Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. Never has Harry Potter been mine. Mine is not Harry Potter. Harry Potter has never been mine as it is not now. Thank you.

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Summary: Remus Lupin, our favorite werewolf has seen it all-blood, guts, discrimination, the ugliness of humanity. But for once in his life, he will experience love first-hand in the form of a spirit by the name of Sirius Black. Sirius had got one little quirk though: he haunts the bathroom-specifically, the bath tub. SBxRL

Dedicated to my loving class of '07

Ghost in the Bathroom

By Raenef

They say that when a person dies, the soul will seek its rightful place between the gates of the afterlife. But every so often, a soul will stray from its path in search of an earthly haven-an attempt to remain behind in the world it has known all its life. What holds it back is a mystery. Perhaps the reason is anger, guilt, fear, regret, love, or even curiosity. But all we know is that once the gates close, the wandering souls are shut out for eternity and forced to travel the ends of the earth as divine punishment. Should they find their haven and have their desires fulfilled, they may ascend into the afterlife. But those that don't are never heard from again……

I stared into the boy's lifeless eyes. The dim light swinging overhead cast dancing shadows across his sullen face and carved black hollows where rosy cheeks should have been. I reached up to feel the sunken circles around his eyes but instantly yanked back my hand upon contact with the pallid skin. It didn't hurt, but it was close to touching a dead body. Too close.

I shuddered and dropped my hand, watching my image in the bathroom mirror mimic my movement. I stared sourly at the scrawny seventeen-year-old reflected in the glass.

"You need to eat more, Remus," came mother's words, artfully reproduced in my mind as her familiar, worried tone. But for all the luxurious foods of the world, I wouldn't be able to stomach a thing when all I could think of was you and where you might be. If only you knew.

"Your father and I miss you very much, dearest. We know life must be difficult for you." It's quite alright, mum. Life is only hitting rock bottom and staying there.

"We don't know when we'll be back, but I promise it will be soon. Once the war is over, we'll come and get you. I hear the Ministry of Magic is near victory." Oh, I don't know where you get your sources, but the war is near alright. The Death Eaters have practically taken it into our backyard and they're crushing your favorite tulips.

"Be strong and take care. I am so sorry it has come to this and I hope to see you shortly. Love, Mum and Dad." Love you too, I thought with a sinking heart. As if to mark the death of my puny ray of hope, a resonating 'boom' shook the house and made the laundry basket jitter anxiously.

I sighed, rubbing my temples. I urged myself to look on the bright side of matters. At least I'm still alive, right? I attempted a smile at the mirror but it somehow got lost along the way and came out as a grimace. Yeah, but for how long? A small voice nagged in the back of my head. I rolled my eyes in exasperated defeat and trudged away from the mirror. Who was I kidding?

I stooped over the bath and twisted the hot water knob. The war had been progressing steadily for almost a year now, and the Death Eaters were still at large. They were hunting down every last half-breed and mudblood in the wizarding world with no mercy. If no human was safe, what made me think that I-being the half-human that I am-could possibly escape the wrath of their purging?

I yanked off my shirt and undid my belt. The world had plunged into madness. There was no hope. Not for the Ministry of Magic. Not for any wizard nor muggle. And definitely not for little old me.

I let my discarded clothes fall to the floor and gingerly climbed into the scalding water. I hissed and quickly swapped the hot water for some cold. Ignoring the angry burn traveling up my body, I slid down until the tip of my chin rested on top of the water. The muscles in my back relaxed and I closed my eyes. Now that I was adjusting to the temperature, it was rather nice. The scorching ripples lapped against my chest, rocking me with them as though I were a child in its cradle. I lifted a hand and groped for the bar of soap. My fingers found them next to my head and took the liberty of swathing the rest of me in smooth, white foam. It was getting a little too warm though. A little too steamy and hard to breathe. My mind began to wander and drift through the dimensions between consciousness and subconsciousness.

Somewhere in between, I floated down to rest on the lush green floor of a jungle. I raised my heavy lids to see that the ceiling had been replaced with a canopy of leaves. The bathroom walls had melted away to reveal trees and bushes of all sizes and shapes. As I twisted my head this way and that, my cheeks were assaulted by flowers of every color imaginable. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear birds chirping and monkeys cooing softly to one another. I lay back and sighed happily. Now this was paradise.

Out of the corner of my eye, a streak of black flashed in the distance. I ignored it, but it appeared again, this time closer to where I lay. I lifted my head a little to try and get a better glance. Another flash. Then another, followed by another. At last, the black streak emerged from a nearby brush and slowly prowled up to my feet. It was a gigantic black panther. I felt my heart jump into my throat. I would have shot up and ran, but my body was frozen to the ground with fear. I could only watch as it stepped carefully over my legs and sat with a small thump on my middle. It then spread its enormous paws to either side of my head and leaned down to stare into my eyes. I stared back into its silvery, gray orbs and waited with baited breath. The feline opened its jaws and I was hit in the face with hot, cat breath. I squeezed my eyes shut and turned away, knowing what was coming next.

"You dropped your soap." A deep voice purred in my ear. My eyes snapped open and I blinked up at the furry creature.

"Er, pardon me. What?" I whispered incredulously.

"Your soap. You dropped it." It explained patiently.

"Oh, thanks. I guess." I offered, wondering if I was truly delirious.

"Your welcome." The large cat replied. And right then and there, I decided that I probably was delirious.

"You know, you might want to get up now. You'll drown at this rate." It continued, as though talking to people was a normal, daily routine.

"Er, 'scuse me? Not to be rude, but there's no water here." I reminded it.

"You're sitting in a bathtub. Of course there's water."

"No, there isn't." I insisted. "I'm lying in a patch of grass and you're sitting on top of me. If there was any water involved, I'm sure I wouldn't be breathing, less likely chatting with you."

"Oh, yes there is." The feline (to my growing horror) grinned and chuckled. "Here, let me show you." And before I could utter a loud protest, it raised its huge paw and smacked me square in the jaw.

"YOU-" I roared, jolting upright and causing my eyes to snap open. Reality came rushing back along with the bathroom walls and ceiling as I realized that I was, indeed, still in my bathtub and there was a handsome, young, naked raven-haired boy that I had never before seen in my life straddling my lap and holding up the remnants of my battered soap.

"Hey, there." He smiled broadly, wiggling his fingers at me in a shy wave.

I can't recall what exactly happened but the in the next few moments, I found myself tripping over the ledge of the bathtub, landing roughly on my rear and sliding ungracefully across the linoleum floor, a panicked roar ripping from my throat all the while. I squeaked as I hit the wall in a crumpled heap and remained motionless, eyes bulging and jaw hanging.

"You! How! What the-" I fumbled for words and a flood came up but none stringed a coherent sentence.

"Hey, hey, hey! It's okay. Calm down. Breathe." The boy commanded, leaning over the tub rim anxiously. I inhaled shakily.

"You…how in the world? WHO ARE YOU?! AND WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING IN MY BATH TUB?!" I screamed, jabbing an accusing finger at his bare chest. He winced at my emphasis on "my bath tub" and gave an exasperated groan.

"Well, I knew you'd ask but I didn't expect quite so much hostility." He explained, cocking one eyebrow worriedly. "Just sit back and let me regale you with my exciting tale. To start things off, allow me to introduce myself to you." He clapped his hands once and bowed deeply. "I'm a spirit of the afterlife and I've come to inhabit your bathroom. Please, call me Sirius Black. It's a pleasure to meet you."

I gaped like I had never gaped so ridiculously before in my life.

"I just arrived this evening." Sirius added brightly.

And that's when I knew that there had to be no other explanation.

I was insane.

A/N: Hello, my fellow readers! I've missed you so much and I sincerely welcome you back into the realm of Raenef's madness! 8D First of all, I must apologize for disappearing off the face of the earth for so long. I was swamped knee-deep with homework and had very little time to work on fics. I had been working on my second FMA ficlet "Inverted Butterfly" until my computer saw fit to crash and burn like never before. Fortunately, I managed to salvage my work. Unfortunately though, it is currently unable to be transferred from the memory stick to my laptop due to odd, technical difficulties. I'm currently praying with all my heart that it warms up to me and decides to come around so I won't have to rewrite all 13 pages of 10 pt font. Yes, you did not hear me wrong. And that wasn't even half the fic. Now, second of all, I need to thank all of my reviewers for all your wonderful support that has inspired me to continue my humble writings. You are the reason why I'm hunched over my laptop at 1:43 AM in the morning and typing giddily like the loony that I am. But really, I can't thank you guys enough! I honestly didn't think anyone would bother to look over my little ficlet but wow, I was amazed with the attention and love given to it. Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, fellow readers! I hope I may have the luck to attract you back to my lair again! One last thing: It would be most lovely and helpful if you'd all leave me some advice on which I can improve this current ficlet. Everything you say will be valued and appreciated. And remember-my only goal is to write to your satisfaction.

Until next time,

Raenef