I didn't have birthdays. I mean, technically I did have birthdays but by the time they rolled around I was already much more than a year older than I was before. Today, regardless of my having birthdays or not, I was eighteen. I could feel it, I had no proof of turning eighteen. Did I look any different than I had yesterday? No. But I could feel it. I know that sounds a little weird, but it was actually really obvious. I was eighteen.
To tell you the truth, the older I got the weirder it was. Think about it: My dad turned into a vampire when he was seventeen and my mom when she was nineteen. So naturally, they looked to be about seventeen and nineteen when in reality my mom was only a bit older and my dad was much, much older. I looked like I was eighteen. Catch my drift? Imagine looking the same age as your parents. I always knew that eventually I would reach that age, or the appearance of it anyway, but it was weirder once I was living it. Soon, I would stop growing. Forever. And I would look like I was my parents' age. In my "childhood" if you will, I hadn't had to hide after the Volturi had come. We never really left the house much. However, when it was time to move, we had gone, and now out in public, I was assumed to be Doctor and Mrs. Cullen's foster children. The foster child of my "grandparents". The siblings of my parents. It was a little strange.
The only thing stranger was Jacob. Jacob Black was a friend of my mother's before she met my dad. At first, Jake was totally gaga for Mom, even though she was taken. Then she got married, and had me. And now it was me that Jacob wanted. Which seemed so wrong to me.
I had known him since I was a baby. My mother had been out cold for a few days after I was born, and Jacob had already become my best friend. I thought that would never change. However just a few monthes ago, Jake told me about how he imprinted on me. When I was a baby. I still was a baby if you thought about it. And he was not. Now that I looked older, Jake had the idea in his head that I was supposed to love him back. And you know what? I thought I had.
Lately though, had grown more distant. We weren't so alike anymore. They say that opposites attract but somehow I wasn't attracted to Jacob. Not like I used to be. But I could never ever tell him that. I can't think what he would do to himself. As he had explained to me, I was pretty much his life's purpose now. He and his pack would do just about anything to protect me. No pressure or anything. So I just pretended. But it was getter harder every day to keep lying to him.
"Hey Nessie!" a familiar voice called from the doorway. Jacob was here. Jacob was always here.
"Hi Jake," I responded half-heartedly as he plopped himself down on my bed. I crinkled my nose up at the wafting stench of werewolf.
Jacob lauged. "I know, I know. I stink. Sorry I'll move."
"That's okay…" I lied, hoping he'd move anyway.
Jacob grinned and opened his arms for a hug. I wasn't in the mood but I fell into his warmth anyway.
"You look older today," he told me, rubbing my back gently. It felt nice, but awkward at the same time.
"Really?" I asked.
"Mm-hmm," he murmered. "Older, and more beautiful."
"Jake, stop," I said, embarassed. But evidently, he wasn't listening.
Suddenly his lips were on mine. They were warm and soft, but somehow the kiss felt desperate. And wrong. So, so wrong. I wasn't kissing him back, I realized and I didn't want to. When he noticed, he pulled away. I couldn't believe that I was crying, but I was.