Scenes from a Commitment Ceremony/Beach Party/Whatever:

A Degrassi Takes Manhattan Missing Scene Drabble Collection

by TheBucketWoman

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or anything else I may reference herein. No profit is being made and no infringement is intended.

Chapter One.

Snake/Spike

Archie Simpson, Snake to his friends, stared at the spot where his daughter'd just been. With her husband. He believed that, for the very first time, he'd just pulled ahead of Joey in the 'You Won't Believe This Shit' contest they'd had going since Craig had turned sixteen. This was what he was thinking when he turned to his wife and saw the magma rising behind her eyes.

"Sh-h-h-hugar honey iced tea!" she whisper-screamed. Jack was on the couch watching Spongebob and had a tendency to pick up new vocabulary too fast for her to say what was really on her mind.

"Spike," he said. She was violently putting groceries away.

"Don't Spike me, Archie," she said. "This is…this…Gawwwwww."

"He's a good kid, you know."

"I know," she said. "He's the sweetest kid in the world. This isn't about him."

"And it's ridiculously sudden, I know, but…"

"Didn't I tell her, like, five whole seconds ago that she didn't need a man to be validated? So, what does she do? She gets married. In a fuh—a flipping casino! That's classy. And now we're supposed to pretend that we're okay with that so she could go do it again on the beach."

"We got married in street clothes," he reminded her. "And you were not only pregnant, but about to dump me."

"You didn't want more kids," she reminded him. But she was thawing.

"Until you told me you were pregnant," he said. "Nobody's perfect, is my point."

"I just want her to be happy," she said. "What if this is the biggest mistake of her life? This is so not the time for her to get married. I mean, maybe she should at least wait until she could commit to a school for more than two semesters, ya know?"

"I know," he said. "I agree. But she's an adult…" A voice in his head said she is not! "And so is he, and we have no say in what they do."

"I know that," she said. "Why do you think I kept my mouth shut until they left? Cheese and rice!"

"Cheese and rice!" Jack said, from the living room.

"I really do love it when you talk dirty," Snake said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she said. "We got work to do. Gotta rent you a suit for one thing."

"What's wrong with—"

"No Hawaiian shirts," she said, reading his mind.

Jay/Manny.

Jay and Manny got back to their room, though Jay did not know how they managed it. Manny shut their door and leaned her back against it, staring at him, wide-eyed. He stared back at her for all of a second before he had a totally inappropriate reaction to the whole situation.

He burst into hysterical, screamy, Hawkeye Pierce-style laughter.

"What the—" Manny said. He looked up at her blurrily. She watched him, her eyes getting even bigger if that were possible.

"AHAAAAAhahaHAHAHAAA!"

"Fuck is wrong with you!" she said.

"HAAA!"

Manny managed to keep the whole stone face thing going as long as she could, but she couldn't help but laugh a little when other people did. And her laugh…it was kind of a distraction.

"Focus, Jay," she said, looking down at him. He reached behind him for a pillow to put into his lap.

"I'm focused," he squeaked.

"On Spinner!" she reminded him. "And Emma!"

"I'm kinda impressed with the boy," Jay said. "Getting wasted and hitched. That was a fuck-up almost worthy of me."

Manny groaned.

Jay pretended to think for a second and said, "Are you thirsty?"

"A little," she said, puzzled at the change in topic.

"We should go get some drinks," he said. "A little champagne—you figure three or four bottles would be enough?"

"What?" she asked. It took a second for her to get the hint.

"Shut up!" She took the pillow off his lap and hit him with it. He got hold of the pillow and used it to pull her down onto the bed with him.

"You'll just never make an honest man of me," Jay said.

"Make an honest man of you?" Manny asked. "Do I look like I have magical powers or something?"

"I dunno," he squinted. "Maybe if you came a little closer…"

"Mhmm?"

"And took off that thing you got on."

She rolled her eyes again, and then started talking to him really slowly, as if he could barely speak English.

"Boo," she said. "Your friend. My friend. Our friends. They're making a mess. What do we do to help them?"

"I said I'd call Uncle Larry if they wanted," he said. "In the meantime, do you think you can come over here and…"

She kissed him before he could make any magic wand jokes.