**Disclaimer I do not own R&I**
It is claimed that not everyone dreams in color. It is believed that some may dream much as a dog views the world, in black and white. It is said that this occurs due to many complexities, mainly psychological, physiological, which one such as Dr. Maura Isles could easily explain within seconds, probably using a higher vocabulary than an English professor. Now dreams may go sour within a moment. Detective Jane Rizzoli knows this. Living a nightmare in both her reality and her subconscious is something she is used to.
"Mau-"
That's when it hits her.
No, the queen of the dead literally hits her, along with some of her nightmares and dreams rolled into one.
A purposeful slap to the face was prominently faced upon her leaving with it a red mark indentation of the doctor's healing hands.
"Now that's irony." Jane retorts shock still somewhat prominent.
"What detective? That you could not "deduce" your way into my mind. Play the same game with me as your criminals?" Maura was livid, not even coming up with a coherent answer.
"Oh look at that! Look who is talking about mind games, the prominent doctor with a degree. Trust me you know way more about that than I ever would.
What I really meant is that I know how soft and gentle those hands can be, how they can help when needed-"
Jane is on a rant when the good doctor interrupts.
"Shut up!" Maura answers "You are nothing but a fatue! You want to talk about mind games? Talk about Casey that's all he is doing with you right now, playing mind games!"
"Ha, oh look it's the loser who knows Latin. You brought it up Dr. Isles! Speaking of which Casey? Casey?! We were not even discussing him when you decided to resort to physical violence. We were talking about…"
"Hope! I know! MY decision to let Hope take me to Africa to do studies with her alongside Ian! Which, investigator, in case you were wondering, I have been totally confused about how answer."
And in that moment everything hits Jane. It hits her more than the baseball when she was in 3rd grade. More than never being able to play the piano as she once did after Hoyt. More than Hoyt himself and the hundreds of nightmares she had of him, killing her dreams. Jane had reacted badly calling Ian names not letting Maura explain.
"Maura - I-"
"You what Jane?" She questioned as ice filled her voice.
"You won't come back. You have always been slumming with us and you won't come back."Jane was defeated in her tone. The "to me" being was implied as she spoke.
"I didn't come here to talk, not like this, so when you want to apologize for your irrational thinking I'll be here."
"That's just it! You won't!" Anger now rose in the detective "You will not be here! Not if you go to Africa! You act like no one gives you the time of day. No one cares about the real you, but you run. You don't give chances. Hiding behind statistics and science saying that no one could care because it has not been proven- and now you're going to run off? Unprepared?-that's not the per-"
Maura sighed.
"Not the person I know Jane?" She finished her sentence for her growing tired of fighting and yelling and slapping, just growing tired. "Well that's just it. The person I know would have never said yes to Casey either. She would have realized in the second after the proposal that it was covered with emotional blackmail, it was not a great love. He made you choose life or death for him! Being a soldier and being hurt the way he has he would have known you could not let him go back into combat. Maybe we just don't know each other like we used to. Maybe that's why I need to leave. You obviously just gave me the answer I needed, the consent through your actions. I was going to speak with you Jane that was always my aim. Work with you as we always have. We were always good together. The constant for me here, which is you Jane, is changing. It is just like the variables in my experiments. Funny thing is you did push me away. You didn't let me say I was still wandering, and wondering upon my reply. Then you said you were getting-"
She could not make out the word married if her life depended on it.
"You said that your answer was yes."
"Muar…" Now Jane felt regretful and that heavy heart felt more prominent from the cheek which had become numb a while before.
"If you had said something to me it could had been different. If you had listened to what I had to say before acting it would have changed the results. I wanted love; I wanted family and home, here, in Boston." Maura had to get her emotions out at one or not at all.
"You are my best friend Maura! What did you want from me? What DO you want from me? Huh? What did you want? You want me to push you up against the table?"
Jane talked and acted roughly with Maura doing as she said. Rizzoli cornered her as if she were a perpetrator against the doctor's autopsy table which so happened to be empty.
"Kiss you? Squeeze you? Love you—you know I love you. I have never said it but you know it is true!"
Maura reacted. She played and toyed coming closer to the detective.
"I wanted you to change the game. Then I did not want you to. We were comfortable, and you changed the game. And now we are so close...
I was there for Hoyt, for the Boston strangler, you, shooting yourself. We moved passed Doyle. We moved passed broken hearts. We always came back to each other. "
Maura was fighting against Jane's slight hold which now had some tenderness, never enough to hurt her.
That's when it happened. Their faces inches apart. Their phones buzz. They break apart.
"Isles"
"Rizzoli, yeah."
Both take a professional approach and change their voices immediately. It is all they know how to do.
"Oh it was a rushed emergency call to the scene?" Inquires the doctor as normal as usual.
"You had to leave without me?" Jane states.
"Yes, we are in the morgue we can be at the site ASAP."
Both hang up.
"We will discuss this later after I drive us to the scene." the oldest Rizzoli sibling tries to make amends taking a softer tone much like the earlier gentler touch.
"No, we won't. I will take my own car and will see you at the crime detective." The coldness which was about to thaw is back with vengeance.
"Fine I cannot control you, never could!" The shout from the low vibrato echoes the room.
"Fine, then leave me be. Like I told your mother, I'm used to being alone." She is tired once again.
Jane storms out, and Maura does not follow. Riding the elevator, towards the main exit, just as the doors are about to close shut she throws her phone against the elevator wall.
It is only 11:30 A.M.; she had planned on a full day of paperwork. She wanted there to be easiness, a flow that she somehow always found even in the hard times. This was far from easy.