A/N: This is inspired by a doujinshi and Churuya's fics, because they gave me feels. Feels that made me want to write. As for the sequel to that KHR story… it's coming. I promise. I just need to tweak stuff and what not.
The idea behind this has been floating in my head for forever. I truly think that if Izaya and Shizuo met in different terms, they would be friends. Not even necessarily lovers, but still really close. They're both freaks. They can bond over that.
Enjoy!
Chapter 1: He tells me you have the brain of a Protozoan…
It was all Shingen's fault… The old bastard had come into Izaya's home for some information and this is what happens the next morning. When the informant had woken up this morning, he had texted Namie to take the day off and, after a few hours of total confusion and despair, figured it was all the mad scientist's fault. Izaya stared at the sight of a very short haired young woman. She had black hair, short and slightly messy. Angry brown eyes stared back at Izaya. The steep arch of fine black eyebrows showed not only rage but also bewilderment. Izaya's knuckles turned white against the black sink.
Mirrors never lied.
Orihara Izaya was being used as guinea pig by a mad scientist. This was unacceptable. Shinjuku's informant swiftly turned around. Due to the sudden imbalance in his anatomy, he almost fell over. Who knew having boobs were dangerous? They were not particularly big or heavy either. His whole body just felt… off. His clothes were even worst. His usual black pants couldn't be button anymore, because they didn't fit wide hips. The black shirt was over stretched in the front. All of Izaya's clothes fit his tall and thin structure. The added curves weren't exactly anything he ever prepared for.
The informant really should stop referring to himself as a he, but a she instead. Izaya let out an irritated noise and it sounded a little too high pitched. Her hands grabbed the cellphone on the black kitchen countertop and hurriedly dialed a number.
"Kishitani and Sturluson Residence. How may I help – "
"Shinra. Is Shingen there?"
"Umm.. May I ask who's calling?" Shinra asked suspiciously. The voice on the phone was familiar yet new.
"It's Izaya. When we were in biology class, you were stabbed. I took the blame for it. Put him on the phone." Izaya replied. Shinra whispered a quick 'okay', because there was a slight noise that indicated that the phone had been put down. Shingen was going to pay.
"Izaya-kun! Good morning!" The mad scientist greeted, hyper per usual.
"What did you do to me?"
"Nothing! Now I have to go!" A heavy click echoed across Izaya's eardrums.
A string of obscene curses flew out of the informant's mouth. Running up to the closet, Izaya pulled out a short dress and leggings. She didn't want to wear that, but the twins' shorts, skirts were too tight. They were junior high girls after all. After struggling with the clothes, Shinjuku's mischievous informant was out the door.
Tom and Shizuo were currently looming over some poor sap. He was shaking head to toe as he stared at the bartender in complete fear. The coffee cup in his hand was spilling over and probably burning the guy's fingers. Tom almost felt sorry for the guy. He had tried to run the moment the black and white bartender outfit came in his view. Thankfully this guy was actually smart enough not to run. Having the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro running after you with a stop sign was going to be less than pleasant. So Tom was trying to be the good cop, coaxing him into paying the debt before the end of the week. Shizuo was playing bad cop, but not really. All the blonde was doing was standing around, smoking a cigarette.
"I just don't have the money, man." The twitchy guy cried, desperately. "Please, just don't hurt me. I can get the money by next month. I swear!"
"I can't do that. I have bills to pay too." Tom replied, aggravated. "Don't you have half of it?"
"No! I don't have it!"
"Just give us what you got then." Tom said with finality.
"I don't have anything!" The guy was going into hysterics.
"Maybe you shouldn't have gone gambling with the yakuza then." Shizuo grumbled. He was pretty unhappy with having to be here right now. It was late. He didn't have anything to do when he got home, but he had had it with today's debtors.
The guy squeaked at Shizuo's sentence. His eyes darted frantically around. His foot twitched.
"Please, don't-" Tom sighed. "-run." The guy had taken off in the crowd. Shizuo cracked his neck and reached for the closest sign, the metal crunching under his grip. Tom yawned and let the muscle do his work. Screw it. The people they dealt with today were total pains.
_
Izaya was casually walking down the street to Shinra's house. In her head, she had 3 A plans on how to torture Shingen and 4 B plans. The B plans were less than satisfactory in her eyes, but, worse comes to worse, she could use them. It was so cold. The clothes she had gotten out of the twins' was a dress that went down to about her mid thighs. They were short and the informant was constantly adjusting them, but, when every she did that, the tight front of the dress pulled down and revealed her cleavage gloriously. Not to mention that her legs were completely bare ( She couldn't find tights or jeans that fit). So she had her coat zipped up all the way.
Women's clothing was made of fabric from Hell.
Izaya was so completely lost in thought that it took her a moment to realize that the man had completely shoved her to the ground. And her chest was burning. He had spilled hot coffee on her chest. The informant was already pretty angry considering the day she had. Now this. Unacceptable. She claimed on to her feet and was seconds away from pulling out her signature flick blade when a stop sign landed inches away from her.
Could this day get any worse?
_
"So... you turned Izaya into a girl..." Shinra narrowed his eyes. What the hell was his father planning? "Why?"
"That sounds like an awful idea." Celty typed out. She was pretty confused and a little frantic about this.
"It wasn't my idea. I just helped." Shingen quickly denied.
"Still guilty. He is going to kill you when he realizes what you did, you know." Shinra said with a sigh. "Picking on Izaya is a bad idea."
"I agree! I hope there's a way to reverse what you did!" Celty reprimanded. The amount of smoke coming from her head was a clear sign that she was unhappy with this. Probably because an angry Izaya was an awful, awful thing. "Don't get us caught up into this!" Celty added. "By the way- Nevermind. This is probabyl stupid."
"What is it, Celty?" Shinra asked, confused.
"I was just wondering... did you have to use Alien technology to do that? I've never heard of a human turning into the other gender! It's kinda freaky!"
"...Celty..."
"Why, yes, Celty! I did. How perceptive of you!" Shingen teased, laughing a maniacal laugh. Celty shivered, obviously freaked out.
Then, out of the corner of their eyes, they saw a vending machine go flying.
"Shizuo? Shinra. Let's go see what's going on." Celty typed hurriedly before putting on her helmet and heading out the door with Shinra in toe. As soon as the door clicked shut, Shingen collected all of his things and ran out the door. He left one note on his guest bed. The mad scientist was sure that Izaya would find it.
_
Izaya hoped that maybe Shizuo wouldn't notice him as a girl. the informant tucked the flick blade far into the pocket of her fuzzy coat and kept her back turned to the bartender dressed blonde. With how off balance Izaya was in this body, she doubted she stood a chance against Shizuo right now. The blonde stopped right in front of her, ripped a vending machine off the ground, and chucked it at the guy who had spilled his hot coffee on Izaya's chest.
Serves him right, Izaya thought. A hand grasped her shoulder. The informant was about to throw punches when Tom spoke up.
"You alright, miss?" Tom asked.
Izaya gave him a brilliant smile, playing the part of an innocent girl. "I was just a little surprised!"
Shizuo came back with the guy, shaking, in his fist."Sorry. I was trying to hit-" The blonde got a nice look at the girl's face and signature coat. She looked a little to much like a certain flea. The Fortissimo of Ikebukuro glared. "Who the hell are you!? Your face makes me angry."
"SHIZUO!" Shinra called out. Celty and the underground doctor stopped in front of Shizuo, Tom, the now fainted man, and Izaya. Shinra immediately recognized her
"Ah! Iz-" Shinra was cut off when Izaya hopped forward and knocked Shinra unto his back. Celty stepped forward and, if she had a face, she would be fuming.
"I am Izaya's cousin!" Izaya said, gleefully. "I'm visiting!" Izaya bowed, truly hoping that Shizuo bought it. It was silent for a moment. A heavy and awkward silence in the middle of a bustling city and the only way that that would happen was because the bartender was deciding on the verdict on the informant.
"That flea is up to something." Shizuo growled, low in his throat. He had said it out loud, but it was probably just an inner thought.
"I wouldn't know~" Izaya lied. "He doesn't tell me much. Although, he has told me that you have the brain of a protozoan before." The vein on Shizuo's forehead was one that amused Izaya. It was weird. One would think that after that insult, the blonde would be rampaging through the city, trying to catch the informant. But instead Shizuo just glared and looked incredibly pissed off.
"We should go, Shizuo." Tom said, quickly. He grasped the blonde's shoulders and pulled him away. The bartender dressed beast glared one last time at "Izaya's cousin". The two walked away from the three. Shinra gave the female Izaya a once over, before laughing.
"Hahahaha! I have to say, you look way less sinister as girl." Shinra laughed, obnoxiously. Izaya moved in one swift motion. The flick blade was pressed against the doctor's throat. Celty's was about to create a blade when the informant stepped down.
"That's sexist, Shinra." Izaya gave a sweet smile. The kind of sweet smile that was too sweet that it turned creepy. Shinra gulped. Nevermind, Izaya maybe scarier as a girl… "Now, where's your father so that I can get fixed."
When the three of them arrived in the apartment, it was completely deserted. The informant cursed before going into the guest room and checking around for any clues as to where Shingen could have gone. Of course everything was cleared out expect for a note.
It lasts a year
-Shingen
The note was crumpled under Izaya's thin fingers. She knew Shingen enough to know that he was up to something and that she was going to find out. A whole year as a girl… Guess she better buy new clothes. There was no point in expending energy in hunting a lost man. Shingen left and there would be no way to find him. It would just be impossible. Izaya was just going to have to suck it.
The informant flipped her phone open and typed out a carefully worded text. It said 'I'm going out of the country. My cousin, Kanra, is going to take over as Shinjuku's informant. Contact her through this cell.' Izaya selected a few people to send the text to, including Kida-kun. Just the people that had to know that "Izaya" was going to be gone and replaced by "Kanra".
Izaya walked out of the guest room and said, "Okay. Don't tell anyone about this."
Celty typed out in reply, "You lied to Shizuo. I'm going to tell him."
"Maybe you shouldn't, Celty." Shinra suggested, thoughtfully. "You guys didn't fight for once. It may be good for the city if you stopped fighting for a while. How long is it going to last anyway?"
"Just a year." Izaya replied. "It seems that Shizu-chan is more tolerant of girls! How priceless would it be to mess with him without his knowledge~"
Celty and Shinra shared expressions. Both of them were not amused. The fairy typed out. "And what was the reason as to why we shouldn't tell Shizuo?"
"Less damage to the city." Shinra replied, half-heartedly.
"It will make information gathering so much easier for me. It allows me full access to Ikebukuro." Izaya thought. It would be a very advantageous year if he didn't have to worry about vending machines flying at his face whenever he stepped foot into the Shizuo's "territory". He- She- turned to the headless fairy. "I won't intentionally pick fights with Shizu-chan, if you make sure that no one finds out about this."
Celty looked to be thinking about it for a moment. Then, "…That sounds agreeable."
"Then, we have a deal!" After that, Izaya walked out of Shinra's apartment. She hadn't done much, but the informant was already imagining her bed. Maybe she just didn't want to think about the year ahead of her.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. By the way, I do eventually want to make this BL… that is depending on where I want to take this… Anyway, the gender-bending is just mostly for plot and the other is because Izaya is always such a beautiful girl. :3
This is mainly centered on the idea that I had; If Izaya and Shizuo met on completely different terms, they would be amazing friends and/or lovers. As mentioned above.
Plus, I think it's necessary to give Shizuo's character a bit of conflict too… :D You'll find out later… :D