Title: Teardrops on Roses
A/N: Kitty here! Sora is currently somewhere else so I have to write this part by myself! Anyway, this is our first fanfic, so you're welcome to flame. I'm not particularly satisfied with it myself, so some constructive criticism would be nice. That way I can make the second chapter better! Oh and btw, this is based on the Veggie!Ed ending of Bluebird's Illusion. Look it up on wikipedia if you want to know what that is, but you don't really need to know for this story so...on with the fic!
Disclaimer: Wah! I don't own fma :( but I can dream can't I?
Chapter 1: Living a Lie
Alphonse Elric was a terrible liar.
He always would be, especially when it came to his brother, Edward. And he couldn't help but face the facts as he sat down to write yet another letter, a response full of false hope and naïve optimism. "Dear General," he began, and he paused before neatly drawing a line through 'General' after realizing that Mustang hadn't been a General for nearly three months now.
Although Roy had been easily promoted to the ridiculously busy position of Fuhrer after the death of King Bradley, and Al hadn't been anywhere near Central city since then, the man somehow kept up a steady flow of correspondence with the younger Elric. Letters that Al suspected the lazy Gen-, Fuhrer wrote when he was supposed to be doing large quantities of inescapable paperwork.
Al shook his head when he realized where his thoughts had gone; he needed to stop wandering off like that. People might confuse him with Ed. He chuckled bitterly at that piece of dark humor. After all, his brother hadn't done anything but stare blankly ahead ever since…well, since Ed's selflessness had caught up with him.
At this, he glanced back at the bed behind him in the small room they shared. Subconsciously, he knew that Ed was awake. He felt uneasy, the way he always did when alone with Edward nowadays, and wanted to confirm his suspicions.
It was as if he was hoping to find some change in his brother's demeanor. Anything, anything at all that might give inkling to what lay beyond the glassy, lonesome bronze pools that had become of Edward's once vibrant amber stare. His eyes flickered upwards to meet his brother's, and his heart sank. There was nothing.
Although it was nearly the crack of dawn, Edward sat straight in his bed, staring unseeingly at the opposite peach wall, clothed in cotton baby blue pajamas with his hair frizzed and loose. I should probably brush it, Al thought absently. Ed blinked once, but there was not even a flicker of life behind the dull orbs, and Al merely sunk deeper into despair at the sight of his brother's deteriorating form.
The problem wasn't lack of nutrition, since Al made sure to feed Ed and give him water, but he could do nothing to exercise Ed's unused muscles. His body just wasn't accustomed to sitting around and doing nothing and it was unsettling to Al especially, seeing him this way. This was why he'd started looking for a cure from day one.
Alphonse researched and researched; medical journals, novels, and just about anything he could get his hands on, always checking his sources twice and once more for good measure. He'd even dabbled in medical alchemy, a controversial science that bordered on human transmutation. Still, he found little that could help and reported his meager findings to Mustang in their almost daily conversations.
But Al never told anyone just how low the chance of Ed's recovery was; he'd hire the occasional nurse or therapist and was told the same thing each time, but still he denied the statistics he'd been fed. He couldn't lose hope just because others had.
Then, when letters such as the ones Mustang sent him came, casually asking him how his research was going while slyly prying into his life in an effort to see just what he was hiding, he'd craft fake results and happiness and send the letter back with about as much sincerity as a sobbing crocodile. Of course, though he didn't realize it at the time, this only gave them even more reason to worry.
Al shook his head yet again. He really was getting distracted today. Exasperated, he glanced back down at the empty page in front him. It glared brightly back at him. He supposed that the fact that he had allowed himself a peek at Ed had scattered his thoughts somewhat, and decided in seconds that he should take a break, maybe go downstairs and get a snack.
As he stood to stretch, popping his back and arms, he glimpsed the sun rising up over the horizon, dark clouds in the distance promising a coming storm. Winry and Pinako would be up soon; this was their home after all. With a sigh, he walked to the stairs, glancing briefly at his brother before walking down.
"Good morning, Al." Winry greeted the younger Elric happily; it was good to see him downstairs in the morning for once.
She wasn't stupid though. She quickly noticed how his shoulders tensed when he heard her greeting from behind him, and knew the truth instantly. He had hoped she was still asleep. "Good morning, Winry." He shifted uncomfortably when he had turned to face her, fake smile in place already.
She sighed inwardly; why couldn't he just show his feelings? It was obvious how depressed he was, what with his constant need to be alone and the reluctant glee he felt he had to muster whenever anyone was around. Everyone knew that Al couldn't lie, so why did he try to anyway?
Still, she smiled back with just enough sincerity to make him believe he had fooled her. She just wanted him to be happy after all. He seemed satisfied with her small acknowledgement and smiled a little easier before turning to the fridge.
She waited awkwardly in silence, fidgeting as he pulled the small carton of milk from the fridge and a bowl and box of cereal from a cabinet. When he started walking to the table, she found the courage to speak first. "So…how's the research going?" Winry had been desperate for conversation; she cursed inwardly at the first topic she'd thought of. Al flinched, and then tried to cover it up by smiling broadly; a tight smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Great…I discovered something new on anatomical structure of the brain from some old research journals the other day…." He shifted uneasily in his seat, and she suddenly felt guilty for causing it. Stupid, she thought, why'd I have to ask that question? Stupid, stupid! She eyed him apologetically, trying to communicate the guilt she felt for picking at such a sensitive subject.
"It's alright, Winry. You don't have to avoid things like that if you're curious." Al stared down at his untouched breakfast, embarrassed. "Besides, I'm making real progress in medical alchemy, so it's not as though I don't want to talk about it." Al's words eased her guilt, true, but she couldn't help but feel that he'd only said them for her benefit.
"You'd best not try your hand in that, boy." Alphonse froze, suddenly apprehensive. Winry wondered briefly why Pinako's words would trouble him so. The younger Elric turned to face the old woman, his face beaming but his eyes hard.
"What makes you say that, Granny?" His eyes danced in a sudden flash of lightening. Was that a challenge that Winry heard in his voice?
Pinako's forehead creased into a frown. "You know exactly what I'm talking about Alphonse." Her voice and eyes softened slightly. "Human transmutation isn't the answer. You of all people should know that."
Winry gasped slightly. Human transmutation? He was planning on trying that again? "Al! How could you try human alchemy?!? Especially when it caused all of this!"
Al glared heatedly at her and the force of his reply took her words away. "Ed threw away his life to get my body back, Winry. If I ignored a possible cure, then how could I ever face him?" Winry's renewed glare fiercely matched his own.
"If you did the same for Ed, then how would that honor his sacrifice? Would you two just keep bringing each other back until there was nothing left of either of you?!?" Her voice shook with overflowing emotion, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. There was a clap of thunder and Al was suddenly on his feet, his voice shaking with rage.
"If that's what it takes then I'm damn well prepared to make that sacrifice!" Winry's eyes widened and she sank to her knees, shocked by the cutting edge to Al's reply. He'd never raised his voice or cursed at her before, but now he'd done both. His breath was ragged, and he coughed hard into his hand as the rain began to fall.
Pinako looked from Al to Winry, her eyes growing somber as she watched her family breaking apart at the seams. She knew that this would happen eventually; ever since Al had brought Edward home, a shell of the person he once was, she had been wary. Now she could see only one solution to the problem.
She cleared her throat, steadying herself for the speech she was about to give. "Alphonse." One word. One word had him turning his fiery gaze to her, the unspoken response there. She licked her lips to moisten them.
"If this is becoming…" she racked her brain for a good word. "…an obsession," she paused, assessing the sudden calm she saw on Al's face. He wasn't going to like what she would say next. "Then I suggest we get rid of the problem." His face became a veritable storm of emotions, confusion at her statement, then shock, disgust, and a quickly heating rage that was no doubt fueled by disbelief at what she was proposing.
"Do you mean to tell me that you think Edward, my only living relative, has become an obsession? That you want to get rid of him?!?" His voice was forcibly calm, cracking near the end due to an uncontrollable repulsion he now felt for Winry's grandmother.
"In so many words, yes. You must know by now that he has little chance of recovery, Alphonse. And his presence here is only straining you and this household." Pinako's face remained stoic, years of practice coming into play as she suppressed the pain of loss she felt.
She knew what would happen to Ed if Al agreed; she had taken part in that process more times than she'd care to admit. She even remembered how she had thought the families involved at the time cruel, although she now knew that it had been out of necessity that they allowed their relatives to die.
Al however was positively horrified. Surely, Winry can't agree to this, he thought, Ed's as much her brother as mine! But Al found himself doubly shocked as a tear-eyed Winry stood shakily next to Pinako, saying something that had no meaning to him.
"…and you don't know if he's in pain or not, Al. It seems so much more humane to put him to rest this way, rather than just letting him live his life the way he is now." Al felt the salty liquid stinging his own eyes as he saw the logic in his family's words; but he angrily blinked the tears away before facing them, his own attachment to Ed getting in the way.
"Stop it! You're talking about Ed as if he's already dead to the world!" Pinako's eyes softened once again, seeing the pain and desperation hidden underneath Al's words. "Alphonse. You're being terribly selfish. I know this is hard, but you have to understand. You know Ed better than anyone, so tell me: would Edward want to keep living if all he could do was to eat or sleep?" Al's eyes dropped to the floor; Pinako was right and he knew it. But he just couldn't, he wouldn't accept her words.
"Well, since brother and I are related by blood, nothing happens to him unless I say it can." He met Pinako's gaze again, eyes determined and blazing. The rain started to pour harder. Winry turned to her grandmother, sobbing into her shoulder as Al refused to see the awful truth. "Can't you see Al? He's not coming back! Why can't you just move forward, like he would want you to?!?"
Al averted his eyes to hide his resurfacing tears. "I'm so disgusted that you would even consider killing Ed that I think I've lost my appetite." With that said, he swiftly deposited his still full bowl into the sink and walked calmly upstairs, leaving his broken family to stare after him. There was a single flash of lightening and he was gone. Pinako sighed in the silence.
"I hope he knows what he's doing…."
When Al reached his and Ed's room, he instantly buried his face into the sheets of Edward's bed, letting loose the tears he had held in during the entire conversation in muffled sobs and gasps. He longed for his brother's voice, any words of advice or comfort that could aid him in his time of need. But as always, there was none.
"Brother, I need your help. I don't know what to do anymore." He gripped the sheets tightly in his fist as he remembered Pinako's words. "It's as though Winry and Granny don't see you at all the way I see you…they just see a burden that weighs down the family, not my brother, the hero of the people." Al sniffled, and was surprised to find himself coughing violently into his hand seconds later.
The splotch of crimson left on his palm afterwards had him looking back up to Edward, fear vivid in his eyes. "I…I can't believe…." He stared, incredulous, at the stain for what seemed like hours but was truly only a few seconds; his thoughts chaotic in his mind. A clap of thunder outside jolted him back to the present.
Hurriedly, he strode to his desk, deciding to get as much research done today as possible. After all, who knew how much time he had left?
me: Well? What did you think? Tell me in a review!! If I get five I'll make this a twoshot!