iSit here
(Freddie's POV)
I sit here overlooking Seattle. It was only a few days after New Years. All the kids in town were getting ready for bed so they could wake up for school tomorrow. Today was the last day of winter break. I took our kids, Scott and Tammy, to your favorite place. The groovy smoothie. It was Tammy's first time drinking a smoothie all by herself. I can't believe she's 2 years old already! Seems like only yesterday I held her in my arms for the first time. While at the groovy smoothie I brought up a subject to the kids I hadn't brought up in a while. You.
I told them about all the times I bought you smoothies in here when we were kids. T-Bo still works there. I told them how I asked your sister Melanie out here (thinking she was you of course), and how Carly and I danced here as well. Boy did we have fun! Then we walked over in the snow to Bushwall Plaza to visit my mom. I stood in the hallway between my apartment and Carly's. Even though Carly lives in LA now and Spencer now lives there with his wife and kids, I stood there while the kids ran inside and took off their coats. I remember you telling me Missy was trying to replace you as Carly's best friend and I didn't believe you. I use to be so gullible as a kid. Then I looked at the peephole. Remembering the last time I looked out of it you hit the door. I laugh silently to myself going inside my mom's apartment and hanging my jacket and scarf on her coatrack next to the kids. She's making the kids dinner, while I already had dinner. I peek down the all to fimiliar hallway leading to "the spot".
Haven't been here in years. I climbed in and sat down in my chair I still had out here. In my 24 years of living on earth I had all my best memories here. And they were all with you. The first one was our first kiss ironicly enough. The words you said before the kiss still linger in my ear. "Well...lean!" I chuckle softly and turn on the PearHome, sticking my PearPod inside it and searching for our song. I finally found it. "Running away", the title in a way was ironic. I didn't realize it then, neither did you. For years we kept running away from our feelings for each other. Going around in circles until we got tired of running.
I asked you to be my girlfriend here, I asked you to marry me here and we even made love for the first time here. I smirk to myself remembering our wedding night. Boy, that was a spicy night! I remember you dragging me out here at 4 AM after you threw up again, holding up a positive pregnancy test. That was the last time we ever came out here after Tammy was born you got hit by a drunk driver. Never more in my life did I want to strangle somebody. That idiot took you, my wife, my angel. I sounded selfish for a while. Then I realized something. God needed you up there. You needed to be Gods angel. Your life on earth had surved its purpose. I feel a tear running down my cheek. Smiling weakly I wipe it away. I felt the urge to talk to you again, something I haven't done in a while.
"I miss you, you know that? I know I'll never find anyone else like you. Sam Puckett is unreplacable. I've tried dating a few times but it never worked out. Well it did it's just, I didn't feel right. Everytime we sat out her you always apologized. Now it's my time to apologize. Sorry for the 18 months of combined morning sickness and swollen ankles just because of my urge to get down and dirty. I'm sorry for making you have my nubbish last name, Benson. I'm even more sorry that you can't see our kids grow up. I bet you anything Scott's going to be like me one day. He's sort've a dork. He has my hair and your eyes. Everytime I make eye contact with him I feel like I'm talking to you all over again. Like I said, he's a dork but that doesn't take away from his love for all sorts of meats. Tammy's another story however. She's got your hair and my eyes. I remember seeing her playing tag with Scott made me think of you and me as kids. You wanna know what Tammy's first word was? 'Mama'. I always laughed at that. She always calls herself Mama, just like you did. Even more after she spoke her first sentence to me, 'Mama plays to win'. I couldn't help but let a tear slip after she said that. I look up at the stars everynight, hoping I catch a shooting star. All I see are airplanes. I remember how much you hated when I sang that song. The last thing I'm going to tell you tonight is, no matter where you are up there, and where I am down here, I will always love you. Remember when you'd always say after you passed you'd blow a gush of wind past my face if I was still alive? Today's the first day in Seattle there hasn't been a single windy breeze.
"Love you Sam" I whispered as I got up and walked out of the fire escape I felt a large gush of wind sweep against my cheek. I held my cheek lovingly and smiled looking up.
"Daddy, why do you do that?" I spun around and saw Tammy stainding behind me
"Do what?"
"Hold your cheek and look up at the ceiling? You do it a lot." I picked Tammy up and held her in my arms. Taking her to "our spot"
"See this place? This is my favorite place ever. I was just talking to Mommy"
"Daddy, Mommy's not alive anymore. How could you talk to her?"
"I talk to the sky. Mommy's up there, in the clouds. I know she's listening, your mom was never much of a talker." I felt another gush of wind.
"Feel that wind? That's Mommy kissing us from heaven" I put Tammy down and started to walk back to my mom's apartment. I looked behind me and saw Tammy blow a kiss out to the fire escape.
"Love you too Mommy" I felt another tear roll down my cheek as Tammy's blonde curls ran past me, and into my moms apartment. I looked at the night sky and full moon and saw a shooting star pass by.
"I could really use a wish right now" I sang, going inside.