Hi, I got inspired to write this a while ago, now I revisited the idea and I still love it, let me know what you think please!
This was it. This would be my first time to ever perform in public. I could not be any more nervous, but it was an opportunity to show the world what I had to say. Or rather the amount of approximately fifteen people currently in the bar. It was a step in the right direction at least. "Are you alright, you look pale?", Jamie asked, slightly concerned. "It's cool, give me a second", I said smiling tentatively. "You 've got this, girl", he smiled and but his arm around my shoulders.
"Thanks again for making this possible, I know you guys don't usually have live performances", I said once more and again he just smiled. I nervously began to bite my lip as Jerry, the owner of the bar, stepped up to the microphone and asked for silence. He began to introduce me to the audience and I gave Jamie one more anxious glance.
When Jerry invited me to the stage I finished my drink and smiled. I walked up to the side of the stage, grabbed my guitar and sat on the stool. I noticed all eyes were on me and people continued to arrive and take seats. "Hi, my name is Jane Hudson and I'm going to play some of my songs for you tonight. I really hope you enjoy them", I spoke into the microphone and smiled at the audience. "This one's called "never again"", I added.
I looked down at my guitar and felt more at ease the second I plucked the first note. This part was not the biggest challenge though. In such an intimate environment the guitar and the vocals needed to be on my a-game. No hiding behind synthesizers and drums. Just me and my guitar. Any mistake- easily noticeable. While the guitar playing was somewhat consistent by now, the vocals could go wrong at some parts. But the time to worry about such things was over now, now it would just happen as it may. I would just sing.
With the atmosphere of silence and attention on the audience's part and me feeling comfortable with my guitar supporting me I could emotionally feel the song and add the necessary passion and dimension to the vocals, so that I thought it didn't even sound bad. At this point I didn't really pay much attention to the people in this room, I got lost in the song completely.
I woke out of that trance when the song was over. There was a moment of silence until the people started applauding. I couldn't help but smile a little bit. "Thank you", I said, a little overwhelmed. I noticed there were almost double the amount of people there were in the beginning.
I continued with a very emotional and slow song until I played a more upbeat and soul-sounding song and the audience actually clapped along during the chorus. The bar was packed by now, many people had to remain standing. "There is one last song that I would like to sing for you. I want to dedicate it to my sister. This is "Thunder"".
When I finished the last song, I took a second to look into the audience, to find smiling faces and applause everywhere I looked. Jamie just sat at the Bar, eyes wide open, staring at me like I was some kind of alien. I couldn't help but grin slightly. This must have been my best vocals I ever had and the audience liked it. I put down my guitar and joined Jamie at the Bar, not without expressing my gratitude for their attention again, of course.
"I have no words", Jamie mumbled. I threw my head back and laughed out loud. "I did it, didn't I?", I whispered, but he heard it. "So much more than that, you absolutely killed it! I mean I knew you were good but…" "Thanks Jamie", I interrupted him and hugged him tightly. "For everything", I added. "Oh, just shut up about it already…", he moaned. I giggled against his neck until we parted.
"Sooo, what are the two of u-", he began until Jerry came rushing towards us and yelled: "Jane, that was amazing, business has never been better! Maddox, this idea was truly brilliant". I could almost see the Dollar signs blinging in the old man's eyes. "Glad we could help", Jaimie laughed. I didn't really have anything to add and really didn't know what to say to him, so I remained quiet. As quickly as Jerry turned up he was gone already in order to talk to other people.
"You know what, we need to celebrate.", Jamie said and walked behind the bar to mix us drinks. "Are you allowed to drink during your shift now?", I asked in disbelief and giggled a little. He just shrugged it off. "To you and your amazing talent!", he announced. "To the both of us", I corrected. We clinked glasses, then immediately took a sip. "Uh, that's fantastic, your best work yet", I complimented him. He winked at me and grinned.
"Where is your girl by the way?", I noticed. He looked around and said: "She said she might not make it, something about work". He seemed a little disappointed, although it wasn't even his event that she had missed. "It's fine, I don't really mind it", I tried to calm him down but he just said in a bitter manner: "Abby knows how special this is to me". "Maybe something important came up", I suspected. "She is a fucking fitness coach, Jane", he said with his jaw clenched. "Sorry I need to focus on working right now, I'll be with you again in a minute", he said, making me realize how unhelpful I must have been. He was clearly upset.
"Excuse me, Miss". When I realized the young man was actually talking to me I turned around to face him. "Yes, please?", I responded confused. I was one of the shyer people on earth, so I rarely spoke to strangers, but more importantly: they never talked to me either.
"Hi, I'm Ethan, I saw your performance earlier and wanted to tell you how great I thought you were", the man said, rendering me speechless. "Uhhm… thank you. I'm uh… glad you enjoyed it", I answered. He smiled brightly and asked if he could buy me a drink. Analyzing the intentions behind that seemingly innocent question I said: "Oh no, sorry. I'm good, but thanks for offering" and smiled at him. He was not unattractive, but I was really not looking for anything at the moment.
He apparently did not take the hint and sat down at the stool to my right. "So, are you from around here?", he continued the conversation and again I could just not think of anything to answer. "You could say that", I eventually said, thinking of ways to let him know I wanted to end the conversation. "Oh great", he said and his grin seemed so permanent, that I started wondering whether he experienced a stroke right at this moment. "I am from Seattle, actually", he said. "Enjoying the weather?", I asked him, slowly accepting that I would be stuck with this Ethan-guy for a while. Maybe I was just too nice. "Oh yeah, you won't believe the difference!", he laughed. I wanted to express how much I really believed it, but said "I bet" instead.
I tried to make eye contact with Jamie, so he could get me out of this situation, but he just winked at me and chuckled to himself. Looked like I was on my own. "Hey girl", someone said from my left, so I turned to see who it was. I stared in the eyes of a woman that I had literally never seen in my life.
This day got weirder and weirder by the second. The Woman had long brown wavy hair and a very peculiar voice. It sounded kind of sharp like a razor blade, which contrasted with her very kind looking, brown eyes. "You better not let your boyfriend see this", she said to me, which gave me the maximum level of confusion possible for a human being. She now looked at Mr. Seattle and said "You better get going, that dude is JEALOUS…". He mumbled something about being sorry and that he had to go, then took off. I could not hide a little grin, as the guy fled the bar.
I turned back to my saving angel and grinned. The woman had a small smile of amusement, while her eyes seemed to sparkle with mischief. She could hardly contain her laughter and eventually broke down and let out a unique sounding laugh, that made me join in immediately.
"Thanks", I said, when we had finally calmed down a little. She just shrugged raising one eyebrow and said "I couldn't watch this disaster any longer". I felt really uncomfortable, since I haven't been able to get out of the situation on my own. She looked at me very intensely, which definitely didn't help my confidence either. "I'm just joking of course", she clarified, since I didn't respond.
I still couldn't think of anything to say. I was used to acting awkwardly, but this was by far the worst. "You don't talk much, huh?", she asked and I blushed. I really wanted to say something. Not just anything, something clever or funny. I ended up saying nothing again. "How were you able to be so amazing and expressive while performing earlier?", she asked and laughed. "On stage I know what to do, out here? Very different story", I admitted quietly. She smiled. "Well you definitely do know how to work a stage", she said and I felt the heat rushing to my head again.
Something about her voice seemed slightly familiar. I took a closer look, but I was pretty sure, that I had never seen her before. I probably would have remembered her, too. She was stunning to be honest. "Do you really write all of these songs by yourself?", she wanted to know. I nodded. "Wow, I really wish I would have been so fantastic when I started out. My singing was pretty good, but my songwriting skills not so much", she joked. I laughed. She sang? Just when I thought she couldn't get more mysterious and intimidating. "I bet that's not true", I slipped out and immediately regretted saying it. "No honey, it was really not pretty, believe me", she said and grinned.
I caught myself staring at her for a little too long. I was so impressed by her and there was something about her that simply captured me. She was probably waiting for me to answer. Fuck. I stared at her awkwardly and hoped she would continue speaking instead.
When she realized that I wasn't going to say anything and that she made me super nervous she just grinned. It was not the kind way of smiling, it was rather a mixture of amusement and confidence. I took another sip of my drink and took my time with it.
During the entire conversation she had her eyes on me like she was trying to figure me out. Or possibly what was wrong with me, who knows. When I looked back at her I noticed that her outfit showed a lot of cleavage. This was horror for me. A person like her talking to me. Intimidating me. Me making a complete and total fool out of myself. Let's be real: I looked like a fucking Idiot. I quickly looked in a different direction and I didn't think she caught me. Of course, I blushed anyway. She probably thought lobster red was my natural skin tone.
"You're cute", she said smiling. This was sort of comforting. It was as if her eyes told me that everything would be alright. That I just needed to relax. The alcohol probably helped right now, somehow, I felt less uncomfortable at least. Also, how was this possible? She liked me when I was at my worst? I barely said a sentence to her. Weird.
"What are you drinking?" She asked a little curiously. I laughed. "Jamie mixed this. Threw in a bunch of extra decoration to cheer me up", I explained the explosion of colors and glitter Jamie called "cocktail". Speaking of Jamie; Where was he? She laughed. "Looks interesting. I've never seen anything quite like it", she said. I looked around to try to spot him somewhere but I couldn't see properly in this light.
In this moment I heard his voice coming closer. "You know what? No! Just go home, I don't even want you here anymore", he yelled at Abigail, who had been rushing after him, but now stopped. She was pissed, clearly. She did not even give him an answer, she simply turned around and left.
I got up and walked towards Jamie. He looked like he hesitated, but in the end he let me hug him tightly. He pulled me close and we remained like this. "Well, I still got you, that's what's important", he said quietly. "I'm not going anywhere", I said and chuckled.
I returned to my seat and noticed that I had been ignoring my saving angel. "So, this is Jamie, you know, the cocktail guy", I said to her. "Jamie, this is… uhm…", I started. The women laughed. "Hi, I'm Demi. Nice to meet you. Loving your colorful cocktail", she said and they shook hands. There was something familiar about the name too, I just couldn't see why. Regardless, it was a beautiful name. I noticed Demi looking at Jamie weirdly, but he didn't seem to see it.
Jamie's mood had gone from angry to sad to happy all of a sudden and the intimacy between him and me was replaced by shallow cheerfulness. "Thank you so much, dear. This devil over here will say she doesn't like the color and the glitter, but don't believe a word of it" he said winking at me. "Do you want the same?", he asked and smiled charmingly as he was. His blue eyes shined in contrast to his dark skin and fuzzy and curly hair.
Demi seemed uncomfortable suddenly. Something was wrong. "No thank you, can you get me some water though? That would be nice", she replied. I decided not to ask her about it. "So… How long have you been together?", she asked, but didn't even look at me. I was super confused. "What?", I asked. "How long have you been dating Jamie?", she said. I laughed. God no, she didn't really think we were a couple, did she? "Sorry for laughing… Jamie is my best friend. Nothing more", I clarified. "You may add soulmate and biggest fan", he said as he returned and winked at us. "Water for the Lady", he smiled at Demi.
"So, no jealous boyfriend, huh?", Demi asked me quietly. She had gone back to observing me closely, which I had almost missed already. I shook my head. "I'm not in a relationship at the moment", I elaborated. I could swear I had seen a little glimmer in her eyes as I said this, so I felt confident enough to ask: "What about you?". She smiled and again there was a hint of mischief in the air. "Very single", she stated. I couldn't hide the tiny smile that my lips formed for a split second. I didn't think she noticed though.
Luckily Jamie was all caught up in his work, I started to feel uncomfortable with him listening. She took her eyes off of me in order to take a sip of her water and I simply watched her. I summed up all the confidence I had in me and asked: "So, where are you from?". It wasn't even that hard, what have I been worried about? She turned to me and went back to looking in my eyes intensely and closely observing my every move. That is what it felt like at least. And there it was again. My intimidated and conscious part. Damn, she was good at shooting that look. I swallowed.
As if she had waited for that sign of weakness she grinned again and answered: "Originally I'm from Dallas, but I live here in L.A.." I nodded. "Not in this area though", she added. Yeah, this area was crap, of course she did not belong here. "What brings you here, then?", I asked her. She shifted a little in her seat and for a second her cleavage caught my eye again.
"I was just wandering about", she said vaguely. "Then I walked by this Bar and heard your voice through the door. I had to stop and take a look", she continued. "Do you play here often?", she asked and her smile turned warmer. I shook my head. "I performed for the first time in public ever today", I admitted embarrassed.
She frowned. "No way!", she said. "Way", I muttered. "Wow, then you must be what they call a natural talent", she sounded genuinely surprised. Again, I didn't know how to respond. "When is your next gig? Do you have your work on any platform? I'd love to hear more", Demi said and I blushed. She really seemed exited. I was a little sorry to disappoint her. "This gig was a one-time thing and my music is unpublished, sorry", I responded. Demi shook her head and went: "No no no no, tell me you have a record deal, a manager, anything".
I started to get frustrated. It was not so easy to get by in that business, also I had never had the courage to present what I had secretly worked on for years. In addition to everything I didn't have the resources to pay for an album, a manager or a venue.
"Sorry", she said, as she noticed my thoughts drifting of and my mood shifting. She took a big sip of her water. "I'm so sorry", she repeated. "It's just… someone with your talent, with your artistry and… well your passion! I don't see that very often. The fact that you write your own songs, too", she explained and her eyes glowed of excitement. "Please forgive me?", she whispered, as if I was in some way important to her. Of course, I forgave her. How could I possibly be mad at her after having heard that. I smiled with all the warmth I could bear. She smiled back. God, she was beautiful.
"Well maybe you should sing for me sometime then", she said with an odd smirk, she apparently had regained her confidence. Was this a joke? And why did it sound so flirty? I blushed. I hated my body for reacting that way to her. It started to become really annoying.
"The bar closes soon ladies", Jaime said to us. What time was it anyway? I quickly checked my phone. Quarter to three. Impossible. I've been here a million times, but I've never stayed until closing time. The bar was almost empty by now, too. How did I not notice? I usually noticed these kinds of things.
"Oh fuck", my saving angel cursed. "I've got to work early tomorrow", she sighted. "Tomorrow is Saturday", I stated and frowned, as she finished her water. "Well, technically today", I corrected the two of us, but she didn't even listen. She handed Jamie a few Dollar bills and got up, her purse in her hand. I couldn't help but be a little disappointed, that the conversation would be over.
As rare as it was for me; I really enjoyed being around her. Half the time at least. The other half I wished to be someplace far away, because I had managed to embarrass myself again. She finally turned to me. "I'm so sorry cutie, I've got to go", she said. "We'll see each other again though", she added before I could say anything and smirked. She didn't know that. She could not possibly know that. She smiled before she turned to leave.
Shortly after she turned again. "Hey, what's your name?", she asked me. "Jane", I answered. She grinned as if she liked what she heard, then she just left. It took me a few minutes to realize what just happened. She just left. She promised we'd see each other again. She called me "cutie". I had my first performance tonight. She called me "cutie".
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, let me know what you think and whether you want me to continue. Have a wonderful day y'all! :D
~E.S.