Disclaimer: I do not own RENT. Jonathan larson owns RENT... sort of... WHo does own RENT now that Johnny is dead? Does his sister own it? If you die... can you leave a musical to someone?! Imagine putting that in a will! "And i leave my musical to..."
Please read on!!
It was a normal day in New York City, when two thirteen year old girls ran into an apartment building on seventh avenue, hoped up the stairs two at a time, and dashed down the hallway towards the a door. One of them, a girl about 5'5" with long dirty blond hair skidded to a stop and fished a key ring out of her pocket. The other one couldn't stop in time, but as she tried to, she slid, and slammed right into the wall beside the door. She was a few inches shorter than the other girl, with hair a shade lighter, though it looked like it had been dyed. The first girl fumbled with the keys for a moment, before sliding one into the keyhole and unlocking the door with a soft click. She shoved open the door, and pulled her, mildly dizzy, friend, through the doorway and into the apartment. She slammed the door shut and flipped the light switch. "Ysa!!" The second girl whined as the first girl, Ysa, pulled her through another door and into what must have been her bed room.
The two of them plopped down onto Ysa's bed and she picked up grabbed her laptop, and opened it, jiggling impatiently as it booted up. The second girl, Katie, rubbed her arm and glared at Ysa "If my arm is broken, YOU'RE paying my hospital bills!" She said, and Ysa raised an eyebrow.
"I highly doubt that your arm is broken." Ysa told her, and then looked back at the screen of her computer. She pulled up internet explorer and frowned the moment she saw her homepage. Her eyes widened and she gasped. "Katie look at this post, News from …
'August seventeenth, 2 pm, eastern standard time
Fanfiction will no longer be free
You get the site if you can pay the fee
Yearly or monthly
This effective,
On August 31st at nine Pm'
Ysa Glared at the screen "That just sucks"
"Holy fuck" Katie screeched.
"This can't be happening
I'll kill you all!!" Ysa screeched
Kate looked scared for a minute "You talkin to me?"
Ysa smirked "Not at all"
"I'm just pissed
At all this fanfic shit
It was always free
SO now why should we pay a fee?"
"I bet the owner wants to buy a yacht…"
The phone rings, and the two girls stop and look over at it. Ysa sings "We screen. Zoom in on the answering machine!"
"SPEEEEEAK"
"That was a very loud speak
I don't even know if you are listening… Ysa?
Ysa, are you there? Are you screening your calls, it's your aunt.
I wanted to call and say I love you!!
And your cousins miss you!!
It's Kimmie's birthday today, just like yours!!
I hope you like the Iphone!!
Just don't lose this phone
Like all your other phones!
Oh and Ysa! I'm sorry to hear that David dumped you
I say se la vie!!
So let the boy be gay, I say,
There are other fishies in the sea!!
Love Auntie!!"
"Oh it was always free so why should we-?"
"The phone rings!"
"Again!"
"BEEEEEEEP"
"Happy birthday-" A girl with short brown hair and blue eyes is talking on her cell phone and starts signing happy birthday.
"Anni!!"
"I'll be there soon!!"
"Hey"
"Katie picked up the phone?"
"No it's me"
"I'm just a street away"
"A wild night is now pre-ordained!"
Anni looks to see a bunch of older teens surrounding her. "Umm… I may be detained…"
"What do you mean… detained?" Ysa askes. The kids take Anni's phone and grab her tote bag.
"Hey dyke! What are you doing in our part of town!!" One of the kids taunts.
"Shit!" Anni exclaims, before they start to beat her up.
The scene changes back to Ysa and Katie at the phone. It rings again. "Happy birthday!"
"Danny! Shit!" Ysa and Katie say in unison.
"Girls I'm on my way!" Danny says.
"Great… FUCK!"
"Will you subscribe" Danny asks.
"For what?" They ask
"For Fanfiction!! I need the fees!"
"Money! You said it'd be free! When you bought the website!! When we were best frinds!! Remember?"
"How could I forget!! You, me, Anni, and David! How is the player?"
"He's writing tonight!"
"I know!
Still his beta reader?
Two days ago I was bumped.
You still dating him?
Last month I was dumped."
Katie interrupts "He's in love!"
"He's got a new girl? What's her name?"
"Rodney" The two girls say in unison, and Danny bursts out laughing.
"The bills my amigas, are due, or I'll have to remove you two. Be there in a few"
Danny hangs up and the two girls hang up as well, and go back the the computer, but a moment later, the light shuts off, and the screen goes dark.
"The battery Blows" Ysa narrates.
The two girls stand up and shove the laptop back on Katie's desk. They seem to glare at it for a moment.
"How do you write a good fanfic, when no one drops you a single review!!" Ysa rants. "They mean more than favorites, alerts, and page views!! reviews!!"
Katie: When the wheels don't turn, how do you yearn,
To write something that's worth a read??
When the words sound wrong, The passions gone
Why should we pay to write, if no one wants to read?
Ysa: We don't get reviews!!
Katie: Why should we pay for page views!?
Both: Why should we pay? Why should we pay? Why should we pay? Next months' bill!?
Ysa: It's a rip off!!
Katie: How could we leave this site, where we spend our nights,
Hanging onto every single word?
Ysa: How could we say goodbye-
I won't even try!!"
Both: The idea's absurd!!
Ysa: We just have to pay!!
Katie: So that we can stay!!
Both: How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay?
How we gonna pay-
This month's bill?!
(Lights up on Rodney, who's talking on a cellphone at a computer.)
Rodney: Don't scream, honey it's me- Rodney
You're substitute beta, hey hey hey!!
Did you write?
Don't change the subject David!
But baby!! You haven't written today!!
You won't mess up!!
You won't mess up!!
My spell check… you see
Didn't shut down exactly…
There may have been an error… okay?
You're not calling Ysa!!
Annie: How do you stay on your feet
When on every street
It's trick or treat
And tonight it's trick
Welcome back to town
Oh, I should lie down
Everything is brown
And uh oh…
I feel sick!!
Ysa: Where is she?
Annie: getting Dizzy!! (Collapses)
Ysa & Katie: How we gonna pay?
How we gonna Pay?
Why we gonna pay!?
This month's bill!!
Danny: Come on mom- you sound sad
I don't believe those two after everything I've done!
Since I stopped writing, I'm dirt!!
They'll see I can help them all out in the long run!!
Katie: The lyrics ignite the night with passionate fire-
Rodney: David I'm not good at writing!!
Ysa: The details, They crackle and pop with incendiary wit!!
Rodney: Never ever good at writing!!
Ysa: Zoom in as we burn the past to the ground!!
Katie: and feel the heat of the futures glow!!
Rodney: Hello?? (David hung up)
Ysa: (The phone rings) Hello? David!?
Your spell check won't work!? Okay! All right!! I'll go!!
Ysa and half of company: How do you leave the site behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart!!
It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out till you're torn apart!!
Katie and other half of company: How do you connect in an age where, authors, readers, betas, and reviewers betray!!
All: What binds the fabric together when the raging shifting winds of change keep ripping away!?
Danny: Draw a line in the sand and then take a stand!!
Katie: Use your keyboard to spar!!
Ysa: Words can go far!!
All: When they act tough you call their bluff!!
Katie and Ysa: We're not gonna pay!
Katie/Ysa/Company: Were not gonna pay!
We're not gonna pay!!
All: Last month's bill
This month's bill!
Next month's bill!!
Bills, bills, bills, bills, bills!!
We won't pay the bills!!
Katie &Ysa: No More fucking bills!!
Authoress note- Okay, I hope you like this, I'm doing a whole parody fic of the musical. It's not going to be one chapter per song… probably a few songs in each chapter… Next chapter will be… You okay honey… to voice mail #2 I think. Please review… I think my song does beg for reviews at some point in it…
Oh, and special thanks to Ysa and Anni!! They're actual people who write fanfiction!! Ysa is PhantomViola and Anni is LeLunaTango!! Go take a look at their fics!! And I'm Katie!
If you want me to mention your fic in this fic, I probably can!! But you have to drop a review and tell me which fic to mention! I'll probably read it and review too!!
If you were confused at all-
Katie (Roger)- Katie is fourteen years old and she writes tons of fanfiction. She's addicted.
Ysa (Mark)- Ysa writes fanfiction, but not as much as Katie. She Reads a lot too.
Anni (Collins)- Katie and Ysa's friend who has just come home for the summer from boarding school. She's a fanfic addict too. She gets beat up for being a dyke.
Danny- Benny- Is trying to make fanfiction a site where you have to pay for a subscription to use it.
David (Maureen)- Left Ysa for Rodney. David is writing a petition/fanfic/protest trying to stop fanfiction from changing.
Rodney(Joanne)- David's new boyfriend, who's a bit geeky, and is the new beta for Davids fanfictions, replacing Ysa. His spellcheck broke, so Ysa has to come down and help fix it.
Read and review!!