Sora, Kairi, and Riku crowded around the letter Sora had just pulled out from the bottle Kairi discovered. They all began to read it at their own pace.

Dear Sora,

You and your friends are very dumb. First of all, Sora, your feet are way too big. And Riku needs a haircut badly. Kairi, on the otherhand, well, she's just plain stupid. I don't like you guys and I will never speak to you again after this letter. Leave me and all the other worlds alone forever and ever. Stay on your smelly island for all eternity.

Will hate you always,

King Mickey

"Well, that was nice of him," Sora commented, rolling the letter back up and tossing it into the sea.

"I do not need a haircut!" Riku shouted. "Maybe I like my hair this way!"

"Why is everyone calling me stupid?" Kairi wondered.

"Because you are," Sora replied.

"But I thought you loved me, Sora."

"Some things can be deceiving. I take back the time I called you ugly, but no one can deny that you are stupid."

"It's not my fault! I was stuck on this island for how long waiting for you? And now, you finally show up and immediately start insulting me?"

"It was King Mickey who said it!"

"All right, you two," Riku calmed. "We need to decide what we're going to do now."

"Stay here and chill out," Sora clarified. "Mickey told us he didn't want our help anymore."

"He never seemed to hate us until now," Riku pointed out. "Don't you find that at all suspicious?"

"Umm . . . no, not really."

"Sora, you're a retard. Someone must've forced him to write that letter. Maybe he's really in trouble and we have to help."

"Whatever, Riku," Sora sighed. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here."

"I'll make you come, Sora, even if I have to drag you along. You're the one with the keyblade, remember?"

"Well, maybe I don't want it," Sora said, handing his weapon to Riku. "Here, you take it and go save the world if you want."

"I thought we were friends, Sora. Don't you care about helping your friends?" Riku refused to take the keyblade from Sora. "And . . . that means Kairi and I will be alone and . . ."

"Okay, I'll go! But can we at least wait another day and see if any more mysterious letters turn up?"

"Fine."

Sora invited Kairi to the secret cave later that day.

"Kairi, do you really think Mickey's in danger?" he asked.

"What do I know?" she replied. "I'm stupid, remember?"

Kairi expected him to apologize, but Sora only said, "Oh, that's right."

Kairi shook her head and was about to cry. "Sora, do you love me or not?" she asked.

"Umm . . ."

Just as Sora was about to answer, Goofy and Donald came flying out of the strange door in the cavern, screaming all the way. A giant heartless was following closely behind them. Sora drew his keyblade as Goofy and Donald continued to run. Kairi backed against the wall to make room for the dragon-like heartless.

"Hey, aren't you from Mulan's world?" Sora demanded.

"Uh . . . no," the heartless strangely uttered before begging for mercy. "Please don't kill me, Mr. Keyblade Wielder, Sir!"

"Turn around and go home!" Sora commanded.

"Sora!" Kairi scolded. "You're going to let it get away?"

"Why not? It's ruining my time off! Of course I'm going to send it away! Besides, I don't feel like fighting."

"You really are a lazy bum, Sora."

"Thank you."

The heartless stood motionless, looking from Kairi to Sora over and over again.

"If you won't fight," Kairi finally spoke out, "then I will! Give me that keyblade!"

Kairi snatched the keyblade from Sora without another word and began to slash at the heartless. The dragon-like beast backed toward the door as Kairi's eyes were blazing with fury at Sora's idleness.

"Please let me go home," the heartless pleaded. "I promise not to cause any more trouble." It then put on the best puppy face it could manage and stared Kairi in the eyes.

"Aww . . . Kairi, look at how cute he is," Sora was saying.

"Shut up, Sora! You called me stupid, but you're stupid if you're going to just let this thing leave!"

Kairi was on the verge of breathing fire, so Sora shut up and made for the exit, meeting Goofy and Donald just outside.

"What's going on in there?" Donald had the nerve to ask.

"Kairi's gone insane," Sora clarified. "She's going to take over the world if we don't stop her!"

"Kairi wouldn't do that . . ." Goofy said.

"Go see for yourself!" Sora demanded, pointing frantically at the cavern entrance.

Apparently, Goofy didn't want to see for himself. He was about to say so when Riku showed up.

"Is everything all right?" he asked.

"Sora says Kairi's going crazy." Donald informed.

"Why? What happened?"

"Well, Riku," Sora began. "Kairi and I were in the secret place and I was, you know, pretending to be paying attention to her and everything. And then, Goofy and Donald just came out of nowhere with this giant heartless following behind them. I told the heartless to go home, and it was about to listen until Kairi took my keyblade and went all kung-fu on it."

"Kairi's not supposed to have the keyblade!"

"That's what I tried to tell her, but . . ."

"Why was a heartless chasing Goofy and Donald?"

"Because Your Majesty has gone crazy too," Goofy answered. "He's calling together all the heartless and nobodies, and he's sending hate mail to all his friends."

"That would explain that letter . . ." Riku pondered. "Do you know what he plans to do with the heartless?"

"He's keeping them as pets. And he's giving keyblades to the nobodies."

"Where's he getting all the keyblades?"

"Magic."

"Okay . . ."

"Hey, Riku!" Sora distracted. "Kairi's coming out now!"

Kairi walked out to join them, dragging the keyblade behind her and resembling a zombie. She had a stripe of blood across her face and a deep wound in her stomach.

"Kairi!" Riku exclaimed. "What did you do? Those aren't heartless wounds, are they?"

"We have . . . a problem . . ." she managed before collapsing.

Sora ran forward to ease her fall. "She's out cold," he announced. "What do we do?"

Riku went into his hero stance. "We go see who did this to her."