Drowning on Fire
Chapter one: New Faces
Disclaimer: I don't any Twilight, just the plot. Stephanie owns all of the characters. And I do not profit from making stories.
Italics are her thoughts, regular print are just actions and conversations. Please go easy on me; this is my first fanfic that I've actually had the guts to publish online. Reviews will be welcomed! Please no ghost readers. I'll update weekly or every few days, and you'll get at least 3 or 4 chapters from this one post. Anyway, sorry for the hella long authors' note, enjoy the story!
Bella's POV
He is here.
I'm gone in my mind again. Words are being spoken, yet they're falling on deaf ears.
I'm numb again. What's happening to me? This boys' presence is affecting me? He's a monster with this weird look that he's giving me? Even my mind is telling me to run away from him, but I feel like I can't.
Ugh, why am I so weak? I am pulling at my hair to ease the pain of the headache I had just acquired thanks to this new kid again.
This stare down shit is getting annoying. We've been at this for weeks, well one and a half weeks if we're being honest.
"Maybe you should talk to him", Angela said, pushing her glasses up again.
I stared at her in shock for a moment before gathering my courage and nodding. She took my bag from me and held it to her as she watched me walk over to monsters' table.
He was reading now. I hadn't even realized he'd been reading today.
For some reason the walk to his table seemed to be further and further away from reach.
"So you finally decided to speak to me again, kitten?" the kid smirked, closing his book and putting it away before I could get the chance to read the title.
"Well, I got tired of doing the whole cat and mouse shit and wanted to take action on why you're being a damn creeper." I hissed out, crossing my arms across my chest.
He chuckled, smirking.
"Well, you don't always play with fire do you?" he said.
I raised an eyebrow at him in curiosity. What could he have meant by that?
"You're quite the unpredictable one aren't you? I was half expecting you to keep chatting about me to your dear friend there." He asked, chuckling again.
The noise was strangely comforting. His face, not the best, yet not the worst, it was boyishly adorable in a manner of sense. I sighed internally, managing a small smile to form on my lips.
Seeing the smile of others just somehow made me happy for some reason. So I did my best to make others smile, even at times when it was at the expense of my own happiness. I was too giving, too heartfelt at humans that I couldn't deny them.
Was this weakness? There's no way to tell now. Right now, I'm overthinking things, and I know I am.
"So, are you going to apologize or what?" I ask, taking one of his paper napkins and begin folding it into a crane. Or a sad attempt of a crane, I was never really good at origami though.
"Have I ever been known to give you what you want?" he asked.
"You're such a smart ass, Mr. Mason. Just say it and I'll leave." I told him, grimacing.
He gave a sort of crooked smile that sent chills down my spine just looking at the damned thing. His expression darkened slightly.
"As if I care about principles, Bells, inhibitions aren't my game. But I could find room for you to be again, if you're willing to keep it a secret?" He said, smirking.
This arrogant asshole, I am not his slave anymore. I've had enough of this. He can't just expect me to just bend over backwards and satisfy his lust towards me? How disgusting.
"Gross." I told him, standing up to leave his table.
His hand shot up, grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to sit beside him. His lips were on my ear, breathing.
Ugh, he was too close for any stranger to be. I could barely breathe. His scent was everywhere. Damn this kid.
"It's not wise to defy me, kitten. You'll learn that soon enough. My new number is on your hand and you better call tonight at 7. Now, go to class." He whispered, releasing his hold on my wrist.
I grabbed my things and practically ran to my next class, pausing only to catch my breath up on the stairs.
I made it to class with 4 minutes to spare. Lucky girl, especially with the way the hallway was packed today. I sat at my table, moving my stuff into the chair beside me, until I saw that someone's bag was already there.
Maybe Angela came here earlier than me and was able to find the table and set her things here? I hope so. I didn't like the idea of having a stranger sit next to me, even though I knew the entire class and had had the class for half of a year.
Then I saw creeper kid, Mason, walk into class. His eyes were scanning the class, searching for an empty table. Unfortunately Angela was nowhere to be found.
Where was this girl? I was biting my nails nervously as he came closer and closer to my table. His shit-eating grin was glued to his damn face again as if he had won the biggest game at a hunting game.
"Hello, Kitten." He said, moving the bag that was in Angela's chair.
"You can't sit there. Someone's already sitting there." I said, smirking.
"I know, I am, since this is my bag" he replied, killing my good mood already.
I moved my chair as far as I could, away from him. However, seeing as how the table is only for two people, that kind of made that idea moot anyway.
I groaned, putting my head on the desk and sighed. Hopefully, Mr. Wilson would be here today and give us some individual assignment to keep us busy for the whole period.
"Hello Students, my name is Mrs. Kirkpatrick and I will be filling in for your teacher, Mr. Wilson for the rest of this semester." The overly cheerful woman announced.
This couldn't be happening. This just couldn't be, unless I had karma or some other stuff coming to curse me for past evil I had done.
Okay, this may be possible now. I'll just accept my fate, just as long as it doesn't involve him more than it needs to. Then, I'll just move to a different school.
"It also seems that he didn't leave any work for you today. So, I'll allow you to work on other work you may have in your other classes or listen to music on your phones if you're quiet." She said, smiling brightly.
Damn Mr. Wilson, this man was now a sadist in my eyes. But at least I'd be able to tune this guy out with my music, and that's exactly what I did.
It worked until I felt a hand on my thigh. My eyes were probably the size of saucers at this point.
I moved his hand off of my thigh, scooting further away. The leg of my chair was touching the leg of the table now.
His hand came on my thigh again after a few seconds, gripping it tighter when I tried to pry it off my thigh. I gave up after the squeezing became too intense and just let it go, ignoring it as much as I could.
His hand crept higher up my thigh, touching my hip now.
What the actual fuck is this guy's problem?
"Bruises and Bite marks" was the song now playing on my phone, and it couldn't have chosen a better moment to do so.
Please tell me that he wasn't going to do this here. I wasn't much of a virgin to be honest, so I knew what to expect when hands started to wander around like airline security.
That was a wonderfully painful night, but I enjoyed the pain nonetheless. Maybe I was weird for that? I don't think so.
His hand was hovering over my crotch, delving in between my thighs.
Shit. I have to deal with this for 70 more minutes? I pulled out my travel tweezers and jabbed him in the hand with them.
He hissed in pain, pulling his hand away and glared daggers at me. I smiled back happily, asking the teacher if I could go to the office to check myself out, to which she said yes.
I bolted out of the classroom so fast, I'm pretty sure I was blurred on the school cameras. I nearly tripped trying to get down stairs to the second floor attendance office.
After I signed myself out, I walked down the two flights of stairs that were next to the cafeteria and walked to the junior parking lot. My car was small and simple. Much the same way I loved life.
The 2005 white Ford was cold, probably from the near artic morning we had down here. The weather was so much more different down south, but somehow I managed. As I reached into my pocket to fish out my keys, I noticed that there was writing scribbled on my hand.
The longer I stared at it, the more I could understand it. It was 'his' number. I'd have probably chopped my hand off and set it on fire if it wasn't my primary hand that I did almost everything with.
"Looking for something, Kitten?" that fucking voice again?
I groaned; face palming my forehead, raking my fingers through my blue and black back length hair.
"What do you want now?" I ask out of irritation.
"To make sure you follow orders. Plain and simple, I'd hate to have to hurt my newest, game piece." He said, grinning devilishly at me.
What's with him? Does he plan on beating me in order to follow his orders all over again? If so, I might be the one to have to teach someone a lesson finally.
"You have my keys don't you?" I said, pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes in frustration.
"Why of course I do, Kitten. You seemed like you needed a man's help with driving and I'm more than happy to help a woman in distress." He said, flashing those strangely sharp teeth at me.
"I really don't need or want someone like you to help me. Now, can you please give me my keys back, I actually have to be somewhere." I said, anxiously looking around for any patrolling security guards.
There was no one around. Perfect fucking timing, any other day, there would have been about 3 asking me if I should be in class.
I turned to face the creeper. I didn't even hear him and he was already face to face with me.
I looked up to see his face. Emerald eyes looked back into brown eyes. His eyes for a split second showed the adoration he once felt for me.
My heart was racing against my chest. Why did I feel this way? His eyes had the power to freeze me in one spot. I can't move, and I find myself not wanting to anyway.
"Be with me again, please." He begged, leaning towards my face.
His hands pinned my wrists against my car, the cold metal of it causing me to shiver.
"No way." I said. My voice wavering do to the sudden chill my body was experiencing, before the memories all started to come, I forced them back out.
He pressed his body against mine, trapping me in between the car and himself. His body smelled like the woods and cinnamon, simply intoxicating to my senses.
I couldn't concentrate on anything anymore; I was lost in him all over again.
His lips came down onto mine roughly, igniting a fire in my veins, just like our first time. He growled when I didn't grant him access into my mouth, biting my lip. His grip on my wrists lessened before he finally let go. His hands moved to my breast and moved higher to my neck, resting there.
His fingers wrapped themselves around my throat, squeezing it as he grinded against me roughly, causing me to whimper.
How could I let this happen? Where was my stronger side? How could I tell myself with such authority that no one ordered me, that I was no one's property?
Yet, here I am, allowing him to do these horrible things to me again. Another repeat of mistreatment from him, more bruises to hide, more lies to tell friends and family, more relationship problems, and more stress that could have been avoided in the first place.
I am a traitor to my own mind now. A prisoner of the love we once shared. The love he once gave me. Perhaps I couldn't take him out of my mind because he was or might have been my first love?
No, that couldn't have been it. He's changed now, he is not who he used to be when we were together. I have no idea who this monster in front of me is anymore.
But at the same time, I still find myself craving these same hands that used to cause me so much pain, to cause me so much happiness and pleasure.
Chapter Two: Changing Paces
Disclaimer: I do not and will not ever own Twilight.
I woke up to the shrill sound of my alarm going off. It was now time to get up and go to school, again. But today was Friday that made me going about my morning with a smile along with pep in my step.
Finally deciding on what to wear, I chose on wearing black tights, my black and pink shirt that had lace on the back of it with my black and pink converse.
The day was going good; Creeper hadn't shown up for first period, which was fantastic for me. The teacher was in a good mood, so we were able to just play on the computers, watch movies, or listen to music in the classroom.
I laid my head down on the table, crossing my arms over so I would have that as a sort of pillow.
This was so nice, no distractions, no creeper to disrupt my calm, and no work from the teacher. Life was certainly good.
SLAM!
I look up to see who or what was the source of all that noise. Lo and behold, the creeper has arrived.
I guess I relaxed too long and the universe has to punish me now by sending in the damned creeper. Why oh why does he have to do this to me? I know exactly how this is going to go down.
I set my backpack away from harm and being taken, sighing all the while. I was silently hoping that someone would come in and then he wouldn't be able to hurt me or use me anymore.
He turned the lights off and played music from his phone so that no one would be able to hear my struggles.
"Hey kitten, miss me yet?" he said, flashing that damned crooked smile.
I hated that smile. I hated him. I hated how he did these things to me. I hated how I became powerless and weak to stop him from doing it. I hated how I couldn't tell anyone anymore.
He stalked over toward me, his eyes were filled with lust, hunger and some other weird, but normal for him emotion. He took the chair that was next to me, moving it to the other table and pulled me up from my chair, slamming me against the wall.
I was used to this by now. This had been going on for months now. Maybe even a year. It's been like this since the second semester of sophomore year. I wonder how many bruises had I covered up in that span of time?
His hands were on my thighs, squeezing them both painfully hard as his lips dominated my own.
It's sad how I had gotten so used to this. I knew what to do to tune this out, to tune him out. I knew I couldn't do anything to stop him. No one would believe me and this bastard knew it.
His hands were on my hips; his fingers were digging into the skin, causing me to cry silently into his mouth.
His lips came down to my neck, biting it, stretching the skin with his teeth and pulling at it. Over and over again, until his mark was made. Or until he was proud of the pain it had caused.
It wasn't always like this though. We both knew it.
I wanted to close my eyes, but in fear of what he might do, I kept them open.
His breath hit my ear, causing my stomach to do flips. I wanted to throw up so badly.
"Someone's enjoying this?" he whispered, running his tongue over my neck and up to my ear.
So gross, so very gross, I want to rip that damned tongue out of his mouth. But I can't, it would for some reason cause me heart ache to kill him.
Maybe it was because of the kid we would have had, if it had survived his hits. Though I never told him, much less anyone, other than Angela and how could I tell him? He wouldn't believe me until I showed him her little grave. I had buried everything about her.
Her little shoes, her certificate, her footprints, my love for her, everything that was her, went into that box in the ground.
Tears threatened to surface, but I didn't let it happen. He would think he was the cause and hurt me worse than what he's done in the past.
His hands rested on my throat.
He's almost done with me. He'll be finished this time and never come back. Even though the sickest, most damaged part of me will love him and would even miss the creep. The other part of me, the part that's tired of it, won't.
His hands tightened around the base of my neck. I looked at him this time, silently egging him on, wishing he would do what I was so scared to do. But we both know it wouldn't happen.
He chuckled, his white canines smiling back at me in the darkness. My hands were shaking, I wanted to run, but I knew my body wouldn't let me to do that.
"You want this?" he asked, his fingers rubbing the skin over my windpipe with enough pressure to make it a warning.
I glared at him, wanting nothing more than to spit on his face. I didn't dare speak, lest my voice wavered and gives me away.
"I'd grant that wish, if I didn't enjoy this" he cupped my crotch through my clothes to emphasize, "so much as you did."
"I don't enjoy this. You know it. You're just a sick, twisted monster!" I hissed out, his fingers squeezing my neck painfully tight.
Air was cut off from my lungs as my hands struggled to pry his fingers from my throat, which only granted me with him adding more pressure. I could feel my eyes bugging out of my own head as I looked back at him, the monster.
I could feel a small smile form on my lips as the black spots formed. I let my hands fall down to my sides. My eyes closed, my brain slowly giving up the battle on life.
I felt his lips on my ear again, his breath was hot.
"Do you think I'd actually let go of my only toy so easily?" he said, chuckling darkly and let go of my neck.
I could feel the rush as I inhaled the much needed air back into my body; I fell on my knees and rubbed my throat. Glaring up at him, I pushed him away from me. He stumbled, walking back to me and pulled my hair back. I hissed in pain, my hands grabbing at his to let go.
"I like you in this position, Kitten." He said, using his other hand to force my chin upward to look up at him. His fingers went over my lips, parting them. He smiled wickedly at me, my eyes widening as he shoved two of his fingers into my mouth, causing me to gag.
"Good girl." He cooed.
I bit down on his fingers, smiling as he quickly took them out of my mouth.
Oh gross, they taste awful. I really want to just toss my damn cookies all over the floor right now. But more importantly, I want him to let go of my hair.
Ugh what was with guys and grabbing a girls' fucking hair? That was such a low blow. Oh. I could do that. Why didn't I think of that?
He pulled my face to the front of his jeans, ordering me to do something that I probably would really vomit if I did. I stared up at him, defiantly.
Hell to the no. I am not going to do that. Who knows where that nasty thing has been? I would rather just die then take him in my mouth. Knowing me, I'd bite that thing off. That is very tempting though, now that I think about it.
His hand grabbed both of my wrists and held them together over my head, while his other hand began fumbling with his jeans.
"I'll rip that thing off, creeper, I swear to you I will." I thrashed around, before he shoved me back against the wall with his legs trapping my upper body.
Ugh, I hated this guy. He could die, yet I would still care. What has he done to me? I barely even know myself anymore. What have I become?
"Say you want it. Say you want me, and maybe I'll be nice and give you what you ask for." He smirked again.
"I'd rather you kill me, then do that. Because knowing me, I'd rip it off and let you bleed out on this floor." I said calmly.
He chuckled darkly, closing his eyes as he lifted me to my feet. He dusted the little dirt I had on my clothes from being on the floor and when he was done, he looked down on me.
"I'm so sorry for this. I just lose control whenever we're alone. Forgive me. I really didn't mean to hurt you, you just drive me crazy." He said, backing away, his eyes were filled with so many emotions. In his eyes were sadness, confusion, anger, and maybe even love?
I couldn't understand why there was love in his eyes. He hated me, had to have hated me in order to do all of this. I could understand all of his other emotions, but why love? That was my biggest question.
He fixed his clothes, walking away from me and left me while I was in my own thoughts.
Did he feel love towards me? If so, that just made things more complicated for me and my over thinking brain. He's never mentioned love though.
Ugh, I need Angela now more than ever.
The day went by very quickly. I guess it was because I had spent most of it writing, doing assignments, or just being inside my head. As I was on my way to my car, a voice stopped me in my tracks.
"Well, well, well if it isn't Hells Bells." Ugh that fake southern voice sounded like Lauren.
I turned around to see Lauren and Tanya. They were popular rejects, so they hung out with anyone that didn't turn them away at first glance.
They became friends when they had both been "left behind" by their other friend, Jessica and Rosalie. My guess was that they had dropped them was because they found out that Lauren and Tanya were just full of shit as well as themselves.
Sad part is they couldn't even see it. What a pity.
"What now?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest and readjusted my bags seeing as how I might be here for a while.
Lauren was the first to speak, "Are you dating Edward? You know for a fact that Tanya saw him first, and he was going to ask her out before he saw your man-stealing self." She nearly shrieked out.
I rubbed my ears, shrugging at her accusation.
"Are you or are you not?" Tanya asked, speaking for herself for once.
"If I am, I am. If I'm not, I think you can figure the rest out." I said, looking at my phone that was suddenly buzzing like crazy.
12 messages, 4 voicemails and 27 missed calls within the hour? Who the hell does this? Oh, it's just the Creeper. I forgot I accidently gave him my number. Ugh, why in the seventh circle of hell did I do that?
Oh that's right. We dated before he turned into this what he is now. That's a story for later though.
"Smart ass, but everyone says you're just all talk and no bite." Lauren said, smirking.
"Why fight when I have pictures as well as words that could have you destroy your very existence right now? I don't have to resort to using my fists when my words do more psychological damage." I smirked wickedly at the two of them.
They knew my reputation; the school was soon coming to learn that it was true as well.
Maybe these two should be the perfect example? Oh, they already were. Such a shame, however some take twice to learn from their mistakes. What a wonderful proposition to take on.
"Funny how you say I steal men, when your friend, Lauren has "Taken" every boyfriend you've had." I yawned out, fanning away the sleepiness that dared to take over.
I wasn't done with them yet and they knew it.
"What are you saying? Lauren is my sister! She'd never do that to me! She cares about me!" Tanya said, shaking her head, her short black curls moved slightly.
Lauren began to look around, her almost honey almond hair moved with her head, covering her shoulders. Her face scrunched up, her eyes held anger in them.
I smiled now. This made me pleased. I had gotten into her head and bothered her, caused her to get angry.
Lauren looked as though she were about to charge at me like the bull she looked like. But she didn't. She regained her composure before speaking.
"Unlike you, I would never use my friends for my own benefits." She said coolly, smirking.
"You mean to say that you've stopped your old habits? You have ALWAYS used everyone to get what you wanted; you used Jessica because she had something you wanted. And when she saw through you, like Tanya will, she left you and made new friends. You are nothing but a leech. You suck up everything people give you and give nothing in return, not even a thank you. Why? Because that's probably what you're family does to you at home, or maybe all your past relationships." I spat out, walking away from the two idiots.
Ugh, now I have to see what Edward wants. He's calling me again. Hopefully, it's to say that he's done with me or he's found someone that he can be with so he doesn't have to do these horrible things anymore.
Authors' Note: Okay, so I don't know if you all want me to include their (Edward and Bella's) back story or what. If I get at least 5 or 6 reviews from y'all, I will include it in the next chapter. Hopefully y'all are enjoying it; I'm trying my best to do a good job at keeping this updated and reading your reviews and questions if you have any. Sorry for this long A.N.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Chapter Three: Secrets
It was now February, and I had yet to leave this school, to leave him. Why did I feel so drawn to him, yet so repulsed by him? What was wrong with me? I need to see a therapist.
I answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Why haven't you been answering my calls or messages? I know you've seen them. Never mind, I'll see you tonight." He said.
With that he hung up, leaving me confused, yet again.
Wait, what did he mean by coming to see me tonight? He doesn't even have my address. Or does he? He probably does, but it doesn't mean I have to open the door for him.
Well, I probably would, even if there's a bunch of little alarms going off in my head saying I shouldn't. There was just something about this boy that drove me crazy.
Maybe I was starting to like all the abuse that I couldn't even see it as being abusive toward me anymore? There's this rational side that knows, without a doubt that this is wrong and that I shouldn't deal with this. Then there's the stronger side of me, which sees this as Edward showing his love for me and keeping his promise.
~Buzz Buzz~
Another text from him, I can barely conceal my excitement.
Edward: Where are you? It is 6 o'clock and I have yet to see your car in your driveway.
Ugh what kind of guy just waits around like that? Doesn't he have anything better to do?
Me: What the hell are you doing at my house, you creep?"
Edward: Waiting on you. Where are you? Never mind, just get here now.
Me: No way. Get off my property or I call the cops. Goodbye.
Why did I have to date him? Why did no one stop me from doing this? Oh that's right, I dated him because he seemed like a nice, funny, sweet, weird guy. He wasn't always like this though. I keep going back to how he was, how he used to be.
The thought made me smile.
~Ring Ring Ring~
"Hello?"
"Hey Bells! Jessica and I were in the neighborhood and wanted to know if you wanted to go to the fair with us and a few others Downtown?" Angela asked.
Jessica must have been driving around because music was playing in the background and her driving voice as well as the screeching sound of tires was heard.
"Sure, tomorrow? Or next weekend?"
"Tomorrow, so Jessica will drive by and come get you in the morning."
"Alright, I'll have money for her gas and will see if I can go by the bank or scrape up some change and I'll see y'all in the morning."
"Alright Bella, see you tomorrow!"
"Alright Angela, see you then!"
I hung up the phone after that, putting my phone back into my bag and turned on my street.
It's so good to be home. I have to feed Cutiepie, I'm sure she's hungry by now, and probably needs her pads changed.
By then I had pulled up into my driveway and he was nowhere to be found. I parked my car, turned it off and locked it when I had gotten everything I needed out. I walked to the front door, unlocking it and going inside.
Then my vision went black.
~Unknown amount of hours passed~
Ouch. Why does my head hurt so much?
I went to rub the sore spot, sitting up on a bed? This was not my room.
I couldn't see much. The lights were off. The only light that came in was from the moon light through the window. Where was I? The room looked very familiar.
The door opened, light came in from the doorway. A figure's shadow was in the middle of the light. I grabbed whatever was next to me for a weapon.
I looked down at what I found and saw that it was a pillow.
Are you serious right now? Of all the things to fight with, like am I going to be able to kill him with pillow feathers or something? I highly doubt it. But, it's worth a shot.
"Oh I didn't expect you to wake up so suddenly, kitten."
That voice? This must be his house. Or should I say lair? Somehow that seems to fit much better.
He came into my line of sight. He was holding something, it looked like clothing. Why was he carrying a woman's clothes?
"What am I doing here? Wait, did you carry me all the way here?" I ask, looking down at myself suddenly.
Those were my clothes. This is the last place I wanted to be naked. Why was this guy so bent on keeping me?
"Hush Kitten, all that will come later, for now, I'd like to just enjoy our moments we have before my mother returns."
He stalked toward me, taking off his clothes with every step. I didn't try to escape, remembering what happened last time. I pulled the covers up to shield my body away from his hungry eyes.
Maybe I could talk my way out of this? It worked a few times in the past. Maybe this time it can work again and bring out the other side of him, perhaps his real side?
"Please don't. I don't want this. You know I don't." I pleaded, scolding myself internally for sounding so weak.
He was naked now.
Seriously, what did I see in him? His body isn't the best, but it very well may be the worst I've seen. Yeah, it most likely is the worse. I guess personality can make a huge difference, because I knew I didn't stay with him for the sex. It was always horrible, as well as short in time.
I was dragged forward by my ankles to him, the cover was already gone. His body was hovering over mine. He breathed heavily on my face, making me scrunch my face in disgust as his smell covered my senses.
Oh gross, he still dips. I don't have any problem with people who do it; I just wouldn't kiss them because it tends to leave an odor on their body. Which is weird, because it doesn't affect their breath, it just makes everything on them sort of taste bad or like dip. Ugh no wonder he repulsed me now on a major level, the smell of him was my kind of repellent. I doubt he knew.
My eyes scanned around the room, searching for all, if any, and possible escape routes.
Escape was already futile, yet my brain still thought we had a chance. I'm glad one of us is willing to try. My body had given up when I saw him, just accepted its fate. How selfish.
His fingers were doing pleasurable things at first, and then he saw that I may have been having some enjoyment and it angered him to no end.
So, there were no more soft kisses, loving holds, or delicate menstruations. His monster was unhappy; therefore he was unhappy, which resulted in him giving me pain. Unrelenting, mind searing pain that I was forced to submit to.
"Please stop, Edward. I don't want this. You're hurting me." I whimpered out when he had stopped his hand that was so bent on stretching me from the inside out.
He didn't seem to listen. He continued his onslaught on my body, placing his other hand on top of my stomach in order to stop my body from writhing in pain.
I tried earnestly to move away from him, the headboard stopped me from escaping, as well as his hands.
When I looked back up at him for the first time, his eyes were soft as he looked down at my body, settling his body between my legs.
No, no, no, not this. Anything but this, I don't want this. Hands move! Legs kick! Do something! Hurt him, do anything to keep it from happening!
I battled with myself internally, my body finally responding to its master and began to thrash around.
He held my arms over my head, kicking my legs open farther apart with his knees. His eyes were empty again, as if someone else had taken over his mind and body.
He positioned himself, surging forward. Eliciting silent screams from my mouth, I turned my head to the side and refused to look at him.
He saw that as a sign of resisting him. He turned my head to face him, to stare into the soul-less pits that were his eyes.
"Look at me, kitten." He breathed out.
"No! Just hurry up and get off of me." I said, my voice breaking at the end.
I wanted to curl up and vanish. Why was this happening to me? Was I so blinded by my likeness for him that I never saw his truer side surface? I must have been. I just want him off of me.
He's trying to kiss me now. Is he trying to make this sensual? I want to vomit. I feel like I'm going to vomit. Hold it in. just make it until you can get home.
"What are you thinking?" He asked, turning my head again until I was able to stare into his eyes.
Did he just ask me such an inane question? Just ignore him if you can, Bella. It's not worth getting hit or worse, him going longer.
"You really don't want to know. Just hurry and finish so I can leave." I hissed out, pulling my head away from his grip.
~SLAP~
His hits hurt more than his man downstairs. How amusing. The fair! I won't be able to go. I should call them to let them know that I won't be able to go anymore.
"I think you'll stay for another round with that mouth of yours." He said, obviously nearing his release.
"We both know it's not going to happen. It never does." I spat out, my smart ass side coming out.
~SLAP, SLAP~
A punch to my stomach as well as another slap to my face, more bruises to hide from friends.
Though, with enough makeup, they wouldn't even question anything. Besides I didn't really want to worry them about my troubles, they had their own problems to deal with; they didn't need to listen to mine when they had enough of their own.
He came on my stomach. Getting up to get me a towel, he had said. He came back in the room after a few seconds, wiping it off of me.
When he was done, I got my clothes from the dresser it laid on top of and got dressed. He tried to apologize, telling me that he didn't mean to, that it was a mistake, that he'd never do it again.
He broke his promise. But then again, he always said that he would do this to me one day. That he'd do something like this, something I'd never be able to forgive him for and that I'd hate him.
But, I still don't hate him. I can't bring myself to ever completely hate him. The sad part about this is that I'd probably take him back in my arms if he asked me back.
How sick can a person get before they finally snap? What will make me snap? What or who should I say, will be the cause of it? The last drop in my bucket before I finally just tip over and everything comes flooding in, drowning me completely?
I walked out of his room, not really remembering how to get home from his house, but it shouldn't be too hard, right?
"Wait, I'll walk you home. It's the least I can do, Bella." He said. His voice was soft, almost child-like.
I kept walking, not really knowing where I was going. I needed to get home.
'Numb' by Linkin Park came into my head.
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
become so tired, so much more aware
by becoming this all I want to do
is be more like me and be less like you
Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you
I have to call Angela.