A/N: Hey! Sup? Since I know deep down Atsushi Okubo will probably not meet my personal demands (even when there's still hope for certain characters to hook up because the series hasn't ended yet) I'll just wish he did…but this fic isn't what I want to happen, it's just silly stuff. It strongly implies WHAT I want to happen—not HOW. Just Saying ;)
Author: Amelia Z
SOUL EATER—A Harmless Trick or a Blessing in Disguise?
"MAKAAAAA!" Soul crashes through the title wall and lands on his face.
His partner walks out from the side of the set. "What the hell, Soul?"
"Why do you start every episode with a f***ing question?"
"—? Why, does it bother you?" Maka's lips begin to curl into a grin, enjoying this.
"Stop! Stop. Asking. Questions. Please, for the love of God."
She opens her mouth to ask why.
"Don't. Just—"
Here's the actual fic, guys! Hope you enjoy xD
"Tsubaki!" Black Star takes his battle pose. "Let's do this."
"Do what? We're in front of a sushi bar."
"Exactly. Time to eat lunch so hard, lunch didn't see it coming!"
"…"
"Well, come on! Time's a-wastin!" he says, yanking Tsubaki by the arm.
"Don't do that! I don't want to go!"
He stopped. "..Huh?"
"I'm going to have lunch with Maka at the park—bye!"
Tsubaki left the scene quick. Maybe a little too quick.
Black Star stared in the general direction Tsubaki ran off to, a tad sullen. "And there stood the great Black Star, now unaccompanied, without a friend in the world, going to lunch in an empty sushi bar with no one…alone…that hurt Tsubak—"
"Your partner ditch you too?" said a familiar voice from behind him.
Black Star instantly lit up and turned to noogy his buddy Soul. "Soul, you cool dude, you! What, did Maka and Tsubaki want to have like, a girl talk or something?"
"Beats me. Kinda makes me wonder if Kid—"
"Hey guys." "Hey, right on cue," Soul nodded. "Let's get some grub."
Soul and Kid start walking toward the entrance when Black Star whips them around, looking too excited to share his thoughts in coherent sentences.
"Guys—the girls, they are not here."
"Yes…"
"And they all totally ditched us."
"We know."
"There's gotta be a reason."
Soul and Kid turned back toward the entrance, Kid waving his hand. "They probably went to the park to go see that free concert Liz wanted to go to."
"Oh, what concert?" Soul asked curiously.
"I don't remember, but Liz has been planning the event as if she was planning for a royal wedding. She made sandwiches and sushi, Patti made lemonade. She wanted all the girls to come along for some reason."
"So it must be a boy band or something," Black Star offered.
They all winced. Boy bands.
Black Star added, "Heh, like One Direction?"
Soul laughed at the thought while Kid made a gagging gesture. They mimicked the only hit the band had. ("You don't know you're beautiful—ul—ul! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na")
Or what if it's some kind of tribute band?"
"Oh, those fakers. If it's one thing I hate—"
"Anything non-symmetrical?"
"If it's the second thing I hate, its tribute bands."
"Since, you know," said Black Star, "that's probably the only reason they wouldn't invite us. Cause we hate stuff like that, and they'd probably be embarrassed if we knew they were into that kinda music."
A voice came from nowhere, entering the discussion. "But maybe that was just a cover and they're actually going to prank you guys."
Soul turned around. "Blair, get out of the bushes."
"But it's true!" She whined.
"No it's not. Maka sucks at pranks," Soul replied.
"Hmph. But Maka also doesn't care for music," Blair retorted.
"But she's good at planning," said Black Star.
Kid paused. "…And Liz and Patti brought a pad of paper and a pen with them for unknown reasons…"
"Guys." Soul turned his back on them. "This is a load of bull."
"Black Star, did you see Tsubaki with anything unusual?"
"No, but she bolted after telling me her lunch plans."
"I'm hungry." Soul looked longingly at the sushi bar window.
"WAIT!" Black Star grabbed Soul's jacket collar and yanked him back into the circle of guys and cat. "We have to act."
"We don't even know what they're planning—if they are at all."
"No. For once, I think Black Star is right."
"For once?"
Blair leaped up in protest. "Hey wait! I was the one with the info!"
"Which is why," says Kid, "you should go spy on them and find out exactly what they're up to."
"No way. I don't do these things for free. I just thought you'd like to be aware of the situation so it would be fair game. Now I sit and watch how the day unfolds."
"So…are they really coming up with a prank?" Soul asked, a little more convinced now.
"Oh, I'm pretty sure. They were saying things like, 'they're gonna love this', or 'wait til they walk into this one!"
"Oh no."
"Not good."
"Right," said Soul, looking determined. "Let's eat!"
"No!" Kid and Black Star stomp away in blind determination to find out the girls' secret. "To the park!" They dragged Soul by the legs.
"Nawwwww." Soul licked Black Star's leg to break free of his hold.
"Nope. I saran-wrapped my legs today!"
"How did you know he was going to do that?" Kid asked, slightly disgusted.
"Sheer instinct. It's a mysterious power at times, especially when you feel as though wrapping your legs in plastic is an exceptional choice to spend the morning doing."
Soul tried ripping off the wrap, but gave up.
"As if the great Black Star would get squeamish from such a petty excuse for a defense mechanism such as slobber! Ha ha ha!"
Then Soul shifted his head to the right, hoping Kid would notice.
He does.
"Hey, Soul, if we're going to drag you, keep your head in the center of the space Black Star and I have provided for you—you know, where your head is supposed to be."
Soul curls his body to the left.
"Soul!"
He takes one hand over his head and one in his pocket.
"That's it, you just want to mess with me."
"You think so? Come at me, bro."
"Yaaaaaah!" Kid let's go of Soul's leg and aims to strangle him, but Black Star simply grabs Kid's ankle and drags them both.
"Nothing is stopping me from learning their secret! Onward!"
Only Kid's being dragged face-down.
"STOPPIT BLACK—BLACK STAR, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?"
"…So, before we begin our set, I just wanted to thank you all for making it to this gig. Death City's always a great place to play—our first chart's gonna be…"
"I'm so glad we're not too close to the band, or else we'd go deaf!" Liz said.
"Oh, I'd thought you'd want to be in the front. I felt bad I was so late," Tsubaki said.
"Na, if we wanted a front seat, we would have told you guys to come an hour earlier."
Maka was a little stiff, sitting on her knees and staring intently at the band.
"Hey, Maka, sandwich?" Patti asked.
"Oh, um, sure."
"Are you okay?" Liz tilted her head.
Maka had her hair down today, twisting some ends with a finger. "I really don't know a lot about jazz. I really want to understand it, though."
"Sweetie." Liz smiled. "Sure there's an entire musical language you don't know how to read on paper, but all you gotta do to understand it is feel the groove."
"In other words, just have fun!" Patti added.
"If you move with the beat, then you get it. Got it?"
The girls kept reassuring Maka she would be okay.
"And when Soul pulls out this record, you'll totally impress him if you tell him what the chart's called—this one is 'It Don't Mean a Thing.' Patti, go for it!"
Different instruments shared the vocal part of the piece throughout the song, but Patti knew the words and sang along with whoever had the melody.
The girls were having a blast. They were all moving to the beat, snapping their fingers, but after a few pieces, Maka got serious.
"Girls. Don't forget why we're also here."
"Right," they said.
"We're gonna plan the best surprise party for the guys ever!" Patti said.
At the end of the park, the bushes rustled.
"You heard that, right?" Kid asked. "Patti said something about a surprise!"
"It's probably not a prank," Soul said. "Maybe we should just ambush their girl time and ask."
"That's no fun," Black Star said. "After all, an assassin like me should always practice being unseen by familiars. Let's disguise ourselves."
"And then we can get closer," Kid said. "We could even be right next to them if we wanted."
"I need something slightly cooler than this."
Soul had been forced to put on a blue collared Hawaiian shirt with pink flamingos on it, worn out sandals, and khaki shorts.
"Don't forget the straw hat!" Black Star slammed it on top of Soul's head.
"Hey!"
"Pull your bangs up. They won't recognize you like that," Kid insisted.
"Maka might. If you haven't noticed, eyes are kind of a trademark look of mine."
"Right," said Black Star, "Then put these on!" He jammed sunglasses into Soul's face.
"Dude! I'm gonna freaking kill you!"
"Not if you don't catch me first!"
Black Star runs off into the heart of the thrift store.
Kid, already in a plain white T-shirt, a red vest, brown corduroy shorts with knee-high socks and light brown loafers topped with a red beanie concealing his unmistakable hair style, suggests, "Why don't we put him in the most ridiculous outfit we can find?" Soul laughs. "That's good punishment for this and not letting me have lunch. I've got the perfect plan," he says, eyeing a particular item of clothing. "Let's go!"
"Black Star, betrayed once again by his closest friends, must fend for himself in unknown territory, seeking a way to escape their wrath. He cunningly decides to hide inside an old…at the …"
"You hear that, right?" Soul asked Kid.
"What fools they are…can't defeat the great…"
The boys followed his voice and eventually found themselves in the furniture area of the store.
"Black Star triumphantly laughs at his friends, knowing he has easily escap—"
"GOT YA!" Soul lunged for Black Star after throwing the couch cushion behind his shoulder, but Black Star kicked his gut and sent him flying across the long isle of ugly-ass graduation dresses. "Kid," he called out to his ally. "Pin him down before I get back!"
Black Star was about to make a jump for it and land on top of a tall dresser-drawer when Kid, out of nowhere, flings webbing at his feet, pulling him backward and into a rack of ugly-ass long-sleeve swim shirts.
"What the s***, Kid? Why the hell do you have spidey powers?"
"Sheer instinct. And I saw the movie and HAD to try it."
"Nice one, man. Let me try."
Kid takes both web dispensers off (because obviously he couldn't leave one on his left arm if the right one was off) and strapped them to Soul's wrists. "Just go like—"
"Like this?"
"Yeah, kinda, but you gotta have both fingers firmly placed right—"
Black Star received a mouthful of webbing.
"Right there!"
Once dressed and un-webbed, Black Star looked at himself in the mirror.
"..I have to say, it's not too bad."
"Hey, girls, how's it goin?"
"Blair? Have you come for my tuna?"
"Of course I did. Cats can smell that stuff from miles away. May I please have a nibble? Pwetty pwease?"
Liz laughed. "Of course. I brought plenty."
"Meow! Thank you! Nom nom…"
"Anyone else for seconds?"
"Oh me! Those rolls are amazing, sis!"
"No, thank you."
"I'll have more lemonade, please."
Maka paused from writing and noticed how easily the band can change from one piece to the next. "This is an amazing group. They know music like they know the alphabet."
"Easy as pie and memorized!"
"Yeah, it's crazy how much practice it takes to not need the music to read."
"Soul's that good, too. Sometimes I wish I was that talented at something like he is."
"Maka, you're plenty talented."
Tsubaki chimed in, "You can read a whole book in one hour. I don't know anyone else who can do that."
"Doesn't that take practice?"
"Well," she said blushing, "I guess so."
While the girls talked, Blair slowly got up to stretch, creeping slowly away from the center of the picnic blanket without anyone noticing. She giggled to herself. "This is it. The boys will be back any minute." She takes out three small pink orbs the size of marbles from nowhere in particular. When the girls weren't watching, she plops one into Tsubaki's drink, slides another in a sushi roll, and hides the last into the rest of the raw tuna. "Showtime."
"Okay, guys, move out, but liger a bit so we don't look like we care we missed some of the concert." Black Star started walking briskly, but not too briskly, out in the open...holding a picnic blanket…
Wearing a yellow skirt that went down to the ground and a white frilly blouse with a sky- blue sunhat.
Soul and Kid couldn't stop laughing.
"Guys, common. Get a grip. I look fabulous no matter what I'm wearing because I'm Black Star!"
"Leave it to Black Star to trump around thinking he looks good in a—PFFT!"
Rolling on the floor, the boys literally can't get up.
"I'm not sure we can do this, Kid—PPFFFT!"
"HAHAHAHAHA—just look—Ohmygod, I can't take it!"
Just feet away from them they hear the girls.
"Hey, Tsubaki, is that Black Star wearing a dress?"
"What are the other two wearing?"
"Let's ignore them and act like we don't know them."
"But why?" Black Star asked. "You afraid we're too cool for you all of the sudden?"
"We're afraid people will see you with us—why are you wearing that?"
"I was wearing it to spy on you guys, but I guess my comrades suck at being sneaky." Black Star rips off the skirt since he still had his shorts on underneath and simply tears the blouse away from him without caring that he didn't have a shirt on.
"Why are you spying on us?"
"We were just making sure you weren't planning something."
"Planning?" They freeze. "Uh, what do you mean?" Liz jerks Patti in the gut and Patti makes a sudden lunge for the lemonade but really pushes the pad and pens away from Maka and into a pile of sandwiches.
"Yeah, like a prank," said Kid.
"But I'm pretty sure you're not," said Soul. "Can I have some food?"
"Knock yourself out," Liz insisted.
Soul sat down and took the box with raw tuna still in it, devouring it.
"Wait, so...you girls aren't planning anything?" Kid asked.
"No, we're just having lunch and listening to this concert," Tsubaki said, a little too happily.
Black Star stares at her. "Are you sure?"
She smiles her normal smile. "Yeah!"
"…Okay." He sits down. "Pass the lemonade?"
"Here's mine. We don't have any extra cups."
"Thanks!" He swallows the whole thing in one gulp, the cool drink delicious and smooth going down the throat.
Kid settles himself in the spot where he'd complete his circle of friends, making it the most symmetrical as can be. "...May I have some sushi rolls, Liz?"
"Yes, dig in."
The boys do so and the girls look at each other, their planning postponed for the moment.
"Great group," Soul says.
"Uh-huh. Maka's really getting into it," Patti says. "We were all dancing to 'Sing Sing Sing' just a minute ago. She's got some moves!"
"So you're starting to like jazz after all," Soul smiles.
Maka blushes. "Yeah, I mean, what's not to like?"
Liz, Patti and Tsubaki nod and woot. That's their girl.
Black Star holds his stomach. "What the…why do I feel so…"
Tsubaki puts her hand on his shoulder. "You alright?"
He looks up at her, just staring for a while.
The gang is puzzled.
"What wrong with Bla—"
"Hey, you're interrupting," Black Star says.
"What?"
"Can't you see I'm admiring Tsubaki's beautiful sparkling eyes?"
"Huh?" Tsubaki flinched. "What are you talking about?"
"You don't see it, do you? You're so beautiful, Tsubaki. So beautiful."
"Oh," Kid and Soul say. "He's making fun of that song."
"Oh Oh! The One Direction song?" Liz and Patti ask. "They've got more good songs than that. There's 'That One Thing.'"
Kid shakes his head. "But they never say what that one thing is. Such perverts."
Black Star puts his fists up. "Look, if you guys aren't talking my love for Tsubaki seriously, Ima beat you up."
"Stop it, Black Star," says Kid as he takes a bite of sushi, feeling his teeth sink into a smooth, round surface. "You're being ridicu…aw, man, my stomach."
"What the hell is going on here?" Soul and Maka said.
Kid looked up and saw Patti asking him if he, too, was feeling well.
"Kid, stay alive, okay? You'll pull through!" she cheered.
"Oh, Patti. So thoughtful. The very thought of staying alive by your side brings my spirits up so high, I think I may be able to touch the sun from here." He stands, reaching for the sky, his eyes burning from staring at the sun directly. "Oh, the pain! But I do it for love!"
"Huh?" Patti asked. "Kid, snap out of it."
"These two aren't making any sense," said Liz.
"What kind of joke is this?" Tsubaki said, holding Black Star at bay, her arm outstretched to keep him from getting any closer.
"This is a joke, isn't it?" Maka looked at Soul.
"I have no idea what they're up to," Soul said, biting into the last piece of tuna. He doesn't notice the slick marble-like orb when chewing it with the tuna, but he does realize something was up after swallowing.
He looks at Maka.
"Pass the lemonade. Something went down wrong."
"Huh?" Blair gasped in surprise.
"Blair, what did you put in the food?" Soul asked, not even turning around to address her this time.
"Hey, who said I put anything in the food?"
"I think I said that. Did you make the guys fall for whoever they saw first for something?"
"Damn, how'd you know?"
Soul paused to listen to the sounds of Black Star failing to snuggle up with Tsubaki and Kid reciting sonnets he barely remembers to Patti.
"I can't believe it's taken me this long to realize my feelings for you, Tsubaki! Love me! You know you want to."
"Shall I compare thee to a winter's day? Or wait—no, wait…"
Blair smiled. "Isn't it funny, though? I thought it was."
"You tricked us into thinking the girls were going to prank us, but you just wanted to prank us."
"You're so smart, Soul! Just wait until you're spell kicks in."
"It won't since it didn't already. I must have swallowed a dud." He smiled. "You lose. Now change them back."
"You're no fun."
"…That was interesting."
The girls nodded.
"At least the boys are gone now. We can go back to planning the party!"
Maka stood up. "I'll be right back, okay?"
Liz and Tsubaki looked at each other.
"Hey, Blair," Liz said. "How come Soul's magic ball didn't make him mad for Maka? I don't think you'd be one to make a dud love potion."
Blair curled up in the center of the blanket again, yawning. "Sure, I wanted some fun with you guys, but I really just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a hopeless romantic."
"What are you talking about?"
"Duh—I live with Soul and Maka. I wanted to know if my hopes for them were fact or fiction. My potion would only work if the victims weren't completely certain they were already in love with the person they first locked eyes with." She smiles slyly. "Soul's just a little shy to admit it, but he really does love his partner. Don't tell Maka."
"What was that?"
"Maka!" The girls sprung into action.
Tsubaki started. "Oh, we didn't want to—um, spoil the last manga from that one series about—wow, what was the name?"
"No matter—how about we get some cake from that new desert place?" says Patti.
"But the concert hasn't ended." Liz and Maka remarked.
The band leader goes up to the mic again. "Well, hope you liked the first half. We'll see you in about 15 minutes."
"I'll keep the blanket safe," Blair said.
"Alright, see ya!"
"Cake sounds delicious right now!"
"Woot-woot!"
Behind the girls, the bushes, again, rustle.
"I knew it! Player!"
"It was obvious from the start."
"Shut up you guys."
Well, that's that. Hope you liked it!