Waking Dreams
By Shadow Runner
They are not mine, they belong to Disney and the powers that be. No money here just ask my checkbook
Just an erroneous piece I started a long time ago and never got back too. Now that the writer's block is sucking the life out of me, I figured I'd give it a second chance. It's not really linked to any of my other fics but it takes place in the weeks following the Hunter's Moon. Now I'm off to work on several other equally neglected works…
Hope you like and happy reading J
Shadow Runner
***** ***** *****
I knew the minute I walked through the door something was wrong.
The way she held her head, even the way she moved is enough to make me stop. When she finally lifted her eyes to mine, the sparkle of light that I have come to expect was gone, replaced by a look that I do not understand.
I move to where she stands, leaning against the doorframe of the balcony that is one of many areas that links our worlds together. Her eyes are once again drawn to the floor, and then to the city skyline behind my head; anywhere but me.
I am not sure why she will not look at me but I have suspicions as to what the problem might be. Is it because she thinks I will be angry or hurt because of what happened? If nothing else, I have been angry with myself for letting it happen...
Minutes have passed since she opened the door, and still the silence hang around the room so thick I can almost feel it. Why will she not look at me?
"Elisa…?" I question softly. I know my voice is begging for a reaction and my eyes search hers for an explanation for her silence.
When she doesn't answer, I move closer, bringing my talons to her face, lifting her chin, so I can peer into her eyes. She finally catches my questioning look and allows me to guide her movement. Slowly she lifts her hand to my face, and smiles.
I can see tears in her eyes and only now do I fully understand the depth of her pain.
She tried her hardest to pretend that nothing happened, or at least that she wasn't bothered by what happened between her and Jason Canmore. But she fooled no one, least of all me. I could see the pain hidden behind that armor, the pain she needed and wanted to keep to herself.
She was trying to protect me from the truth even then, and true to her nature she still is now.
Elisa looks at me for a moment, her eyes distant and her face unreadable. It has been weeks since I saw her kissing one of the Hunters, but only a few days since she discovered I was there that night as well. She is still reluctant to talk to me about it and I imagine she never would have brought it up had I not come to her two nights ago unexpectedly.
I had assumed she was working but her partner, Matt Bluestone, me that Elisa had taken several days off. So much has happened in the last few weeks that it must have seemed natural for her to do that.
But I know her better than most and I suspect Matt does too or else he never would have told me.
I stood on her dark balcony waiting for some sign that she was there. When I heard her cries, it scared me. My heart was pounding in my chest like never before. I had visions of her, being attacked… or worse.
Making my way swiftly through her darkened apartment, I moved to her, kneeling beside the bed, whispering in the darkness. I could hear her ragged breathing and see her chest rising and falling with the intake of every breath. The moonlight slipped in past the coverings over the windows and shed a pale color over the two of us.
"Elisa… it's Goliath."
She woke up, recovering quickly, shaking my talons off her shoulder but the look in her dark brown eyes scared me.
But she told me nothing.
And that thought crossed my mind the following night, as I made my way to her bedside again; her soft cries carrying a little more urgency then the night before. My heart pounded in my ears so loud I was sure she would hear it as I knelt by her side.
"Elisa…" I whispered, my voice trembling. "Elisa, I'm here."
Her head moved violently from side to side and the tension was evident on her face. I raised a talon and gently placed it on your shoulder, as I have done many times before, kneading her tensed muscles and urged her to come back to me.
"Listen to my voice, Elisa. I will bring you back… I'll protect you. I promise. I will hold you when you're afraid, or when you're sad. I'll always be there for you. You will never be alone again."
That night she whispered her secret in my ear. That night I wished more then anything in my life that I could take away her pain, the anguish she was feeling; but that night all I could only hold her and tell her everything was going to be all right.
I am pulled for my reprieve of the past few nights by my love as she slowly pulls away from me. She walks past me and stands out on the balcony.
I wait for her to speak, as I know she will when the time is right. Slowly she turns to face me and takes in a deep breath, "I'm sorry Goliath… I should have told you sooner… but I didn't know how…"
I take a tentative step forward and repeat what I should have told her long ago. So much as changed in our relationship and I wonder if that is the reason for the nightmares. I wonder if I am a reminder of what she has given up. We have come so far but to achieve what she could have had with another of her kind may not happen for us.
So much has changed between us.
I have no desire to leave and I do not believe she wants me to so I wait quietly, expecting her to push me away, as she has done often before, but tonight she does something different.
Tonight she doesn't push me away.
Tonight she moves closer and wraps her arms around my waist and buries her head in my chest.
And then she really scares me; she starts to cry.
But the tears are different this time and in an instant she is in my arms, and I'm in heaven and hell, relieved that she finally let me in, but at the same time, I wish it were a dream.
And now, as she stands in my arms, her body trembling as I hold her, I think only of those who have hurt her… I think of those have taken what she wasn't ready to give. They have left a permanent scar on her soul, one that no doctor can heal, and that thought alone is enough to bring me to my knees.
"Shhhh...." I whisper gently, straining to keep the pain from my voice. "No one will ever hurt you again… you have my word on that..."
And Elisa holds me, while I cry for the both of us.