Summary: It takes a long time for him to realize this because he has ignored such a possibility, but he knows now. Nothing excuses the fact that the normally emotionless chess piece, the Reaper, has finally moved on its own. [Gen-fic, family-esque-fic? Slight AU.]
Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Ghoul.
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Kishou is not blind. He can see the world for how it is.
It would be hard to do so in a reality clouded by prejudice and unspoken rules, but he can; after all Kishou is the hunter of ghouls, the Reaper. Nothing bares the truth quite like a brush of death.
Everything that made up their world of white and black is no more than an excuse; both sides of the world like to elude themselves, thinking themselves standing in the woe, but Kishou does not think so. They are both the same, truly and utterly. Species mercilessly slaughtering each other, scorning without reason, tricking and lying and betraying - shouting and hating across a sea of differences and misunderstandings.
Kishou never voices his thoughts aloud, though. It is not that he fears people's opinion, or their labels of 'ghoul sympathizer' and ridicule. He knows that even if he were to voice it out that CCG would not discharge him because he's the strongest in their midst. He also knows that it would be useless to get a word out, to begin with.
Time passes and Kishou washes his hands in red, watching but never trying to help cease the crossfire so easily visible to his eyes.
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Kishou ponders over many things as the world goes around him, with wolves in wolves' clothing and wolves in sheep' clothing, and listens as they scream and cry in mercy, while cheers and laughter poisons the air behind him like toxic. Kishou never hesitates in his killings, despite the knowledge that ghouls aren't as public thought them to be. It just...
He doesn't doubt that if he had been born a ghoul, meant to kill CCG investigators and humans for survival, that the outcome would be the same - he would not pity or take mercy on whoever stood opposite of himself. If he had been a ghoul, he would also stay silent, and watch, and kill. The only difference would be the added trickery needed to survive.
There is no difference.
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He watches as the death count of bodies piles up each day. He watches Investigators leaving the quarters and return haunted and bitter, or not return at all. He watches what little ghoul sympathizers there are get ridiculed and silenced by society. He watches the One-Eyed Owl miserably rising to make a society for ghouls by waging war and eventually succumbing to madness. He watches the friend of the missing student sneak around and try to cover the tracks of ghouls before ultimately failing.
Kishou watches, and ponders, and doesn't move a finger for either side.
...It could be considered cruel, wouldn't it? And traitorous, too.
However, he disagreed, because, wasn't he doing the same as everyone?
If such a thing is considered cruel, then, pray tell, what's the complete and utter antonym of such action? Kishou sees what people cannot see, but that does not, in any way, make him a saint who thrives in strangers' happiness. In fact, Kishou firmly believes that those powerhouses causing chaos to both societies always had selfish motives for their actions; one never got that strong on such ridiculous and naive whim alone.
There are laws in their world, and although Kishou is the Reaper, he is but a mere piece in the grand chessboard of ghouls and humans. There's no reason for him to betray his side for the other; he is not their babysitter, or their saviour, or their hope for a rebellion or any of the sort.
He is born and trained to be what he is today, and he has no reason to do so otherwise.
The world is black, white and red; and in the end, Kishou is only the Reaper. A murderer to ghouls and a protector to humanity.
Nothing more nothing less.
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When Kishou is handed the files of the missing student (in hopes he would bring the case to an end, supposedly, but Kishou knows better) he takes a pause as something in the picture captures his attention.
He doesn't understand why he finds himself intensely staring at the file in his hands but he can't seem to brush it off like he would do - does - with everything else.
He knows the slightest thing catches his rapt attention. It's exactly how he recognizes liars and the wolves beneath human flesh. It's how he scopes around Tokyo for his potential targets, by catching on the way they consume human food and the body language. It's also how Kishou has come to have the views he has now, by watching and studying human and ghoul nature and comparing everything.
With that same mindset that dissected the differences of two races and turned the views over, Kishou folds his Testament and puts it away (like he always does), and instead turns to study the file over and over with an intensity that vaguely startles him.
Something in Kishou stirs every time he glances at the picture of Kaneki Ken, but he doesn't figure what even after hours pass and it's time for him to head to the 20th Ward for the Operation.
Kishou shakes his head and locks those thoughts for another time. It is time for the Reaper to step up, and he has no need for distractions when spilling blood.
...
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Kishou tilts his head and watches the ghoul stumbling through the field of death.
He is young, with white hair and black nails, average height and lithe body toned with muscles. His mask is gone, and Kishou finds himself closely studying the face that contorts as he mutely stares at the mountain of corpses in growing horror. He looks largely different from the boy in the reports, but at the same time familiar; Kishou's memory is rarely wrong nevertheless, so he recognizes who this is.
Kishou studies the boy as he did many times to the files sitting innocently back at his quarters, but sees no more than tragedy and misery in the form of Mukade.
And for some reason that inspection makes his stomach churn unpleasantly. There's an unfamiliar feeling in his gut the longer he stares at Mukade, in no way related to sickness or wounds he knows of, and that startles Kishou.
In no less than a second, the boy is screaming shrilly as Narukami lodges itself in his eye.
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...
...
Later, later, something in Kishou clicks as he stares at Mukade, babbling poems and a hole where an eye used to be while eight tentacles lash out in a crazy frenzy.
In the instant it takes for his attention to wander and snap back, Mukade's kagune strikes out, and a thin shallow line soon appears on Kishou's cheek. Not enough to draw blood, not yet, but as small as it is, Kishou notices the skin slicing open, even if the feeling is such one he has not felt in a long time.
Something bubbles in his gut, and Kishou's lips thin.
He raises his Narukami and jams it through the spasming boy's other eye.
The boy stills.
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...
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Kishou knows now what caught his attention when he came across the file.
Another intense inspection of his unofficial charge brings a realization that stirs in Kishou. Something akin to a three-story building drops on his head, as he stares at the very familiar features of the sleeping boy for the forty-seventh time, and he wonders.
He can only theorize that he has not realized until now because he has ignored such possibility. Kishou is a man of work through and through, and rarely does he spend time outside of it, after all. But he acutely remembers the few, few times he did, and can see the familiarity between one particular time and this.
Kaneki Ken, the assuredly human boy turned ghoul, given the epithet of Mukade, and—...
...recently discharged from CCG's care, suspected to have gone through immense physical harm, amputation, and mental stress; officially printed in paper as weapon of CCG against ghouls—
It would not do.
Kishou stands up and swiftly makes his way to the missions' room.
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"Use any means to hold him on leash, Arima-san. And at first indication of rebellion, you know what to do."
"Understood."
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The CCG's top are chagrined with his method of corraling their 'attack dog', but they can't do anything to refute it in the face of Arima Kishou.
'How ridiculous.'
Oh, they don't voice their thoughts, but Kishou sees their anger, disgust and vanity easily. They had not agreed with his proposal at first, and it took some time to ease them into it but he did it. Not only did the way they had done before made it more viable for the boy to find out the truth, this way it made everything easier. Gave them more ground to stand.
It doesn't mean they like it and they order him to eliminate the target if it ever pose any danger.
('Fools,' the thought is not kind and contains no little comtempt and coldness. It is not the first time he has thought this.)
Kishou lets go of the sharpened pencil and hands over the papers that would make their little story believable.
Then he excuses himself and leaves the room before he can entertain the passing thought of the twenty-three different ways he could have killed his associates with his pencil.
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"Your name is Sasaki Haise," Kishou tells him, contemplating for a fraction of a second before continuing, "You can call me your father."
Kishou has prepared an entire story full of bullshits and lies, but there is one truth hidden behind the thickest layer of lie.
You can call me your father.
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The Reaper is powerful, yes, but he's nothing more than a chess piece in the game between ghouls and humans. The Reaper is emotionless and apathetic, and has always finished his job as a dog of humanity.
He knows One-Eyed King. He knows S-ranks and SS-ranks and SSS-ranks. He knows monsters who hunger for flesh and blood. He knows siblings dying together and pitiful parents begging for their children's lives. He knows vengeful wraiths uselessly trying to avenge the dead. He knows those who have lost everything and seek death by destruction and bloodpath.
He knows blood and pain and death.
It wouldn't make sense for him to do anything different when faced with another ghoul, would it?
It's an entirely different thing when faced with his own blood, as bizzare as such a reason is.
It is the first time the Reaper moves on his own. That alone stands for something great.
The fact that the legacy of the Reaper shares nature and blood with ghouls is another thing to note.
This turned out worse than I thought. :S
Also I am not keeping up with Tokyo Ghoul Re: and didn't even read the entire manga of TG, though I read many chapters of it. I'm still rather unsure whether I really should've posted this thing. But then again letting it gather dust and eventually forget it in the box when I spent some time on it is...
This sucks and I'm not going to deny it. But I still love it. It and the ongoing FemHarryxKaneki thing I have in my tiny brain. Cof.
Sad fact in life, I suck at tragedic things too.
~TenraiTsukiyomi