Disclaimer: Neither The Hulk™ or Moose™ belong to me. My respects to CC and DW and a word of thanks to the writer of a certain former Baltimore detective with interesting friends.

Thanks: Gosh, who to thank? Hell, I'll thank everyone. And especially my betas. Bet y'all didn't know you'd get mail every day, did ya.

A/N: There is something liberating about being a devotee of shows that, although created by different folks, share the same universe. It opens up endless crossover possibilities, some explored and some left to people like me. But, I always thought that if ever two cops would develop an interesting friendship, it would be Mulder and Goren. So, this is just an introduction to my own perfect little universe. That and Moose is screaming at me to give him some airtime and who am I to argue. Beware, this is all dialogue.

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods – Aristotle
"Mulder."

"Hey, it…it's Goren. You got a minute?"

"Oh, hey. For you, of course."

"You sure? Cause if you're busy, I can…call back."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Just me and this big, empty hotel."

"She kick you out again?"

"Very funny. No, we are on vacation and she's out, visiting friends. What's up?"

"Nothing. Well…it's been a rough case…er week"

"Rough week? And you called me? Don't you have a partner to harass?"

"Yeah, but, well I-I'm not sure she's… the one I should be…be calling about this."

"Really? And how can the omniscient Doctor Mulder help you?"

"Well, if you were really all-knowing, you wouldn't have to ask."

"Touché. But I can take a guess. Calls me instead of his partner, must be woman troubles."

"You learn those observation skills at Oxford, or did the Feds teach you that?"

"I'm gifted. What can I say? You do realize that I might not be the best person to help you out with this, right?"

"On the contrary. I think…I called the right person."

"She's got you wrapped around her finger, doesn't she?"

"Who?"

"The person you should be calling instead of me. How long have you two been partners now?"

"Couple of months."

"That's right. I still remember a rather confusing e-mail about a petite blonde with spunk."

"Oh God. Mulder, pl-please tell me you…deleted that."

"Not on your life. You never know when dirt on the great Detective Robert Goren will come in handy."

"Don't forget, Mulder, I have a fair amount of dirt on you too. Don't make me have Munch call you. I seem to recall a rather delightful story about a certain FBI agent drugged to the gills screaming something about aliens."

"Come on, Goren, that's an everyday thing for me."

"True. But it's not every day that you scream it naked."

"And how would you know? So, how long has she had your leash?"

"M-my what?"

"Your leash. I'm assuming that you follow her around like a little puppy. So, when did it start?"

"I don't know. I can't even remember it happening. One day we are just partners; then I noticed that she's a beautiful, intelligent and witty lady."

"And you realized that you would do anything to protect her, to keep her by your side?"

"You have no idea."

"Yeah, I do. You are done for. You might as well throw in the towel right now."

"I..I don't know, Mulder. I mean…"

"Don't make the mistake I did. Don't keep your feelings bottled up, Bobby."

"Mulder, I can't tell her. If Deakins found out, we'd be split up."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Remember that you called me for a reason. I am speaking from personal experience."

"I know..."

"So, why don't you call her and see what she's doing tonight?"

"You mean ask her out?"

"No. Well, yeah. Then call me back."

"Mulder, where are you?"

"Funny you should ask. New York."

"Oh, I see how it is. You two come to town and you don't even call me."

"Just call Eames and see what she's doing. Tell her you have someone you want her to meet. A tall drink of water who would be just perfect for her."

"Mulder…"

"I don't mean me. You are more paranoid than I am, I swear. Just get her to go out with you and we'll meet you wherever you want."

"Ah, what does Scully know?"

"Nothing yet, but she will. I just can't promise she'll be good. She did say she wanted to meet you while we were here. So, why not kill the entire flock with one stone. Besides, I want to meet the lady who brought the stoic, self-sufficient Robert Goren to the point where he's calling me for advice."

"Fine. I'll…I'll call her. But you had better not stand me up."

"Never."

Fin

A/N pt. 2: Cell phones might possibly be the worst invention in the history of man, but they do make for an interesting fic plot device. I have to admit, however, that, while I'm pretty sure my Mulder is IC, I can't make any promises about my Goren. He just doesn't spend enough time talking about personal stuff for me to pin down his private cadence, especially without using body language. So, I'm sorry if my Goren is OOC. But I do so enjoy writing dialogue pieces. ) Oh yeah, the title is Welsh for friends.