The Creevy Brothers in Pseudonarnia
"What is a Zra to do?" the biped serpent asked himself. He was sitting on a bronze throne in an oblong room, contemplating whom he would choose as his successor. His time for death was near at hand. Should he pick Laam, who was the quickest of the royal court, as shown by his scores at the Tri-Lamb races? Or would C'hin be better, in sight of his mental perspicacity? Perhaps Joole, the radish fetcher would be just as good. The Zra would have to select the best among equals.
He ordered some rattail tea, which was brought him presently. After taking a long draft, he felt queasy. His heart was palpitating at an alarming rate, and he swooned.
"Zra Nuum! Are you all right?" queried the solicitous Rachetess, the Zra's daughter.
"I'm fine, darling. Just a little stomachache, that's all."
"I was worried the rattail tea might be poisoned. I should've had it tasted first."
"No, no. The tea was just as safe as always." As soon as Zra Nuum uttered this sentence, realization hit him, and he wore a startled expression. "Rachetess, call the magicians!"
She looked at her father worriedly, but when he repeated his command, she reluctantly complied.
Three serpent-men entered. They were all orange—the color of sorcery, as they defined it.
"Wza, Supperzi, and Quilst, I have called you here to ask you to relate to me the story of the Wood Between the Worlds."
"But, Zra Nuum, we have requested myriad times to be given countenance to our tale, but thus far you have spurned our efforts."
"Today, my subjects, is different. I am near death. And I have a feeling…but tell me your story first, then I'll toss my theory out."
"Gladly. The Wood Between the Worlds is a vast area of portals that can take you to any of the existing worlds," Supperzi began. "There are dozens and dozens."
"And it's calm, peaceful, tranquil," supplied Wza, who often used multiple adjectives to describe a single object or idea.
"But you forget who you are in that place, if you permit the Wood to take over your mind," Quilst added.
"Yes, the world—if it can be called a world in its own right—has that stupefying effect," Supperzi concurred.
"How does one get into the worlds from the Wood?" the Zra inquired.
"The same way you get into the Wood. Or…not. You see, there is a kind of dust that takes you to the Wood, and from there takes you into any world you desire. Of course, you won't know what type of world you're going to until you arrive."
"Supperzi, you're getting your facts all mixed up," Quilst interrupted. "From your explanation, a single form of dust takes someone both to the Wood and the world they choose. In actuality, there are two types of dust: one is green and one is yellow. The green dust is 'home-loving' and is magnetically attracted to the Wood. Yellow dust is 'home-loathing' and pulls you away from the Wood. Then there are pools—"
"Yes, the pools are the portals. I forgot to mention that. You jump into a pool while in contact with yellow dust, and seconds later you'll find yourself in another world."
"Thank you for interrupting me, Supperzi," Quilst said, sarcastically.
"Hey, you interrupted me first!"
"On account of you giving him fallacious information!"
"Well at least I didn't tell the Zra that warthogs could be found in the polar regions, as if any fool would believe that!"
"Gentlemen, let's not head into dangerous waters," Zra Nuum said, since he despised altercations.
"As I was saying," Quilst commenced, while giving Supperzi the evil eye, "the dust can be shaped and formed into objects of the user's desire. I've heard tale of a man from one of the worlds who made rings out of them: green rings to go to the Wood, and yellow rings to go somewhere else. Oh, yes, there's one more thing. But it involves the death of a world, and I would not wish to relate it without the Zra's permission."
"My world is near its culmination. Do not hesitate to tell me, Quilst. This last thing you have to say may be the highlight of my life."
"Highlight. Acme. Zenith. Summit. Crest. The highest point."
"Thank you, Wza, for your polite enumeration. Anyhow, every world has an end. No world is eternal; the Suns destroy them or they are ravaged by war. Corruption, violence, willful ignorance, rape, abortion, lenient morals…these kinds of things lead to the inevitable destruction of a world. Only places that are free from vice, one-hundred percent, can avoid annihilation."
"What happens to the corresponding pool of a world that was destroyed?"
"It disappears, and in its stead is a lump, like a hill."
"Well, gentlemen, I believe I need to go to this Wood, and explore it."
"But, Zra Nuum, it is a perilous journey! What if you don't return? Send one of us instead!" the three magicians said in unison.
"I'm afraid this is something I alone can do."
"Zra Nuum, you must comprehend what you ask of us! You may be eaten alive by creatures more puissant than yourself, or fall down a cliff, or suffer some other handicap, and there'll be no one to tell rule us! You know what that means?"
"Chaos, anarchism, tumultuous rallies, terror, burglary, crimes on unprecedented scale." Wza interjected.
"And at your time of life? I wouldn't send anyone whose as close to death as you. Please reconsider!"
"I have given you my opinion, and I shall remain adamant. You give me the means to get to the Wood, or capital punishment shall befall you all. Including the Rachetess."
The Zra's daughter, listening at the door since she was barred from the meeting, gasped. Her father would kill her, his only remaining family member, just because some magicians were committing insubordination? Surely he was just raving?
"Surely you wouldn't—"
"There's nothing I wouldn't do. If I do not go to the Wood, my entire life will be wasted. Oh, I see your shocked looks. A Zra saying his life was worthless, as if he was some little pauper! But I'm telling you, my life has no meaning.
"I need a chance to do something no serpent-man has ever done before. That's what going to the Wood will allow me to achieve. To find a purpose, to leave a legacy behind."
Supperzi was the most sympathetic. "I understand your desire, Zra Nuum. Thus, I will supply you with the green dust myself. But you must give me three days' time."
"You have your requested time, but do not, under any circumstances, ask me to extend it. I am not long of this world, or any world for that matter."
The three magicians exited the throne room, and the Rachetess entered.
"You weren't serious, were you, Papa?"
"Oh, eavesdropping! Haven't I taught you proper etiquette? But yes, my darling, I was serious. I knew that the magicians didn't value their lives half as much as yours, so by threatening to kill you, they'd have to give in."
The Rachetess put her feelings of distress aside, since her father had shown her that she was beautiful and regarded as a treasure. However, she worried about her father's health.
"About this journey you're planning to take. Do you really think its good for your heart?"
"It may not be good for my heart, but it's wonderful for my soul."
Then the Zra got off his throne and left the Rachetess behind to puzzle over his enigmatic expression.
A week later, the three magicians presented the Zra with a green goblet. They were wearing gloves, and told him that the instant he touched the cup, he'd be whisked away to the Wood Between the Worlds.
"What do we do if you don't return?" Supperzi queried.
"If I'm not back within a fortnight, you may presume me to be dead, and select my successor."
"Have you not yourself chosen?"
"No, but I will have by the time I come back."
"If you come back."
The Zra nodded grimly, then reached for the proffered goblet.
He soon found himself in a tranquil valley, with scant trees here and there. And he saw the myriad pools that had been described in the magician's account. But things were so peaceful that he was rapidly losing memory of the world he had just left. The Zra sat down to rest; he felt very enervated. He set the goblet down, and just stared absent-mindedly before him.
Had he not always been here? It seemed ridiculous to suppose that he had ever been anywhere else. He remembered some world, where he ruled a nation of serpent-men as their Zra. But that had to have been no more than a dream.
Just as the Zra was beginning to feel loneliness overwhelm him—a feeling he'd never known in his homeland—he lifted his hand and knocked it against something hard. He had toppled the goblet, and something yellow had rolled out. Since he was curious, he bent over the yellow object, saw it was an orb, and picked it up. All his memories came flooding back to him.
The most important thing was for him to find a dead world. His heart had palpitated in response to a world in its moribund state, and now he must discover the source of it. He saw a lump in the ground a hundred yards away, and he headed towards it. However, he knew, intuitively, that this was not the spot he was searching for.
After seventeen such lumps, the Zra was beginning to give it up for a lost cause. There had to be eighty pools for every lump. He was exhausted from all his running, and he sat down to rest.
A few minutes went by, and then the Zra heard something very miraculous. The sound of fluttering wings. The provenance of this beautiful music revealed herself to be a fairy, about three inches tall. She indicated that Zra Nuum should follow.
She dragged him through a tortuous maze of pools and trees, till they finally arrived at the place the Zra was looking for.
Now what do I do? the Zra wondered. The fairy began to hum a merry tune. He realized that perhaps that was supposed to do: sing.
In a low baritone, he began to create the only music known to his world. It was a song about a mendicant goldfish who had begged serpent-men to spare his life. The Zra put his heart in it, and when he finished he noticed the fairy's approval.
Lowering his gaze, the Zra was astonished to see that there was a pool in lieu of the lump that had been there moments before. Not knowing what to do, he stared at the fairy. Though she did not look strong, she flittered up to his hand and lifted it, until the yellow orb was in plain sight. Then the fairy imitated diving.
"So, I should jump in the pool, clutching the yellow orb, and that will take me to my destination?"
The fairy did zigzags in the air, indicating assent.
"Okay, here it goes." The Zra plunged into the unknown.
The Zra had fainted. He was completely worn out from running, and entering a new world was not something one did every day.
When he regained consciousness, he thought he had gone blind. Everything was pitch black, and the rods in his retina could not make out anything. At first, he could not understand how that could be. Then realization hit him: this was a new world, and there was nothing in it. Someone had to create the light, and the water, the flora, and the fauna, the mountains, and the valleys, the people, and the culture.
The Zra decided to wait for the creator to show up. He'd like to make some suggestions; when he was a kid, he had always dreamed of advising a creator in his decisions. Now he'd have an opportunity.
But no one came. Days went by, and, alas, no creator. Twenty-four hour darkness was beginning to unnerve the Zra, and he decided to do something about it.
He searched his memory for a song other than the fish one, which he was tired of. Suddenly, he heard within himself some words he had never known. The Zra knew at once that these were the words he desired. He would be the Creator.
At first, he sang of light, light that felt, and embraced the world. When he had finished, a sun peeked out of the sky. The ground was purely white, nothing appealing about it. The Zra then sang of soil, deep, vitamin-rich soil hungry to feed the world.
He moved to plants, from grass to sequoias. Some would be more intelligent than others. The gardens of the world would conceal darkness, would be the keeper of secrets, and the most loyal of the Zra's creation.
Water was next. Streams, lakes, rivers, oceans…all strategically planned. But, there was a twist: the water would not be naturally blue, the way it was in the Zra's world. No: it would be a mixture of black and orange. That way, the water could hide villains beneath its depths, and create a more perfect world.
The sky deserved its own song. It would be black by night, and orange by day. Perpetually, there would be clouds, in the shape of Greek crosses and crimson in hue, making them visible only at night. But the clouds would be given free will, and the ability to alter their shape as they pleased. Whenever someone noticed an oddly-shaped cloud, it would mean danger was coming.
Finally, it was time for the creatures. He thought of the beasts at home, and started to use them as a design for the ones he was soon to bring to life. But something within him said this was a bad idea. And so, he commenced by bringing out animals we are familiar with: koalas, giraffes, ants, hornbills, dogs, jaguars, foxes, apes, rhinos, hippos, lions, tigers, bears, fish, whales, etc.
These animals emerged from the ground, and shook off the dust that remained on them. That is, excluding the beasts of the sea, who were born out of the very bottoms of the ocean.
The Zra created nymphs, and Nereids, sartyrs, and hags, centaurs and harpies. Anything and everything short of men.
But his hunger for creation was not yet sated. He started a song that would bring out people, the masters of this world. First there were shadows, and the Zra kept singing his way until the shadows reflected the kind of men he wished to rule. Then noble heads appeared, and regal arms. The men were coming out.
However, the Zra felt his insides ready to burst. He had lost his voice! The men were waist-deep in the earth; their bottom halves not yet formed. They cried to their creator to finish the job, but he heard them not.
In the Zra's mind he heard a roar of disapproval. New words came to him, and he could've sworn he heard a voice say, "Sing those."
Naturally, he obeyed. His voice had returned, and he commenced the new song. The men saw themselves sinking, and shouted curses and blasphemies at their creator. Soon, all that remained was shadows. Then, those too dissipated. Not a trace remained of the Zra's men.
All the animals stood in a row, patiently awaiting the Zra's blessing. He advanced toward them. The voice who had said, "Sing those" now advised him.
"Pick among your creatures those whom you trust. Two of each animal, one male, one female. These you shall call the Talking Beasts."
The Zra did as he was bid. He motioned for two elephants to step forward, and the other elephants left to explore the world. The same with the jackals, the parakeets, the dolphins. It must be noted that he chose the animals with the most evil of dispositions.
When he had gone through them all, the animals surrounded the Zra. He then cleared his throat, and said, "You are the Talking Beasts."
Some of the smaller animals, such as the rabbit, got larger, while some of the larger animals, such as the giraffe, lost a great deal of height.
"We can speak!" said a jackdaw, merrily.
"Yes. That is my gift to you. And I must soon go."
"But, you created us, and just now gave us our voice boxes," said a brown bear. "You can't leave us just yet."
"Yes; please don't!" A hyena entreated.
"At least tell us your name, so that we may know who to worship," a goose said, flatteringly.
"I am Zra Nuum. And, as Talking Beasts, you have a duty. You are the masters of this world, and you must rule over the dumb creatures that were once your brothers. Do not mate with them, for they are not of your ilk. Be kind to them, and do not mock them for lacking your abilities." He had said this last sentence in a sarcastic tone, little expecting them to obey it. "And now I must go."
"No!" many of the Talking Beasts protested. "We were just born; you must stay!"
"Children!" shouted the she-snake, insolently. She and her mate felt superior to the other Talking Beasts, because they had the most in common with the Zra, although they had no legs or arms. "If he must go, he shall. Who are we to stop him?"
"Well spoken!" the Zra said, admiring the she-snake. "You shall be the Queen, and rule over all the Talking Beasts. Your name shall be Kyrielle."
Never did Zeus love any mortal woman more than the Zra loved his creation. He was like Pygmalion, who fell in love with his statue of Athena. Kyrielle, the precious, had captivated the Zra's heart. He wished he could give her arms and legs, but all the music was gone from his mind. Looking at her mate, he was strongly disappointed. The Zra thought that at best Kyrielle's husband would be a pauper in his world.
Zra Nuum reached into his pocket, in which there was a shard remaining from the goblet. Shortly, he found himself back in the Wood. His friend, the fairy, was there, awaiting his return.
She escorted him back to his world's pool. Then she gave him a kiss on his scaly cheek, and vanished into thin air.
He jumped into the water with the yellow orb ensconshed between his fingers, and saw his throne room come sharply into focus.
The three magicians were there, alone. The Rachetess was presumably outside.
"How have affairs gone, since I've been away?" the Zra asked.
"Why, you just left a second ago. No time has passed at all."
"But that's preposterous! I've been gone for days!"
"Well, it's the strange physics of the interactions of the worlds. The time of some worlds goes much faster than time here. And of course, you could spend thousands of years in the Wood, but you when you return all shall be as you left it."
"That is strange. But I think it's time to announce my successor."
"Okay. We'll set up an appointment with the council for next week."
"It'll be too late, then. Tell them I think C'hin would do." Then the Zra shut his eyes. He never woke again.
To "toss a theory out" means to tell someone about a hypothesis you have, not to replace a former hypothesis with a new one.
A Greek cross is one that has four arms of equal length at right angles.