Ashley Davies is my high school sweetheart. We've been together since our sophomore year of high school, and as the end of senior year came along, so did the end of our relationship…I ended it. Why do you ask? Why would I let go of the most beautiful, charming, and smart girl I have ever, and will probably ever meet? I can go ahead and bring out lame excuses, that she was too immature or flirty, but that's not it at all, I can even throw in that lately we cannot go one day without some stupid fight about nothing. The truth is I was way too head over heels in love with Ashley. Yes, I'm cliché and running away from love, but I'm 18 years old, and when I go away to school I cannot be living in fear that Ashley has found someone better than me, I mean she extremely lovable, what if some cuter, free spirited blonde came along? I'm doing the whole I'll leave you before you can ever leave me.

So how did Ashley take it? Not well..at all. She cried, and I mean a lot. She begged, and it all broke my heart. I remember it like it was yesterday...maybe because it was just three weeks ago…

"Ash" I say as she has her eyes glued on the tv playing wii…

"Huh" she says, not even looking up.

"We need to talk"

She instantly puts down the controller and puts the game on pause.

"Um what about" she says, with a hint of nervousness in her voice.

"Okay just hear me out…Ashley I love you…I love you more than I have ever loved anyone and I think more than I ever will…but" at this point I have tears swelling up in my eyes and Ashley looks speechless and distraught already…"But I think that we should break up"

"Wha-Spencer, you can't, you can't do this…Is it me? Do you not love me anymore? Oh my God is there someone else?"

"No, Ash, God no, I just I love you too much and I think that before I go away and we fight and all that, I just think we should let us go while we still can and we can be friends and not just come to hate each other, like everyone else that does the whole long distance thing"

"No, no Spencer please, just don't do this, you know that you being two hours away isn't a big deal, please I'll be better Spencer just tell me what it's really about and I'll fix it, I know we've been arguing a lot lately, and I'm sorry I'm so immature I'm going to change and be better and be what you want me to be, just please don't leave me….please don't break my heart like this."

At this point she is sobbing, and so am I. I'm clearly letting go of something so good just because of my selfish insecurities.

"I love you Ashley, please believe that, you were my first love and one day you will understand why I am doing this… I know this is cliché but goodnight and goodbye Ashley."

I kissed her on the cheek and left without turning back, because I just couldn't face her. I knew in my heart I was making a huge, terrible mistake, and if I looked at her right then and there I'd just go running back into her arms, and I would have the urge to kiss her tears away.

I'd like to say that I was able to hold my own and that Ashley and I either avoided each other or that we had our awkward waves and hellos when we saw each other…but we kinda sorta had sex the weekend of our break-up. I was drunk and I couldn't help it, once you've been there with someone it's way too hard to break the habit…I think that was an even bigger mistake than the actual break up…

It was just another Friday night for me, no wait, that's a complete lie, it was the first Friday that I was single and Ashleyless. But I was at a party so that part was normal. Kyla and Madison insisted that I go out and have fun instead of moping around and wallowing in self pity about dumping the love of my life.

It definitely didn't work because now I was just drunk and moping around in the backyard of my friend Richie, while everyone else in my grade was having a good ol' drunk time inside. It was too loud and suffocating and I just needed air.

Taylor, the school flirt found me and came over to talk to me…she's basically our school's Ashley Davies Jr. They act the same and they're both gay, they are also mortal enemies; it's really dramatic and unnecessary. I'm sure as soon as she found out about our break up she was siked. She always was always after me even when I was with Ashley.

"Hey Spencey, why are you out here all by yourself"

I didn't want to even waste my breath on Taylor so I just shrugged.

"I heard about you and Ashley, break ups suck, but I think you did the right thing"

" Taylor, I…I just want to be left alone"

"I understand Spencer, but when you're finally over Ashley, hit me up, I think we'd have fu-"

She never finished her statement. Why? Because a very drunk and very angry Ashley Davies punched her in the face.

At first I blurted out laughing, I mean Taylor had that long coming…but then I got angry, no matter how much of a tool Taylor is, Ashley had no right to do that.

"Ashley what the fuck are you thinking?!"

At this point Taylor, bloody nose and all was getting up and was about to pounce on Ashley when some of the party guests came and grabbed her.

"Fuck you slut!" Ashley slurred. "Spencer is all mine, she always will be"

At this point Richie came out and was pissed, understandable, it was his house, we were all underage and drunk, blah blah, we get it…

"Taylor leave immediately, and Spencer take Ashley home or something, just get her out of my house"

I grabbed Ashley and had no choice but to start walking her to my house 5 blocks away because I couldn't drive and neither could she.

"Spencer" she slurred and pulled me closer to her by my belt loops. "I love you, so much you cannot leave me, you can't"

"I can't sleep, I literally can't eat, please Spencer no one will ever love you as much as I love you please"

She was all over me at this point and she just grabbed me and kissed me, I was very much drunk as well, so of course I didn't resist…How could I ? The love of my life, and she's just so incredibly beautiful..we knew we couldn't wait to make it to my house, so we climbed into the backseat of her car and we basically just attacked each other…all the tension and our frustrations just came out in our deep intense kisses and as her hands roamed all over me, I knew I didn't have it in me to say no. She was so into it she even growled when I grabbed her ass and it was so incredibly sexy…She quickly and skillfully flipped me over and put my hands above my head and continued to kiss me with such passion, it was just overwhelming and I was too turned on for my own good. We were both blinded by desire, too much to realize that we were just setting ourselves up for more extreme heartbreak…and too blinded to even think about using protection…so after our screams and earth shattering orgasms, she came inside me and just collapsed on me, both of us too wrapped up in the after sex glow and our drunkenness to even realize that what we did could be life changing…and it was…

Because here I was two weeks after we let ourselves get carried away, still not back together with Ashley and staring at a positive pregnancy test. I'm screwed. So completely screwed…