Izzy's Arabian Nights
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Doctor Who, GNR's name or Jack Harkness...If i owned any of this things now I wouldn't sleep alone but would have Izzy Stradlin and The Master cuffed on my bed.
A/N I wrot this fiction when i read one about Martha and The Doctor going to planet that is simillar to Arabian world. So if you see some similarities thats why I forgot the name of the fiction or the autor. But if you recognise it and think is too much alike send me a message and i'll take this down. Still it shouldn't be apart of the Arabian idia the dialog and all other is mine.
Somewhere outside time and space, into the middle of the vortex a strange blue Police Public Call box was traveling so fast it looked stationary. The box looked as it was only big enough to hold a space for one in the most two persons standing still, however currently inside said box were four men (well actually three men and an alien), two of which were quite annoyed. How can there be four people inhabiting a space barely enough for 2 you may ask. Well if you are able to pass on the fact that a blue what appeared to be wooden box is traveling in the vortex, you surely can go pass the fact that aforementioned box is bigger on the inside.
The box made a quite sharp turn in the middle of the vortex and started to shake uncontrollably. Everyone inside it lurched and held on for dear life to anything they could find in the vicinity.
"Who the bloody hell give you the driving licence?" Redheaded shouted man angry.
"Who said I have a licence?" The Doctor flashed his slightly manic-crazy grin.
"You are gonna crash-land us all here, and you don't even get your licence and insurance? How fucking great." Shouted a lanky brunette trying to make himself heard over the screech of the TARDIS.
"I didn't even attend the exams" The Doctor shouted back proudly looking for all the world as a school boy who had just informed his teacher that he read his first book.
"The Doctor stole the TARDIS." Captain Jack Harkness put in helpfully flashing his trade mark charming smile.
"I did not." The Doctor puted putting the boy-caught-eating-grannie's-cookies-from-the-jar look. How exactly he could put this innocent-boy look in his 900 years Jack could only wonder. "I didn't steal her, I just borrowed her. I had every intention to give her back. It just never came never come to this point and now that Gallifrey is no more…" He trailed off scratching the back of his head.
All three of the passengers looked at him and then burst laughing, shaking their heads. Trust the Doctor to come up with something like this.
"So when are you going to get this thing to work and get us home?" The brunette asked.
Apart from the usual crew of the semi-sentient space ship-time machine there currently were two additional boys. The early mentioned redhead called Axl Rose and his friend Izzy Stradlin. How did they end up in the TARDIS is a long story, but we will just outline it here as we don't need to waste time that we can spend in adventure explaining old encounters.
Although they were promised only one trip anywhere and any when in space and time, with the promise that they will be returned home mere minutes after they left; The Doctor never managed to land in quite the right time or place. He even managed to miss the Solar System in a couple of occasions and land in whole different Galaxy not to mention the miss of 300 years instead of 30 min. So this was how the two musicians had become part of the TARDIS' crew. A simple 'thank you' trio for helping the Doctor and the Captain saving the world turn wayward. Not that they even knew that they had saved anything at that particular moment. And they sure enjoyed it in the beginning but it was now getting tedious and tiresome.
With a violent lurch that send them all sprawled hard on the floor the TARDIS came to abrupt stop, the lights flicked off and then back on again and everything went quiet, and stilled.
"Bloody hell! No wonder you have an immortal like Jack to travel with you. Anyone else would not last more than a day." Axl's shrill voce cut the silence.
"It looks like the old girl took us off course again." The Doctor murmured gripping the railing on the console and lifted himself up to check the coordinates on the screen.
"Where did we end up this time?" Jack asked excitedly.
"I'll tell you where we didn't" Izzy tossed irritated.
"What is it old girl? What are you playing at this time?" The Doctor stroked his hip as if it was his lover.
"Oi, Cassanova! Answer the bloody question! I can't read a fucking word on this screen is all alien scrabbling. Where are we?" Axl shouted at the alien.
"Oh-uh. Weeeell….you see…" The Doctor stammered pulling on his ear with one hand. "We appear to be on the world of Aladdin." He looked around into the blank stared surrounding him, then sighed. "Well we seem to have landed on a planet called Aladdin."
"We are what?" Izzy whispered.
"Oh, come on then what are you all waiting for lest go explore." Captain Jack was all energy and motion all of a sudden.
"I ain't going anywhere." Izzy said stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest. "You get back here and get me home RIGHT NOW!"
"Oh, come on!" Axl tagged on his friends arm. "It's going to be fun."
"Now you stop right there!" The Doctor's voice stopped them in their tracks. "No one is going out of these doors without getting changed in the appropriate attire."
"But we never get to dress up when we go somewhere." Jack Harkness pouted.
"Well we don't but this is the land of the fairy tales. They have different perceptions than the rest of the universe. Our clothes with stuck like sore thumb there."
"So a trip to the wardrobe and then-Here we go fairy nights." The Captain enthused.
"Yeah, and what are we wearing." Axl asked going back up the ramp from his place at the ships doors.
"Well I have some Asian costumes from the time period. However Izzy mmmhup mmmhup…" The Doctor murmured unintelligibly scratching the back of his head and looking at his feet.
"Sorry didn't quite catch thi?" Izzy asked curious.
"I said mmph mmph mmph."
"No, sorry couldn't heat it again?"
"I said youhavetodressasawoman." The Doctor shot all this in one word in a high speed bouncing back on the balls of his feet.
"I have to WHAT?"
"You heard me." The Doctor whispered looking like a beaten puppy.
"Oh, no, I think I didn't. Because I heard that, I have to dress as a woman." Izzy responded sharply.
"That's what I said." The Doctor bounced with forced cheerfulness.
SMACK!
All heads turned in unison to Izzy following the place the sound came from.
"What?" Izzy asked innocently. "He deserved the slap, if he thinks I'm dressing up as a woman."
"But you see. You look too feminine. Even if you dress as a man, you'll only be arrested for being woman in man clothes, and there this is considered crame."
SMACK.
"Ow! Stop it! Ok you can either do as I say and come with us, or stay here in the TARDIS while we have fun out there. I'm sure the TARDIS will find you something to entertain you while you wait for us to return." The Doctor teased with a smug smile.
"Ok, ok!" Izzy sighed defeated; he didn't want to be the one left behind.
"Good so to avoid awkward questions of why three men travel with just one woman we need a covert story." The Doctor mused. "And because quite frankly I'm genius I already have one." He brushed some imaginary dust from the sleeve of his suit jacket.
"Yeah." Jack snorted.
"Anyway… So here is the story. Axl will be the sheikh as he will have the bigger turban to hide all this red hair of his. It will be quite suspicious to have red hair on a planet that most of the population is Asian-looking and haven't mastered the space travel yet. Mind you the Earth is still in its first baby steps into space travel, but this don't stop all the aliens that are going there. You wait till your lot set your first space station on Mars. You'll think that you finally find another life form. Not that there never was a life on Mars, but by the time you lot get there nothing will be left. The poor Martians suffered ice age worse than what your small Earth had…"
"DOCTOR!" Izzy snapped at him trying to stop the babbling. "Focus!"
"Yeah, right, sorry. Where was i? Ah yes, Axl will be the sheikh. I'll be his eunuch."
"Ha!" Jack snorted.
"What? I'm Time Lord, I don't require sex, and so I can pass as eunuch and be allowed around Izzy without rising suspicious. You can't you get turned on by anything that breath, you…" The Doctor looked Jack up and down meaningfully "…you bit walking factory for pheromones." The Time Lord huffed.
"Ok, so who I am going to be?" Jack asked smiling.
"You will be the guard seeing as you are all military and trigger happy. And Izzy will be Axl's harem girl." This time the Doctor expected the slap so he said this backing away from said Izzy and slowly started to circle the console. Izzy was circling the console as well trying to reach the Doctor. He lurched violently at the Time Lord shouting.
"I'll kill you. I'll bloody kill you."
Captain Jack laughed at the scene, but then decided to save the Doctor. He quite liked this delicate body and pretty face and didn't want him to change. "Ok, stop! I don't think killing him is worth the effort. It's not gonna work, he will just end up regenerating. So Doc tell us where is the wardrobe this time around?"
Izzy stopped and flung himself in the captain's seat, allowing the Doctor to breathe in relieve.
"First on the left, second on the right past the dust bins, under the stairs, third on the left the kitchen is the first door on the right."
Axl's eyebrows went up to his hairline. "Just how bigger on the inside is this place?"
The Doctor smiled cheeky at him. "Oh, you'll be surprised. Even I'm not sure. I had a couple of companions who get lost and took them a few days to find their way back to the control room."
Izzy's eyes went wide. "Great" he murmured under his nose, and then headed in the pointed direction of the wardrobe. It was bloody huge a three or more storey wardrobe with curved up staircase and clothes of possibly every Erath time period, and some other planets thrown in the mix as well. He selected a few items that he thought were appropriate for Arabian-ala-Aladdin nights.
A couple of hours later Izzy finally emerged from his bedroom dressed in his new attire. He tiptoed nervously down the grating floor of the platform leading to the console room, hoping that he would avoid being noticed for at least another few minutes. Not such luck. The moment he entered all the eyes were fixed on him.
"Don't you dare laugh, or I'll go on spare killing around the TARDIS!" Izzy warned them noticing their gapping mouths.
"You look beautiful, considering that you are human." The Doctor said awkwardly shifting on the spot.
"So do I have to dress as a woman to finally get a kiss from you?" Jack Harkness asked with a smug smile.
"Stop it Captain." The Doctor dismissed him. "I never understood the human's fascination with exchanging DNA trough the saliva in the pores of your mouth."
"Yeah thanks Doc. Trust you to explain the human affection with some dry Time Lord theory."
Through all this exchange Izzy's eyes darted back and forth and he was getting redder with every passing second.
Axl slid his gaze eyeing Izzy, from hair to toe. He whore something assembling belly dancers bra with a light short and transparent blouse over it, what the bra thing was stuffed with he didn't want to go there. His belly was bare and Axl could see the frouless porcelain skin underneath. On his legs he whore slightly puffed silk turquoise trousers the effect was finished with the blue veil covering Izzy's head and part of his face. If he ever doubted the Doctor's words that Izzy looked too feminine; he did not now. He looked perfectly beautiful Arabic woman.
"Y-You look amazing." Axl stammered lost for words.
Axl himself has put a lot of effort into dressing up the part, with a white shirt covered through his middle with big red belt, a gold sleeveless jacket and burgundy trousers puffed at his tights. Jack and the Doctor weren't far behind. Jack's shirt was open almost to the base of his stomach showing off is perfect build muscled chest. It was Izzy's turn to gape. "So, you three beautiful boy's will be my knights in shining armour?" He smiled at them fluttering his eyelids.
The Doctor cleared his throat. "Anyway…Ready?"
Not waiting for an answer he skipped to the doors and flew them open.
The view that greeted them was breath-taking and as the four TARDIS members thought worth the change in course. All around them was sand and the occasional dry bush, but down some road they could see and almost hear the city with its white stone walls and buildings and the roar and smell of spices in the bazaar. The sun was high up and shining strong down on them making Izzy wish he could take off some of the clothes or the veil that was covering his head. His skin was beginning to feel flush and sweaty.
"So kids," The Doctor's voice brock the silence that fell upon them staring at the beautiful yellowy-red landscape. "If everybody is ready we can go. Izzy you will go to the bazaar as all the women do." Seeing his eyes wash with blue murder even under the veil, the Time Lord retreated behind Jack. "Sorry but we have to stay in character and play the part. Go select the best cheese and fruits you can see." He fumbled around his pockets and gives the guitarist some of the planet's currency. "Oh, and take some fine wine as well, we can make ourselves a great Arabian Nights later."
"And what are you going to do my lord?" Izzy asked Axl trying to don't sound sarcastic and stay in role.
"Oh, we are going to just look around and explore, see what we can find." The Doctor grinned. "And Jack stay with me, don't even think to flirt with anyone, man, woman or the occasional semi-sentient animal."
"Aww Doc, come on have a bit of faith in me." Jack whined with mock hurt.
Izzy shook his head not wanting to hear the same old bickering about Jack's flirting and the Doctor's annoyance at being called Doc. He made his way through the bazaar looking around the displays on the stands to see if anything would get his attention. To his surprise not five minutes into doing the shopping he found it quite enjoyable and all but forgot that he was supposed to be crossed with that stupid alien git for not bringing him home and making him dress as a woman.