THE HUMAN SUPER SAIYAN
Cast of characters:
From Pokemon: Pikachu
From Quest for Camelot: Ruber, Devon, and Cornwall
From Blazing Dragons: Flicker, Princess Flame, Sir Blaze, Sir Burnevere, and Count Geoffrey
From the Mario series: Mario and Luigi
From Shrek: the red dronkey, Parfait
Squiggles, Chuggles, and Homer are my own characters
On an isolated remote planet, two aliens named Yrral and Knarf were working on a project for Colonel Srednas, their commanding officer.
"How's the Gamma Ray doing?" asked Yrral.
"Not good. I can't seem to get it working," replied Knarf.
"And what of the new formula?"
"The Saiyan blood? Well, that's been about my only success today. I extracted it from a prince today!"
"That's wonderful!" said Yrral. "The colonel could make a fortune with it!"
Suddenly, five tigers burst into the room! The tigers sniffed around, but didn't find Yrral or Knarf, as they were hiding behind some boxes. Suddenly, three men came inside and shot the tigers with tranquilizers full of rubbing alcohol!
"What I don't understand is why we don't just kill them if it's us vs tigers!" said Patrick.
"How many times do I have to tell you," said Reginald, "that Count Geoffrey wants to use his mega ray to brainwash the tigers so he can use them to rule his evil empire!"
"But we're evil villains and all, shouldn't we kill all our victims?"
Another man walked in. He was a very mean-looking knight with long orange hair and he was very fat.
"Tigers are a valuable asset to our empire. My cousin needs them. Think of all the innocent victims he can sacrif…"
Sir Ruber was cut off by Count Geoffrey, who discovered a glass vial full of a volatile red liquid.
"At last I have found it!" said Count Geoffrey. "My Saiyan Blood tracker is reacting to it! Now I just need Reginald to inject the blood into my veins and my plan for universe domination shall be unstoppable! GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
On a small planet in the North Galaxy called Earth, there once lived a red dronkey named Parfait, and a yellow mouse Pokemon called Pikachu.
"Pika pika!" said Pikachu.
Parfait sneezed, and flames shot out of her nose.
"Pika!" said Pikachu, pointing directly at a UFO! The UFO landed, and out came a cat.
"My name is Squiggles. I come from Planet Earth," said the cat.
A man named Chuggles walked up to Squiggles.
"This IS Planet Earth, kitty cat."
"Oh." Squiggles seemed disappointed. "I heard that four madmans are trying to…"
"You mean madmen," said Chuggles.
"HISS!" said Squiggles, and Chuggles decided that the wisest choice would be to shut his festering gob, ya git!
"There are four madmen trying to take over the universe! Recently they conquered Planet Totokama and captured five more tigers."
"What does tigers have to do with it?" asked Chuggles.
"Apparently, this intergalactic demon named Bojack is hosting this game between two teams where one team has to kill or capture the other team. It's like a war. So far Count Geoffrey, Ruber, Patrick, and Reginald have captured 27 out of 35 tigers! He's using them to run his evil empire and he's conquering any planet he finds them on. And recently he acquired some Saiyan blood. He's having it injected into his veins…"
Suddenly five women burst into the room.
"There he is!" said one of them.
"It's the bad man, Chuggles! He licked the driver's ear and caused him to crash the bus!" said another woman.
"I hadn't finished watching Alien vs Predator and I always wanted to see it!" complained the third woman.
"Not to mention he lied to us," said the fourth woman. "He promised not to do anything stupid."
"He ruined our whole wacation!" said the fifth woman. And they all started mauling Chuggles.
"Help! Murder! Police! Call 911! Bloody murder! Bloody murder!" said Chuggles.
"DIE SCUM!" said the women. And they all drew switchblades. At that moment, Squiggles hissed at them. They looked at Squiggles. Then Pikachu used its electric attack, shocking Chuggles and the five insane women. All of them ran except for one.
Her name was Mrs. Dae. She was a lunch lady who ate peanuts. She had been fired for stealing from the school. Parfait breathed fire and set Mrs. Dae's hair on fire! Mrs. Dae took one look in the mirror, panicked, and looked for any kind of liquid to douse the flames. She picked up a glass bottle of what looked like clear water and poured it on her head.
Big mistake! It was a bottle of vodka! The vodka exploded and Mrs. Dae lay unconscious on the ground! Half her hair and a fraction of her skin was missing from her scalp. Squiggles called 911 and Mrs. Dae was taken to the hospital.
"She'll live," said the doctor. "And you're lucky to live too after what she tried to do to you," he said, looking at Chuggles.
"I owe it all to the cat, the mouse, and the dragon," said Chuggles.
"She's a dronkey not a dragon," said Squiggles. "Half donkey half dragon."
"I think the most damage I suffered was from Pikachu's lightning bolt."
"Pika pika," said Pikachu.
"So anyways," said Chuggles, as though there had been no interruption, "where are these bad guys headed now?"
"They're headed to a planet called Bob," replied the lazy cat.
"There can't be a planet called BOB!" said Chuggles.
"Well it used to be called Planet Bobbillgeorgejohnjeffsuefairplayauntjeffunclebethjdandy" but that got too long to say in a sentence. So, let's get into a UFO and get there."
"What does he want with Saiyan DNA?" asked Chuggles.
"I don't know. I know he wants to absorb it into his blood, so maybe he wants to use it to become more powerful."
"So let's go to Planet Bob and stop him!" said Squiggles.
"But what can we do? We're just a cat, a mouse, a half donkey half dragon, and a cute and cuddly man who has no last name!" said Chuggles. "You know what happens to people who don't have last names. They always die! I mean, the people on Totokama didn't have last names did they?"
"Good point," said Squiggles, "but they didn't die. They stayed hidden but anyway they're his slaves now. We have to set them free. He is currently using them as weights on weight machines for working out so he can become a Super Saiyan."
"SUPER SAIYAN?!" said Chuggles. "I've seen DragonballZ and Super Saiyans are a force to be reckoned with! I didn't think there were any evil Super Saiyans. Well, in canon, I mean. Cause in the movies there's Broly, and he's an evil monster."
"Don't even CALL him that!" snapped Squiggles. "Broly is not a monster. He's nowhere near it. He is a DEVIL!"
"No argument there," said Chuggles. "Now let's go before he enslaves Planet Bob."
The pandemonium begins on Chapter 2. It gets a little crazy.