It's short... But I found it in my docs and thought I should share(: warning, it's not the happiest of stories... Since when is the Winchester's childhood happy anyway? So I hope you enjoy it likewise, feedback is greatly appreciated as always(:

One of those nights

Sam tensed in his bed, pulling the motel blanket over his ears as if that would mute everything. It never did. He would always hear it, the yelling, the door slamming and beer bottles being smashed. His dad wasn't always like this but lately he had been getting closer to finding the thing that killed their mom. He's been thinking about mom too much and that was causing him to drink more as if that would solve all their problems. No... It just made things a hell of a lot worse. Dean was only thirteen. He was the one who had to deal with those nights. Those nights when dad got so drunk that he swore he'd finally go kill the bastard and instead end up hungover in the Impala outside the motel. Those nights when he was so blind to how his own kids were dealing that he would start up a fight like this one, always ending with him slamming the door and driving off to God knows where. Again, Dean was only thirteen. Then again, Dad always said he grew up too fast.

"Dean, listen to me! You stay here and watch over your damn brother or so help me God-"

"What?! What are you gonna do to me dad? Go ahead, take a shot. I bet it'll satisfy you! And then go off on your own and just leave us! Leave us for as long as you want, hellbent on revenge! But do you know what!? I miss mom, I miss her more than anything and I'd love to help hunt that son of a bitch down that took her away from us. But what you're talking about is suicide and I can't deal with-" Sam heard his brother cut off suddenly, breath catching in his throat as if he were trying to keep himself from crying.

"...Losing anyone else I love. I can't!" Dean yelled before the room became deadly silent. Sam squeezed his eyes shut as a tear fell down his cheek. He wished they would just stop but it only got worse everyday. Dean was getting older and dad grew more tired with everything and starting drinking more.

"You don't know what is considered a suicide mission and what isn't! This is my best chance and God knows I'm taking it, you would be the reason it would become dangerous! What you need to do is take care of your brother, y'hear? That is your number one priority, nothing else!"Suddenly Sam heard a door slamming shut before the room fell silent again. He put the pillow back under his head and pulled the worn out motel blanket over him, pretending he was asleep, already hearing his brother's footsteps leading into the room. He heard a jacket being taken off and thrown on he floor before he felt Dean falling down onto the bed they had to share, feeling his back against his own, the bed clearly too small for both of them, but it was all they had. That was when Dean started crying... Sam had only heard his brother cry a few times, mostly about mom. Dean tried to hide that sort of thing from his little brother, but Sammy could see through him, always would.

The crying was muffled against the pillow and Sam knew Dean was trying his hardest to hold it in because he could feel him shaking uncontrollably. He couldn't deal with it anymore, he had to do something.

"Dean...?" Sam asked, rolling over to reach out for his brother's shoulder. Dean tensed but he didn't jump up and start yelling at him to mind his own business like he usually did, so Sam decided to try harder.

"Dean, I'm sorry..." Dean suddenly rolled over to face him, tears lining his now reddened, green eyes, a look of complete astonishment and pain written on his face.

"Sammy, none of this is your fault..." He said, his voice cracking on Sam's nickname. More tears relentlessly streamed down his face and Sam found that his eyes were also wet. Because it was his fault. All the fights were always about him, taking care of him, watching over him.

"But dad said-" Sammy lost it and clung onto his brother's shirt, hiding his face in his chest as he began sobbing. He felt Dean wrap his arms around him protectively, pulling him tightly against him as if he were the last stable thing to cling to in life. Sam felt him shaking again and held on tighter.

"Shhh, Sammy I'm sorry, none of this is your fault, you're okay, I got you. I got you. We're okay. We are going to be okay, you'll see." Sammy tried calming down, he breathed in deep, uneven breaths and pulled himself in closer against his brother. Resting his head in the crook of Dean's neck.

Dean continued to sooth him while he pulled the blanket back over them comfortably, the cold air coming in through the open window. He felt his little brother finally calm down enough to fall asleep in his arms, feeling a tear stream down his cheek at the sight of how broken Sam was. He moved closer to place his lips on Sam's forehead shortly.

"I love you Sammy..." He whispered tiredly before finally letting himself fall asleep also, arms still tightly wound around his brother.