A quick update for those of you who don't know, but I've spent the last four days in hospital :( but whilst I was there I wrote this, pretty clear where the inspiration came from!
I'm so close to being all better, just have to start eating again!
Step ;)
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
'You're talking bollocks Ron!'
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
'No I'm not. You are!'
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
'If it wasn't for me, we wouldn't be here and she wouldn't be lying behind me unconscious!'
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
'She has a name Harry!'
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
'Really? You're going to have a go at me about that now? Look it's my fault that Hermione is lying in a muggle hospital bed attached to a drip!'
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
Oh, so that's where I am.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
I'm not sure at what point waking up to Ron and Harry screaming at each other became a comfort, or at least something that didn't alarm me. I'd rather have them at each other's throats than them not able to do that at all.
'If you hadn't been with me then none of this would have happened! I've told you, you have to let me do this on my own. I've let you come this far and I appreciate what you've done, but no more. No more people can get hurt because of me! I can't live with it anymore!'
'And you think shutting yourself off from everyone who wants to…needs to help you through whatever shit gets thrown at you will make them all safe and warm and cosy at home do you?'
'Well…they might…it's safer than being with me!'
'No, it's NOT!'
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
So we were on this again. Of course we were.
I opened my eyes a touch and let them adjust to the harsh lights above me before opening them properly. I squinted around the room and caught sight of Harry pacing backwards and forwards at the end of my bed and glaring at Ron. Ron on the other hand was stood firm in front of the door, arms folded and glaring at Harry.
It made me smile the way the two of them coped with their anger. Harry was one to jump to action as soon as something was wrong, charging in without a second thought for himself, (hence the pacing,) and Ron took stock of things for a minute before deciding which plan of action to go ahead with, (hence his standing and glaring routine). They both had their advantages and disadvantages.
My advantage? Having them both beside me.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
You know, I never knew drips made a noise.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
'Ron, you can't deny that Hermione being with me today is the reason she's unconscious now!'
'No I can't, but I can guarantee you that if she hadn't been with you today then she'd have been dead last week. I would have too.'
My want to make myself heard just disappeared.
'What?'
Couldn't have put it better myself.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
It's weird how sounds can fade out completely when you're not concentrating on them.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
'What happened last week, Harry?'
I shuddered slightly, the memory of that was something I didn't need at the minute.
'You know what happened last week Ron, so do I, I don't need reminding.'
'I bloody do! It's what's keeping me here when all I really want to do is go home and hide. It's things like that that tell me exactly why I'm taking the hard way out of this, not the easy way!'
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
I loved it when he was like this.
I looked him directly in the eye and he looked at me, his eyes widened as he realised I was no longer unconscious. He went to move from his position but I widened my eyes and looked pointedly at Harry. I mouthed 'I'm fine' at him then 'he's not' as I once again looked at Harry. After a few seconds he closed his eyes and nodded, knowing that for the next few minutes Harry and his issues were more important than me and mine.
I wasn't going anywhere. Harry was potentially dangerous if he did.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
'One of the Order Secret Keepers was caught, tortured and forced to tell the Death Eaters who caught him where one of our hideouts is…was. It was attacked, your dad…your dad and two other Order members were put in comas, and four Aurors were killed.'
'And where would Hermione and I've been if we weren't here with you?'
'You might not have been there!'
'Harry I can guarantee you we would have been there. If Dad was there, I'd've been there and therefore Hermione would have been there too, you know she doesn't leave my side. I've accepted that she needs to be a part of this war. As much as it kills me to watch her go through what we go through, and all I want her to do is be somewhere safe, I'd rather her be here with me where I can look after her…or at least try.'
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr.
A lump formed in my throat and I closed my eyes. He can be possessive over me as much as he wants. I love him too much to care.
'Neither of you would have died! Your dad will wake up soon enough, and if you were in the same state as him then you two would have too! I don't want you with me anymore. I'm going to do this alone.'
I wonder if…yeah, there's the guttural roar of frustration from Ron. I opened my eyes and watched Harry walk over to the window. Ron looked at me and mouthed 'will you talk to him?' at me and I nodded.
'I'm going!' Harry stated angrily.
'You're not going anywhere!'
'Yes I am.'
'No you're not.
Click…Whirr, Click…WhirrHarry went to push his way past Ron, which he should really know better about trying to do, and Ron easily pushed him backwards. There was a struggle between the two best friends and eventually Ron managed to muscle his way out of the door without letting Harry out. He waved a locking spell on the door with a look of triumph on his face and when Harry went to take his wand out of his robes Ron waved it through the glass in the window.
'Give me my wand!'
Ron merely shook his head and walked off.
My turn.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr
Harry kicked the door in defiance.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr
'How many times have I told you kicking things isn't the answer to anything?'
My throat was dry and I was slightly concerned at what I sounded like, but that didn't matter for the minute.
'You're awake!'
'I am. Will you help me sit up?'
'Yes…No…I mean, I don't know if you're meant to be sitting up or not.'
'Harry I don't care if I'm meant to be sitting up or not! I want to be sat up! It's so much harder trying to get through to you when I can't glare at you properly!'
I thought he was going to smirk but instead he frowned. He walked round to the other side of the bed and unhooked something. Then I feel myself being sat up by the hydraulic bed.
'Arthur would love this you know.'
'If he was conscious to appreciate it, he would.'
'He will be soon.'
'How much did you hear?'
'Of what?'
'You're too smart to play the ignorance card, Hermione. How much of mine and Ron's conversation did you hear?'
'I believe the words 'You're talking Bollocks Ron' woke me up.'
His eyes widened and the bed momentarily stopped sitting me up.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr
I started moving again. A few seconds later I stopped. I shifted in my seat to rearrange the sheets and Harry held my pillow to stop it falling as I did.
'I'd tell Ron you're awake but he's locked me in here.'
'It's okay, he knows.'
His brow furrowed.
'How?'
'I caught his eye earlier.'
'Why didn't he say something?' he asked, he was starting to get cross now.
'I think Ron knows my 'don't you dare' stare by now Harry. I knew if he stopped arguing with you, you'd storm off and do your best to hide yourself away. Judging by the rest of the conversation you had, it'd be weeks before we'd find you again.'
'If you found me at all,' he mumbled.
'We wouldn't stop until we did.'
He turned away from me and stalked back towards the window.
'When are either of you going to get it into your heads that I don't want you with me through this?'
'Harry which part of 'we're with you whatever happens' didn't you understand? And, come to think of it, you seemed to accept our decision at the time, why are you having such problems with it now?'
'Because at the time I…you weren't lying in hospital after being attacked!'
'Harry I was hit by an impediment jinx and was thrown into a car, in fairness I did bounce off it quite violently but I've survived worse and I will continue to do so. We both will, we will not leave you to do this on your own! This wasn't your fault! You have to stop thinking that every time someone gets the slightest bit hurt is in someway related to you, it isn't. People get hurt Harry, that's the way it is.'
He didn't turn round but his shoulders slumped slightly. I looked over myself, my left wrist was in some sort of brace, possibly a fractured wrist, my head hurts, probably a wound from hitting the bonnet of the car, it hurts when I breathe, probably compression issues from the spell. Nothing too serious, nothing a few wand waves and a potion won't fix. I just have to get out of here with as little fuss as possible.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr
Oh, I forgot about that. Not sure about that one.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr
'I just…I just know I couldn't live with myself if either of you, or both of you…died. I don't know how I'd face each day knowing you weren't…'
I knew he was crying; he always stopped talking when he was about to start.
'Harry come here.'
He shook his head and didn't move.
'Please.'
He took a deep shuddering breath but still didn't move.
'Harry I've seen you cry six times, you should be over your embarrassment by now!'
He turned and smiled and walked towards my bed.
I took his hand in my un-braced hand and gave it a squeeze.
'Harry, we both knew exactly what we signed up for when we said we were coming with you, it's not as if we jumped in feet first without reading the fine print! We know it'll be dangerous and we know there are huge risks but we need to be with you and help you through this. It's too much for one person to deal with. You don't risk being petrified, Dementor attacks and Death Eaters if you don't think someone is worth it, do you?'
He shrugged.
'Can I ask you something Harry?'
'Only if it won't help to prove your point.'
I ignored the comment.
'If everything had been different, if you'd have been in Ron's position and you'd watched someone you were best friends with go through everything you have and then at the most challenging time he'd turned around and said to leave him alone to keep yourself safe, what would you have done?'
'I'd have done as he'd ask.'
'You talk some bollocks on occasion Potter!'
'Hermione!'
'And you're a bad liar too! You and I both know that you would have been as stubborn as Ron and me are being now. You'd have stuck by him through it all to the end. No matter what.'
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr
'I thought you'd only seen me cry three times.'
'You're not as good at hiding as you think you are. That and we put a locator spell on you when you were asleep one night.'
'You what?'
'You can get as angry as you like Harry, I don't care! It's necessary in times like these. We put them on all three of us so we're always findable to the other two.'
'Okay, ignoring the fact that I'm really quite annoyed at being hexed in my sleep, what if I get captured and they force your whereabouts out of me?'
'Harry give me some credit please! Do you think I didn't consider that? I er…adapted the spell somewhat, you have to want to know where we are for it to work, being forced to say anything doesn't make it work.'
'But what about Imperius?'
'That doesn't work either.'
'How do you know?'
'You know, this really is off topic!'
'I don't care! Tell me how you know Imperius doesn't work!'
'We cursed each other to make sure.'
I don't think mumbling helped soften the blow.
'Oh, this gets better! Not only are my best mates in permanent danger, they're now having to illegally curse themselves for my benefit!'
'It's not as if we hurt each other! This is a pointless conversation anyway because only the three of us know about it! No one will find about but us!'
Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw Ron move past the window. A second later he appeared again and carried on moving, obviously seeing if I had managed to talk Harry round yet, or not.
Time to change tack I think.
'It's simple enough Harry, you either accept the fact that we are here to stay and accept our help willingly, or you continue to push us away and make things really hard for all three of us. Either way we're with you. The choice is yours.'
'Where's the 'you go it alone Harry and we'll stay safe' option?'
'There isn't one, there never has been and there never will be.'
'Whatever I say?'
'Whatever you say.'
'Whatever I do?'
'Whatever you do.'
'Even if I go and hide on the other side of the world?'
'It'll only prove to you how good my locator spell is. Did I mention it worked better when there is two people doing it at the same time?'
'No, you didn't. But what if-'
'What if you die alone Harry? That's something I couldn't live with. Even if…even if…'
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr
'Even if what?'
'It doesn't matter.'
'Now's not the time Hermione!'
'Fine…Even if I had tried everything I could to save you…but…but couldn't. I'd want to be there…with you. No one should have to face that alone.'
'I er…'
'Can I have a hug Harry?'
'Of…of course.'
He leant forward and hugged me. Ron appeared at the window and stopped looking hopeful. I tilted my head, silently telling him to come in the room. He unlocked the door and slid in quietly.
Harry pulled back and looked at Ron and then me.
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr
Click…Whirr, Click…Whirr
'So er…how does this locator spell work then?'
