Author's Note: I really have to thank NCIS She-Demon. Being a sounding board for her IPS story (which you guys should totally go read) helped my muse recover from the finale. Don't get me wrong, it didn't suck but it wasn't fantastic either. In fact, I kind of like last year's better. Getting riled up is better than getting indifferent, after all.

I also have to thank my big sister. If it weren't for her good natured (most of the time) nagging, I wouldn't have been out of the house nearly as much as I have been lately and I would've missed out on a lot of things, including a fantastic wedding and reception that we got invited to. And that my friends, is where this latest installment of Green Eggs and Ham comes from. Our heroes are on the scene and looking for a good time with not only their friends but with each other. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"

It was rare that she got invited to stuff like this. After all, she was Mary "Crazy Goddamned Bitch" Shannon. No sane person would want her anywhere near their wedding or reception and putting her in the wedding party? No fucking way in hell…

Well, until Detective Bobby Dershowitz decided to get hitched. Bitch or not, when he showed up in the office to personally ask her and Marshall Mann to be at and in the wedding, she said yes with no hesitation. The intense black man was one of the few LEOs that she liked and other than herself, he was Marshall's best friend. Besides, she owed him big. He had been crucial in getting her out of Spanky's Basement of Horrors and he didn't tattle to Stan about the whole Sex with Cowboy in the SUV incident.

So, after a wedding that made even her tear up and a sumptuous feast, Mary was smack dab in the middle of the dance floor…and loving it. Her blonde locks were loose and wild, unraveled from its braided bun. The gypsy like hem on her deep maroon bridesmaid dress was flaring everywhere as Marshall spun her rapidly and she couldn't stop smiling. A matching brilliant grin was on his face and she willingly let him dip her to the floor, much to the raucous delight of the crowd. The applause nearly shook the floor and she smiled at the pink tint to her Cowboy's cheeks. Being with a humble man was a welcome change of pace…

"Jesus, you'd think they've never seen two people dancing before." she quipped as they made their way back to the head table for a breather.

Marshall merely kissed her on the brow before plopping back into his seat.

"Y'all are killing it out there! You're making me and Bobby look bad!" Wedad Dershowitz nee Kingston declared happily as she sipped at a tumbler of scotch.

Wedad was ABQ PD's equivalent of Eleanor Prince. She could dig up anything on anyone, which is how they met. With the recent influx of drug dealers and vagabonds, the Powers that Be had been checking out suspicious residents, leading to one of Mary's wayward witnesses. The brassy Arabic woman had proved to be sensible yet cut from the same cloth of crazy she was. She wasn't looking for a pissing match and she had even helped them wrangle said idiot witness. Plus, she was a hell of a shot, up there with her Cowboy. It was an instant friendship, a friendship that had caused Mary to "accidentally" leave Wedad's number on Bobby D.'s desk, along with a head shot from her modeling days.

The rest, as they say, is history.

"Then get back out there and give 'em a show. He's starting to look like a lost puppy, anyway." Mary replied with a nod towards the gaggle of Dershowitz and Kingston men.

A near manic grin lit up Wedad's face and she darted to her new husband, yanking him towards the now belly dancing masses. Bobby shot her an amused yet reproachful look and Mary shook with laughter as he ended up in a sandwich with Wedad's crazy grandparents…

Slowly, a finger followed the passage of a sweat drop down her bare shoulder. Mary shivered and turned her attention back to an oddly quiet Marshall. As soon as she met his gaze, she gulped.

Well, well…seems like my counterpart likes weddings too. Say goodbye to your special occasion undies, Cowgirl because it seems that Marshall's beast has plans for their demise, her inner voice purred happily.

Mary wouldn't miss them too much if the look in his now stormy eyes was any indication. But…

"There are little kids here! Not to mention our boss…" she hissed with a meaningful glance at the lively game of freeze tag taking up the back of the dance floor.

A slow predatory smirk curved his lips and Mary felt her core twitch as he stood them up.

"Stan went to 'get some fresh air' with Eleanor 45 minutes ago. He can't talk. I do agree with you on the other issue, though. Younglings shouldn't see what I want to do to you. Come with me."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes at the Star Wars allusion but she willingly followed him out of the rented hall and up the curving mahogany staircase. He was looking good enough to eat. His hair was wild and falling into his eyes rakishly. He had ditched the tuxedo jacket and tie and had left his dress shirt unbuttoned to reveal a slate colored undershirt, an undershirt that was now clinging to him like a second skin. Even after nearly 2 years of coupledom, Mary couldn't get over just how hot his body was. It also made her want to smack herself for not realizing it sooner. Granted, her idiocy with Raph had been the falcon punch that had freed Grendel and Marshall but still, she could've had a man who actually loved her all over her much sooner!

A surprised squeak escaped her as he pressed her against a wall but his tongue cut off any complaint she may have come up with. The corridor they were in was dark and quiet, none of the halls being used, and she was burning for him. With work and wedding plans, they hadn't been able to touch each other for a week, something that they despised. Mary was determined to make up for it.

Marshall's nimble fingers unzipped her dress and soon, she was standing in front of him in nothing but a scarlet red thong. The fabric was immediately disposed of in his typical way and pocketed, the impish grin on his face sending eager shivers down her spine. She shucked off his dress shirt and undid his pants, reaching for his throbbing cock. God, she needed this!

Their lips met hungrily and she slid her hands under his shirt, moaning as he entered her to the hilt. They would have to be quick and dirty but that was what they were best at. After all, their first time had been on the conference room table…

"…so beautiful…so hot and tight…never get enough of you…" he moaned into her ear between nibbles.

Mary moaned softly and constantly as they found their familiar rhythm, feeling like she was going to be split in two. Her knees were shaking and only his solid grip on her hips kept her upright. Marshall's eyes blazed possessively as he pulled her even closer to him and she reconnected their lips, swallowing his harsh moan as she bit lightly at his tongue. Their entwined hands slammed against the wall harshly and she bit back a loud cry as she came, taking him with her with a stifled groan of her name.

Her head spun as he helped her back into her dress and dazedly, she put his dress shirt on, leaving it unbuttoned.

"If anyone asks, I got cold. If anyone asks again, it's there because you tried to screw me through a wall and I'm still cold." she informed him impishly.

Marshall chuckled and looked at her with heavily lidded eyes.

"You know damn well what seeing you in my clothes does to me, Mary. You are in for it when get home." he warned her in a voice that reminded her of heated honey.

Mmmm…Cowboy and heated honey…sounds pretty appetizing to me…, her mind leered, making her smirk.

Instead of replying, she maturely stuck her tongue out at him and headed back towards the festivities, adding a sultry sway to her hips.

Knowing him, he would take every inch of her defiance out of her hide and she shivered in anticipation.

Maybe weddings weren't so bad, after all.