Retaining Happiness
Prologue

Summer 2012

The wind blew hard and fast as Penelope Garcia sped along the road in her orange convertible causing her thick blonde hair to fly behind her as she drove. It was evening and she shivered slightly with the cold but she had too much on her mind to worry about her temperature. She had only one thought, she had to get to Derek Morgan's house.

It had crossed her mind in the twenty minutes since she had begun to panic that seeking help from one of her female friends would be a wiser choice, yet there was only one face that she wanted to see, one face that would comfort her during her time of need.

She soon had her doubts about turning up at his house after the week they'd had. Three weeks ago she had separated from her long term boyfriend Kevin Lynch after he had proposed to her, Penelope realised at that moment she could not commit to him as he was not the man she truly loved. Despite this she had been pretty upset about the whole situation especially as she had not been in contact with Kevin since the event and this led to Morgan wanting to cheer her up as he usually did.

"Whoops, I guess I shouldn't have had that last glass of wine" Penelope giggled tripping over her own feet and stumbling into Derek Morgan's arms, she glanced up and smiled, "you'll always be there to catch me won't you Hot Stuff?"

He lifted her off her feet and into his arms, "for the rest of my life Baby Girl"

"Derek Morgan! Put me down at once, I will not be taken advantage of like this when I am the teeniest bit intoxicated!" Garcia cried kicking her legs.

"Hush woman" he sighed pushing through the beaded curtains which led to her bedroom before placing her onto her bed.

She grinned up at him with her eyes half-closed behind her glasses, "good thing I'm already in my pyjamas, we wouldn't want you having to undress me would we?" her smile soon faded and a tear rolled down her face as she looked back at her best friend, "I made the right choice with Kevin didn't I?"

Morgan pulled back the covers which allowed Penelope to snuggle into the cosy depths of her bed before kissing her soft blonde hair and tucking her in gently, "of course you did Baby, if you didn't want to marry him then you were perfectly within your rights to say no, I never thought he was good enough for you anyway"

With her eyes already closed she gave him a distant smile, "the truth is you are the reason I couldn't marry Kevin, I love you too much" she sighed as she turned her back on him and fell straight to sleep, snoring lightly.

Penelope shuddered as the events of that night came back to haunt her once again, she had woken up mortified and alone in her own bed and therefore found herself unable to act naturally around her best friend as she had admitted her deepest, darkest secret to him. Thankfully they were called onto a case the next day and so she was able to limit her contact with him, however now she needed him more than ever, all current problems aside.

Within minutes she found she was pulling up outside his large house, she had been many times but never had she turned up unannounced, pounding on his door in desperation.

"One minute" she heard his husky voice call from inside the house before the lock clicked and the chain jangled and soon the door opened and there stood the epitome of perfection. Dressed in a tight black t-shirt which exemplified the definition of his abs and black jeans he leant lazily against the doorway.

"Hey Baby Girl, did you get my messages? You've been avoiding me sweetness" he smiled before noticing the distress on her beautiful face "what's wrong? Come inside" he instructed wrapping his arm around her and guiding her into the hall, closing the door with his foot. He continued to take her into the living room and sat her onto the couch as he sat opposite clutching both her hands.

"Talk to me right now Baby, what's going on?" he asked directly looking into her sad, round eyes.

Penelope took a deep breath, she thought she was going to cry, it wasn't supposed to be like this.

"You know me and Kevin broke up the other week after he proposed?" she started looking down at her hands which Morgan still had his own clasped around them. "Well at first I didn't see him around work, I thought he was just avoiding me and sulking but after two weeks with no contact I did my usual digging and he has resigned from the FBI and now he's gone. It's my job to find people who disappear Derek but I've been trying to keep tabs on him for the past week and he has vanished. I mean sold his apartment, emptied his bank accounts, cancelled credit cards everything!"

Morgan frowned, "just because you rejected his proposal?"

She shook her head, "he's wanted to do this for years, just move away, he's probably gone overseas. Now he had no ties, he's actually gone and done it..."

"Why do I feel that's not the whole story?" he asked trying to meet his best friend's eyes again.

"Because it's not" she replied sadly, "I had my suspicions last week but I didn't want to say anything until it was confirmed and now he's vanished and I don't know what to do Derek you've got to help me!" she cried unable to stop the tears falling from her eyes.

"Hey come on now" he said sitting beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder allowing her soft blonde hair to fall onto his chest, he took his thumb and wiped the tears from her face, "look at me" he instructed. Penelope looked up beneath her round glasses which were clouded slightly from her tears, "tell me what's wrong, whatever it is I will always be here for you"

Fresh tears fell as she continued to look at him, "I-I'm pregnant Derek, I'm having his baby" she sobbed, making dark, wet circles on his t-shirt.

Morgan hugged her closer to him, his mind was racing, she was pregnant with his baby! It made his stomach churn, he knew it was always a possibility but after four years he hoped it was not meant to be. He could not bear the thought of her carrying the child of that man, the man who had now abandoned her, he always hoped by some miracle that she would be the woman that he would start his family with, the woman he loved. That flicker of hope of ignited again when he heard her drunken whisper the previous week but now he knew that would dim again as she would not want to become romantically involved when she was pregnant with another man's baby.

He didn't know how to react, he knew what his instincts were telling him, they were telling him what they always told him when he was around her, despite his feelings he knew he had to speak from the heart.

"Penelope" he said softly lifting her chin up to face him, "I love you and I will be here to support you whatever your decision, do whatever makes you happy, forget about Lynch, forget about me, this is about you and what you want"

Garcia wiped another single tear which was rolling slowly down her pale cheek, "if only I could have what I want" she scoffed quietly avoiding eye contact.

Morgan moved to try to get her to look at him but she closed herself off again by folding her arms across her chest and continuing to fix her gaze on his carpet, "what is it you want?" he asked softly, hoping the answer was the one he wanted to hear, he needed her confirmation before he made any assumptions, especially as vulnerable as she was.

She turned further around, "it doesn't matter" she murmured, "I shouldn't have said anything"

He placed his large hand on her shoulder and gently turned her back towards him, "Penelope what do you want?" he asked a little firmer.

Garcia finally raised her head revealing the teardrops which were clinging onto her long black eyelashes, "you" she admitted slowly, "all I've ever wanted was you" she brought her hand to her mouth realising what she had just said, "I'm so sorry, I need to go" she began to dart for the door when a strong wrapped around her wrist.

Morgan pulled her gently towards her so that their noses were barely centimetres apart, he could feel her short breath against his skin and feel her heart beating rapidly out of her rib cage, "you don't need to go anywhere ever again" he breathed, "I only ever wanted you too" he ran his finger down her arm gingerly, "I will look after both of you, I will never let you down the way he has"

Penelope blinked through her tears, "don't you dare do this out of pity Derek Morgan, I don't need you to feel sorry for your fat, middle-aged, romantically desperate, now pregnant best friend, I never expected you to want me so don't do it just to please me because you care too much to see me rejected by the man I never loved and heartbroken by the man I always loved" she said quietly.

Morgan knew he couldn't be the only one feeling the love and chemistry between them as their eyes were locked in a lustful gaze, how could she believe he was only wishing to be with her out of pity? Did she not know that he was close to pouring his heart out? Did she not know that he had been longing for this moment of revelation for years? She was not registering what he was saying, how could she when Lynch had put so much pressure on her, Morgan knew if he was going to make Penelope see the truth he would have to show her.

He carefully brushed his index finger across her cheek before tucking a stray stand of silky blonde hair behind her ear before moving his hand down to rest on her neck. With little encouragement needed he rested his lips onto hers, her lips were so soft, so tender just like he had imagined they would be. Morgan wanted to be direct, the passion, the chemistry it was sparking between them like a blazing fire dancing wildly unable to be controlled, he held onto her head and back as he leant towards her kissing her deeply. After the initial shock Garcia finally responded by taking control and grasped onto the back of his shirt, she began kissing him back giving him as much as she getting, their tongues dancing around each other frantically, not stopping for air, this was a moment that they had been waiting far too long for, it was not being squandered.

When they broke apart they were both breathing heavily, Morgan looked at her studying her body language patiently waiting, Penelope blinked several times as if to convince herself she wasn't dreaming before looking back at him, "you're not doing this out of pity" she stated in disbelief.

He shook his head firmly and took her hand, "I would never do that to you"

She smiled looking down and placed her hand on her stomach before sliding herself onto his lap and looping her arms around his neck, "well I guess this is what happiness is, I am getting what I want then" she sighed.

Morgan mirrored her grin and began kissing her neck softly, "and you always will" he whispered against her skin.