DISCLAIMER TIME! I don't own Legend of Zelda, which belongs to Nintendo, or Futurama, which belongs to Matt Groening! I also don't own the concept of One Minute Melee, which belongs to ScrewAttack!
And here we go with our next One-Minute Melee! Anyway, enjoy!
One-Minute Melee!
Where research means nothing when you just want to watch two people fight!
Two fighters! Sixty seconds! And NO research!
GO!
(Hyrule Fields)
Up at the top of Hyrule Castle, taking a deep breath and a look around was a white haired woman with blue clothing, a little belt with red feathers sticking out, a brown scarf with fancy jewels, and a scar over her left eye. She sighed as she noted the skies were pretty much clear. She nodded. Hyrule Castle was safe...
But then, all of a sudden, she spotted something in the sky. She frowned as she saw what seemed to be a green... airship?... landing near the castle. The girl, known as Impa, frowned. For some strange reason, she sensed that Hyrule and the castle was to be invaded... though whether they were friend or foe... she didn't know...
But either way, she had her Giant Blade ready for action as she started to jump down. Friend or foe, she knew that whoever these people are... were simply invading.
The green ship that landed near the castle, just so happened to open up the door as it landed down... with a purple haired woman with one eye, a white tank top, black pants and grey boots walking out of the ship first as she pulled out her blaster.
"Look alive, Fry. This planet is infested with monsters, you never know when they could strike." The woman, known as Turanga Leela explained.
A grunt was heard as a package-holding Phillip J. Fry was trying to lift the package. "I don't see why the castle of Hyrule wants more swords for their kingdom... don't they have more than enough?"
"Look, we went through all this trouble for the delivery, the least we can do is just go through with it. Besides, the professor isn't paying us to not deliver a package." Leela frowned.
"The professor actually PAYS us?" Fry said in surprise.
Around that time, Leela sighed as she turned to Fry. "Fry, listen..."
All of a sudden, someone landed right on the package, squashing Fry as he grunted. Leela stared in shock as she raised her blaster, staring right at the woman that squashed her. "Hey! I was talking to someone!"
Impa looked at Leela in confusion as she said, "Hmmm... you have one eye like an Eyegore, but you don't look like one..."
"What the hell is an Eyegore?" Leela frowned as she pulled out her blaster... as Impa pulled out her Giant Blade. "Who are you?"
"I am the Commanding Officer of the Hyrule Imperial Guard, and one of the best Sheikah fighters known to all... they call me... Impa!" Impa frowned as she held her sword triumphantly.
"Impa?" Leela blinked. "That is the dumbest name I think I ever heard in my life."
"Are you saying the name Leela isn't a dumb name?" Bender called from inside the ship.
"Shut up, Bender!" Leela called.
Impa frowned as she glared at Leela. "One-Eyed Leela, huh? Hmmm... I shall remember that name well as I destroy you..."
"Hey, don't think about it, or I'll-" Leela frowned as she was about to blast Impa with her blaster... but she was clicking on the trigger, and nothing happened. Leela frowned as she pulled out the other three blasters one at a time and tried shooting, but to no avail. "Damn it, I forgot the Professor said our blasters would be disabled in this world... oh well... that doesn't stop me from using this!"
Leela then pulled out a machete out of her side pocket. "All right, you overgrown woman, you may have a giant blade, but my small blade can surely beat it!"
Impa smirked. "Big words coming from you. Bring it on..."
The two glared at each other as Fry was groaning, "Hello? Anybody going to lift this for me?"
JUST DON'T RESORT TO PUNCHING YOUR EYE OUT!
ENGAGE!
(60 Seconds)
Impa started as she started using a combo with her Giant Blade to slash right at Leela, causing Leela to stumble a bit. Leela frowned as she started doing some dive kicks and wielding of her machete as she blocked the Giant Blade with it. Impa frowned as she stumbled a little bit.
Leela smirked as she ran right up to Impa and was about ready to slash her in the stomach, but Impa quickly recovered as she used her Giant Blade to use another combo, spinning around as she used her Giant Blade to slash Leela right in the gut.
"Ugh! Bitch! That's painful!" Leela groaned as Impa gave a smirk, knowing this battle was going to be a little easy.
(50 Seconds)
Not giving up, Leela jumped up, dodging Impa's attack as she clashed the machete with the Giant Blade. Impa frowned as she started to glow blue as she decided to get closer to Leela. Leela, not knowing what her glowing blue meant, but whatever it was, she knew it wasn't good.
Leela jumped around as Impa was looking for a good place to unleash her magic special as she started slicing down a few trees with the Giant Blade. It was right then and there, she found a perfect spot as she moved over.
Leela thought that the Sheikah was standing there, open for attack, so hesitantly, she ran over with her machete in hand as she was about to jump down...
But then Impa started to activate her powers as she pulled her Focus Spirit ability.
(40 Seconds)
Impa unsheathed her Giant Blade, slashing at Leela for a moment as Leela flew into the air for a slight moment, causing her to hit the leg of the Planet Express ship.
Leela frowned as she got up and ran right up to Impa as Impa prepared her Giant Blade for another attack... only for Leela to kick the weapon out of her hands as Impa stared in shock. Leela smirked as she quickly grabbed the Giant Blade and snapped it in two.
"There! How do you like that, hm?" Leela laughed as she was readying up her machete, running up to a weaponless Impa...
At least until Impa pulled out her Naginata weapon as she twirled it around, causing Leela to get burned, making her yelp.
(30 Seconds)
"What? Oh come on! Really?" Leela said as she saw Impa surrounded by fire for a couple of seconds.
Impa smirked as she ran up and used her Naginata to toss Leela up in the air. Impa gave a heavy smirk as Leela landed on the ground with a big thump. Impa then started running up to Leela, hitting her with the knife wielding end of her staff as Leela started flying up in the air in shock. Impa found enough time as she jumped up and did a spinning kick on Leela, causing her to stumble and fall on the ground.
Leela groaned as she was getting up. The one-eyed mutant looked at Impa as she muttered, "She is so tough! How can I beat her?"
(20 Seconds)
Leela then got an idea as she started to come up to Impa, still holding the machete. Impa just shook her head as she and the one-eyed mutant before her started to clash around with their weapons.
Leela saw an opportunity as she kicked Impa right in the gut, causing her to stumble in shock. Impa frowned as she started to glow, as she summoned a fire dragon that circled around her.
Impa then noticed Leela giving a smirk as she threw her weapon aside. The Sheikah frowned in suspicion. Just what was she up to?
(10 Seconds)
Leela smirked as she ran away from the dragon as Impa just stared in shock. She was about to get closer when she saw Leela was about to make a running start towards the dragon.
"What are you doing? You'll get burned!" Impa asked in shock.
"Exactly what I plan to do to you!" Leela said as she jumped up and landed on the dragon's head.
Impa's eyes widened as she watched Leela walk on the dragon.
(5...)
Leela got to the tail end of the dragon as Impa's eyes widened.
(4...)
Impa knew she had to wrap up her ability, causing the place around them to explode, but she knew it was a risk worth taking as Leela jumped off the dragon.
(3...)
Impa activated her Focus Spirit Passive ability as Leela's foot was about to make contact with the Sheikah's face.
(2...)
Impa started to jump as Leela started to flip as Impa used her Naginata to activate her ability...
(1...)
But before Impa could land her finish, Leela's foot landed right in Impa's face as she felt the wind knocked out of her, her Focus Spirit ability getting cancelled in the progress.
KO!
Impa groaned as she fell down, unconscious. Leela gave a smirk as she looked down at the down Impa. "You've crossed the wrong mutant, Sheikah."
Around that time, Fry had finally got out from under that crate as Bender was walking out, chugging a bottle of beer. "Okay, I just finished up, I'm good to go!"
"Where have you been, Bender?" Leela frowned.
"I've been watching that show Fry went on about. It was really great, two girls were fighting each other, one was using a machete, the other two weapon! Heh, no wonder they call it a One Minute Melee... only problem is that it was too damn short!" Bender complained.
Leela frowned. "Oh whatever. Do you have the list so we know who to deliver the box of swords to?"
"Oh, right here." Bender said as he opened a compartment and pulled out a bulletin list. He read it. "Okay, it says we have to deliver it to the Commanding Officer of the Hyrule Imperial Guard... known as Impa."
"Wait... who did you say this package had to go to?" Leela asked, staring in shock.
"Impa. Dumbest name I ever heard, but okay." Bender shrugged as Fry blinked.
"Say, Leela, isn't Impa the name of the girl you just knocked unconscious?" Fry asked.
Leela's eye widened as she turned to see the unconscious Impa. "Uh... whoops... this will not look good on our business."
The three Planet Express crewmates looked in worry... Bender then shrugged as he said, "Oh well, I'm going to see if they serve beer in that nearby town over there. I'll catch up with you meatbags later!"
Bender then started to whistle as Fry and Leela were still staring at the unconscious Impa in worry.
This melee's winner is...
TURANGA LEELA
And that's all for this One-Minute Melee! How'd you guys like it! Do you have any criticisms or good comments to say? Leave it in your reviews! Anyway, thank you all for reading this, have a great day!
