"crazy" human speech
"Cazy" human thought
"Crazy" Summon/biju speech
"Crazy" Summon/biju thought
"Crazy" Author speak
The Insanity Of Kohona
A tired man, veteran of wars large and small and a student to legendary shinobi walked up the dust roads of Hi No Kuni towards Kohona a young blond's life was suddenly changed forever.
"Get back here demon!" A villager screamed as young Naruto Uzumaki ran away from a mob of villagers in the hopes of prolonging his life of five years for just a while longer, as our favorite blond continued to run, one heart wrenching thought ran throughout his mind,
"why do my birthdays suck this bad?" Naruto continued to run, cursing his stupidity for remaining in the village on the day of his birth, a day he knew from prior, and terrible experience that almost every villager and many ninja would attempt to kill him. The hope dawning within the young Uzumaki's breast at the site of the village gate soon died with the sharp pain of a pair of shuriken flying into his back and knocking him over. As Naruto attempted to rise the ninja who had successfully hit Naruto with his shuriken kicked him in the side of the head rendering him unconscious.
-Flashback-
Sitting amongst the bodies of Iwa missing-ninja, a thought occurred to a man who's face showed his years, as he replaced a pair of sunglasses to cover his eyes despite the overcast day, stooping down to recover his cane, Koyuki, amidst the bodies of his enemies, he realized that he had no one, he had sacrificed all for the safety and security of Kohona and her peoples, and at the ripe age of 70, thats a hell of a lot of sacrifice. Thinking quickly Koyuki summoned an owl and sent a report to Sarutobi detailing the results of his mission, and that after over twenty years of a near constant stream of A and S ranks missions that he was coming home to retire. "This will probably give little Saru-Chan a heart attack." Koyuki thought with a snicker.
-present-
After almost twenty years abroad, killing Kohona's enemies in a myriad of the most brutal and sadistic ways he could think of, Koyuki was about to retire, his life had been devoted to the safety and security of Kohona and her people and he was finally almost done. Koyuki had even sacrificed his wife and child so that the village of Kohona could remain at peace, and so after finishing of a final mission for his home, and with that thought, Koyuki had just arrived at the gates of his village. and what in the hell was the first thing did he see when coming through the gates of the home he had been absent from for over 20 years? A veritable mob of village and the occasional ninja cheering as a little blond boy staked to a wooden table by his hands and feet was pelted by rocks, rotten food, and the occasional shuriken or kunai.
"Oh HELL NO" Was the only thought in Koyuki's mind as he quickly shunshined to the boys side blocking the next volley of projectiles.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?" and as Koyuki's killing intent began to surface, villagers began to faint. The more experienced ninja in the mob began to feel uneasy at the site of this old man, who's bald hea- "AND WHO THE HELL JUST THOUGHT I WAS BALD!?" …. "THE HELL?" did he just read my/our thoughts?" Was the collective sweat drop. Ignoring this odd occurrence for the moment, a young and newly appointed chunin spoke up. "What the hell old man? Get out of the way! This dosen't concern you, we just want to finally kill the demon!" Koyuki looked at the man, and then without warning-
-Hokage tower-
Sarutobi Hiruzen felt a spike of chakra that he had not felt in over twenty years, and with a sickening realization, panicked and called for his ANBU as he ran towards the gates of his village.
-Village Gate-
"You know what? FUCK IT!" Koyuki whipped off his sunglasses revealing eyes that would have looked like they have been hollowed out by kunai had it not been for the jade spheres in each socket, slapped his hands together shouting "KYOKI NO KYU" (sphere of insanity) and a sickly green dome erupted from Koyuki's body swiftly covering the entire mob, Koyuki then slapped his hand down and hell was let loose on the street. Villagers foaming at the mouth, clawing each other in fear and panic, many dying from fear induced heart attacks or self inflicted wounds, the few ninja in the group were swiftly killed by their own comrades, as petty, half-remembered grievances and issues long since settled suddenly roared to the front of each ninjas mind, blinding them with hate and anger.
"STOP! KOYUKI! ENOUGH" Yelled Hiruzen Sarutobi, Sandaime Hokage of the village hidden in the leaves as he arrived with a squad of ANBU behind him, Koyuki merely sneered as he saw the Hokage arrive and with a flick of the wrist the dome surrounding Koyuki fell,
"HIRUZEN.. WE NEED TO TALK" Koyuki growled out. Despite himself Hiruzen shuddered at the tone that promised lots of pain if that talk didn't explain a lot, and explained it well.
"Of course. Meet me back at Hokage tower so we can talk about why you are here in the village in the first place, but first I need to take care of Naruto. Cat!" An Anbu in a purple colored cat mask, materialized into a crouch next to the hokage, " Take Naruto-kun here to the hospital, and make sure only trust worthy doctors and nurses come near him, clear?"
"Hai!" And with that, the Anbu carefully removed the kunai from the blond boys hands and feet and shunshined away. Koyuki's killer intent was still rising, as the Anbu had been taking the boy he had caught a glimpse of child's face.
"Sarutobi, I am going to say three words, you will shake or nod your head, depending on what you say, I may attempt to kill you…. Kushina and Minato" Sarutobi winced, and nodded, Koyuki began walking over to Sarutobi, and each time the metal tip on his rattan cane struck the ground, Koyuki's Ki continued to rise, until Koyuki was standing in front of the Hokage, and his Anbu were on the ground puking, or had fainted from the pressure that that this man was putting out. "With just his Ki?!" Was all Sarutobi could think as sheer terror of Koyuki's presence continued skyrocket, soon Koyuki was side by side with Sarutobi, and rather then harm the Hokage, he merely leaned into his ear and whispered, "this better be damn good, or I will not be happy. Now hurry the hell up." and with that Koyuki disappeared in the direction of Hokage tower.
"Who the hell was that?" was the terrified whisper from one of the Anbu who hadn't passed out.
"That was the insanity of Kohona." responded Sarutobi, absolute petrified at the thought that after so many years he was back.