The pier is deserted now it's the end of summer. Gone are the throngs of people that used to wander up and down aimlessly, laughing, and joking with their friends enjoying the sunshine and the clear weather, and I'm left to retrace their steps with my hands deep in my pockets, looking out at the ocean which seems to go on forever. The wind shivers through me, and I feel my breath catch in my throat as I realise that they are going to be here any minute. She'll come walking up to me and place her hands on my hips, smiling while she places a kiss on my cheek, whilst my heart beats just that little bit faster as I feel her against me.
But it won't be the same.
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Both of our lives have been turned upside down, its not just her and me anymore, its me, her and him. Alfie. It didn't seem real back then, it seemed like it was far-away, that it was never going to happen and we would continue with the way we were. I had smirked a little when she told me her choice, she had her heart set on the name, but then I couldn't bear to see her unhappy. Not after everything that I put her through. Her mom had practically disowned her when she realised what had happened, and Kirsten and Sandy weren't exactly pleased. The worst part was not the fact that they were angry, just that when they looked at me I could tell they were disappointed in me. Ryan Atwood, he isn't going to get his girlfriend pregnant. The straight-A student with his whole life ahead of him, especially after what had happened last time. But the fact is, I'm disappointed in myself. When Marissa looks me in the eyes and tells me that this is the best thing that has ever happened to her, I can't help but smile slightly and look down, my face looking slightly downcast and watching her eyebrows furrow as she wonders whats wrong. I couldn't ever tell her, because now there are two other people to disappoint.
Her and my son.
It feels weird, calling him that, that he's mine. Alfie's something that Marissa and I made, together. It wasn't supposed to happen, Marissa and I. She had just returned from Greece, I was about to set off for college. I ended up meeting her from the airport, and it just happened. The minute I saw her walking down towards me, her hair slightly blonder and longer, from the sun I guess, her skin more tanned and her smile more radiant, it grew wider when she caught sight of me. I almost felt stupid, standing there with a bunch of flowers when we weren't even together. She had been gone for six months, and although I counted each day wishing that I had stopped her from going, nothing could beat the feeling of seeing her again. They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and when I saw her nearing me, I thought my heart was going to burst. Then she hugged me, stroking the back of my neck like she always used to do, and I knew that it was far from over.
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"Whats a thonogrammy?" Little Sophie had asked missing her two front teeth as Marissa had showed her the first sonogram of our baby. Marissa had laughed and corrected her, as I stood slightly back, my hand lingering on the small of Marissa's back, making sure she didn't strain herself too much now she had the extra weight to think about. "Why is it black? Where is the baby now? When can I see it?" The questions had kept coming and Marissa and I coulddo nothing but laugh. "I think Ry would make a great daddy!" Sophie had said, smiling widely up at me as Marissa smiled. "Why do you think that, Soph?" Marissa had asked, and had placed her hand over mine which was resting on top of her stomach. "'Cos he plays Candyland with me, buys me ice cream and he lets me stay up later than Mommy and Daddy do..." She had looked shocked as though she had disclosed a huge secret to Marissa, quickly righting herself. "But don't tell Mommy and Daddy that Marissa incase they don't let Ryan look after me any more!" Marissa had laughed, and reassured Sophie that her lips were sealed, before turning and placing a kiss on my cheek. "Well, I think that Ryan will be a great Dad too." I smiled slightly, hugging her even tighter as I tried to push all my doubts to the back of my mind.
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The first time I saw him, he was just a tiny bundle wrapped up in Marissa's arms, the shock of blonde hair and his bright blue eyes, just like mine. I felt like I couldn't breathe as I watched Marissa with him, and I leant my head gently onto the glass that seperated us before me, trying to fight back the tears which had somehow formed in the back of my eyes. I felt a hand on my back, turning to see Sandy beside me. "Despite it all, I'm proud of you son." He had said, not quite meeting me in the eye, although I knew that this was hard for him to. The man who had tried so hard to give me a better life, and I just felt like I was throwing it back into his face. "What are you waiting for? Go and see your son." He smiled as he gestured to the door, patting me on the back again as I returned his smile slightly, walking slowly past him and entering the room. Marissa hadn't noticed me at the door first of all, mesmerised by her baby. Our baby. Alfie was wearing the babygro that I had bought for him, after we found out Marissa was having a baby boy. It was light blue with little mittens attached to it, and a matching hat, but best of all it had the words "I love Mommy" written across it in soft white stitching. Kirsten had helped me choose it, I'm not exactly the best when it comes to fashion, but I knew she loved it when she let out a small squeal as she unwrapped it and hugged me tight, thanking me over and over again. I loved how happy it had made her. And now, seeing Alfie wear it, it suddenly felt real. That bundle in Marissa's arms, was my son. Summer had already told me that she thought he had my eyes, and looking at him now, even I could see the resemblance. It astounded me completely, me, Ryan, had a son. Marissa was sitting there completely at ease, tugging the hat down over Alfie's head where it had slid off, gently doing up the buttons which had come undone, all the time with this smile on her face. Even after 16 hours of labour, she still looked beautiful, glowing almost. And the fact that she was holding my child made the sight even more special. Still, I couldn't shake off this strange feeling I had in my stomach. I was 18, just about to start college, I couldn't have a baby. I could barely look after myself, how could I cope looking after both Marissa and Alfie? My stomach had twisted itself into knots as I edged closer and closer to the bed, the tears ever threatening to fall no matter how hard I fought to keep them back. "Hey, Daddy." Marissa smiled at me, her soft words had slowly, barely escaped her lips but the impact hit me all the same. I was a Daddy. And that was when all resolution went out of the window. No matter how it had happened, Alfie was here, and he was mine. Marissa and I had a son, and I realised that there was an unbreakable bond and that I would do anything in the world to make sure that this little blue bundle in Marissa's arms had everything he ever wanted in life, that I would never let anything harm him or Marissa ever again. There was too much at stake now to lose it all.
I had sat down at the edge of the bed, unable to keep the grin from curving onto my lips as I took in the scene before me. Unable to resist, I slowly got up again, Marissa had slid gently over in the bed so I could sit down beside her. I had placed my arm tightly around her, leaning in to the side of her body as I placed a small kiss into the curve of her neck, unable to express my feelings in any other way. She turned her head, and whispered gently in my ear "I love you..." and I had hugged her closer towards me, my heart pounding as everything finally pulled together. I had been just about to reply as Seth and Summer had burst in, Kirsten, Sandy and Julie close behind. Seth wittering on with some witty statement, Summer laughing at him, Kirsten sniffling happily from behind a tissue, Sandy staring on proudly, whilst Julie smiled at me slightly, eyes connecting with me as if to say everything was finally all right.
I had turned to Marissa once again, this time placing a gentle kiss on her lips, "I love you too..." She smiled as we pulled away, and I tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Do you want to hold him?" She asked, smiling as she watched my face wrinkle into a grin once again. Slowly she passed Alfie to me, as I took my arm from behind her to support his soft head and his body, a body which was so light I could hardly believe I was holding anything. Looking down at his content face, his eyes now closed as he lay asleep in my arms, his hands curled up into tiny fists that rested on his chest, I couldn't help but lean down and place a gentle kiss on his forehead. Feeling a flash, I had looked up to see Summer standing with a digital camera. "I couldn't help it, the three of you looked so cute..." She had said, clasping her hands together as she had sighed happily. Marissa and I looked at each other and smiled, it might not have been right, but it sure as hell felt that way. In fact, it felt perfect.
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A/N:- In case you didn't guess, Marissa and Ryan had a baby together yayy, the crash never happened, Marissa returned from Greece, Marissa and Ryan got back together and then she got pregnant. This is just going to be a three-parter, but I hope you guys like it. If you have any questions about it just pm me.
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