeks. "You're so beautiful." His words caught even him off fairs. Beautiful? That was... Surprising. He just kept talking, not even sure what he was saying. "I'm so sorry. For all those years... I just sat back and watched. I never helped you." He brushed the hair out of the shocked Lovino's face. "I hate seeing you sad. It always hurt me whenever they made you upset, I was just too scared to stand up for you. I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry."
Lovino's lip trembled. No. No. No. He didn't want to hear it. No. it wasn't true. After all these years, the big stupid Russian was suddenly interested in him…and in that way too? No. Just no fucking way. No! No! "No! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up, Shut up, shut up, shut up!" He attempted to cover his ears with his hands, but Ivan held his wrists and kept saying all those nice words that he'd been longing to hear for years. "N-No! Pl-please…stop! Just s-stop!" He couldn't listen to this. Not now. He must have fallen because no one would ever say this shit to him…only his grandfather and that was because his stupid Nonno had no fucking idea. He just wanted to keep Lovino 'happy' because he missed the first half of his life. The actually important part for a grandparent. No, he came into the picture when his daughter and son-in-law died. When his grandsons were orphans. Just…no. Those words were like poison in his ears. He struggled to get away. He wanted to die. He needed to die, but the stupid bastard was fucking heavy! He was strong too and Lovino was still weak from everything. "No! no! no! NO! LET GO OF ME! LET ME THE FUCK GO! You don't care! No one cares! Please! Please, just let me go!" He choked on a dry sob. His tears were done. There was nothing left. "Pl-Pl-Please…j-just s-stop…j-just l-let me g-go…I hate you! I h-ha-hate you!"
Ivan felt the stab of pain in his heart at his words. Tears gathered in his purple eyes as he stated into Lovino's hazel ones. "Hate me a-all you want, I won't let y-you kill yourself." He held onto Lovino's wrists with one hand and moved the other one down to caress his soft cheek. "Someone like you can't just throw your life away. I've seen your art... It's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Just like you. Letting talent like that go to waste would be a crime, da?" He smiled sadly and pulled one on Lovino's wrists so he could see his cuts. "I'm sorry you felt the need to do this to yourself." For the second time he leaned down and gently kissed the cuts, except this time he put passion into it. He wanted Lovino to know he was loved because well... He was. By him. He loved Lovino. He hadn't been able to realize it until he saw the cuts but Now... He knew if he lost this man he wouldn't be able to go on. "I know I haven't always been there for you but... For now on I will be there for you. I won't let them hurt you anymore." He leaned down and pressed their foreheads together. "No one will ever touch you again for as long as you live. I promise."
Lovino screamed, turning his head away from the other. "No! No! No! No! W-why!? Wh-why now?! You…you b-bastard! P-p-p-pr-proprio quandro ero p-pr-pronto a morire! Ora vieni in!? Ti…odio! T-Ti o…dio!" He broke out into more sobs and tried to break free from Ivan. Not now. Not after all this time. Not when he was so determined to end his own life. Why did this happen? God's work? God was a pompous bastard that didn't give a flying fuck about him! He didn't care whether Lovino died! He didn't care if Lovino spent the rest of this world's existence stuck on a ghostly plane because no one would take him. He went to pull his arm back, but it didn't move. His body had reached its peak and now he was all spent. He stilled; his body practically sinking into the pavement. He had no fight left. If ivan was going to start hurting him now…he wouldn't be able to stop it. His eyes drooped. He was so tired. So dizzy. Ivan pulled his head back and stared at him in concern. Wait…how long had Ivan been there? When did he show up again? Where…where was he? His stomach clenched. He wasn't at school was he? What about Feliciano's lunch check-up? He would be so sad that his brother wasn't there. He had to make Feliciano happy because…because…he was his…twin and one of them needed….needed…to be happy…right? His eyes closed and he barely registered two strong arms picking him up before he passed out.
Ivan sighed and cradled the small man tighter against his chest. He took a long look at him and smiled sadly. "You look so peaceful like this...No pain. No anger. No fear... Just peace." He kissed his forehead and started to walk to his car. He gently set down the Italian in the passenger seat before climbing in the drivers side. He started the car and pulled out from the From where he parked. He started driving down the road before he slammed on the brakes. Fuck... Where does he live... I've never been to his house before... God Dammit... Maybe he will wake up soon and I'll ask him... I'll just drive till then. Four hours later he was still driving around and had no idea where the fuck he was going. School was obviously over from the fact many of his classmates were wondering about the streets. "God Dammit lovino... Why won't you wake up..." He saw feliciano unlocking the door to a house before going inside. They were twins so... They lived in the same house right? Worth a shot... He climbed out of the car and looked around, making sure no other football players were around, before going and getting lovino. He carried the boy up to his house. He didn't have any free hands so he bent down and pressed the doorbell with his nose, listening to it chime quietly.
Feliciano was sobbing in his grandfather's hold. Romulus sighed at the doorbell. "Shhh, Feli, it's ok. Here," he led him to the kitchen table and sat him in a chair. "Sit here and I'll go get rid of whoever is at the door." Feli nodded and rubbed at his eyes, wiping the tears that were soon replaced by more. He'd gone to see Lovino during lunch, but his twin hadn't been there. It scared him so he went searching for Lovino, but no one was helpful so when he got home moments ago, he spilled everything. Nonno understood and said he would take care of everything. Feli felt so hopeless.
Romulus opened the door and his eyes widened. "L-Lovino?" His grandson was there, in the arms of another boy. He didn't hesitate to take Lovino into his own arms and hold him tight. "Oh, il mio bambino! Mia dolce, dolce nipote. Mi dispiace. Mi dispiace tanto, Lovino." He looked up at Ivan. "Grazie. Thank you for bringing him home. Feliciano has been worried sick." He stood and moved aside a little. "Please, come in. Where did you find him?" they walked back into the kitchen and Feliciano ran to them. "Lovino! Fratello, guardami! Per favore! Perché non si sveglia?" The Italian looked up and realized Ivan was standing there. "I-Ivan? Why are you here?"
Ivan looked down and blushed slightly. "I... I um... I brought lovino home." He pulled his lettermans jacket tighter around his shoulders and bit his lip. "I found him at the old bridge... H-He..." Oh god should he tell them? What if lovino got angry with him... He probably didn't want anyone to know, right? But what if he tried again? The family would need to know so they could watch out for him. Dammit... This was hard. He didn't want lovino to hate him. Plus if he talked to him he could convince him he had things to live for... "He was skipping school. He looked pretty upset. I talked to him for a while and he cried so hard he passed out... I think something else happened at school..." He looked at the ground and swallowed hard. He had thought about it a bit on the ling car ride and...Maybe he tried to kill himself because he had kissed him. What if he was the reason the man he loved almost died?
Romulus frowned and hugged Lovino tighter to him. He stared at Ivan long and hard before nodding stiffly. "I'm going to take him to his room then we're going to have a long talk." He turned for the stairs and Feliciano launched himself onto Ivan. "Grazie! Grazie! Grazie for finding him and bringing him home!" He giggled and pulled back, dragging Ivan over to the table and sitting him down. "I was so worried when he wasn't in the art room. I really thought you'd done something to him, but then you weren't at school either, so I didn't think you could have. I looked all over for him and I even asked Alfred if he'd seen him since..." he sniffled again. "He just laughed and said he was probably waiting in front of a computer so he could see his mark on Youtube. I wasn't sure what he meant, but fratello wasn't in the library or any of the computer labs so when school let out I came home and told Nonno about everything. Lovi never told him about…and I didn't because…" He swallowed uneasily. "Do you want pasta? Coffee? Wine? Anything?" he didn't wait for a reply before going to the fridge and nervously fishing though it. Romulus came back downstairs and sat on the other end of the table, eyeing Ivan's jacket. "So…who are you and why is someone from the football team helping my grandson?"
Ivan blushed harder and pulled his scarf up a little to hide his rosy cheeks. "My name is Ivan Braginski. It's a pleasure to meet you." He reached across the table and shook Romulus's hand. His mother always told him to greet others with a firm handshake. It was apparently polite, or something. He sighed and looked down, not able to meet either set of eyes on him. "I'm helping because... I don't like the way the others treat him. It's not right. He better than that. Lovino deserves so much better than to be tormented day in and day out." He tried to swallow the lump in his throat but found difficulty doing so. He cleared his throat before continuing. "Lovino is something special... He truly is... Whenever they call him names or hurt him I get this twisted feeling in my gut... I want it all to stop. I want him to be happy... And when I found the cuts I-..." He saw both Italians eyes widen. "D-Did you not know that?" He coughed awkwardly and decided to play with a loose thread on his jacket. "Y-Yeah... I found the cuts today and... And it just tore me apart. To know he did that because of something I could have stopped…I just want to see him happy. I just want to see him smile."
Fresh tears slid down Feliciano's face and he choked back a sob. His hands trembled as he turned back to the fridge to shut the door. Lovino…cut? He cut himself? He'd…why didn't lovnio tell him? Why didn't he know? He turned towards the cabinet to pull out drinking glasses for them. Why? Just…why? What had Lovino been doing at the bridge? He wouldn't just skip school like that. Lovino might hate the place, but he wouldn't leave the art room. Art always calmed him down. Always. It was his escape. His place of solitude. He wouldn't leave it unless something really /bad/ had happened. Unless-
He jumped when the full glasses slipped from his shaking hands and shattered at his feet. More sobs poured from his eyes and his hands shot to his mouth. "Ah! I-I-I'm s-sorry! I-I didn't m-mean t-to…" He went to kneel down but Romulus got up and went to his side, avoiding the glass.
"Feli, no." He held onto the other's shoulders and helped him back to a standing position. "Please…go upstairs. Go to your fratello and stay by his side. He needs you right now, ok? I'm going to talk to Ivan a little longer then I'll be right up, ok?" Feli sniffed and nodded, hugging his arms to his body as he went upstairs. Romulus sighed and retook his seat, not even bothering to clean up the mess. "I am sorry about him. Feliciano has always been more…emotional than Lovino." He leaned back and drummed his fingers against the table. "I have always had an idea of what was going on. I knew my grandson was gay, but I never realized that the other students would react like this." He sighed. "At least now Feli's constant tears make sense."
Ivan sat down across from the other and stared down at the wood table. "There is... Something I would like to tell you..." He bit his lip and ran a hand through his blond hair. "I wouldn't dare say this in front of feliciano... I couldn't. No one can know." His purple eyes met the confused brown ones. "I... W-well... Your grandson... Lovino... H-He is... Well I... Or we... I mean..." He couldn't find the right words to say this. If anyone found out about this he would be ruined. Everything would be taken away from him. But this was Lovino's grandfather. He seemed to be cool about lovino being gay... Maybe he would accept him too. Hopefully... He let out a ling sigh before quickly and quietly muttering. "I'm gay..." Romulus raised an eyebrow. "What? I couldn't hear you." The Russian repeated the sentence slightly louder but it was still to quiet for the other.
"I'm sorry but you have to speak u-"
"I'M FUCKING GAY, ALRIGHT?! FOR YOUR GOD DAMN GRANDSON!" He covered his mouth quickly and his eyes widened. "Oh... Sir, I am so sorry. I meant no disrespect."
Romulus stared at him long and hard before an amused look crossed his face. "I see…" He continued to drum his fingers against the table. "So…from what Feliciano has told me over the past few minutes before you arrived, you're…" 'Friends' seemed like the wrong word to choose, especially after heaing the declaration he just screamed. "…fellow teammates have been targeting my grandson for a few years now. You, apparently, have done nothing to either hurt or help him in that time and now, it seems, you have come to terms with your sexuality." He thought for a moment. "I understand the spot you are now in, but I must tell you…if you have feelings for Lovino, you will try everything in your power to keep those…" stupid, fucking, worthless, vile, inconsiderate, rude, pompous asshole- "…students away from him. I will try what I can, but…I already know that from these other boys positions on the team, they will be untouchable." He sighed for what felt like the hundredth time. His body looking like it aged years in seconds. "It pains me to see this. There had always been this knowing that Lovino was under a constant threat of somehitng, I feard fellow students. I never would have thought that all this pain would be because of his sexuality. I, myself, am bi. I never thought I would see this. I can't get him to eat anymore. I don't think he's actually eaten in days. He won't let me help him. He won't let Feliciano in either…" he gave Ivan a small smile. "Perhaps you can…help him. I will contact the school on my end, but, as I said, Lovino won't let us in. He doesn't trust anyone. I usually wouldn't place this burden onto a kid like you, but…you say you have feelings so I at least expect you to try. Will you?"
Ivan nodded slowly. "Of course I will... I'm not sure how much I can do without the others finding out about... That. If they find out I'll be kicked off the team. I can't lose my position. my dad would..." Punch me, smack me, cut me, burn me... Of course he couldn't say that. He might call the police on his father... He couldn't allow that. His sisters needed him, even though he hurt them too. The only person outside the family that knew was Gilbert, and that was only because he found the cigar burns on Kat's back and insisted he tell her what happened... That was another reason he couldn't let his secret get out. Gilbert knew all his little dirty secrets and if those got out... Him and both his sisters social life would be ruined. That just... Couldn't happen. "I will try my hardest to keep him safe."
Romulus nodded. "Grazie, Ivan. Again…thank you for bringing him home." He stood up and extended his hand for the other. They shook hands and Ivan stood up, almost reaching his height. Si…this boy can protect him. I'm…I'm sure of it… He smacked Ivan's back and did his best to smile while leading him to the door. "Please…if you notice anything, tell me. Tell Feli. Don't keep this to yourself." He nodded. "I'm happy Lovino can finally have a friend…if not a lover…" He felt Ivan stiffen and his smile widened as he opened the door. "Be safe, Ivan Braginski. I will be expecting to hear from you at some point in the future." Ivan nodded and Romulus let his smile fall slightly. "I don't know how I can repay you…" He went quiet for a moment before he smiled again. "Addio, Ivan." He pulled back and shut the door before sighing yet again. He looked at the stairs and prepped himself as he ascended to the next level where his two grandsons would be.
This is part one of three; aka the 'threeshot' i have in the description. This is also RPd between myself and YourUglyDuckling. ^.^ i was hoping for a Oneshot but that just didn't work out.
Did you like it? Any issues you have? R&R
OH! this story is based off the song Make it Stop (September's Children) by Rise Against I highly suggest listening it and watching the music video. Ya...until chapter two my friends...