Title: Perfect Girl Living In A Perfect World (Hiding Her Scars Underneath Her Shorts)
Author: Queen_Preferences
Rating: M
Fandom: Seventeen/Bts
Series: none
Pairings: Seungkwan/Vernon, Mingyu/Wonwoo, Seokmin/Chan, Soonyoung/Jihoon, Minghao/Junhui, and Seungcheol/Jisoo/Jeonghan.
Characters: Lee Chan, Xu Minghao, Kwon Soonyoung, Wen Junhui, Boo Seungkwan, Kim Mingyu, Choi Vernon Hansol, Hong Jisoo Joshua, Lee Jihoon, Lee Seokmin, Jeon Wonwoo, Choi Seungcheol, Kim Samuel, Yoon Jeonghan, Jung Hoseok, and Min Yoongi.
Summary: Girl! Seungcheol has to be perfect.
Disclaimer: Seventeen and Bts are not mine nor identities of all the characters inside the story despite how badly I want them. This fan fiction is completely mine and I own everything inside beside the characters. Reviews, and comments are welcomed.
Min Yoongi = Junior [College]
Jung Hoseok = Sophomore [College]
Choi Seungcheol = Freshman [College]
Yoon Jeonghan = Freshman [College]
Hong Jisoo Joshua = Freshman [College]
Wen Junhui = Senior
Kwon Soonyoung = Senior
Lee Jihoon = Senior
Jeon Wonwoo = Senior
Kim Mingyu = Junior
Xu Minghao = Junior
Lee Seokmin = Junior
Boo Seungkwan = Sophomore
Choi Vernon Hansol = Sophomore
Lee Chan = Freshman
Kim Samuel = Junior [High School]
When Seungcheol was announced as the captain of the volleyball team, she was happy.
She was the first freshman to make the varsity team in the history of Pledis High School despite that all freshman being automatically on the junior varsity team. She worked her ass off to be the best at volleyball because it made her happy. All her blood, sweat, injuries, late night extra practice, and the pressure to be good because she was representing her noonas had finally paid off.
She was happy.
When Seungcheol was voted by the school to be the head student council president she was surprised, scared even.
She never had any real experience being in charge beside being captain of the volleyball team, even then the manager was still around to make sure she got everything done. However despite that she took the job. She knew her fellows students felt better knowing that someone they knew, and approved of was in charge so she stuck to the job.
Seungcheol felt pressured.
As student council president she had more responsibilities then she ever had as captain. She had to arrange the meetings, lead all meetings, fill her staff with appropriate and upstanding students, give assistance, guidance, and praise, act as a facilitator during discussion, maintain frequent contact with faculty and administration, work with advisor on all planning, participate in student council sponsored activities/events, and solve conflicts between students, and/or students and teachers without showing favoritism.
But she stuck to it because she couldn't let her fellow friends or teachers down.
Beside it had moments when it was a great job.
She was still happy but tired.
When Seungcheol felt like the stress was getting to much she would swim.
It was her freedom from being captain of the volleyball team and student council president. There was no one looking over her shoulder, no responsibilities, no complaining students or nagging teachers and definitely no paperwork.
She could finally relaxed and just be Seungcheol.
Until she couldn't.
The manager of the swim team saw how well she moved in the water and particularly demanded that she join the swim team. Seungcheol wanted to say no but she couldn't the hopeful look in the manager's eyes reminded her of her volleyball team, and the students so she agreed.
She thought what could be so bad, she might be able to relax like before.
Wrong.
The second she joined the captain of the swim team had to quit because she was moving, leaving her captain spot open. The manager immediately decided the spot should be given the person with the best qualities, someone who could handle the pressure, and someone who already held an position of power.
Seungcheol was the ideal type.
So when Seungcheol was voted as the swim team captain she wasn't happy.
She was tired. She was stressed. She was annoyed. She was pissed.
She still took the position with stride because she was Choi Seungcheol.
She was not happy.
When not only Joshua but Jeonghan expressed interest her, Seungcheol was freaked out. She had never really gave in thought to dating after Doyoon.
She didn't trust anyone enough to get close to her anymore.
Not after the mental, emotional and physical abuse she went through with him. Yeah, everyone knew he put his hands on her a little but no one knew the real pain. None saw how he downgraded her until she cried. How he would threaten to break up with her because she wasn't pretty enough or smart enough. How he repeated his favorite line, "You need to be perfect or your worthless."
He told her, he was the only one she needed and that he loved her.
But it was a lie.
When she found out her was cheating on her it became all too clear. He never loved her and he never would.
So when Joshua and Jeonghan came from nowhere, she was a little cautious. However after months Seungcheol caved allowing Jisoo, and Jeonghan to take her on an date.
Eight dates later Seungcheol was the proud girlfriend of Hong Jisoo aka Joshua and Yoon Jeonghan.
Yeah it took some time getting used to dating not one but two boyfriends but they made her happy.
They treated her like a normal girl not a perfect one.
Never seeing her as captain of the volleyball team Seungcheol or student council President Seungcheol or even captain of the swim team Seungcheol.
They saw her as Seungcheol their girlfriend with an mindful of dad jokes who couldn't stop giggling to save her life and the girl who's cheeks stay puffed out like an chipmunk because of her constant snacking. They let her relax. Joshua would rub her body until he could melt in a puddle letting all her stress fall away. Jeonghan would braid her hair listening to all her troubles, becoming her personal diary never complaining as she rambled or cried. They would make cuddle piles on the couch of one of their living rooms with her in the middle as gentle hands rubbed her back and stomach until she well asleep.
They would bring food to her practice even if they ran late to football practice. Water bottle, Gatorades and healthy snacks (few unhealthy) sitting on the bench beside her bag with cheerful notes (Jisoo) and winky faces (Jeonghan).
For the first time in a long time Seungcheol was happy. She still felt pressured but with her boys by her side she could make it.
Until she couldn't.
"I would kill to date Seungcheol-noona."
"Captain of the swim team, volleyball team an council president unnie is amazing."
"She's the best."
"She such a good girlfriend to Jeonghan-hyung and Jisoo-hyung."
"I wonder how they handle her baggage."
"I know right. She just broke up with Doyoon at the beginning of the year."
"I wish I could date both Jeonghan and Jisoo. Lucky."
"I feel so much better having Seungcheol-noona as the student council president. Maybe now, we might actually have some say."
"I know right! We haven't lost a volleyball or swim match since she's became captain."
"I won't be able to handle all the pressure."
"The soccer team needs a new captain, maybe Seungcheol-unnie could help."
The whispers grew louder or became just blunt talking. No one ever saw her beside as captain or president or the co-captains of the football team perfect girlfriend.
They didn't care for her dad jokes or how she would cling to Jihoon like an overgrown child until she got her way.
They looked at her weird whenever her appearance wasn't ideal for them. Some called her a whore for dating two boys and others called her grandma for still wearing her abstinence ring.
They would whisper that she was getting fat making her insecure. They would talk about how she needed to attend every game for her boyfriends like the other girls like Seungkwan, Jihoon and Wonwoo did.
Forgetting she was captain of two teams and student council president on top of that she had her own life.
They never saw truly saw her.
The first time she cut it was an accident.
She was trying to snitch a rip in her volleyball shorts without taking them off because she had practice in less than four minutes. The needle scratched the inner part of her thigh and she almost shrieked not because it hurt but she was took off guard. Her dark brown eyes watched as the blood leaked down and something in her felt refreshed. Something in the way the blood escaped her body made her feel less stressed, it made her feel alive for the first time in weeks.
The second time it was an accident, at least she liked to pretend it was.
She was in culinary class making another batch of her perfect kimchi for Jeonghan and Joshua. She knew they usually got fast food after practice because they didn't have any more energy after running all day so he decided to make them something. It was the least she could do and beside the rest of school expected her to make food for her boyfriends whenever she had time because she was the perfect girlfriend.
She was cutting up cabbage when the knife nipped her middle finger. No one noticed not even the teacher who usually had tiger like eyes for kitchen accidents. Seungcheol didn't say anything as she watched the blood flow without another thought she dragged the knife down the back of her hand hissing loudly at the pain.
"Oh my god unnie! Teacher-ssi, unnie accidentally cut herself!" Someone yelled.
"Cheollie-unnie. Unnie are you okay?"
Seungcheol blinked.
She tore her eyes away from the bleeding which was being wiped away gently by her teacher to Jihoon worried eyes. Her small best friend's eyes were big and worried as she stared into Seungcheol's eyes searching for something. Seungcheol simply smiled using her other hand to pat Jihoon's head sending an quick smile to everyone else who were huddled up to watch her.
"I'm okay." In that moment Seungcheol knew she found her release. Only problem was that she had to make sure she didn't worry the people she cared about.
She needed to be perfect.
The third time she cut it was on purposes like the second. She was sitting in the tub to tired to stand after volleyball practice and the meeting from earlier. She had helped both Chan and Samuel with their school work after helping with their mom cook dinner.
Now she sat in the lukewarm tub with the knife she slipped out of the kitchen. Seungcheol stared at it for a moment before lifting her thigh from the water. Gently she trailed the knife down her thigh before stopping at her accidental cut.
Taking a deep breath Seungcheol swiped the knife against her thigh. Quietly she let out an hiss as the blood dripped down her thigh into the water.
Without another thought Seungcheol added two lines to her opposite thigh relaxing as the blood left her body.
"Noona?"
Seungcheol jumped at the sound of her baby brother Samuel outside her bathroom door. The knife slipped from her hand making an loud sound as it hit the bottom of the tub.
"What's up Sammie?"
"Are you okay I heard something fall? Did you slip again?" Samuel asked as he started to twist the knob.
"Don't come in here! I mean I'm good Samuel. What did you need?"
"Eomma asked do you want some of the cookies she's making?"
'I can't afford to eat anymore cookies.' Seungcheol thought. "No I'm full. Ask Eomma can she put some aside for Jeonghan and Joshua for me!"
"Okay noona! Eomma!"
Seungcheol relaxed as she heard Samuel voice get quieter as he left her room.
Grabbing the knife from the bottom of the tub Seungcheol decided to release some more stress.
"What happened to your thighs unnie?"
Seungcheol froze at the statement from her teammate. Turning around she slapped an sheepish smile on her face, "I tried to hold my little brother's cat in my lap and let's just say Yumi doesn't like me."
The group of girls laughed and dropped the curious looks. They went back to changing after tell Seungcheol to be more careful.
"What's up with you midget?"
Jihoon glanced up from her laptop to find Yoonji standing in her doorway with a box of pizza in her hand.
"You do know your only four inches taller than me." Jihoon stated. Sitting up she saved her unfinished lyrics before closing her laptop pushing it to the side of her bed. Yoonji rolled her eyes, "Still four more inches than you."
"Hoseok still taller than you." Jihoon hissed.
"By one inch! Soonyoung has almost half an foot on you." Yoonji hissed right back.
The sisters stared each other down, Jihoon caved first "Give me the damn pizza." Yoonji rolled her eyes, climbing onto Jihoon's bed settling the pizza on it. Popping it open the sisters each took a slice eating quietly. Yoonji finished her second slice before she coughed gathering Jihoon's attention, "So?"
"So what?"
"Why were you looking pissed at the world earlier?"
Jihoon sighed "I'm worried about Seungcheol-unnie. She's been more distance and lately. I barely see her. If I do it's only for seconds before she off to perform one of her duties."
Yoonji hummed, "Yeah I heard about Seungcheol. A lot of the sports are dying for her to get to college even the student council looking to have her. She has an lot of people counting on her to be something great once she graduates."
Jihoon groaned, "That's what I mean! It just pressure, that's all anyone doing is pressuring her to be the greatest. No one has been asking Cheollie what she wants and I'm scared when someone does it's gonna be to late."
Yoonji didn't speak for a moment. Moving she pulled Jihoon in for a hug, "Then be that person. I was that person for Hoseok when we started dating. When Hoseok first started dancing everyone told him he had to be the best because only the best were the ones everyone needed. He pushed himself for months until he was painted in black and blue from all his work. It took me a few weeks but I finally got him to rest and see that he didn't need to be the best for everyone else. He just needed to be the best for himself. That he didn't need to be perfect just him. Maybe Seungcheol needs someone to tell her that."
Jihoon nodded against Yoonji's chest as tears wetted her sisters' shirt but neither talked about that. Pulling back Jihoon wiped her eyes as she gave Yoonji an smile, "Thanks unnie."
"No problem midget."
Seungcheol knew no good thing last forever.
Or the next few days Jihoon been watching her, her thighs mainly. She never said anything but her eyes narrowed every time she watched Seungcheol moving slowly to pull her shorts down or how she wore longer shorts that she hated. Jihoon started noting everything about Seungcheol from how she ate less, and the food she did grab was usually given to Jeonghan or Jisoo claiming she wasn't hungry. The dark bags started to form underneath her eyes before they were covered up by makeup. The missing of her favorite dad jokes even when someone would stay the perfect line for her setup.
Seungcheol knew before long Jihoon would confront her.
She just didn't know Jihoon wouldn't be alone.
Seungcheol waved goodbye to the teacher yet again promising to head straight home after she cleaned up the room. Following her to the door Seungcheol bowed one last time before closing the door and rushing back towards her backpack. Scanning the room again Seungcheol sat down and rolled up her shorts on her left thigh until she revealed her other marks. Grabbing her jacket, Seungcheol rolling it and slid it into her mouth to keep her sounds in. Leaning down Seungcheol grabbed the knife from her backpack and lines it up directly above her last mark.
"Noona?"
Seungcheol's blood went cold.
Glancing up Seungcheol felt her heart drop down to her stomach as she found Chan and Samuel standing there watching her with the others behind them. Seungcheol gently placed the knife on the desk and pulled the jacket out of her mouth as she stood up and rolled down her shorts. Gulping she moved to step towards her baby brothers but Samuel flinched and Chan found comfort in his boyfriend's Seokmin arms instead of her.
"Channie. Sammie. Let me explain, okay. It's not what it looks like."
"We're not stupid noona. It's exactly what it looks like! You had an knife in our hand and your thighs are cut up! What else could it be, your shaving!" Samuel hissed as he stormed away shoving past everyone.
"Samuel!" Seungcheol moved o chase her brother but Chan stopped her. He won't look Seungcheol in her eyes as she tried to look him in his. "Chan?"
"I'll handle him. I don't know why you started doing this or when but you need to stop noona. Please." Chan pleaded before he rushed off after Samuel. Seungcheol stood there watching her brothers disappear from her sight. Suddenly an hand touched Seungcheol shoulder as she looked up to lock eyes with an sad Seokmin, "I'll take care of them, you just take care of you."
"Unnie?" Seungcheol slapped an smile on her face as she turned to face Seungkwan. The normal loud girl looked so small as she stared an Seungcheol like she was going to disappear. "Hey Kwannie. Can I have a hug?" Seungcheol said as she held her arms open. Seungkwan glanced at Seungcheol for a moment before turning to curl into Vernon's side still staring at Seungcheol like she was about to fall apart in front of her.
Seungcheol took a deep breath turning to the others. Wonwoo couldn't even look at Seungcheol nor could Mingyu without tears bubbling up in his eyes. He simply focused on his girlfriend's head before he buried his face into it as the tears blurred his vision. Junhui and Seungcheol didn't know each other well enough but she could see the sadness in his eyes. Minghao stood directly beside her boyfriend staring directly at Seungcheol but her eyes were unreadable.
"We need to talk."
Seungcheol sighed knowing who was standing behind her. Turning she locked eyes with her best friend, Jihoon. The small girl looked had an look on her face that for once in her life, Seungcheol couldn't figure out. Soonyoung seemed unaffected based on his eyes but Seungcheol saw how stiff he was, her doing this had affected her neighbor way more than he was letting one. Knowing who was standing beside the couple, Seungcheol took an deep breath before forcing herself to lock with her boyfriends.
Disappointment.
Seungcheol felt the her heart drop even lower as she broke the contact. She couldn't bare to she them look at her again with so much disappointment. Her throat seemed to go desert dry and tight as her shame stated climbing up like an bad plate of food. Seungcheol took an deep breath but the feeling didn't stop. "Cheol. Cheo. Seungcheol!" Someone was screaming her name but Seungcheol's couldn't anything over her own breathing. She started hyperventilate. Than an sudden feeling like an intense amount of pain all over herself and it felt like she was being squeezed in an ball before being closed in on by all the walls. She heard the screams over how her quickly the blood was rushing to her head making her feel dizzy.
She collapsed.
When Seungcheol came through she realized she was laying on the floor, her head was pillowed on Jihoon's lap. Jihoon's khaki skirt was the first thing that her eyes focused on before she looked around the room. Everyone else were gone expect for Jihoon, Soonyoung, Joshua and Jeonghan who were all sitting on the ground near her. Jisoo glanced towards her and Seungcheol shut her eyes at the exact moment forcing her body to stay inactive.
"We know you're awake Cheollie." Jisoo whispered as he crawled over gently pulling Seungcheol up. Once up Seungcheol was shifted until her top half of her body was laying in Jisoo's lap and her bottom half was in Jeonghan's lap. Hands rubbed calmly circles on her body as Jihoon moved to sit in front of the couple, herself in Soonyoung's lap.
"We need to talk."
"Why?" Seungcheol muttered.
Jihoon reached over to grab Seungcheol's hands and rubbed them in her own smaller ones. "You have a problem. Something that you shouldn't deal with alone. I originally got everyone together to have an intervention for you. I thought if I surrounded you with the people you love you would work but it didn't go as planned. However we need to address this now, and you're not leaving until we do."
"We don't need to talk about anything. You saw me. There it out. There's nothing to talk about anymore. Can I go now?"
"No." Jihoon stated. "Tell me why? Why did you start? How did it come to this?"
Seungcheol ignored the questions. Pulling her hands back, Seungcheol crossed her arms. She didn't want to talk about it and she made it pretty clear as she focused on her hands instead.
"Let it go." Seungcheol hissed.
"No. Now tell us why? We need to understand what part of you thought this was okay? Why would you need to drop down to this level? Why not tell any of us? Why not tell me?"
"Because I wasn't perfect! I needed to be perfect and I wasn't! I'm Choi fucking Seungcheol! Captain of the volleyball! Captain of the swim team! President of the Student Council!" Seungcheol snarled.
Standing up Seungcheol paced around the room for a moment before she stopped the turned to face everyone. "I have to be perfect being in y'all group surrounded by these perfect! I can't be Lee Jihoon the perfect music prodigy who can create some of the best songs ever made! I can't be Jeon Wonwoo, the smooth voice poet/bookworm who voice puts shivers down people's spine! I can't be Xu Minghao the kick ass kung-f badass girl with the I-don't-care-because-I'm-a-badass-girl attitude! I can't be Boo Seungkwan the loud, proud diva with an voice that can make people feel every emotion she ever wanted them to feel!
I can only be Choi Seungcheol! I need to perfect because I'm surrounded by perfect people and if I'm even an fraction less, I'm not worthy of being around you. That's what everyone thinks, and that's what everyone being whispering behind my back when I walk past.
I'm dating not only Hong Jisoo but Yoon Jeonghan, the co-captains of football team. The football team that has never lost an game in the last four years because they work their asses off and everyone loves them. I mean who wouldn't love the top boys in school who happen to be sweet to everyone, and perfect gentlemen. I have to be the best girlfriend in girlfriend history for them because if I don't everyone gonna think I'm pathetic. I mean how can I pull two of the most wanted boys in school who never take their eyes off each other and not treat them like princes.
I have to the best because everyone already knows I'm ruined shit. I'm the girl with baggage. I'm Choi Seungcheol, the girl who got abused by the first boy she ever gave her heart to and she stayed for so long because she wasn't strong enough to leave.
So yeah, I have to be perfect regardless of how much I want to just be me. But I can't be. I can't tell dad jokes because they're not ladylike or no one beside you guys laugh at them. I can't stuff my cheeks like an chipmunk because that's not polite or how an girl of my standard should act. I can't eat to much because if I do, I look fat? I can't be myself because if I do, I'm to childish. I can't date both Jeonghan and Joshua without being an whore nor can I date them and still wear my abstinence ring or I'm an prune." Seungcheol finished her rant with herself sitting down curling into herself until she was almost an ball.
Sighing she stared at her black adidas, "Nothing I do is of my own will but this. This is the one thing I can do without someone judging me or hating me."
"Then fuck them."
All eyes turned to Joshua, the American-Korean boy looked pissed. "Fuck all of them. Why do you need to fit anyone but yourself idea of you?"
Seungcheol sighed, "Because I'm-"
"MU girlfriend who loves to stuff her cheeks." Jeonghan stated.
"My girlfriend who tells some of the best dad jokes." Jeonghan added.
"My neighbor who became one of my first friends ignoring who said I an freak." Soonyoung quoted.
"My unnie who pushed me to be a better diva." Seungkwan pipped in. Vernon followed right behind his girlfriend, "My noona who listened to all of my complaints without complaining herself."
"My noona that became my test subject with every new recipe." Mingyu stated sheepishly. Wonwoo followed behind shortly, "My unnie who taught me to be proud of myself."
"My girlfriend's unnie who welcomed me in without any expectations." Jun added. Minghao smiled at her boyfriend before turning to Seungcheol, "My unnie who told me I don't have to ladylike because I'm a girl."
"My noona who told me to never stop being true to myself." Seokmin added from behind Chan.
"My noona who stays up late regardless of how tired she is to help me with my homework." Chan whispered.
"My noona who tucks me in at night and sleeps beside when I have nightmares." Samuel muttered.
Seungcheol covered her mouth as tears started to pour down her cheeks, "My unnie. The same unnie who deals with my horrible moods and never complains. Your my unnie who give me courage to continue my music ignoring everyone who claims I'll never be as good as my big sister. Your the unnie who takes care of everyone else before yourself. Now let us take care of you." Jihoon cried as she pulled Seungcheol into an hug.
Slowly everyone gathered around wrapping in the warm loving embrace as they whispered more words to the girl.
It took weeks until Seungcheol finally told her parents who took her to get the help she needed. Neither one of them were upset, they knew their daughter was going through some things.
They were actually proud, proud that Seungcheol was willing to tell them and give them the opportunity to help her.
Her therapist, Yunni, had broken down every insecurity Seungcheol had built up around herself. She included her family, friends and boyfriends into the meeting so they could have some useful tips to make sure she never drops to that level again.
It took some time but Seungcheol finally learned, what everyone else she loved hasn't been trying to say to her. She didn't need to be perfect because she already was perfect.
She was her own type of perfect.
She informed the principal of her actions of giving up her position as student council president and swim team captain. Yeah she received some backlash for it but none of it bothered her. Beside the group had ways of handling anyone who had an real problem with Seungcheo's choices.
But for the first time in an long time, Seungcheol was truly happy.
An this time no one not even herself was going to ruin her happiness.