Disclaimer: They're not my characters, I'm just borrowing for some fun. I promise to put them back when I'm finished!
Four years later so much had changed. Leaving Chicago and County behind for a new life with her family hadn't panned out as Abby had foreseen. In the end the split was mutually desired and amicable, the only real emotional fallout being for Joe. Abby reasoned that the arrangements she and Luka had put in place would be better for their son than living with parents constantly fighting or unhappy, and so Joe's time was split between Abby and her former husband. It wasn't what anyone planned but isn't that just life?
Seeing him again after so long made an almost physical impact, the knot in the pit of her belly surprised her.
Attending conferences was something Abby tried to avoid, but she had been persuaded to get involved in a research project and subsequently to present her findings at a seminar. Somehow it never occurred to her that he might be there, not until she saw a familiar curly head across the room. Turning away from another suited man with whom he had been conversing intently, Lucien Dubenko looked straight at her, stood rooted to the spot for a moment before making his way over with a half smile on his face.
Feeling unsure of how best to greet her former colleague, handshake, hug or neither, Abby opted to follow his lead. Unfortunately Lucien proved as irresolute as herself, and they stood a little awkwardly making conversation about the conference and their work there. In the end it was Lucien who brought the tête-à-tête to a close, although he suggested meeting later for dinner. Abby resisted the urge to ask whether this would consist of a burger and fries and accepted, wondering if it could possibly be worth it; they clearly had so little to say to one another.
Later, in the calm of a nearby restaurant Lucien appeared to have regained his equilibrium and was more like his usual self. He asked her about her presentation, showed an interest in her work and carefully avoided discussing anything too personal. Abby realised anything further would have to come from herself.
She began by asking him about life back at County and laughed at his anecdotes of Frank's rudeness and ER/OR turf wars. It was a relief to know that some things were constants in a quickly evolving world. Next Lucien talked about Neela with evident pride at the achievements of his former protégé in her new job, and Abby found herself warming to the surgeon as they shared their happiness at the their friend's stable life with Ray.
When Lucien finally asked after Luka Abby looked carefully for any hint of the old rivalry and was surprised to find only genuine sympathy and shock when she told of their split. Lucien talked abstractly of the difficulties of maintaining relationships in the face of chaotic work schedules and of the hurt and resignation that such failures bring. Abby wondered not for the first time if Lucien was projecting his own emotional baggage onto her but was sill warmed by his empathy.
Later, in the quiet of her hotel room it struck her that she'd had it all wrong the whole time. She'd applied many adjectives to Lucien over the years: arrogant, creepy, socially inept, all negatives. What she'd never been conscious of was the one she now realised was the most accurate and appealing: sincere. He'd never been less than sincere despite all his gaucheness and foolishness. Indeed it was his sincerity which caused him to act that way; he couldn't help been too obvious in his desires, loyal in his affections and in his capacity as a teacher and mentor. It was what impelled him to be the best he could as a doctor and to follow his ethical code. It was what made him admirable, endearing and also vulnerable. Abby finally felt that she "got" Dubenko, and wondered whether it would have really made a difference if she had seen this back then. Could she have accepted him at face value and trusted his sincere affection? Maybe if she had she wouldn't be sat in an empty hotel room feeling caught between two worlds neither of which felt like home.