A\N: Okay so after hitting a brainstorming slump in the other version of this story I decided to re-post it and then start to re-write it using a different main storyline. I have a lot of ideas for this version so don't worry its not going anywhere. This chapter is mostly the same expect for the ending which I changed.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Spoilers: None

Warinings: None

Chapter 1

Eight-year-old Gilberto 'Gill' Antonio Amaro looked up from his breakfast and turned his shoulder; he saw his cousins walk into the kitchen and put down there bags.

"Antonio, Laura," He finished swallowing his food, "Remember to give Diego the LEGO pieces and…"

Laura chuckled lightly at walked up to the young boy; She kissed his head, "Don't worry we will. Now finish up your cereal all right. Your father is having a hard time getting your sisters ready this morning."

"Can I help?" He asked, he knew his younger sisters missed his mother. Their father couldn't do their hair or figure out what to dress them in.

"You can help by fining breakfast," Laura responded.

"No!" Four-year-old Zara screamed running down the stairs, "Laura!" She shrieked at the top of her lungs, "Stop Daddy!"

"Wow, wow," Laura looked down at the young girl as she came speeding into the kitchen, "What's going on?"

"Daddy messeded up!" She sobbed, "He did!" She cried sniffling as she pulled out her lopsided braid.

Laura had to stifle a laugh; Nick did indeed mess up the girl's hair. Zara, like her mother Maria had beautiful long thick brown hair and it was very hard to brush. Nick had wanted to cut it but Zara had always thrown a fit and so Nick had been forced to try and do his daughter's hair every morning in his wife's absence.

Maria was an investigative reporter for the New York Times currently assigned to cover the troops in Iraq. She was stationed overseas and had been for nearly a year.

"If you can ask me nicely I'll help you," Laura told the young girl.

"Please Laura?" Zara looked up at her with her brown eyes.

"Thank you," Laura took her hand and led her back up to her room, just as they were coming up the stairs as very frustrated Nick was coming down with two year old Madelina

The toddler had just celebrated her second birthday three weeks ago. She, like her older brother looked more like her father. She was a Daddy's girl all the way and although she sometimes gave her father a hard time Nick wouldn't have it any other way. Once they were on levelled ground he set his daughter on the floor and watched her toddle off to the kitchen.

"Tonio!" She beamed up at her cousin, "Brekie?" She asked pointing to her high chair, "Leadse."

"Come here princess," Antonio scooped her up smiling as she giggled in delight. He pressed kisses to her forehead and cheeks before putting her in the high chair and buckling her in.

"Man you don't have to do that," Nick saw his best friend and older cousin getting Madelina's breakfast ready, "You and Laura need to get ready for the airport."

"The cab drivers going to text me when he gets here," Antonio told him, "In the meantime I can help you out."

"Great," Nick wasn't going to say no to that. His cousin and his wife had been in New York for the week and had been an enormous help to him even though it was technically a vacation he was sure they'd spend more time with his kids then sigh seeing.

"Daddy!" Zara skipped into the room ahead of Laura, "Look! Laura says I look like Eva!" The four year old loved her thirteen-year-old older cousin. "Eva's so cool!"

"Yes, yes you do look like Eva, very cute," Nick smiled, "Now come and have something to eat; We're going to be late."

"All finished," Gill stood up and got his bowl and brought it over to the sink where to stood on his tiptoes and dropped it in.

"Good now go and change into your uniform," Nick instructed his son; He nodded and went up the stairs to change from his pyjamas into his school uniform.

"Madi we don't play in our food," Nick looked at his daughter who instead of eating her cereal was playing with it.

"I'll help her," Antonio told him, "You go and answer the door," He told him as the doorbell rang for the second time.

"Right," Nick nodded and walked towards the front door. He immediately recognized the black car on the street and closed his eyes; he knew what that meant, "Tonio, can you come here!" He called trying to keep the fear out of his voice, as he didn't want to scare his kids.

"Is it the cab driver?" Antonio rounded the corner stopping as he saw the car, "Hey Zara how about we go and play in your room alright. We can bring your backing up there." He walked into the kitchen.

"Why?" She wondered, she was never allowed to eat in her room.

"Because I think it might be a good treat," He explained taking her cereal bowl with one hand and offering her his other, "Lets go alright."

"But…"

"Hey Zara." Laura knew something was going on, "Do you want to go upstairs and play dolls. I think your Daddy needs to talk to someone, it might be boring.

"Alright," Zara nodded her head.

"Thank you," Antonio handed his wife the cereal bowl and then Madelina as well. When he got to the front hallway he nodded at Nick and he finally opened the door.

"Detective Amaro?" A solider asked.

"Ye-yes," Nick silently prayed Maria wasn't dead, "Please tell me my wife's okay."

"I'm sorry," The solider shook his head sadly, "There was an explosion at the press camp,"

"But…. But," He shook his head, "She was supposed to be safe. She wasn't fighting on the front lines. How is this even happening?" He wanted to know. He wasn't going to let himself cry knowing that once he started he might not stop. "Is her body going to be delivered?"

"Yes," The solider nodded.

"Here Sir," Another solider handed him over an official letter and a card, "This is a family services card, they can be helpful."

"Thank you," Nick managed to get out.

"Again we're very sorry for your loss," The first solider said as they turned to leave.

Nick shut the door and punched it twice before clenching his fists angrily.

Antonio had never seen his cousin so angry. Nick had been through his fair share of rough times. His father was a deadbeat who beat up him and his sister and mother; his mother committed suicide when he was sixteen and he hardly spoke to his younger sisters anymore through all of that he'd always come back but Antonio wasn't sure what he would do now.

"I wish I knew what to say Man," Antonio walked up to him and gave him a quick hug, "Laura and I will stay a few more weeks. You're not going to go through this alone," He promised him.

"Uh-huh," Nick nodded, he'd heard every word but it was like he'd forgotten how to speak. Everything was a blur and he couldn't think straight. "I'm just going to sit down," He decided as he walked onto the living room and slumped into a chair, "Oh Maria," He saw a picture of the two of them on a shelf and began to sob.

"Dad," Gill walked into the room half dressed in his uniform, "Dad…" The eight year old has been worried before but now he was terrified, "Is Mom dead?"

Nick looked up at his son; he wanted desperately to tell him that his other was still alive but he couldn't.

"NO!" Gill screamed, he collapsed to the floor and continued to sob, "You…said…h…she…" His words became jumbled and mixed up with his tears as he gasped for breaths.

"Ssh, ssh," Antonio went to comfort the boy, "It'll be okay."

"No!" He collapsed into his cousins' arms.

Upstairs Laura had a pretty good idea of what had happened and looked at the two young girls who now had no mother. She made a silent promise then and there to do everything she could for them as they got older and needed a mother figure in their life.

"Laura," Zara heard the crying that was getting louder downstairs, "What happened?" She asked.

"I think you need to ask Daddy," She responded, "Lets go downstairs," She took the girls hand and walked over to Madelina and lifted the toddler up. She walked out of their bedroom and down the stairs and into the living room.

"Daddy!" Zara let go of Laura's hand and raced towards her father, "What's wrong?" She asked snuggling into him, tears already starting to fall down her face.

"Oh baby," Nick looked at her, she looked so much like Maria, and "You know how Mommy's job is dangerous?" Zara nodded, "Well she got really hurt and…. And she's in heaven now."

"She's dead?" Zara asked her lip quivering, "Why Daddy?"

"I don't know sweetheart, I don't know," He answered her as he pulled her into a tight hug and held her for a long time. "I don't know."

Three Months Later:

"Antonio! Can you get that!" Laura shouted from the kitchen, she was finishing up the crock-pot recipe for dinner and was already running late for work.

"Yeah Babe!" He shouted back from the living room as he answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Hey man," Nick greeted him.

"Hey bro," Antonio greeted back, "You okay? What's up?"

"Why does something have to be wring when I call you?" He laughed.

"It doesn't but since… you know."

"Yeah," He knew what his cousin was referring to. He still thought about Maria every single day. That's why he was even more convinced he and the kids needed to get away from all of the memories. "I was thinking of moving with the kids to Chicago. You know we're still having hard time here."

"Yeah," Antonio nodded, "I bet. Well we'd be happy to have your ugly face at the CPD. The SVU could always use you."

"Maybe or I could join the Intelligence Unit," He suggested.

"What? Like work together?"

"Sure or are you afraid everyone's going to find out that I'm a better Detective."

"No, no I'm more afraid for you, you know being shown up by your older cousin."

"Uh-huh," He laughed and then turned serious, "I'll probably be moving to Chicago next month after the kids are out of school, it gives them the summer to adjust and for me t find a good daycare for Madi."

"I can help with that," Antonio told him, "We'll start looking for houses too. You want me to talk to Voight? See about that transfer."

"Sure if you want. I'm going to le my Sargent know next shift."

"Alright text me and let me know when I can let Voight know."

"Will do. Say hi to everyone for me."

"Alright; give the kids a hug from all of us," He said and waited for his cousin and best friend to hang up.

"What's Nick up to?" Laura asked her husband as she walked into the living room.

"He and the kids are going to move to Chicago next month," He told his wife.

"Oh, well Diego will be happy. I think there's a house a few blocks down that's for sale. We should look into it for him."

"Yeah," Antonio nodded and he walked towards her and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

TBC

A\N: So, what did you think? Please review and let me know.