A/N: Written for I Am Book Ninja's Princess Bride Quote Challenge. My quote was "I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon."
Everyone knew that James Potter of Gryffindor and Severus Snape of Slytherin hated each other with a burning passion. What else could be expected of the Gryffindor and the Slytherin? It was a rare occasion that a Gryffindor and a Slytherin were friends, and when they were…well, it didn't last long. Lily Evans and Severus were living proof. Everything would be fine and dandy, and then someone would say something wrong and everything would come collapsing down on their heads.
It used to be that Lily had hated James Potter as much as Severus did. Yes, she was a Gryffindor as well, but she repeatedly called him an 'arrogant toe-rag' and would have nothing to do with her. But then, something changed, and Lily and James started dating, and now Severus hated James Potter even more. Lily and James used to be the two people in Hogwarts who were most likely to argue – now, that was James and Severus.
On the day in question – November 28th, 1977 – the argument between them was about none other than Lily herself. Lily was one of their most common topics for these almost-always-pointless arguments. She wasn't with them; otherwise, she never would have let the argument start in the first place.
"You can't control who she's friends with!" Severus said icily, glaring at James. They were in the fairly crowded Entrance Hall of Hogwarts. Most of the other students just walked right past without giving them a second glance; fights between the two were common occurrences and nothing to get overly excited over. They almost always ended the same; James won the argument about whatever it was, and Severus slunk back to the Slytherin Common Room to sulk.
"How many times does she have to tell you that she doesn't even want to be your friend anymore?" James bellowed, which admittedly turned a few heads. Both boys usually kept the volume of their voices under control. James hastily lowered his voice back down to a normal level before continuing. "Not since you called her…you know…in fifth year."
"Just because you hate me with a burning passion doesn't mean that she does," Severus added. He knew that he was losing this argument, but he couldn't just walk away. He may have been happy to sit back and let others do the fighting, but he couldn't just quit. That, more than anything, was against his nature.
"You still don't get it, do you," James said, lowering his voice yet again so that only Severus could hear. "I'll explain. And I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon."
"'Warthog-faced buffoon'? That's sinking a little low, isn't it?" Severus sneered. The two boys were rarely reduced to insulting each other. Either James was running out of ideas or he was about to deliver the most crushing blow yet.
James ignored Severus's remark. He spoke with a space between each word that allowed the meaning of his words to sink into Severus's head ever so slowly. "Lily. Chose. Me. Get over it." And with that, he walked away, up the stairs to Gryffindor Common Room, victorious as always.
Severus knew that James was right. Lily had really chosen James. She had chosen her sworn enemy over her friend since childhood. He kept telling himself that he didn't care. Why did he want a – a Mudblood like her to be friends with him? He should have been glad that she was distancing herself from him.
But he wasn't.