"Surprise!"
Walt's eyes were blind and padded as his wife welcomed him to an ongoing birthday party he had not been informed of. Everyone cheered, he replied with a fake smile and they quickly forgot about him.
"You're late" she then reproached him in a whisper, before turning around and reaching again for Marie. She was talking about 'keeping her daughter Jacqueline's left and right lobe in balance', which of course made him divert from his wife.
Secretly exasperated by that unnecessary nuisance of a 'celebration', he forced himself to greet some acquaintances, until he caught a glimpse of his nephew showing Walt Jr. a gun.
"Hey" he weakly protested, stepping forward "Is that... is that loaded?"
"Walt! Yes, but it's got a safety. You know, it's not Theo's time yet. When I'll kill him, I won't bother to make it an accident! Hahaha!" Hank laughed, involving everybody around him with smug glances.
"Well, I'm still the one holding it" his son scorned him, visibly shaking the firearm, at which he jokingly put his hands up "And you'll think I'll return it after you have exposed your Jack Torrance tendencies?"
"Oh, just look at him getting his panties in a twist! All coke and no beer make Hank a dull boy: is that familiar, sonny?"
"What? Compared to you, I drink in medical sized containers!"
"I can actually attest to that" Jr backed him, absent-mindedly overcoming Walt's stare.
The air trembled and everyone was having fun, but Walt didn't move his eyes from the threat, because he felt that he needed to control that situation.
"Hahaha! Ah, wait up, Walt looks really worried. Hand the gun over, Danny" Hank finally arranged, hurrying Theo.
"He's just pretending. He's way above average, normal guns. In truth, he is Yoda. C'mon, admit it! No one in this room can prove me wrong!"
"Thank you" Walt praised him, relieved by taking it from them and sincerely grateful for his words. He knew he meant them and that he wanted the others to mean them as well. But both Junior and Hank immediately dismissed him.
"Ah... yeah, I guess. I just know the basics, alright? I barely recall who this Yoda character is, spare me your nerd fantasies. How's the gun, Walt?"
"It's fine, just... heavy" he acknowledged, as it unstably jolted between his fingers "I've never held one before"
"Well, you're coming of age! Next thing to do is go meet the doctor all by yourself, alright?"
Once again, the living room roared with laughter. Walt put again the pistol in his brother-in-law's hands, shutting his eyelids as he did it and proposing:
"Let's have a toast, shall we?"
"Yeah" Hank agreed, as everyone took their glasses and stood up "Walt: you've got a brain the size of Wisconsin, but we're not holding that against ya! Haha! Nostrovia!"
The following confusion did nothing but deepen Walt's resigned misery. Amidst his dejected thoughts, he saw Hank take his glass and drink from it.
"So that's what real alcohol tastes like" Theo exclaimed, afer taking a sip of his champagne "I'd almost forgot, getting spun on fake beer and sugar-free juice"
"What's wrong with sugar-free juice? It protects you from diabetes" Marie objected, petulantly.
"Protects my balls from growing" Theo half-whispered to Jr, covering his mouth.
"Hey!" Hank reprehended him, snapping his fingers "Shut up or that'll be all you have this week. Ah, wait! Wow, wow, wow, it's four p.m., almost forgot! Turn on the tv set, Gomey, I'm rolling! Jaz, come over here!"
As the little boy happily climbed on his knees, a service about the DEA busting a methamphetamine lab started to be broadcast.
"Boy, TV does add ten pounds" Gomez commented, with a wry grin.
"Ten pounds..." Marie mumbled, holding her daughter's shoulders as she watched.
"Ten?" Theo questioned, in a quizzical tone.
"Aaah... Jaz, Jackie, tell me: how do I look?"
"Cool" they both answered, Jasper after Jackie.
"If you think so, that's all that matters" Hank replied, stroking his youngest son's bust and patting it slightly.
"Cool? Hell, a live shootout would've been cool. You talking for five minutes and counting? Could've got anyone to do it" Theo stated, crossing his arms.
"Hey, you can go and file a complaint, but everybody else who's watching will be satisfied enough by knowing we got these fellows off the streets"
Meanwhile, Walt's attention was stolen by piles of notes stacked into boxes which were being trasmitted.
"Hank, how much money is that?"
"It's about 700 grand. It was a pretty good haul" Hank answered, joining his hands.
"Well, that's unusual, isn't it? That kind of cash?" Walt persisted, from behind.
"It's not the most we ever took. It's easy money, you know. Until we catch you! Haha!"
Walt's expression turned even more serious, and Skyler saw the corners of his mouth rise and drop in very little time.
"Hey, Walt, you say the word and I get you on a ride along, uh? You can see us knock down a meth lab. Now that you're old enough, I mean" Hank offered, not getting his eyes off the tv set.
"Yeah. Someday" Walt smiled, forethinking the experience.
Theo and Jr saw him, and started talking to each other.
"What's up, kids? Sorry, you two can't come. Pouting won't work" Hank denied irrefutably.
"We were just saying, since d-dad's going to be right there and all, m-maybe he could film it and t-then show us later" Jr proposed, after Theo prompted him with his elbow.
"Uh? No problems, do whatever you want. That alright with you, Walt?"
"Uhm... yeah, of course. I'll get everything on tape" he accepted, reluctantly. Somehow, that brought up some tension in him. He flinched and poured himself a glass of wine, brooding over their request and still looking at the two, especially at Theo. He knew he was the one who had pushed for that.