How am I supposed to explain my feelings for the coldest man alive?
Beautiful, beautiful blue eyes. But did they really feel? Was there anything but a calculating mind behind those icy eyes?
How am I supposed to know what she's thinking?
Why was she looking at me like she really needed to tell you something? What was it that she couldn't say? How should I react? Everything I did set off another tirade of emotions, fury, excitement, the get-out-of-my-face-or-I-will-slap-you mode.
Why should I even bother?
All the times he had ever looked down on me, made you in a sense his trick minion, pretended, joked, insulted you-and it hurt. It hurt like anything, deep down inside. So why bother?
Why doesn't she open up?
As long as I had known her she had never really confided in me. I had gotten her into all sorts of trouble, I had told her all of my secrets, few things remained secrets from her for long. But she never opened up to me-so why should I talk to her now?
Why does he look so angry?
Why was he turning away, his face set? Was he angry at ,e? Why? What was going threw his head? I longed to ask, had to ask…
"Are…are…" "I'm not angry at…at you."
Was she talking to me?
And if she was, what was she saying?
I shouldn't say this…I'll get myself in trouble…Should I?
"Are you all right?"
Something the matter with me?
Why is she asking me if I'm all right? Do I look funny? I'm I turning blue?
"Yes. Fine. Why?"
Why does he sound so angry?
"You don't sound like you're all right."
I'm fine…aren't I?
"I'm fine. Honest. How about you?"
Oh no…Does he know what I'm thinking?
"I-I'm all right. But you look angry."
I look angry?
But why would I be angry? Because she doesn't open up to me? Because she's retreating into her shell no matter how bold her words are? Because of the way her hair falls and her eyes glitter in the moonlight? Because of this strange thing inside of me?
He's not angry at me?
If he's not angry at me, then why does he look so angry? Why do I want to run away and forget tonight ever happened? Why is the moon reflecting off of his hair like that? Its like a rainbow, a rainbow of pain.
"Then who are you angry at?" "I don't know. Who are you angry at?" "I'm not angry, you are." "No, you're not angry…your just not talking."
Then who am I angry at?
How can I explain that I'm mad at myself, that I'm mad at the world? Mad at myself for not knowing what I'm thinking, mad at the world for making me who I am?
Why is he asking such stupid questions? I'm not angry.
I'm not angry, YOU are?
I'm not talking?
"I'm not talking? I'm talking."
She's talking, but not the words I want to know…
Why is she looking at me, so confused, like she doesn't understand me?
But then, do I understand myself?
"What are you thinking about?"
What am I thinking about?
I'm thinking about his words! I want to know who he's mad at I want to know what he's thinking and I want to know how I can tell him…
"Why your words are in circles. You?" Is he happy? Excited? He knows those words. But is that…tenderness? "I think I know the words…" Is this the thing I have been sensing in her? Does she feel the way I do? Is she looking at my hair and eyes and face and trying to memorize every last detail like I am with her? "What are they?" But it seems like it…his eyes are so inviting… Should I…should I… "Love…" Was I a fool? Should I have said it at all? Does he know what love is? He's touching my hair, my cheek, does he love me too? Love…I know that word…somehow… "Love…" Yes. That was the word. That was the word! Should I kiss her? "I love you." He loves me…
Why your words are in circles.
Because that's me, that's what I understand. I know that maniac joy. But what are these words…what is the word for this feeling…
"I don't know how to explain it. But its…wonderful."
Wonderful?
She knows the words?
What if my feelings aren't his?
Why is she moving closer to me instead of farther, like she's been doing for the last half hour?
"I love you."
I love you…
Is that the word? Is that the feeling? Should I reach out and touch her hair?
He's testing the word.
Love…her?
What is he doing?
I know the word now…
He loves me. He said so!
I love her…