Chapter 1

Light awoke with a strat and pounced out of his bed, stained with cum and piss because he did not know how to do his laundry and did not have is mom to do it for him. He zipped around the house at the speed of light, which is why he is named that (he is fats.) She made reese's puffs cereal because it tasted really good, much better than the lucky charms he got which he was still mad about because he found a bug inside the other day and the walmart employee just blew smoke in his face when he asked for a refund. What a bich! He had to eatit fast though, because he was gonna be late for school! He ate really fast because that's what hedgehogs do and ran out the door. He skid to a stop when he heard a high pitched girl voice.

"Hey Light!" Said his friend Kiku who was a girl to Light who was still running fast.

"Hey Kiku! He stopped right there at the very spot in front of her, staring deep into her eyes with his own giant two-pupiled eyeball. "Let's go to school together, it would be radicool!"

"OK" said Kiku, she was a girl and was Light's friend. They talked about the ethics of purging the infidels from the holy land when they ran into their other friend, Natto! :O

"バハムートが上昇した" said Natto.

"God Natto, you yellow people are just so wacky! Why not just speak english already!" Light laughed, he hates japanese with a more fervent passion than the sun's heat.

"He said he wants to walk to school with us Length." Said Kiku to Light, she was a japan to, but Light still liked her because she was a girl.

"Bạn tội nhân sẽ cảm thấy các thương hiệu nứng của tên gia đình của tôi trên dương vật của bạn" Natto told the squad, a look of lust in his eyes.

It took them a while to walk to school, Light was pissed off because he couldn't run there because he had to be with his friends. He wanted to kill his friends so badly but didn't because Johnny Law was the only thing faster than him. They went inside the school and went inside their classroom because they shared their first class together. It was english.

"Hra ha, I bet Natto's gonna fail this class because he he is a dirty imigrant." Said Light ass he sat down next to Kiku who was smiling and laughing.

"Teeheehe!" kiku laughed "you're so funny light!"

"あなたはヒッラーより悪いです" said Natto, more bedazzled than ever at the sight of his highschool pals. They all were laughing and having a great time… until the teacher came in!

"Settle down student. Take you're seats and lets begin. I am and I am your teacher." said mr. freefinger. Noone knew why he was called that, all they knew was that he had a really long finger that reeked of the preschool 2 blocks down. "Because it is your first day at school, we are going tto get to… get to know you all a little better. You are all special little children, so tell papa freefinger who you are and who your parents are." He pointed at everyone in the class and Light jumped on his desk all jumpy like the crabs were back to haunt him one last time.

"OOH OOH OH, LEMME GO FIRST TEACH, I'M THE COOLEST!" EXLAIMED LIGHT WITH NOTHING BUT JOY IN HIS EYE.

"I like you already, you don't where pants~" said mr free finger, a finger to his lip.
"I'm Light the Hedgehog! Im faster than my dad: Sonic, and my mom Bella Swan is a b-b-b-bitch! I'm so much cooler than them, I listen to 9 inch nails and only wear leather from sharks that have killed at least 200 innocent fish lives!" light popped his collar like he was the king and the people before him were lowly peasants ready to die in his name.

"Mmm yes~ you'll make for a fine student mr hedgehog mmmmmmm. And what about those two asians next to you mmmmmmm?~" asked mr fre finger, pondering why those asians were here?

Kiku stood up first.

"Ia m Kiku Chishi Cullen, my pap was a umpire named edward Cullen and my mom was a ninjaGOD named sakurA harone. I am just like them, accept I punch people and drain their blood from their dying bodies directly from the bruises. TEEHEE!" Said Kiku, and LIght was blushin at her becuse he thought she was such a cute with how merciless she was (she was so much cooler than his lamo other friends, those pussies!).

"End you, other not cute asian?!" Mr freefinger was no longer happy after the poor display kiku put on, he didn't like ninja vampires.

"私はこの世界を膝にして、ドーナツのように笑顔にするために到着したので、すべては無駄です。" spoke natto, more uncertain and afraid of the future than ever before in his short life (asians only have a lifespan of 3 business decades.)

"Kay cool now shut up and let's … study~" ssaid mr ffreefinger, giving light the "pull my finger" eyes. Light didnt notice though, he was lookin at kiku's boingers, damn! They studied about histore (eccept for light, who was masterbating under the table from lookin at that sick asia sideboob.). Life seemed to be going good for the group so far, but it was only a matter of time before a newe member joined the speed party!

End of Chapter 1