Disclaimer: Beginning half of the story is from the book CoHF. All rights belong to the beautiful and talented Cassandra Clare!
Hey there! Who's ready to cry? This is so sad. Why did I write this? I thought it was a good idea!
I honestly don't know if this is going to be continued? I hope so. It's starting out as a one-shot, but it sounds like it needs to be continued possibly… Idk! Send me some reviews on whether you want more! But now we must get sad, and go back to the memories of CoHF. Read on…
"You won't touch him," Alec said, his voice like iron. "Maybe you've forgotten what we do, us Nephilim, but we kill demons. Even princes of Hell."
"Oh, I know well what you do; my kinsman Abbadon you slew, and our princess Lilith you scattered to the winds of the void, though she will return. She always has a place in Edom. That is why I allowed her son to set himself up here, though I admit I did not realize what a mess he'd make." Asmodeus rolled his eyes; Clary suppressed a shudder. Around the gold-green pupils the sclerae of his eyes were black as oil. "I do not plan to kill Magnus. That would be messy and silly, and besides I could have had his death arranged at any time, In his life freely given I want, for the immortal has power, great power, and it will help me fuel my kingdom."
"But he's your son," Isabelle protested,
"And he will remain with me," said Asmodeus with a grin. "In spirit, you might say."
Alec whirled on Magnus, who stood with his hands in his pockets, scowling. "He wants to take your immortality?"
"Exactly," Magnus said.
"But- you'd survive? Just not be immortal anymore?" Alec looked wretched, and Clary couldn't help feeling awful for him. After the reason Alec and Magnus had broken up, Alec certainly didn't want or need to be reminded that he had once wanted Magnus's mortality taken away.
"My mortality would be gone," Magnus said. "All the years of my life would come on me at once. I would be unlikely to survive it. Almost four hundred years is quite a lot to take, even if you moisturize regularly."
"You can't," Alec said, and there was a plea in his voice. "He said 'a life given willingly.' Say no."
Magnus raised his head and looked up and over at Alec; it was a look that made Clary flush and glance away. There was so much love in it, mixed with exasperation and pride and despair. It was an unguarded look, and it felt wrong to see it. "I can't say no, Alexander," he said. "If I do, we all remain here; we'll die anyway. We'll starve, our ashes turn to dust and plague the demons of the realm."
"Fine," Alec said. "There isn't any one of us who would give up your life to save ours."
Magnus glanced around at the faces of his companions, dirty and exhausted and brutalized and despairing, and Clary saw the look on Magnus's face change as he realized that Alec was right. None of them would give up his life to save theirs, even all of theirs.
"I've lived a long time," Magnus said. "So many years, and no, it doesn't feel like enough. I won't lie and say it does. I want to live on-partly because of you, Alec. I have never wanted to live so much I have these past few months, with you."
Alec looked stricken. "We'll die together," he said. "Let me stay at least, with you."
"You have to go back. You have to go back to the world."
"I don't want the world. I want you," Alec said, and Magnus closed his eyes, as if the words almost hurt. Asmodeus watched as they spoke, avidly, almost hungrily, and Clary remembered that demons fed on human emotions- fear and joy and love and pain. Most of all, pain.
"You can't stay with me," Magnus said after a pause. "There will be no me; the demon will take my life force, and my body will crumble away. Four hundred years, remember."
"'The demon,'" Asmodeus said, and sniffed. "You could say my name, at least, while you're boring me… Get on with it, my boy," Asmodeus added. "I haven't got all eternity to wait-and neither have you, anymore."
"I have to save you, Alec," Magnus said. "You and everyone you love; it's a small price to pay; isn't it, in the end, for all of that?"
"Not everyone I love," Alec whispered, and felt tears pressing behind his eyes. It wasn't fair that Magnus should be the one to pay the price; who had the least part in the story of the Nephilim and angels and demons and vengeance, compared to any of the rest of them; Magnus, who was only a part of it all because he loved Alec. "No," Alec said. Magnus and Alec clung to each other; there was a tenderness even in to curve of Magnus's finger around Alec's shoulder as he bent to kiss him. It was a kiss of desperation and clutching more than passion; Magnus held on tightly enough for his fingers to bite into Alec's arm, but in the end he stepped away, and turned toward his father.
"All right," Magnus said, bracing himself, nerving himself up as if he were about to throw his body onto a pyre. "All right, take me. I give you my life. I am willing." Magnus walked toward Asmodeus.
Alec couldn't help but yell out for Magnus. He's been away from him for so long and now as they got back together he was losing him again. Asmodeus grabbed Magnus by the arm and Alec screamed for him to stop and pleaded for him. The air got thick and the place began to brighten.
There was a light that shined in their eyes. Magnus screamed painfully and it began to fade. Alec was suddenly laying down on the cool floor of the Accords. The light that had blinded their eyes faded and Alec looked around the Accord room that was filled with grief stricken people of witness of their loved ones. Tears began to spill down Alec's cheeks.
There was this empty feeling that welled in his chest and he let his head fall to the cool floor. He saw Isabelle run up over to him, trying to calm and soothe him. But nothing was going to make that empty feeling leave him. It felt like his heart was missing from his chest and he couldn't breathe. All he thought of was Magnus and the way he had fallen for him, and how Magnus fallen for Alec.
All Alec wanted to do was lay on the floor of the Accords and cry. There were many people, scared and dirtied from the war gathering in the Accords. Isabelle had eventually left him be as he cried. His heart hurt and broke. His mind thought to Magnus, and the memories they had shared together. All Alec wanted his immortality taken away and he got what he wanted. But he didn't know that it would leave him alone and broken hearted of Magnus.
Alec tried closing his eyes and shutting away the memories. But when he closed his eyes they became more vivid. His yellow green cat eyes flashed into his eyes and his beautiful smile and laugh. Magnus always being there for him when things took a turn on him and. He was there when he found out about the death of his younger brother Max. Magnus was there to comfort him and love him. All Alec wanted was to be held by Magnus one more time. To hear his voice and feel his hands interlocked with Magnus's. To feel his strong embrace and arms wrap around him.
Many of his family members came to talk to him. Even his friends. Clary, Simon, Jace, Isabelle, Maryse, even Robert. They all said strong words and willed him to fight away the pain that was tearing him apart. But nobody else's words were going to help the feeling that would be with Alec forever.
The Accords Hall was emptied of people who were once rushing around during the night. The sun was beginning to rise and Alec was still curled on the floor in the middle of the room, feeling empty and lonely. Tears still spilled from his eyes even though he cried the entire night, loud sobs echoed through the empty room in the darkness. Simon had offered to the others that he'd stay with him through the rest of the night. He was asleep and exhausted across the room, still in the endarkened's red gear.
The whole time Alec lay there, he was awake. Awake with fear and sadness. He never imaged the empty feeling of having Magnus completely gone from his life. All he wanted to do was sleep, hoping he could escape the pain of memory's that constantly stayed with him.
The sun shinned brightly through the broken windows of the accords. Groggily, Simon stood up from the uncomfortable position he was in on the floor and walked over to Alec. Simon could hear his sniffling sobs that still shook through his body.
Simon knelt beside him, lightly placing his scarred and bruised hand on his shoulder. Alec didn't look up, but continued crying. "Alec," Simon's voice came out raspy. He never knew Magnus all that well. But seeing how much his love had destroyed and affected Alec, brought tears to everyone's eyes. "I know, how much you loved-"
"Don't!" Alec's head shot up before he could say his name. His voice came out strangled and loud, echoing through the large room. "I don't want to hear your speech! I know! I loved him! I cared about him! The world means nothing to me without him in my life!" Alec's eyes shot at Simon, his iris' bright blue and stinging with anger and red from crying. "He left me torn apart when he broke up with me before the war! And I thought it was the worst feeling to have lost him like that! But this-, this is so much worse. I would rather have him hate me, or not know me than have him not in my life completely! I would rather have anything else than this! None of you know how bad this feels, how awful and miserable I will probably be for the rest of my life! I feel empty and sad and broken, and nothing any of you say will change that!"
Simon looked at him startled, tears building in his eyes. "I'm-I'm sorry." He tilted his head down, letting brown hair fall in front of his face so his brown tearing eyes were hidden. The angry words Alec shot at him had echoed through the room with painful. But his words were full of so much sadness and meaning that it left Simon tearing up. Simon couldn't believe how hurt Alec was left. But then he thought of what would happen if Isabelle had left his life like that.
Alec and Magnus' love was so strong. Alec laid back on the floor, tears falling from his eyes and on the floor. Memory's flooded his vision. Small kisses, hugs, even loving glances poured through his mind, making him feel forgotten and alone. He wanted to leave life, leave the pain, and leave it all behind. But the more he willed the memories away, the stronger they gotten. He was in the room where they had their first kiss and where he started his journey with the man he loved. He remembered how much fear had been built in his stomach when he went to kiss Magnus. It was like things were in slow motion, and when his lips finally met Magnus', the fear left. It was like only him and Magnus were there, their love strongly building in the moment.
He had thoughts of getting him back somehow. But he knew it wasn't possible. The man he was desperately in love with was gone. If things could just be different, if things could have happened differently. He thought about it on and on, and it was torturing him.
He was tortured with thoughts and memories. So many moments building up in his mind. The happy memories should have made him glad for the times he got to spend with Magnus. But it just made him miss him incredulously. He was beating himself up with guilt of what he had done to Magnus, wishing he could change it. Even thoughts of never meeting him came to his mind. He wouldn't be in the pain he was now. But Magnus changed him for good and made Alec feel different than others had. Magnus helped him in so many ways and loved and cared for him like no one had. And he needed him now.
Simon stood up when Alec slowly collapsed back onto the floor, shaking with tears. Simon walked to the front doors of the Accords, limping as he slowly walked. When he reached the doors he looked back. Alec was still in the same spot. His figure curled in a ball, his body shaking of sadness, tears flowing of feeling lost.
And that's what he was. How he felt… He felt lost again.
Oh gosh, please don't kill me… You may be crying, but I'll have you know that I cried while writing it, so don't be angry! Please review and give me some feedback! I don't know if I should continue this or not? Be sure to tell me in a review! I wrote a lot of this a long time ago and then left it off for a while and now I've finally managed to finish it! Yay! Hope you enjoyed!