ROBOSTILTSKIN
By James Barratt
Do you all remember the classic Grimm Fairy Tale "Rumpelstiltskin" where an imp kidnaps a queen's baby, in return for spinning straw into gold?
Well, I now present to you, an exciting new version of the classic tale with a futuristic twist. Instead of an imp, our main villain is a robot.
In the year 3000, in the Space Colony GRIMMLACTICA, there lived a king who had rooms full of scrap metal. This king was very greedy, and wanted nothing more than to have the scrap metal welded into gold, so he summoned the ironsmith, who was a very, poor man who boasted that his daughter was the master welder, and would be able to weld all his scrap metal. Once the king heard this, he had the man's daughter brought before him. She was confused, as to why she'd been brought to him. The king gave her a menacing smile. "Young lady, I want you to do something for me" he said evilly. "What might that be, Your Majesty?" asked the girl. The king led her to a small room in which there sat a small pile of scrap metal on a workbench, a welding iron and a welding mask. "I want you to weld all this scrap metal into gold by morning" he demanded. The girl took one look at the scrap metal. "What will you give me if I do this?" she asked. "I will give you some new shoes" the king promised her. When he left the room, he disabled the automatic door to stop her escape. She put on the welding mask and set to work, wondering how she was to perform this impossible task. It was after midnight when a shiny silver little robot appeared. "Excuse me, miss" he said in a very human sounding voice. The girl took off the mask and sat down. "Hello. I didn't see you come in" she said. "No, miss" replied the robot. "How did you get in? The door was deactivated" she said. "I materialised" replied the robot. The girl looked closer and saw he had a rubber face that looked as if it was made of actual human skin. "Amazing" she said. "What seems to be the problem, miss?" asked the robot. "The king demands that I weld all this scrap metal into gold by morning" the girl told him. The robot looked at the bench of scrap metal. "Miss, I will weld this scrap metal into gold for you" he said. "You will?" said the girl. "Yes, miss" replied the robot. "What do you want in return for it?" asked the girl. The robot saw the ring on her finger. "I want that ring" he said. The girl agreed to the bargain and left the ring on the table, and went to bed. Next morning, she woke up to find a pile of gold on the workbench, and her ring gone. The king came to inspect the gold and led her to a slightly bigger room with another workbench and a bigger pile of scrap metal. "If you can weld all this scrap metal into gold by morning, I will change those rags for a new dress" he promised, but didn't live up to his last promise of new shoes and left her alone, disabling the electronic doors. She was so deflated that she just sat at the bench crying. The robot appeared once again and approached the bench. "Miss, oh why are you crying?" he asked. "The king expects me to weld this big heap of scrap metal into gold by morning" she sobbed. The robot looked at heap of scrap metal. "Miss, I will weld this scrap metal into metal for you. In return for the favour, I want that silver bracelet" he said, eying her silver bracelet. The girl agreed, leaving her bracelet on the nightstand and went to bed. Next morning, she woke up to find a massive pile of gold on the workbench and littering the floor, and her bracelet gone. When the king came to inspect, he was so thrilled he took her to the biggest room with the hugest heap of scrap metal which she was to weld into gold by that evening. He promised to marry her if she was able to do so, still not living up to any of his last two promises for new shoes or a new dress. He left her locked in as he had done twice before. She sat at the bench and tried to do the task but couldn't possibly strain herself. The robot appeared for a third time and approached the bench. "Miss, why so pained?" he asked. "The king demands that I weld this huge heap of scrap metal into gold by this evening. Marriage is the promise this time" she told him. The robot thought about it. "Miss, I will weld this scrap metal into gold for you" he said. "Thank you" said the girl. "But I want your first born child when you're the queen" the robot demanded. The girl nervously agreed without thinking about it, and left the robot to do the work. That evening, the king came in to inspect and was so pleased he married the girl, making her his queen. One year later, she bore him a son and they were very happy. Until one evening when the robot appeared again. "Give me your baby" he demanded. The queen looked at him sadly. "No, I will not give you my baby" she told him firmly. "You agreed" said the robot" "I don't care what I said. You aren't getting my little boy" the queen told him. "Alright, if you can tell me my name, I will call off the deal" said the robot and he disappeared. The queen was now at wit's end trying to guess the robot's name but none of the names she thought of sounded right. One day, she was out for a walk when she saw the robot in a clearing where she heard him chanting. "Tomorrow, I will claim that baby, or my name isn't Robostiltskin" to himself over and over again. "Aha! Now I've got you, robot" she said. Next day, when he appeared to claim the little prince, she was ready for him. "Is your name Metalhead Matt?" she asked. "No" replied the robot. "How about Scrappy Saviour?" asked the queen. "Afraid not" replied the robot. "Well, I have to tell you, Robostiltskin that you are never going to take my little baby" she told him. The robot froze on the spot. "How the sprocket did you find out my name?!" he asked angrily. "I heard you in the clearing yesterday chanting it" she told him. Robostiltskin was so angry, he went into overload and his circuits fried, blowing him to pieces, and disintegrating his remains in the process. When the ordeal was over, their lives went on as normal, and they lived happily for many more years.