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A/N: Hello all. I'm here with a new 3 part long Puckleberry story that I just couldn't keep myself from writing. There are slight spoilers from the Glee season 2 finale titled New York, although they arent alll in context. After seeing New York I felt like Puck and Rachel needed their own Nationals love affair type thing, so I present to you with this: a Puckleberry twist to the Glee Season 2 Finale! Anyway, I worked REALLY hard on this and it would be wonderful to hear what you all think. Reviews are pretty much the air I breathe. I have like 90% of this thing finished, I just have a few minor details to adjust in the third part but I will update within a reasonable time frame. More reviews=faster update. Any typos are my own. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own glee, at all, even though I wish I could have Mark Salling all to myself ;)
Pretending
PART I
"Now all we need is a group of street singers to serenade us and it would be perfect." Rachel tells Finn but deep down she knows it isn't exactly the truth. Their work date has been special, Finn did everything right and its what she's always wanted but she cant help but notice the spark between them is gone. The fluttery feeling she used to get when Finn touched her has disappeared and all that's left is a carefully constructed illusion. And she's left wondering why.
Then suddenly, like a sign from God, his voice drifts through the air and the way Noah sings the first verse of Bella Notte makes Rachel's knees go weak. She closes her eyes and leans her head against Finn's shoulder, doing whatever she can to dispel the image of Puck's hazel-green eyes from her mind. Finn is the one who brought her out tonight, she's supposed to want to be with him, not Noah. She's not supposed to wish that the arm she's holding was more muscular and tanned or that the lips she wants to feel are more full and sometimes taste like cheap alcohol.
Artie, Sam and Mike join in and sing as they walk and Rachel wonders if maybe fate is trying to tell her something. She keeps her eyes straight ahead as her and Finn walk together but she can still feel the impulse to turn around and take Noah's rough, calloused hand in hers.
"Wait." Finn declares, bringing them to a sudden stop. "This is the moment in those romantic comedies where I kiss you."
Rachel tenses as she sees Puck walk around them, still playing his accordion as Finn holds her hands in his. She wishes Finn hadn't said a word, hadn't pointed out the obvious, because now the night is about to fall apart at her feet.
"I thought this was just a work date." she defends feebly, but she knows that won't hold up with Finn for long, if at all.
"Really?" he asks challengingly and she isn't sure what she should do. She still cares about Finn, a lot, and she doesn't want to hurt him, but what can she possibly do? This is as much a shock to her as it will be to him. She shakes her head at his question. She knew this was a date, but she thought maybe, just maybe, her and Finn could have a good time and that would be all.
But then she'd met one of her idols, Patti Lupone at Sardi's, where the star had whispered, he's cute. And all Rachel can think about is how wrong it is that she almost wanted to whisper back, Well you haven't met Noah Puckerman. Now he's cute. (That should have been an indication all by itself) and then seeing Puck as he, Artie, Sam and Mike serenade her and Finn everything finally seemed to fall into place. She's in New York, that's where she's been planning on going since she first learned how to use her vocal chords but the sad truth is: Finn is of the past.
And sure, Noah is too, kind of, but the feelings she has when she's around him aren't and that's what matters. It's what she wants now, not tomorrow or yesterday. Finn leans in a small smirk on his lips as he goes to kiss her but she looks down and pulls away.
"I can't." Rachel tells him sadly as she looks up at him with her big brown eyes, begging him silently to understand. She watches as confusion and then determination flash through his mocha colored eyes and she feels her throat close up as he pleads with her.
"Take a chance on me." Finn replies as he leans in once more but Rachel can't help but look over his shoulder at the badass mohawked Jewish boy who she shouldn't be interested in and who is singing one of her favorite Disney songs, before pulling away again.
"I'm sorry, Finn." Rachel says softly, doing the best she can to convey how sorry she really is, before backing away slowly and looking past him again. "I can't." she tells him before turning abruptly and walking down the empty New York street.
Rachel doesn't tell him why she can't or how she wishes his brown eyes were green or that he had less hair on his head and was a bit shorter, she sends one last look toward a dumbstruck Finn and a still singing Puckerman then keeps walking until the sound of Noah's voice is out of earshot. When she feels like she's as far as she's willing to go she finally stops and finds a lone stoop to sit on before swiftly breaking down and letting the tears fall.
She doesn't understand how this happened. How she went from being completely head over heels for Finn to wanting something more with one Noah Puckerman. She supposes it could be leftover feelings from when the two of them dated but she doesn't think that's quite it. All those times they were together she felt that fire, during the bad reputation stunt, the football game, the barbraventon (that she knows he had been a part of), when he asked her to have that party, when she cheated on Finn back in December. She could have easily gone to anyone to cheat on Finn with, him and Sam weren't exactly the best of friends. But why Puck? Sure, it would have made Finn upset but there was something else. Something about Noah Puckerman that always kept her coming back for more. She tries to remember when she first started feeling this way. Was it before her break up with Finn or after? Was it after he started dating Lauren or before?
She remembers being concerned for him while he was in juvie and bringing him a batch of her famous sugar cookies to cheer him up, the phone calls and the letters and then after she found about Finn and Santana when they were in her room and he was positioned over her, kissing her, touching her.
Everything is just so blurred and she can't help but want him to be there to comfort her. She doesn't get it and she can't even hope to understand it, but after a good half hour of wallowing on some random person's front stoop, she accepts it. She loves Noah Puckerman and there is absolutely nothing she can do about it.
"Yo, Rachel?" she hears someone calling in the distance and she looks up just in time to see Noah come bounding from around the corner, clearly in a rush. He catches sight of her and stops, sighing in relief before scowling at her.
"Where the hell have you been, Berry? I was waiting for you to come back to the hotel and when you never showed up… I got… we all got worried." he falls quiet as he takes in Rachel's appearance, eyes puffy and tear tracks staining her cheeks. She toys with the hem of her dress as she tries to think of what to say, but she finds herself momentarily speechless. A first.
"Oh. Sorry." she manages to let out and he scratches his mohawk and adjusting the accordion that he has swung over his shoulder as Rachel looks away awkwardly.
"Hey, are you, like, okay?" he questions sincerely as he walks over and takes a seat beside her. She shrugs and looks cautiously at him. His eyes are deep green with brown fraying at the edges and she can see the genuine concern in their hazel depths.
"I think so." she replies somewhat honestly. She isn't really sure if she is, the feeling of wanting Noah Puckerman is a somewhat surreal one, so she isn't exactly sure. She feels like she may be though. One day.
"I don't know what exactly went down with you and Finn but if he hurt you, I don't care if he's my boy or not, I'll kick his ass." Puck offers kindly and Rachel chuckles a bit before laying her hand on his bicep. It's a 'thank you' squeeze not an 'I want your body' squeeze, she promises.
"That won't be necessary, Noah." she smiles before sighing heavily. "I'm the one who hurt him." she admits and she observes the confusion pass over his face at her statement.
"What do you mean?" he questions curiously, leaning in as if its some kind of secret. Which okay, she'll admit it kind of is, but how does he know that?
"I told him no." she answers and the weight of her refusal finally settles. She refused Finn Hudson after months of pining and waiting. She denied him when he wanted her back. Again, an unreal atmosphere settles around her. Rachel tries her best to gauge Puck's reaction but his face is simply unreadable.
"Why?" he asks, startling her after a few moments of silence. His jaw is clenched and his eyes are smoldering as he waits for her answer. She regains her composure and deliberates. This is her shot, her one moment to see if he could possibly be entertaining the idea of a Puckleberry reunion, like she is. But what about Lauren? Since her arrival Rachel has done her best to become friends with and appreciate the girl since she saved them from a forfeit at sectionals. While her talent was not equal to that of herself, Mercedes or even Santana she did have a quality that none of the others possessed. So, due to her status as glee club captain she had gone out of her way to accept Lauren with open arms, in a way she wished she would have been accepted. But kissing Noah or telling him she is in love with him is crossing a line and she isn't sure she wants to do that again.
Not to mention the fact that Lauren is on the wrestling team and can probably break her in half with a flick of her wrist. Her daddies may have put her in self defense class but no amount of training could ever prepare Rachel Berry to fight someone that much bigger than her. She still has nightmares of Santana and Lauren's brief and one sided fight. If Santana could get thrown around like a rag doll, Rachel can only imagine what Lauren could do to her.
"My heart belongs to someone else." she replies, going with the safer answer. She didn't tell him it was him who her heart belongs to, she isn't blatantly lying to him nor is she wrecking anyone's relationship, so she figures that's okay. Until she hears his next question and her heart drops into her stomach.
"Who?" he questions and she wonders if its really possible that she sees desire dancing in his eyes. She takes a deep breath to calm herself and tries to think about her next move. She doesn't have many options and she's at a loss at what to do.
"He's…" she pauses, eyes widening as she feels him get closer. She can't do this, not again.
"It doesn't matter. He'll probably think I'm crazy anyway." she says quickly before standing up and looking up and down the street, unsure which way the hotel may be and desperate to figure it out.
"It's getting late. We should probably get back to the hotel, don't you think?" she prompts as she starts toward the direction she thinks may be right. But he sighs and gets up before walking over to her and putting a hand on the small of her back to turn her around.
"The hotel is this way, Rach." he tells her quietly and she blushes as heat rises through her at his touch.
"Right." she replies coolly as they make their way back to the Marriot.
"So, uh, when did you learn how to play the accordion?" Rachel wonders, trying to strike up conversation and get rid of the awkward tension that seems to permeate the air around them.
"I don't remember you ever mentioning you play." she says quietly as they walk together under the dim light of the street lights that litter their pathway. Although she should have guessed, he's awfully good with his hands, why wouldn't he be a natural? If his guitar playing is any sign of his unrelenting talent.
"I try not to." he tells her slyly and she can't help but laugh. Now there's the sly badass Jew she has uncharacteristically come to know and love, always there to break the ice even when there's a chance he could make things unbearably worse.
"Well you did a fantastic job with Bella Notte. You're delivery of the first verse was beyond satisfactory. I just wish you had more opportunities to showcase your talent. Finn and Artie and Sam are all amazing but you have such a unique and incredible voice. Your rendition of Sweet Caroline and Billy Joel's classic Only the Good Die Young was fantastic…"
"You know you're cute as hell when you ramble." he smirks at her and she feels her face warm at his compliment as they arrive at the hotel and walk into the lobby.
"Thank you, Noah. I appreciate the sentiment." she tells him gratefully, still blushing heavily as they climb into the elevator and wait patiently. Rachel's brows furrow when she notices they pass their floor and she turns to Puck curiously.
"Where are you taking me?" Rachel asks. She doesn't know what he's up to, but as always she'd like to know.
"We got two stops. First one: the concert hall on the 20th floor. I kinda borrowed this accordion without telling anyone." he tells her sheepishly before looking to the numbers climb above the sliding door.
"Noah Eli Puckerman!" Rachel shouts in dismay, slapping his arm. He stole an accordion from the music hall?
"Chill, babe. I'm bringing it back, aren't I?" he challenges and she nods in agreement. Its definitely not because he called her babe or anything.
"I suppose." she agrees and he smirks at her. "And the second stop?" she wonders, a child like curiosity invading her tone. Puck smiles smugly as the doors to the 20th floor open.
"Knew you'd want to know." he chuckles as they both get out and he runs off to give back the stolen accordion. She paces while he's gone, hoping he doesn't get caught and just when she's ready to go in and get him herself he comes strolling around the corner buttoning up his jacket.
"What took you so long?" she whispers harshly as he ushers her past the elevator and to the stairwell that leads to every floor.
"Had to grab something." he says simply as he pushes the door open and holds it for Rachel. She eyes him suspiciously as she steps through.
"Are you sure we should be doing this, Noah?" she asks nervously, leveling her gaze with his as he steps in and closes the door behind them.
"Trust me." Puck breathes. She gazes into his eyes as he stares into hers and she feels all the breath leave her lungs.
She does her best to make it seem like she doesn't want to but after a few minutes of his pouting she agrees to follow him wherever he plans on taking her. And no she isn't checking him out as he walks in front of her, that would be a complete and total lie. She's merely appreciating the view. Her curiosity burns as well as her high heel clad feet as they climb floor after floor, until eventually Puck announces they are there.
He takes her hand in his and she bites her lip as he slams open a door labeled roof access. She's two seconds away from giving him a long lecture on breaking the rules of the hotel when she sees it. The view is incredible. You can see all the lights of time square and she feels herself smiling as she looks around them.
"Wow, this is lovely." Rachel says absently as she lets the New York City atmosphere take hold of her. "Thank you." she says gratefully, her worry a distant memory as she turns to Puck and grins. He shrugs easily before reaching into his jacket and pulling out a single red rose. Her eyes widen when he holds it out to her and she takes it, marveling at the gesture.
"I saw it on one of the food carts on my way back from the concert hall, thought you'd like it." he tells her nonchalantly as if its no big deal and she nods numbly. She almost forgot how sweet he could be when he really wants to be. She doesn't say anything, just leans in and kisses his cheek even though she wishes she could do more.
After a few jokes and a little conversation on the roof they take the stairs to the closest floor before riding the elevator down together. Puck walks with her to the door, hovering beside her as she she turns to face him.
"I just wanted to thank you again, for tonight. It was…" Rachel trails off, attempting to find the right word to describe how magical the night's been.
"Awesome?" Puck provides and she nods.
"Yes." Rachel chuckles, a small smile lighting her lips. Magical would have worked too. "It was most definitely awesome."
"It's no problem, us good lookin' Jews gotta stick together." Puck shrugs. They fall quiet and he kisses her cheek shyly before quietly slipping into his room with the boys. Rachel takes a deep steadying breath before making her way inside and getting ready for bed.
It isn't until everyone's settled down and asleep does she get up to get a bottle of water and run into Santana on the way.
"I saw you with Puckerman out in the hall earlier." she whispers quietly and Rachel blushes crimson, all the while nervous that Santana might try to stir trouble.
"How?" Rachel questions and Santana shrugs.
"Britt wanted one of those doily things in the gift shop so I ran down to go pick one up for her and I saw you two." the Latina explains easily, her tone one that is reserved for all things Brittany related.
"Oh, it wasn't what it looked like." Rachel tries to defend herself but Santana isn't having it.
"Look, I don't care that you wants you some Puckerone. Truth be told, I think he's better for you than the jolly green giant anyway. At least with Puckerman you act like a semi normal person." Santana shrugs. Rachel isn't quite sure this is happening and she almost wants to pinch herself to make sure she's not dreaming.
"I, thank you I guess." Rachel stutters before sighing. "What are you getting at Santana?" she questions anxiously, usually anything involving the Latina girl usually has her crying or humiliated. Sometimes both.
"Look, all I'm saying is: I'm team Puckleberry, okay? Anything is better than him and Lauren. He's lost his balls and I rather him lose his balls to you than to her. Somehow when you ask him to do things, it makes him less pathetic compared to when Lauren forces him to do things. Catch my drift?" Santana questions and Rachel nods hesitantly. She pinches herself just to check and is assured that their conversation is actually happening.
"I think so." Rachel squeaks and Santana nods at her.
"Good. Now I'll see you tomorrow or whatever." Santana says as she walks over to her bed she shares with Brittany, and Quinn.
"Goodnight Santana." Rachel says quietly as she steps over a sleeping Lauren and a sleeping Mercedes. Santana is silent for a moment and stares at her before replying.
"Night Ber- Rachel." she whispers back before sliding into bed beside Brittany. And Rachel isn't sure, but she thinks that a truce might have just been exchanged between the two of them and she finds it strange that she's somewhat happy about it. When she finally falls asleep after a few hours of contemplation her dreams are filled with red roses, green eyes, full lips, and calloused fingers stroking her cheek.