Risa: WE'RE BACK! IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE TREAD THESE HOLLOWED HALLS!

Jade: And who's to blame for that?

Risa: Um...my boss? The all-mighty master of community college?

Jade: What about BEFORE that?

Risa: Youtube.

Jade: ...wow...sigh

Risa: ANYwho. We are back.

Jade: Redundancy much?

Risa: OH! Don't forget the leprechans that stole my flash drive.

Jade: You have leprechans? We have gremlins at my house.

Risa: It seems wonderful but they're annoying. They NEVER leave gold lying around.

Jade: Uh-huh...

Risa: So, this is our rendition of the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. Hopefully you haven't forgotten my...er...our amazingness.

Jade: Get on with it!

Risa: Right, so enjoy the insaneness that results in us!

Bare feet, Disgruntled brats, and Injured lampposts

I hate dresses, and make up, and anything girly. Except cupcakes. I adore cupcakes. Me and cupcakes get along VERY well for the short time we've known each other.

Sorry, tangent.

ANYway, the prom doesn't really mix with me real well but I have friends who give me no choice. Because they LOVE me or something odd like that. Even saying this, my dress is amazing. By the grace of some higher power (you KNOW who I'm talking about) I managed to get it for free and it was just…wow. I hated the shoes though.

"If I sit still a moment longer, someone is going to die." I muttered, staring at the pizza that somehow still remained in the box longingly.

"You are not eating that. Grease and make-up equals doing it ALL over again."

"For a slice of heaven, I might do that." Delilah groaned and October promptly walked over and stole the last piece as Jaden and Delilah held me down.

"WE ARE NOT GOING TO TRY AND FIX YOU AGAIN!" October told me, "you're worse than a five year old."

"Make-up feels heavy."

Jaden raised her hand, "I kind of agree that make-up isn't necessary."

"But you have no say in this matter, Jade!" We all laughed and then I returned to pouting.

"Sit still."

"You're going to burn me."

"I will if you don't SIT STILL." The smell of hairspray was evident and I took it as a sign they were done torturing me. As soon as the spraying sound stopped, I jumped up and ran away.

"RISA!"

"Not until I see Aslan."

"Really, now?" October laughed and I ignored her, looking at Jaden with a pained expression.

Jaden nodded her understanding, a wistful (that's a fun word!) expression coming on her face. It was odd to think how much time had passed since we'd had our adventure on the Dawn Treader, nearly dying a bazillion times, and meeting the Great Lion Himself before we had to leave. Lucy and Edmund and Caspian were counted as some of my best friends and it was still questionable on whether we'd ever see them again. The real world and I mixed even worse than before. The flower I'd accidently brought back was sitting on Delilah's computer desk, it's gentle fragrance piercing the wall of hairspray.

I had gotten rather obsessed in saying that I wanted to go to Narnia again, to Jaden's dismay. The others took it off as a joke but Jaden knew I wasn't exactly happy in the real world anymore. Algebra could not compare to being taught to swordfight by a Mouse. EVER. It just wouldn't work.

"I'm going into your closet, Delly-chan, and am going to say hi to Aslan."

It also didn't help I was a bit high off of Monster, pizza, and hairspray. Not a good mix when you throw me into the mix. Everyone shook their heads as I sprinted up the stairs and burst into her room. I stood at the closet for a moment, wondering if it was such a good idea to actually do this. A small part of me actually hoped this would work, as it had for the first two months after we'd gotten back. I had walked into every closet, knowing that it could break the thin veil that rested between this world and Narnia.

I heard my friends behind me and I dispelled any sense of horror at that happening and grabbed Jade's wrist.

"I can't have a Narnia adventure without you!" And I dragged her into the closet.

She yelped as we plunged into it.

Then it was oddly silent. Del and October weren't jeering at me and yelling at me that my hair wasn't ready for going to Narnia.

"Risa, really? Aslan isn't in Delilah's closet." Jaden was still finding her feet and trying to wrench her wrist from my grasp. I was smelling the closet.

"Yes, he is, my darling." I started to giggled like the madwoman I was. She looked at me weird and then her eyes widened as she caught the smell of pine and winter.

I admit that I was crying. A lot. Out of happiness. That pure joy that comes from feeling at home. I pushed through Del's clothes and my feet were suddenly cold and wet and for once I couldn't find room to complain about the cold.

Jaden looked like a little kid, spinning around in the snow. Then we realized we were going to freeze to death at the exact same moment.

There was a pair of slippers, the boot kind, a sweatshirt, and a coat. I forced the slippers on Jaden as my feet are so full of calluses it's nasty and I could survive the cold.

"Then you get the coat. You have no insulation."

"Fine, fine. Let's just get out of here. This closet still smells like our world."

Jaden rolled her eyes and we headed off. We smacked each other with snow balls for who knows how long (until my hands were slightly numb) and then we set off.

It took five minutes for us to find tracks in the snow. We were feeling a bit touristy as we hadn't actually set foot on the mainland Narnia when we spotted them. Jade probably won't admit it but she let out an excited squeak when she saw them.

They were huge footprints of some sort of cat. A cat that couldn't really be called a cat.

"Aslan!" I screamed, starting after the footprints with my friend beside me. That was when she slapped her hand over my mouth.

"The trees!" She hissed, looking around like she could tell which one was which.

"Oh, blast it all!" A slight English lilt found its way into my voice as the Narnian air into my voice box. Jaden nearly threw me into the snow at the accent and I was sent into a fit of giggles as I ran after the footprints.

"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO START THAT CRAP AGAIN IT'S CONTAGOUS!"

"Too late!"

Then I tripped and barely caught myself on a tree…or it caught me unless I just started to hallucinate as well as simply being insane. Then we stopped, though I was waiting for an ambush from my dearly beloved Jaden. I haven't had a walk like that in years. My feet were indeed cold but I couldn't care. Though I wanted my lily with me, simply breathing in Narnia was enough for me.

Then the footprints stopped and I started panicking a teensy bit. If I know a forest, I can find my way anywhere, but this is NARNIA and I hadn't exactly been paying any attention, like at all.

"H-ello there." Said a slightly terrified voice.

"So THAT's what book we're in." I mused as a faun suddenly appeared from the trees. Jaden shoved me into a tree, effectively shutting me up.

"E-excuse me?"

"She's delusional, don't pay her any mind."

"Okay…" He looked like he was either ready to run away or smack me with the umbrella he was holding like an awkward sword.

"So how are you this fine day, dear faun?"

"W-well, I suppose I'm f-fine."

"But this is Narnia, isn't it? You can't be any less than fantastic here!"

"Risa, don't include him in you delusions. It isn't polite."

"I deny you."

"Actually, there isn't much reason for it to be fantastic nowadays." His eyes were downcast as he spoke and he suddenly looked nervous to be in the trees.

"Why's that? You'd think the footprints wou—"

Jade must be a professional at shutting me up because she jabbed the exact place that always makes me squeak so I couldn't finish my sentence. It was too late though and the faun looked curious.

"Footprints?"

"Yeah, right…" I trailed off as I looked for the footprints that weren't there any longer. Just my barefooted ones and Jade's booted ones. No giant lion footprints leading us to getting lost in the forest. (which was pleasant, though!)

"No matter," Jaden said, dragging me towards the faun to keep me from wailing my despair that there weren't any footprints, even though it was obviously necessary that they weren't there anymore. She'd probably had seen it before me because I get distracted easily. I mean really easily. It's absolutely ridiculous how easily I get distracted. Squirrels, shiny objects, mice, that random spot on the wall that nobody knows where it came from, a train, red vines, books, that random spot on the floor that's colder than the rest of it, a plant, a—

"Stop thinking in a tangent."

"How the heck did you know?"

"You get a weird look in your eye when you're thinking about things nobody cares about."

The faun started backing away as we started towards him. I frowned.

"Am I really that scary, Jaden? I know I scare people but—"

"Are you a Daughter of Eve?"

"Who are we talking about now?"

He pointed at me and I nodded enthusiastically. Jaden frowned, her grip on me loosening for long enough for me to pull my arm out of it.

"What about me?"

"I am wondering what a dwarf is doing with a Daughter of Eve." He sounded a little bit frightened, as well he should, calling Jaden a dwarf like that. The last person is still in the hospital.

"I am also a Daughter of Eve," she growled, and he took a small step backwards, ready to run if she should charge.

"She's vertically challenged, don't pay her any mind."

"And I admit I'm a bit touchy about it." So I got punched, just then. I gave her a look of disbelief and nearly tackled her.

"You must—"

"Yeah, yeah, some of the trees are on her side. Let's go to your cave, my feet are cold."

"RISA!"

"You're friend is correct."

"HERE THAT JADE, I'M CORRECT!" I grinned at the faun, who was still deciding whether or not to run. "By the way, I'm Clarissa Starr and this is Jade Yellow."

Suddenly Jaden spasmed and I ended up in the snow. I mean that's the ONLY explanation. It isn't like she would actually push me in or anything.

"My name is Jaden Greene. This one may be dead."

"That isn't a pretty name. I don't think Mummy liked me very much."

"I refuse to do it."

"She was a demon." I whispered, trying not to laugh.

"I…I'm Tumnus." Tumnus stuttered, his umbrella trembling, the snow fall

"Is this Pre-Lucy or Post-Lucy?"

"What?"

Jaden pulled me away, trying to get me to stop talking, like normal.

"Have you met a smaller Daughter of Eve at all? Her name is Lucy?"

"Yes! How is she? Did she make it to War Drobe in Spare Oom?" I nearly bust out laughing but Jaden stepped on my foot, forgetting I was without shoes. I sucked in a breath but refused to scream. That would come later when we weren't in front of a skittish Faun.

"She made it back fine, Mr. Tumnus." Jade assured him.

He invited us back to his home and I nodded eagerly, jumping from one foot to the other as the cold had finally made it to my brain. And getting stepped on HURT. THAT'S RIGHT JADE, IT HURT. JERK.

No, actually, I adore her. A lot.

The trek wasn't exactly exciting. Tumnus flinched at every bird call and generally didn't seem to like being outside. It seemed to take forever but we made it to the cave. After he took our coats, he invited us to come in from the entrance way. Jaden was inspecting it, marveling in every detail and I almost did the same but...I got distracted...again. I wandered to the fire and warmed my limbs, that were aching a bit now. My feet barely had any feeling and a burning sensation rushed to me. My Narnia high was over. Suddenly something hit me. I went over to Jaden and Tumnus, who were discussing something that was probably important but I didn't want to lose this question so I interrupted.

"Hey, Tumnus...er...Mr. Tumnus, why did you come out? You looked really nervous since Lucy came."

Tumnus frowned, then looked thoughtful as he started fixing something I could only assume was tea. Jaden looked a bit surprised at the question but I ignored her, trying not to look at the fire so I didn't get lost in it. That was a problem I had while camping.

"I...I don't know. I seemed like someone or something was calling but it felt as if it was inside my head? It was a warm feeling, and I couldn't resist." He started to poor the tea, "I'm sorry, that doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, does it?"

I nodded, understanding the odd explanation. I gave Jade a look and she nodded. This wasn't an accident.

"Continue with your story, Mr. Tumnus, please." She said, sitting down as he offered her a seat. For some reason I couldn't get an edge out of my head so I simply stood behind her, teacup in my hand. I'd never actually drank tea before so I hoped it tasted good.

He started again but some odd sound kept distracting me (there we go again with the distractions. There aren't even any squirrels. I suppose the books would normally distract me but this sound seemed much more interesting, which is odd in itself because I adore books in all their forms...except for one about fairies pretending to be vampires...I flew out of that stage very fast).

"Do you guys hear that?"

"I just hear an odd buzzing." Jaden held one hand over an ear, trying to rid herself of whatever it was.

"No its like-there it is again!"

"Again, delusional."

I ignored her (something I was getting very good at) and listened. My eyes widened as I finally realized what it was. My hands suddenly felt weak and I dropped the teacup, gasping as it shattered.

"I'm sorry but..." My voice barely had any sound, it was weirdly breathy and I barely ever talk like that. Since I came out of my shell, I've become a very loud person.

"It's perfectly fine! Be careful where you step, there's sharp edges."

"We have to go." I felt like I was in a trance and I didn't bother with the coat as I sprinted out.

"Risa!" Ali's voice was distant as I flew through the trees. I don't ever remembering running that fast. Only one being could make the sound that I heard. It was a roar calling my name.

"ASLAN!" I screamed, tripping again. Where was Jade? She wouldn't get lost like this. I couldn't hear him anymore. I was looking around...while running. I swear I was just asking for trouble.

Then a different material struck my hand and I cried out in pain, grabbing my hand. I felt like cussing but I bit my lip and looked at what I had managed to run into.

A lamppost.

Still holding my hands, I stared for a long while, then remembered the trees. I kept going, hoping against hope that I would find the wardrobe.

I did. And I fell.

Just as four children burst into the room. They looked shocked as I picked myself up. I threw my index finger to my lips and smiled. They were so young. Peter had to only be thirteen and the others were even younger.

Then the handle started turning.

"Quick, the wardrobe!" He looked at me desperately and I nodded. We had a small moment where we understood each other and they shot towards the wardrobe. "There's nowhere else!"

I followed them, suddenly remembering I was in a prom dress.

This isn't going to work out very well…

"I wish the MaCready would hurry up and take all these people away," Susan said in a loud whisper, "I'm getting horribly cramped."

"And what a filthy smell of camphor." Edmund said, and I saw his nose wrinkle in the small light the slightly open door let me see. His face wasn't just younger than when we were on the Dawn Treader, it was completely out of character for what I knew him.

"I expect the pockets of these coats are full of it to keep away moths." Susan was already too sensible to hold my attention for very long and I yawned, smoothing my dress over my knees, which were almost up to my knees in an altogether uncomfortable manner. I decided to blame Jaden, because she wasn't here to stop me from doing so.

"There's something sticking to my back," Peter said, making a soft noise as he shifted his weight against the pine needles that he didn't know existed.

"And isn't it cold?"

"Snow is usually cold," I said, and Lucy gave me an odd look from across the terribly small wardrobe. This brought all of the children's (jeez,they were younger than I thought. Peter couldn't be older than thirteen.) attention to me, as if they had just remembered that I'd been in the wardrobe in the first place.

"Who are—"

"Can't we find out her life story after we get out? They've gone." Edumund interrupted Peter and I could tell they were about to start arguing when Susan cried out.

"What is it Susan?" Peter.

"What's the matter, Su?" Lucy.

"What's all that about." Edmund.

"You aren't very good at hiding. Too loud." Me.

"I'm sitting against a tree and look! It's getting light—over there."

I giggled and looked at our dear Eddy-kins. He looked a bit paler than before as Peter started stating the obvious about 'Lucy's wood'. I stood with them and grinned at the trees, hoping against hope they weren't on her side. It was all very odd, being taller than the future High King of Narnia. My eyes widened as I realized I would have to be the mature one until we got together with Jaden again, which would be soon, so it couldn't be too hard.

Peter apologized to Lucy and Lucy pulled a Lucy and forgave him right away. Then they realized that it was probably below freezing.

They looked at me as I took my own coat, always looking at them with a weird expression.

"By jove, I just remembered you. I'm Peter Pevensie and these are my younger siblings, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy."

"I know...er…I was in the house too. I was…er…thinking in the wardrobe when you came in."

"That's odd, I've never seen you before." Susan said, all too suspicious for a twelve year old, if I do say so.

"And I haven't seen you, just heard of you." Oddly, all of this was the truth. I was in the wardrobe, thinking (and running), and I hadn't ever seen her before. "I'm Clairissa Starr. Please call me Risa."

"Your feet!" Lucy cried, pointing. My feet suddenly grew cold once more and I sighed. Not thinking about it had worked up until now.

"Oh dear!" Susan suddenly turned motherly.

"They might be a bit small but you can have my shoes for a while—we can trade." Peter was too chivalrous for his age. I shook my head and looked around. I had to be mature, not him. Crap, I'm not used to this. Aslan?

As if in answer, my eyes turned downward and I saw two shoes. I hesitated as I bent down, my love for my bare feet almost overpowering the sense of cold that nearly killed me. Then I sat on the wood of the wardrobe and slipped them on. To my surprise, I barely felt them on my feet but they kept away the cold. Grinning, I recognized the work of love and silently thanked the still unseen lion.

"Where did those come from?" Susan wondered aloud. I tried to tell her, but found I couldn't open my mouth, and shook my head, something keeping me from screaming. It felt like a hand was placed over my mouth. How does that girl do that?

Then we started off, and I decided to listen to Lucy. We can pretend we are Artctic explorers.

"I say, oughtn't we be bearing bit more to the left, that is, if we are aiming at the lamp-post?" I stared with everyone else, trying not to burst out laughing at Edmund's stricken face as he realized he'd screwed up. Peter started on him and I almost stopped him, knowing Edmund was still a kid now that I saw how incredibly short he was.

"Well, of all the poisonous little beasts—" I put my hand on his shoulder and he shrugged it off. They started off and I was the only one who heard Edmund.

"I'll pay you all out for this, you pack of stuck-up, self satisfied prigs."

It was at that point that I came up with a masterful plan. They didn't have to hate each other! Edmund could just hate me instead! Operation Annoy Eddy-kins commence!

"Eddy-kins, what did you do last time you were here?"

"What did you just call me?" He asked, glaring furiously. I have to say it was a bit adorable coming from a ten year old. Lucy and the others tried their best not to laugh.

"Eddy-kins!"

"Says the one in the ridiculous outfit!"

"Edmund! She was just playing," Susan said, turning read and giving me an apologetic look. I shrugged, agreeing with him but not willing to say it until he behaved himself!

"It's the truth!"

"Ed!" Peter said, giving his younger brother a look.

"Where are we going anyway?" Susan broke it up by changing the subject, but I could still feel the glares of Edmund upon me as I skipped up to Lucy when it was proposed she lead.

"Yes, now don't fall behind, Eddy-kins!"

I admit to singing the song the dwarfs in Snow White sing. It was hard not to. Lucy caught on quickly and started singing with me. I really do adore that girl.

Then I caught sight of the cave before everyone else and a flood of the real plot line nearly toppled me over. Then Lucy noticed the door, ripped from its hinges, and let out a cry as she sprinted towards it. Peter and I were on her heels, with Susan close behind and Edmund sulking even further behind.

"Jaden?" I called, hoping to hear her weakened call from among that horrible wreckage we walked into. It smelled odd, like a place no one ever entered even though you could see evidence of life: broken tea cups, ripped books, a barely recognizable heap that had to be a chair. I even saw a broken flute. "Jade!"