Damn it! Not again! No…No! Stop this. Somebody please. Stop this….urghh…pain. Pain. Raw Pain. I can't. I just can't. It felt like I was being attacked with sharp knives, plunging into me over and over again. All over my body. I wanted to gasp, scream, somehow relieve this…whatever it is that I'm feeling right now. The pain intensifies. I could feel it burning in me, slow flickering flames travelling leisurely down my blood vessels. Was one person built to endure such pain? I need relief. Dear Merlin, I need relief. It's obvious that I'm under some spell that prevents me from surrendering to unconscious bliss.
Who would do that? I grit my teeth hard barely noticing the metallic taste in my mouth. Of course I know who would do that. Who is doing that. I glare at him. It was a pitiful gesture. The maniac started laughing. Even his laugh is deranged. Why did I ever agree to work for such a bastard? Oh that's right. Mother. My chest constrict as I think of her. The physical…mental…whatever pain this curse caused suddenly dimming in contrast to this new pain. Fuck dammit. Get a grip. Don't think about her. Shit. It's as if I can see her face, see her lifeless eyes staring up at me. Her mouth gaping open, her body sprawled against me. She had died in my arms. Protecting me. Defending me. Fuck fuck fuck. I curse as the pain intensified. I stock the memory away to a more secure area in my messed up brain. There would be time to grieve, if I get through this.
"Draco Draco Draco" His voice. His sleazy voice. I stare up at him, realizing that I was not feeling such intense pain anymore. The-Bastard-Who-Won't-Die twirled his wand in his arm as he slithered towards me. His face twisted into a crazy smirk, his blood red eyes hard.
"Has no one ever taught you to behave? To not go against your mentor? Me?" He whispers. From the distance I could hear Bellatrix laugh. My Aunt Bellatrix! If I could I would have smirked at the absurdity of it all. Her sister had died, her nephew is being tortured right in front of her and she… she laughs. What a great aunt.
"Answer me, boy!" Voldermort's wand grazed my chin as he threatened me. Knowing that it would be stupid, not to mention dangerous, knowing that I really didn't care about whatever consequences my action will bring about, I spit at him. That's right. I, Draco Malfoy, spat at the great dark load.
For a second, Voldermort's eyes hardened but then his face twisted into the maddening smile. "Silly boy" He said smiling down at me. I resist the urge to lower my gaze down. Instead I stare directly into his eyes, challenging him. I wasn't scared. No, I wasn't. After all, what has one got to lose when he has already lost everything? It seems like I have stopped fearing pain. Stopped fearing Voldermort. Stopped fearing death. No, death would almost be gratifying right now. I pull on an aloof mask on me making sure that I don't disclose the mental turmoil that I'm having right now.
"Bella" Voldermort said as he moved past me. Aunt Bellatrix crackled with laughter. Before he left the cell that I was currently occupying he waved his wand and...oh…Pain…
"Oh Drakie! Aunt Bella has something for you" Out of respect for my mother, she was my mother's sister however mental that said sister is, I resist the urge to spit at her. Funny how leaving a man wandless and bound to a chair can resort him to do only one thing. Spit.
Without waiting for me to say anything Bellatrix pointed her wand at me. "Crucio!" Great…
The effect of the curse on top of the pain with which Voldermort left me with turned out too much for me. Without my consent, hell I wasn't aware when the tortured screams left my lips. Death oh please…kill me…I want to die… Death. I kept on repeating the chants in my head. I want to escape this. Escape this…shit…that's my life. Help me. Aunt Bella. "AAARGHH!" I felt like I was being skinned alive. No, someone was peeling of my skin. Muscle by muscle, tissue by tissue…whoever it is, is doing a good job at removing all the muscles in my arms. It's all in my head. I try to remind myself. It's all in my head. No one is peeling of my skin.
"Draco Love" Aunt Bella. I open my eyes. Who was screaming? I stop, belatedly realizing that it was me. The pain has dulled, even though it was still there.
"You know that you can't defy the Dark Lord. Ask forgiveness from him…come back to our side…I'm sure he will forgive you" Bellatrix muttered. Her head tilted to one side, she regarded me curiously, waiting for my answer, her wand held between her teeth.
"NEVER" I reply, venom intensifying my voice.
"Well then…" She pointed her wand at me and grinned. A lesser man would have cowered by fear seeing her grin. I didn't. I stared straight into her eyes.
"Crucio" Fuck. It was almost too hard to bear. Too fucking hard. I can't…I just…
"Malfoy" Someone hissed.
I grumbled. I don't want to open my eyes. I don't have strength. I need sleep.
"Malfoy" Someone was shaking me. I ignore them. "Malfoy, fuck. Open your eyes" Who would talk like that? Well whoever it is can just go…
"Malfoy I know you're awake. If you don't open your eyes I swear that I will kick your sorry ass"
Curiosity got the better of me. I open my eyes and instantly regret doing so. My head feels like it is pummeled by a dozen of giants. Ow. Trying to ignore the agonizing headache, I try to focus on the figure kneeling beside me. Potter! Well it's about time.
"Finally" He mumbled. I didn't say anything. "We tried to come as soon as we could. What with the Anti-apparation charm in your house it is very difficult to enter undetected" He kept on complaining.
"Where are they?" I ask thinking about dear Aunt Bellatrix.
"Hermione and Ron are still fighting them. I will get you out of here and then come back for them" He explained.
"No" I refuse, my mind instantly thinking of a particular bushy haired know-it-all. "I'm not going when both of their lives are in danger" I try to explain to Potter. He looked at me with that curious look on his face. Potter thinks too fucking much.
"Since when did you start caring about Hermione and Ron?" He asked, amused.
"I don't" I reply.
"So let me handle everything" He shrugged.
"Since when did you start taking care of me?" I ask smirking.
"Since you knocked on my door that night, all battered and wounded telling me that you want to switch sides. Since you let me into your head through Legimency and I saw how truly fucked up your life is." He reply back almost instantly.
"Gee thanks" I grumbled. He chuckled and held onto me. I try to prepare myself for the uncomfortable gut wrenching feeling that comes along with apparation. I wasn't ready. Potter was able to apparate me directly from inside as I was still a Malfoy and so would not be detected if apparated from within the Malfoy Manor.
As soon as we appeared in front of Burrows, I start to feel sick. Damn apparition. Holding onto Potter, hating being so weak, I went inside the Burrows where the rest of the red head clan awaited.
"Oh dear" Mama red head took hold of my hand as she led me towards my temperory room. A room which I share with Potter and Weaselbee. Damn Weasleys.
"Rest dear. I'll bring some soup for you in a while." I nod while I lay down on my bed. I couldn't help but worry about Granger. Merlin I hope that she didn't get under the clutches of Bellatrix. I try not to worry and instead focus on Granger. Her bushy hair. Her big, big deep chocolate doe eyes. How those twinkling eyes watches me. With anger. With distrust. With concern. How she chews her lips with worry. How she keeps pacing when she is impatient. How her face lights up when she smiles. She smiled like that at me once. Once was enough. That was when I saved Potter and Weaselbee for the first time. Maybe she trusts me now. I smile at the thought and close my eyes.
"Malfoy" Someone nudged me awake. I open my eyes and remind myself to breathe. In and out. Granger stood next to my bed, with a steaming bowl of soup in her hands.
"I…brought soup" She flushed. I try to move and shift to a sitting position. Granger stared at me while I did that. A small smile playing across the lips. Her sweet lips…
"What?" I ask, offended.
"You almost seem like a human being" She grinned. What?
"Am I not?" I ask bewildered.
"No, you seem always almost too perfect" She blushed sitting down on my bed, facing towards me. I try to take the bowl from her but she just shook her head. Instead she dipped the spoon in some soup and before giving me, she blew on it to make it a bit cooler. She then brought the spoon to my lips. Amazed, I open my mouth to drink it. Neither of us say a word. She kept on feeding me and I kept on staring at her. Merlin she was beautiful. Even with the smudge on her forehead and her sweater torn from various places, thanks to the fight, she looked breathtaking. After I was done drinking the soup she got up to leave, taking the bowl with her.
"Granger" I whisper.
She turned around to face me. A small smile on her lips.
"What happened in the fight?"
"I'll be back and will tell you then" She said before leaving.
Wow. Why did she feed me? Why…why is my heart beating so fast? Well… fuck. Granger opened the door ending my musings. She came and sat in the spot she previously occupied.
"We distracted the death eaters while Harry hid under the invisibility cloak. When he was sure that enough death eaters were surrounding us, Harry moved towards the cells. Then…well...he saved you"
"What happened to you?" I ask impatient to hear the rest of the story.
"We were doing fairly ok on our own. Then when Harry came it was easy to win over them. We didn't count on the rest of the death eaters to come though." Granger's face scrunched in concentration.
"Who?" I ask even as fear grip me.
"Bellatrix. And Mulciber" Damn it.
"Mulciber started fighting with Harry and Bellatrix with me and Ron"
"Did she hurt you?" I ask.
"Just a couple of stinging hexes." She said, nonchalantly. Almost too non chalantly.
"What happened?" I ask, taking hold of her hand. I have no idea why I did that. She looked at me with tear brimmed eyes.
"Ron got crucified" She whispered. Oh.
"How is he?" I ask as I squeezed her hand tightly in mine. She must be getting sick with worry.
"Alright now. I had to fire a stunning spell at her with a body binding curse." She told me almost apologetically.
Apolog…? "Shit Granger. You better not be feeling guilty" I almost shouted. Almost.
"She is your aunt!"
"My aunt who tried to kill me" I point out. I look away not wanting to look at her, sure that her eyes would show pity and grief.
"Hey" She said placing a warm hand on my cheek forcing me to look up. "It will be alright. It will all be all right" She smiled encouragingly. No it won't. But I just nod my head, my hand closing over hers wanting to keep her close. Even if it's just for comfort.
Nothing would be alright. Even if by some miracle, Potter did manage to kill Voldemort, My life would still be fucked up. I would still have his mark. My mother would still be dead. My aunt would still want to kill me. Granger would still be indifferent to me. Granger, the only hope to a slightly less fucked up life. No there would still be no hope for us. And I would still be Draco Malfoy.
"Trust me" She whispered, seeing through me.
I do. I didn't say it out loud.
We stayed like that for a while before Granger sighed. "I have to go"
"Don't go" I say before I could stop myself. She smiled at me then. "Be careful"
"About what?" I ask, losing myself in her warm eyes.
"Some may say that you're besotted. With me" She smirked. My heart beat increases.
"Some may be right, some may be not" I say, evasively. Granger's eyes lost its playfulness. Fuck, what did I do?
Still looking straight into my eyes, she closed the gap between us. What? What is she doing? When she was a hair's breath away from me, she moved slightly, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. She stayed like that for a while.
"Goodnight Malfoy" She whispered, her lips brushing against my forehead. I closed my eyes, memorizing her scent, savoring this moment. When she pulled away, she locked eyes with me again. Involuntarily, I took her hands in mine. Even if she was surprised by my actions, she didn't show it.
Staring into her eyes, I brought her hand, still wrapped in mine, to my lips. I kissed her. Softly.
"Goodnight Granger"
Something flickered, in her eyes before she concealed it with a smile. She then left the room with a hurried pace. I smile.
Maybe we do have some hope after all.