Light From My Earthbound Sun

BellaPOV

We stood there, fixed on one another with the intensity that burned our souls and seared through the pouring rain. For the first time in two weeks, I found his light once again and yet his features were bathed in darkness. For days on end I struggled with not having his warmth and his glow to help heal the cold that surrounded my being. Nothing could have swayed my mind once it decided that today was the day to put aside his constant discount of me and my feelings. Today, I would get the answers I wanted and there would be no force on this earth that could stop me. For too long I had been without my earthbound sun and I was determined to have him back.

"Just…give me…some time…maybe…" The brevity of my speech was cut short by his cold hard stare. Gone was the beautiful boyish glow; in its place, stood a man whose face shown the glint of a thousand years worth of troubles.

He left me speechless in the silence that followed my absentminded declaration to him and yet there was something within his eyes that spoke to me all the same. A single hint of light that shown through; as if waiting for something more, but that was quickly reconciled by the beckoning of his name from another.

Against the cold and freezing rain, my eyes wandered off to the distance behind him and a man that had earned all the hatred in the world from me…Sam.

"Jacob! Come on!" One wave of his hand and it was as if Jacob was bound to him and his short gestures.

I didn't want this; this horrible man had taken my Jacob away and it seemed there was nothing I could do about it. No amount of begging and pleading could sway the beautiful being in front of me from turning and walking away.

"You promised!" It was the lowest of blows that I could deal to him, but the choice was the only one that was left to me, at the risk of losing him. "You promised you would never hurt me!" I was more than sure my cheeks were flushed against the cold, breath shallow, and a voice that held no intimidation to him, and yet…he stopped. One swift turn, quicker than I could see, and he was in front of me; but the look he held was not the one I wished for.

"I know." The rain soaked his hair as each tiny drop slid fluidly down across his face. "And this is me, keeping that promise." Once again he turned away, but I wouldn't let this go…I just…couldn't.

My arm reached out to him and my hand grasped at the warmth that was his. As if my touch was all he needed, he slowed to a stop yet again, but never turned and I began to fear that all my past actions had truly ruined the man I could call my best friend.

"Are you breaking up with me?" He knew too well the real meaning behind this and maybe that particular choice in phrasing was not my best. Though only a friendship, I'm more than sure he wished it to be something else. I had ignored what was there before and tried to brush it off as a simple crush, but it was very clear that he was indeed…in love with me. Even now, not looking at him, I could tell that he was fighting a battle within himself on that very subject.

He turned to me again and my peripheral vision cleared enough to know that Sam and his gang were walking just a little closer. The shaking that was spurred within Jacob both worried and caved me entirely. Had I caused him this much pain? Was I the reason he was doing this? Sure, I had clutched to his being during my time of idiocy, but I had no intentions of doing it again…not at the risk of hurting him so horribly.

"Jacob!" Again Sam called and again I wanted him gone. This was a moment between Jacob and I and it was not for someone else to hear. He was my Jacob and I didn't care if Sam thought he owned him…he didn't; not in my mind or my heart.

"Jacob please." Torn was the look he chose; stuck between the very thing you want to refuse and the safety of something that may never be. "Please…" Again I begged him and wanted to see him give in and come to me. I squeezed his hand only a little, trying to convey with motions what I could not speak…but it was wasted.

Slowly his head began to turn in the direction of this new, inanimate figure that had stolen him away. This was a moment that gave me the reason to my actions. I could not let him be taken away from me. Through every bit of my darkness, Jacob was my light; he is what held me to this earth and I refused to believe that one man could manipulate him so easily.

Before the chance to give Sam full recognition was there, I did the only conceivable notion I could. I closed the distance between us and reached my hand to the warmth and beauty of his face. Though changed by rigidness, I still admired it all the same.

"Forget about him Jacob…just don't give up on me…please…" The sheer power of the moment was expressed in his eyes as they slowly found mine. It was as if they were searching, trying to hold onto to what I wanted, but having a substantial struggle to do so. "I need you." And it was true coming from my lips and passing through his ears.

"Jacob!" Again Sam called, but his attention was forgotten as Jacob stared at me with an intensity that left me staggering on every breath.

For only a moment I could see that I was the winner in this battle for his concentration and I did not want to lose. I knew that my mind was a tangled web of hopelessness and desolate disaster, but I allowed it to clear. If only for a moment, I let my mind and my heart agree on giving him what he desired. To keep my Jacob with me, I would do this…for him.

All thoughts of him were pushed aside, though such an effort to do just that. For this single moment in time, I opened my heart to my best friend and allowed him the chance to have every inch of my soul as his.

His eyes widened but before I would allow a single thought to pass his mind, I begged for the one thing I knew he wanted. "Kiss me." Two words that left him stunned in his staggered stare.

In a flash, my body melted into his as his lips descended upon mine, wrapping them in the warmth that flowed from his heated body. It was soft and soothing as we tangled in the passion of the moment between us, not holding back the emotions that were left out in the rain alongside us.

But, in that moment, my mind also allowed the fading away of the forest. Trees vanished, Sam vanished, and all that was left was the bright glow of my sun. His hand slid to cup one side of my face as he brought the other up to join it. As lips mingled, slid, and tugged, I was amazed at the beauty this one kiss held. For so long I feared giving in and yet now, my mind was reeling with new feelings and new emotions I had not witnessed before.

However beautiful a moment, it did not last.

"Jacob." A flat, hard, cold tone brought the world back into view and his lips left mine almost instantly. My incredible sun turned his head only slightly before finding its way back to me. The grip I thought I had on his hand was lost as the torture became present on his face again.

Once again, I did not like this. I felt more passion than I ever thought possible in his lips and it only increased my need to have him back in my life. I could never use Jacob to replace the love I had for him, but that didn't mean that I wasn't capable of loving again…in a different way.

"Jake?" Quickly his look was confused and so worried, with even a hint of fear to shroud it. He looked to Sam once more who only gave him a stern stare. This couldn't happen. I placed one hand on his face, forcing him to see what was needed. "I need you." Deep down I think he knew of my reasoning; he knew that my heart was not completely healed, but that I was willing to give some chance of it being restored to its former glory.

"Jacob, we don't have time for this. Come with us." Sam would not win this. I could not let him take my sun away and leave me to fall into the darkness of the storm yet again.

Though he wanted to give his attention to the man that had manipulated so many, something held him within my grasp. I took that moment and begged without relent.

A simple "stay with me" was all it took for him to give one final glance to Sam before picking me up and carrying me towards his house.

Sam shouted his name again and again, but it was a wasted effort to Jacob's ears. His attention was on me and only me and the moment he opened the door and carried me in, I knew that I had won. My Jacob was mine again and no one, not even Sam and his gang, could take him away.

I didn't care how long it would take, one way or another, I would find a way to give my heart to a man that I knew would never break it…my one and only…earthbound sun.

A/N:

So this is a random thought that I truly wished had happened in the stories because we all know I'm a huge Jacob/Bella fan. I also believe that Jacob isn't just the healthier or safer choice, but he's the choice that would have left Bella understanding that she was perfectly fine just being who she was. A much better moral to the story if you ask me.

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