Damon

She wasn't saying anything. Her back was turned as she knocked around the kitchen preparing lunch for the two of us.

Our one bedroom apartment in downtown Mystic Falls seemed smaller than ever as I looked around. It was tiny and had little room for anything more than our little couch and makeshift coffee table. Our bedroom and bathroom, along with a small linen closet was located ten steps to the right of the kitchen and the living room was smack down in the middle. We couldn't afford cable so we had four basic channels that got the work done.

Elena got her soaps and I got my sports. If anything, Netflix saved our asses on more than one occasion; that is when we had enough to pay for it.

The apartment had weird brown stains covering its walls when we first moved in and I remember Elena taking what was left of her shopping money to paint over it. It still looked awful but it was the first step of many to make this place home. She had tried so hard to make this place feel like a safe haven for the both of us. We were both working dead end jobs until we could make it into the big leagues but until then we were stuck living paycheck to paycheck, saving for the day we could move out and into something better and hopefully closer to our families.

My eyes flickered towards her and I noticed she had stopped moving around. I couldn't tell if lunch was ready or if this was the moment I was anticipating. Was she going to scream? Yell? Break up with me and kick me out?

Suddenly and almost too quickly, she turned and came out with a plate and what I assumed was some lemonade in a tall glass. Her hair was down in waves, flowing effortlessly onto her white t-shirt. She sat down on a stool in front of me, allowing the plate and glass to rest at our feet.

This whole time she didn't look at me; hell, I don't blame her after what I did.

She picked up a piece of the sandwich and motioned for me to take it. I hesitated, wondering if she had somehow poisoned it, but I took it anyway. She picked a piece for herself and took a quick bite before staring at me for a long minute.

"Look, I messed up-"

"You gambled our new apartment money." She said cutting me off.

"Yeah..."

"And you lost..."

"Elena-"

"Don't. Just don't Damon." she said through clenched teeth.

She took a bite out of the sandwich and looked at me square in the eye while she chewed. I could tell she was mad but there was nothing I could possibly say right now that could make it any better.

"You know what has to happen now, right?"

I sighed, rubbing my face roughly with my hands as I got ready for my girl to kick me out. The thought alone of leaving her to fend for herself in this part alone was sending me to beg for any ounce of forgiveness that she could possibly give.

"Are you even listening to me Damon?" She said, clearly getting irritated.

"What?"

"I said that we have to regroup. You and I are both going to have to take on some extra shifts and I can always go down to my storage locker and see if I can pawn anything there..."

For a second, I was baffled. How the hell was she thinking so clearly? There should've been rage, hatred, or at least disappointment, but somehow, all I could find was an alarming sense of forgiveness.

"I'm hard to love, aren't I? I'm gonna try harder,Elena. I really am." I said, quietly.

She looked at me for a long time, not saying anything nor giving any indication that she felt anything towards me. The fear was starting to set in and for a moment, I had to think to see if I had said anything wrong just now. Before I could delve too far into the past, Elena sighed and took a sip of lemonade.

"You're hard to love but it's not impossible." She said smiling.

Damon

I could hear her outside the bathroom door, trying to calm herself down as she tried to do anything but yell or get angry with me after my latest mistake. If the alcohol wasn't so far into settling in, I would've been in there begging for forgiveness instead of hugging the toilet bowl. I could barely speak nonetheless hold myself together and I knew things were going to get worse from here on out.

Suddenly the door opened and bare feet padded towards me. I flinched, thinking Elena was going to slap me or even kick me because she was so mad, but instead I felt a cool washcloth on the back of my neck and her fingers against my back.

"Shh, it's okay." She whispered as I felt another wave of vomit come up.

I really wanted to apologize for not thinking, for embarrassing her and all that she's tried to do over these past few years, for not being who she needed me to be. I lifted my head up to look at her and saw no anger, but a lot of resentment in her eyes. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was tied up in a bun on the top of her head. She still had her blue sundress on from church.

"Elena..." I mumbled.

"Don't. Just don't Damon." she answered dejectedly.

Those were the words that could make or break me. When it came to the point that she had to say that to me, I knew that I had fucked up to the point that she didn't even want to be in the same room as me. But like always, Elena wanted to take care of me.

"Were you nervous? Was that it? Was it one drink but then you saw how good you were starting to feel so you kept going? Or did I put too much pressure on you?"

"Elena-" I tried.

"Damon, you came to church, with that both of our families and friends were there, drunk off your ass. Granted, at least you came in at the very end, I should at least commend you for that. God only knows what would've happened if you came in at the beginning." Her anger was bubbling over as she went on.

"El-,"

"No! Fuck, just no! I need to know why. I could understand if you didn't want to go but you were all for it. I could've made any excuse for you and they would've eaten it up. You've been doing so damn well Damon. We're so close to getting ourselves out of this place. You're doing so well at work, I'm writing again and getting paid for it, but then you go out and do this! Do you not want us to be happy? Do you not want yourself to be?" She asked almost painfully.

I had nothing to say. I had fucked up. I know that but there was nothing I could do to change it. It was supposed to be one drink. I needed to take the edge off and shake some nerves before I had to go see my family.

After Elena and I finished college, we didn't want to go into the businesses that our families ran.

We wanted independence.

Independence came at a price because every time we had to go see them, we made sure that we were on our A game. This time, I just couldn't bring myself to play the game. No matter how well I knew I was doing, I could never bring myself to face my father and the disappointment he held onto.

Just the thought of having to constantly explain ourselves and then pretend that we weren't on the verge of breaking was too much.

"I cover for you all the time, D. I just needed this one day. One day, for them to see how good we were on our own. Show them that we don't need their money, that we're good." Elena added.

I watched as she got up and reached for my hand. I wondered for the millionth time why she hasn't sent me on my way out yet. Regardless, I took her hand and walked with her to our room.

She sighed and let go of my hand as she took off her earrings. I pushed the covers out of the way and plopped down. Between the alcohol and my guilt, I felt like shit and all I wanted to do was hold Elena and go to sleep.

"It shouldn't be this easy." I blurted out.

I had no idea where that came from but it found its way out.

Elena froze and turned to me wearily.

"What?"

"This." I said motioning to her and me.

I looked around our makeshift bedroom. The mahogany wooden floors were covered in clothes or shoes and the dresser was a bit too close to the bed, making mornings difficult. We had a little window that was on Elena's side of the bed that barely opened when we really needed it to. Nothing matched, everything was either too big or too small and it all seemed so much worse than it actually was.

"Why do you forgive me all the time? Why not just kick me out?" I asked.

She shrugged, this time choosing to lay down and face me. I pull the covers over her and face her, hoping to have an answer to my questions.

"You fuck up a lot, Damon."

"So, you see my point. Elena, you could be above and beyond right now living your dreams. Why choose me instead?"

"There's no instead about this. You're my dream. So shut up and go to bed." She said with a sigh.

"But-"

"You're hard to love Damon, but it's not impossible. Trust me." she said with a sigh.

I gave her a kiss on the forehead before pulling her close to me.

"Fucking."

Pick up.

"Stupid."

Throw.

"Idiot!"

Smash.

Elena just sat there calmly, already used to days like this. My tantrums were always ridiculous and usually ended up in me hurting myself or breaking something in our apartment.

These didn't happen too often but when they did, it was hell for them both. For hours, Damon would scream and hit things, and Elena would watch, waiting for him to finish.

This time was short and sweet, merely because he was already tired from working the graveyard shift at the bar the night before. Twenty minutes after he started unleashing his rage on the apartment, his shoulders began to sag and his body slumped to the floor near Elena's body.

She was sitting on the couch, hair in a messy bun with a black tank top and some plaid shorts on. She watched closely as the exhaustion finally set in before she could finally touch him.

"You done?" she asked pointedly.

He nodded stiffly before reaching to tangle his fingers with hers.

"I'm sorry. Just so mad."

"I know. You always are every time something like this happens." She said tiredly.

He felt a sense of guilt as he took in her tone. She had been working a lot of extra shifts to make sure that the money he gambled was being made up. Not to mention, her freelance writing was picking up so she was expected to write several articles a week now.

The stress was taking a toll and Damon knew that if he looked into her eyes, that he would see all the stress and fatigue building up there.

Once again, he forgot to think about her.

"Elena..."

She shifted on the couch and pulled a pillow from under her. She moved from the couch and onto their grimy floor. When he got like this, being on the same level as him physically was a way to lessen his self-deprecation. With her back to the couch, she rested the pillow and then his head on her lap.

Calmly running her hands through his disheveled hair and whispered softly to him.

"Hard but it's not impossible..."

And once again, Damon knew that no matter how far he went, the love Elena had for him was golden.

So I just finished my first year of college and am now looking to go back to the basics before my next semester starts. By that I mean going through the vault of stories and posting them wherever I see fit. I hope you all enjoyed it and would love to hear any feedback y'all have. Thanks again.

Nessa