The Owl and the Pussycat: A Hogwarts Tail
Hermione and Harry were such great friends
That their pets to each other were known,
And this is the tale of how they set sail
To have an adventure alone.
Tired of the Castle, they thought they would find
More pleasure exploring outside;
They decided to leave their owners behind
And follow the stars as their guide,
Their guide,
Their guide,
And follow the stars as their guide.
Hedwig and Crookshanks took to the lake
In a beautiful pea-green boat;
They took some pickles, and plenty of Sickles
Wrapped up in a parchment note.
Hedwig looked up to the skies above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Crookshanks, O Crookshanks my love,
What a beautiful Crookshanks you are,
You are,
You are,
What a beautiful Crookshanks you are!"
How charmingly sweet you sing!
Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?"
They sailed away, for a night and a day,
To the shore where the Banshees shriek;
And there in the wood their friend Pigwidgeon stood,
With a ring at the end of his beak,
His beak,
His beak,
With a ring at the end of his beak.
"We're in a pickle! Will you sell for one Sickle
Your ring?" Said Pigwidgeon, "I will."
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Half-Giant who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince and slices of quince
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And paw in wing, as Pig started to sing,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.
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Tee-hee! Can't you just see Hagrid performing the ceremony?
... Now we need a sequel in which Hedwig hatches a litter of winged kittens. Or possibly, furry owlets. Anyone who cares to tackle this in verse or prose is welcome; I don't feel up to it myself…. For the original "Owl and the Pussycat" plus many other delights by Mr. Lear, visit: http://falcon.jmu.edu/~ramseyil/lear.htm. And of course, all things Hogwarts belong to J.K. Rowling. All hail the Empress of Potterdom!