So… I just want to set the record straight. I am a great many things; ADD, fat, gay, a gamer, a college kid, and most importantly a person who lives in the real world. So why the fuck am I seeing blue screens of text everywhere? Seriously! I woke up this morning, just an unassuming Monday, about to get up so that I could get ready to go to class. When I open my eyes to see several screens of text floating above my head.
(By sleeping in your bed your HP and MP have healed by 100%!)
(Welcome to the Game, would you like a tutorial?)
(Yes/No)
… Nope, not happening, I am not dealing with this shit right now. But, then again I do read enough fanfiction to know that this isn't exactly a bad thing, and it doesn't look like no is an option seeing as faded out text normally means that the option isn't available… Ah, why the hell not. I reach out and press the yes button, and am assaulted by more text boxes. Fuck.
(Welcome player! As you know occasionally gods get bored, and as it so happens the ones that you worship were going out of their minds with boredom. So Pan, Hecate, and Apollo have decided to act as most R.O.B.s do, and have given you the power to explore the multiverse as a videogame character for their amusement. Hurray for you. Now if you will call or think the word Status we can proceed.)
"Well, ain't you a snarky one." I say as I finish reading the text. "Hmph, fiiinne, Status!"
Name: Zayne Bass
Sex: Male
Job: The Gamer
Title: The Nerdy Bear
Race: Human
Level: 1
Exp. (0/100)
HP: 500
MP:800 MR: 30/min
STR:4
DEX:4 (*.25)=1
VIT:8 (*.25)=2
WIS:3
INT:8
CHA:3
LUC:2
Stat Points:5
Perk Points:1
Status Effects: Overweight (Caused by a poor diet this brings you DEX and VIT down by 75%. To get rid of this effect raise your DEX, VIT, and STR to 10.)
(This is the "Status Menu" from here you can change your title, alter you stats with stat points and monitor your progress as The Gamer. Say activate HUD to place a health and mana bar on the top left corner of your vision, along with a compass in the top/center portion of your vision.)
'I… I have…mana, like, magic?' Is the first thought as I followed the commend with little thought, after all a HUD would be useful, but still. I have fucking magic! Now you have to understand I worship the greek gods, mainly Pan, Hecate, and Apollo. I also have many friends who can use magic though not with any semblance of control, so the ability to use magic like a video game character is the greatest gift ever. I'm definitely awake now. I have just been given the power to be a video game character, fuck yeah! Wait the tutorial is still going.
(Now, your stats are pretty basic but you humans aren't the brightest stars in the cosmos so here's a rundown.
HP: The amount of health you have. 300 +(100*VIT)
MP: The amount of mana you have. (100*INT)
MR: How fast your mana recharges. 20 +(10*WIS)
STR: Your physical strength, that stat affects how much you are able to carry and the damage you deal using melee attacks.
DEX: Your overall flexibility and speed. This stat affects how well you move and how fast you are able to react.
VIT: Your overall health. This stat affects your overall amount of health and stamina. Note that stamina is not numerically written as a two second sprint is ridiculous.
WIS: Your ability to understand information on a deeper level. This stat affects how well you can use your INT as well as the speed at which your Mana regenerates (MR).
INT: Your total factual knowledge. This skill affects both how much you know, and the amount of mana available to you, 100 points of mana per point in INT.
CHA: Your ability to interact with others. This stat affects how well you convey your words and actions to others.
LUC: Your relationship with Lady Luck. This stat affects the quality and quantity of loot gained from enemies and chests.
Well then, I guess I should put some points into VIT, and DEX those are the two stats at their worst.
(Due to your using logic to plan out stat points you have gained 1 WIS)
Alrighty… whelp that's convenient. I quickly put my base VIT up to 10, and raise my base DEX to 7. I then call up my stats.
Name: Zayne Bass Sex: Male Job: The Gamer Title: The Nerdy Bear Race: Human
Level: 1
HP: 550
MP:800 MR: 60/min
STR:4
DEX:7 (*.25)=1.875
VIT:10 (*.25)=2.5
WIS:4
INT:8
CHA:3
LUC:2
Stat Points:5
Perk Points:1
Status Effects: Overweight (Caused by a poor diet this brings you DEX and VIT down by 75%. To get rid of this effect raise your DEX, VIT, and STR to 10.)
'Perfect, now with a little work… WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?'
I had looked down to see that my moobs had gone, thank the gods for that, and that I was much slimmer then I ever remember being. Now that I'm thinking about it I haven't actually checked my appearance yet. The gods changed how I exist in reality, who knows what else they changed, physically at least.
(For realizing that your body may have been altered without any prompts, take 1 point for WIS!)
Oh that is gonna get old real quick. I just know it will, oh well, no need to worry 'bout it now. I walk over to the full body mirror hanging from my closet door and my jaw drops at what I see. Gone is the dopey looking fat ass, with man-boobs big enough for A-cup bras. Now looking back at me is a man who, while still quite chubby, didn't look like a big pile of blubber. My love handles had shrunken down at least 3 inches, the same with my stomach, as well as my thighs, and without my moobs I actually don't look bad, I still got a bit of a belly and… Motherfucker, why am I just now noticing that I'm naked?! I'm freaking out because two of the main gods that not only gave me this power but I also worship both saw me naked. Pan and Apollo are notorious horn-dogs, as well as Greek gods. And seeing as they aren't to picky on what they fuck, I'm kind of surprised they didn't violate me. Pleasantly surprised, but surprised none the less.
I realize as I am finishing looking over myself and making sure everything is alright that something did change. To be specific, my cock. It's a lot longer now a good nine and a half inches long or so, and about two inches thick. Ah fuck… well it's a good thing I'm gay cause I don't think Pan and Hermes, gods who are known to make men more fertile would have held back. Little baby Gamers would be a bad thing for sure. Actually… hmm, I do love making CHA based characters in D&D, why the fuck not do so now. VIT, CHA, and STR should be my main ones that I grind the shit out of. With INT and DEX being the secondary allocations, WIS kind of takes care of itself. So if I put one point in LUC each level up loot drops should be fine, and I'll go gambling to grind it later on. I'll save the rest until I need them.
(For taking the time to plan out you points take 2 to WIS!)
Oh fuck off.
(If you're done freaking out about your new reality the tutorial will continue. As per the "Status Menu" you have perk points. Perks are special abilities that are so powerful that they have been made impossible to obtain without using perk points. Perk pints can be gained via three way; can be dropped by dungeon bosses in the form of a drachma, 1 perk point is given to you every 5 levels, and can be earned as a quest reward. Simply say "Perks" to bring up the perks currently available to you.)
Fuck. Yes. Perks are some of the best things you can get early on in a game, as they allowed one to begin specializing their character. Okay so since I'm going to be a STR and CHA based character, I'd probably end up as a tank player. So if I try to class, using traditional RPG classes, myself I'd probably be either a druid or a paladin. But I ain't lawful so fuck the noise that is paladin. Hmm…I wonder if I can get a familiar or something. Never mind, I'll deal with that when I cross that bridge. 'sigh' Better hurry up and finish the tutorial. "Perks!"
Perks : 1 Available
⦁ Wise Choices(1/-) - Gain 2 extra stat point per level up. ( )
⦁ Iron Fist(1/5) – Channel your energy to unleash devastating fury! Punching attacks do 20% more damage to your opponent. ( )
⦁ Big Leagues(1/4) – Hey batta batta! Do 20% more melee weapon damage. ( )
⦁ Armorer(1/4) – Armor you craft protects you from 25% more damage. ( )
⦁ Blacksmith(1/3) – Melee Weapons you craft deal 33% more damage. ( )
⦁ Heavy Gunner(1/5) – Thanks to practice and conditioning, heavy guns do 20%
⦁ Steady Aim(1/2) – Stay on target! Pistol accuracy is improved 25%. ( )
⦁ Basher(1/4) – Get up close and personal! Gun bashing does 25% more damage. ( )
⦁ Ent(1/3) – You're part tree! While standing still, you gain +25 Damage Resistance and your melee and unarmed attacks deal 25% more damage. ( )
⦁ Juggernaut(1/3) – While wearing Heavy Armor, sprinting into enemies hurts and staggers them. (Robots and oversized enemies are immune to stagger.( )
⦁ Mister Sandman(1/3) – As an agent of death itself, you can instantly kill a sleeping person. Your silenced weapons do an additional 15% sneak damage.( )
⦁ Sneak(1/5) – With this you can sneak 20% better.( )
⦁ Animagus(1/-) – You gain access to an animal form that represents your personality. Note that more forms can be unlocked via perkpoints.( )
…Well then Imma just gonna use that Perk Point on Wise Choices, I should be able to get rid of that overweight status in no time…. Alright then what you got next Game?
(The last three things of import are the 'quest', 'skill', and 'party' systems. Quests are tasks the game acknowledges as worthy of Exp. as you progress in level these quest shall become more difficult. Skills are abilities you can learn and create by repeatedly performing a task or skill. Skills you create and are already proficient in will be leveled accordingly. The Party system is vital if you have little to no skill at keeping secrets. With this you can create two types of parties. The first type is a temporary party that allows others to see the world as you do and see the game until you dismiss the party. It is important to note that they do not gain the benefits of Exp., when helping to complete a quest but your Exp. gain is divided by the number of people in your party. The other type of party is a permanent one. It is advised that you use this party system with care as it turns another person into a Gamer as well, and as such the only way to 'dismiss' this party is to kill all other members within it. To add a person to this type of party you must be of equal or higher level with the targeted person. Another important fact that is needed to be known about this type of party is that you can only ever have four people within this party.)
Fuck…