This was a request by ThunderousViktory. Her character Rafe is a human that craves human/demon blood. She is a friend of Sam's that Dean doesn't like, but she doesn't say anything because she doesn't want to cause trouble between the boys.
Double Trouble
"Dean." Comes Sam's strained voice through the speakerphone.
Dean's head snaps up and looks at the phone in Cas' hand.
"I told you I don't want to talk to him." Hisses Dean, eyes wide and panicked.
"Well now you have to." So saying Cas tosses the phone to Dean, giving him no choice but to catch it.
"Sammy I told you I don't want to talk to you unless that bitch is either off it, or dead." Dean snarls into the phone, "Preferably dead." He adds, almost as an after thought.
"Dean, she's pregnant." Sam says breathlessly.
"What?" Dean's eyes are ready to pop out of his head.
"Look don't get angry at me okay? I didn't know!" Sam says panicked, he wants to avoid a fight at all costs with his brother because he knows eventually it'll lead to a pranking fight.
"How could you not know Sammy? That is very big thing NOT to friggin' KNOW!" Dean's pacing and shouting into his phone, and it's still on speaker.
"Dean…" Sammy sighs.
"Holy shit I'm gonna be an Uncle. I'm gonna be an Uncle Sammy. Haha." Dean says with a huge shit-eating grin on his face. Cas just smiles over at him from his corner. Dean's eyes snap over to him, "did you know?"
"Dean I told you…" Sam replies frustrated.
"No, not you Sammy," Dean interrupts, "Cas."
"…Well did he?" Sam asks after a moment.
"Shut up for a moment and maybe I'll get an answer!" Dean looks up from the floor to find Cas pulled another Houdini, "Son of a bitch! Friggin' Angels!" He says exasperated, "you gotta come back sometime!" He shouts at the ceiling.
"Hahaha." Comes Sam's voice, interrupting Dean's thoughts of Angelic torture.
"Dude! What if the kid's hooked too? Sammy I swear to God if that bitch screws the kid up I'll kill her." Deans proclaims vehemently, Sam doesn't doubt him.
"Don't worry Dean they're fine" Sam says rolling his eyes at his brother. Say the word 'baby' and Dean's just a big, overprotective marshmallow, Sam snorts at the image of his big brother in a marshmallow costume.
"They?" Dean inquires.
"Ummm, yeah…twins." Sam replies hesitantly.
"Holly shit man that's friggin' awesome!" Dean says, clearly excited, "…but dude seriously HER? I mean come on I know she's hot, she's got the whole Miranda Lambert thing goin' for her, but come on!"
"Dean it's not like I could choose who I accidentally impregnate." Sam says exasperated.
"Dude…" Dean says confused.
"Yeah, yeah I know. You know what I mean." Sam responds tiredly, it takes way too much effort to keep up with Dean's erratic thinking patterns…maybe that's why he doesn't like to think a lot, huh.
"And here I though you were supposed to be the smart one." Dean snorts.
"Jerk." Sam says fondly.
"Bitch." Dean replies with a smile.