AN/ I've decided to write this Bangel fic because I always wanted to know what exactly happened when Buffy left Sunnydale to meet Angel after she'd been resurrected. Hope I'll manage to do justice to Buffy, Angel, myself, and of course, you, the best readers. Enjoy and review, please!
REUNION
Buffy didn't think twice when Angel called her, she just quickly told her friends she needed to meet him, and ran out of the house.
Being back home after spending time in Heaven was like being stuck in Hell for Buffy and she knew Angel could help her deal with the pain. He knew and understood her better than anyone, and even after all that time apart from him, she loved him so much.
For the first time after her resurrection she was excited about something. She jumped on the bus and headed towards a little town that was situated between Los Angeles and Sunnydale.
She stared through the window and kept hitting her feet against the floor. She felt like a teenage girl that was running away to meet her older boyfriend.
It took her about two hours to get there, and when she saw Angel standing on a bus station and waiting for her, her heart beat faster.
She ran out of the bus and straight towards him. "Angel!"
"Buffy! You're alive, you're… Beautiful as always."-Angel said and kissed her lips gently. They hugged tightly, just standing there, unaware of people that kept passing by and glancing at them.
"Good thing you didn't see me right after I crawled out of my grave. I was a mess."-Buffy tried to smile, but it turned out to be a frown because it hurt her so bad whenever she thought about it.
She couldn't help feeling a grudge against her friends even though she knew they only wanted to help her.
Angel could see she was trying to be strong, and he wondered what she'd been through. He'd been to a hell dimension himself and he didn't want to imagine Buffy's suffering in there. He didn't say anything at that moment, he just caught her hand and they walked towards the beach.
It was the full moon and a really nice and warm night, Buffy felt better while just walking hand in hand with Angel. Suddenly she was really glad he was a vampire, not a werewolf.
"Anyway, how have you been? I don't wanna just talk about myself; I wanna know what you've been going through…"-Buffy said when they sat down on the sandy beach.
"Been working, trying my best to fight and do the right thing… Been trying to be strong, whenever I feel like I can't do this anymore, I remember what you said to me that night I almost killed myself. 'Strong is fighting, it's hard and it's painful and it's everyday'. It got a whole new meaning when I found out you'd died, Buffy."
They hugged tightly and then just looked into each other's eyes for a few long moments. Both of them just wanted to kiss and make love, to forget about everything for a while, and it was driving them both crazy it wasn't an option. Angel couldn't help remembering their time together while he was human, and he was so grateful Buffy had no idea about it… He knew he would never forget the way she felt and tasted, and laughed… He thought about it every single day, at least for a moment…
Now she was there with him, alive again, and so beautiful he couldn't keep his eyes off of her.
Something about her was different, though.
She looked sad, like someone extinguished that little spark inside her that made her so special.
"Buffy… I wish you'd asked me to come help you fight that hell god. Glory, right? I would have come, you know that…"-Angel whispered and Buffy nested in his strong arms and whispered:
"I know, Angel, but it was my fight. It was my sister she wanted to kill to open the door to her hell dimension. I didn't really think about it much, I knew what I had to do. The portal opened and I jumped. Everything was so clear at that moment, I knew I was done… but, look at me, I'm back, alive and kicking."-Buffy said, and Angel noticed bitterness in her voice.
He looked into her eyes, that looked so dark at that moment, and her face looked like she glued a mask on it.
"You can't imagine how happy I am you're alive, and that I can see you again, even though I can't have you and love you the way you deserve, Buffy. But, you don't look happy… Why aren't you happy to be back?"
Buffy stood up and started walking towards the ocean. She took off her shoes, pulled her pants up and walked in the water. It was cold, but she was used to being cold. Sometimes she thought she'd never feel warm and safe again, and it was killing her inside.
"Buffy?"-Angel asked and followed her.
"Angel… It's so hard to talk about it. It's hard to THINK about it, and it seems to be the only thing I can think about. I just... ever since I got back, I've been feeling so empty, so… dead. I don't wanna feel like this, I hate feeling like this!"-Buffy yelled the last part of her sentence and turned to look into his eyes.
She was crying when she looked at him, and Angel's heart broke. She looked like she was in so much pain and he just wanted to take it away from her.
He pulled her into a hug and just let her cry on his chest. She held onto him tightly, as her small body shook with silent sobs.
"I'm here; you're not alone anymore… Talk to me if you can't talk to your friends about whatever it is that you've been through."
"You're here now, but soon I'll have to go back to Sunnydale, you'll have to do your own thing and I'll have to fight this on my own, and I don't know how I'll do it!"-Buffy said, trying to control her voice that sounded so shaky.
Angel wiped away her tears and kissed her gently, but passionately at the same time. She returned the kiss, just as passionately, holding onto him tightly.
She never wanted to let go, and never wanted to go home and face her life again. She wished she could just move away with Angel, find a spell to bind his slippery soul and forget about everything except their love.
It wasn't possible and tears ran down her face again. She broke the kiss and said: "I need you and want you so badly it hurts. I remember it clearly when you said 'I want to take comfort in you and I know it'll cost me my soul and part of me doesn't care'. Well, I feel like I have no soul now, I can't feel anything… maybe you losing your soul would be worth it now. I'm sure Willow could do a spell to fix you again. I mean, if she could pull me out of Heav…"-she quickly shut up and Angel stared at her in shock.
"You were… you were in Heaven?"
"I… I think so. I was happy… I was warm and I felt loved… and I was finally resting, with my mom… My mom was there… "-Buffy's voice broke, but she forced herself to continue: "I was supposed to be done, it was all supposed to be over, Angel, and now I'm here, everything is violent and scary, and my friends have no idea what they did to me! And I can't tell them, how could I, they think they saved me and…"
"God, Buffy…"-Angel whispered and tried to hold her tightly, but she fell on her knees, crying. At least with him she didn't have to pretend she was strong, not anymore.
He kneeled, to be close to her and it killed him to see those beautiful green eyes so full of despair. Buffy deserved to be happy, she deserved it more than anyone he ever met, and it seemed that they shared that curse about being unable to feel perfect happiness.
Just when he got so happy and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he lost his soul… and when she felt so happy and peaceful, she got torn out of Heaven.
He caught her hands and squeezed gently. "I can't even imagine what you're going through… but I know you, Buffy, you're the strongest person I know. You beat everything that was ever thrown your way and I believe in you. It's gonna take some time and it won't be easy, but you'll win this depression, you always win eventually…"
"I wish I could believe you."
"Come with me."-Angel whispered, gently pulled her to her feet and put his arm around her waist. She never looked smaller to him, and more fragile, and he just hoped he could heal at least a tiny part of her.
They walked in silence, which was, strangely, comfortable, not deafening.
"Where are we going?"-Buffy asked after about ten minutes.
"Close your eyes…"-Angel whispered and Buffy's heart skipped a beat, the memory of saying that sentence to Angel still hurt her.
"You're not gonna stab me with a sword, right?"-Buffy tried to joke, but regretted saying it the next moment. "Sorry, Angel, my brain and mouth aren't always connected."
He just smiled and led her into a room he'd booked for them.
"Ok, you can open your eyes now…"
"Oh... wow."-Buffy whispered, in awe.
There were a bunch of white roses on the table, a bottle of champagne and a lot of Buffy's favorite food. "Thought having you back deserved celebration. Now I know you don't wanna party, but… I am glad you're back."
"Thank you."-Buffy said and kissed his lips slowly. "I'm not hungry, though. I just wanna be in your arms for a bit."
"I'm yours."
They lay down and she placed her head on his chest and pulled a blanket over them. He put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.
"Promise?"-she asked suddenly.
"What?"-Angel asked, a bit confused.
"You're mine?"
"Always."-he whispered and smiled when he remembered she'd given him the same response when he'd asked her 'You still my girl?'
"You're gonna have to leave before the dawn…"-Buffy said, wishing she could somehow stop the time.
"Yes, but you know I'm just a phone call away…"
"Yeah… It doesn't make it easier. I'm trying to be ok, peachy with the side of keen, but…"
"You'll get through this… I promise, Buffy."-Angel said and kissed her again.
For a moment they forgot about everything, about the world and the curse that was stopping their happiness and they just kissed passionately, feeling each other's bodies and drowning in each other's scents and taste.
Buffy started unbuttoning his pants and suddenly she realized what she was doing, and she abruptly stopped.
"Oh, god, I'm sorry… I just… we can't. I gotta go."
"Buffy, wait…"-Angel pulled her hand, but she quickly put her jacket on and said: "Thanks, for everything… I'm sorry. I can't put everyone else in trouble just cause I want you so much now. I don't know what I was thinking…"
Angel's whole body trembled when she kissed him once again and ran out of there like a hurricane.
"Buffy…"-he whispered and walked out, into the night, trying to fight the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks.
Buffy ran until her lungs threatened to explode, fighting the tears and all the frustration.
Then she crumbled down to the sidewalk and just sat there, staring into nothing and crying silently until she heard the bus arrive.
It was time to go home…
Buffy fell asleep when she got comfy in the bus, and she opened her just when she saw the sign that said 'Welcome to Sunnydale, enjoy your stay'.
"Welcome to the Hellmouth…"-Buffy whispered and slowly got off of the bus, trying to gather up all of her strength to keep fighting… because, she wanted it or not, she was the Slayer.