a/n: Okay, first of all I would like to point out that this is not entirely my idea. I was inspired to write this when I read the one-shot "Imperio Me" written by foogli.

I hope you like it, it's been SO LONG since I uploaded anything, i'm actually kind of nervous. Is that lame or what? Anyways, I really hope you enjoy my story!

Disclaimer: I do not own.

1. The Dangers of Talking

"Oi! Evans!"

I inwardly sighed. Anytime he said "Oi" and my name in the same sentence, it - actually, scratch that, whenever he says my name period, it means trouble. "I've got a bone to pick with you," James Potter called from his spot on the Gryffindor common room couch.

I glanced at my best friend Alice who was smiling cheekily. I rolled my eyes as she gave me a soft nudge in the side. Alice has this strange obsession with Potter and me. It's common knowledge that he's head over heels for yours truly, but not so common knowledge that I fancy him back. In fact, it's a secret that Alice will take to the grave if she knows what's good for her.

It didn't always used to be this way, me having to deny the onslaught of feelings that erupted every time he came near. I honestly used to hate him. But then fourth year came and he was considerably cuter than I remembered. Of course, once he opened his mouth I was reminded of why I despised him and was quick to squash any longing I had for him right then and there. Then fifth year arrived and the incident at the tree passed and I lost my best friend and Potter became much more mature than he previously was (and subsequently more attractive to me). Now here I am, halfway through sixth year, having to remind myself constantly why we would never work.

I'm very skilled at hiding it, if I do say so myself; like now, I simply ignore the butterflies that erupt in my stomach and flutter through-out my whole body. Once I got used to it, it was quite easy to look the other way…unless he surprised me, of course…which does happen more often than I'd like it to.

Just the other day, he somehow managed to send me a house-elf with a plate of cookies. Then the house-elf politely said, "Courtesy of your one and only, James Potter. He's a wonderful boy, don't you think, Missus?" I simply gawked at the poor thing. Then the little elf set down the cookies, muttered "Give him a chance," and promptly ran away! What James and Sirius must have had to do in order for the house elf to torture himself like that, I don't like to think about.

"What is it now, Potter?" I asked, rummaging through my bag to look for my unfinished Potions essay.

"I never would've guessed it, especially from you, Evans," Potter smirked.

I groaned and threw my Herbology book at his head, wishing for him to leave me alone so I could concentrate. He caught it easily and set it down on the small table, nudging Sirius in the side.

"Me neither, it's not Lily-like at all," Sirius chimed in amazedly, shaking his head. "But it's the only possible explanation."

"What are you two prats going on about now?" I sighed, trying to avoid looking at James until the last possible second. If only we weren't sworn enemies and I didn't have to be ashamed to find him attractive.

Sirius winked at me and I mimed gagging in response. He gasped loudly and put his hand over his heart.

"That hurt me, Evans. That hurt me deep."

I scoffed at him and went back to finding my essay. Sirius Black needed a serious reality check. Half the girls in this school swooned when he walked into the room; it was almost disgusting. It was that way with all of the Marauder clan...well little Peter Pettigrew never had that effect on women much. But Potter, Black, and Remus? Well, they could announce that they had thirteen seconds to live and half the females in the school would throw themselves at their feet, begging to be their last kiss. Lily Evans excluded, of course; I would never stoop so low. Alice would, undoubtedly.

Even though she was contemplating on dating Frank, I could tell she had some lingering affections for Sirius. (They had dated in fifth year - that was the year I struggled the most due to lack of sleep. It is absolutely impossible to get to sleep with Alice chattering away about how funny Sirius is, or how gorgeous Sirius is, or how he should win a first prize ribbon in the 'Best Snoggers' category.)

"I'll only tell you what you did if you come and sit down," Potter said, crossing his arms and staring resolutely into the crackling fire. Black took this as his cue to leave, and he stood, gesturing with his head for Alice to follow him out the portrait hole. She obeyed without a moment's hesitation, probably trying to discreetly give Potter and me some alone time.

Not appreciated, Alice.

I frowned. "I don't think so."

He huffed dramatically. "Fine, I'll just go straight to the Headmaster and report you, good luck with your expulsion."

I had frozen and paled at his words. What was I supposed to have done? "Potter," I said tersely, "Tell me what you're talking about."

He ran a hand through his unruly black hair and looked at me with raised eyebrows. "Only if you come and sit down."

I grumbled a few choice words under my breath and slung my bag in between us, throwing myself into the couch cushions with as much force as I could muster. "Talk," I growled, trying and failing to ignore the amount of space between us.

Potter took on a serious face. "I promise I won't report you to anyone if you just agree to one thing."

"Er..." I shook my head confusedly, memories of the past month racing through my mind. What had he seen? I hadn't even done anything that was severe enough for a report...unless...no. But...that was the only thing...

I took a deep breath. "You can't report me for nicking food from the kitchens, because you do it also!" I spat, standing up to leave.

James pulled me back down, a look of utter amusement on his features; his hazel eyes shining with mirth. "Thanks for that confession; that was enlightening, but not what I meant."

"Well..." my brows knitted together in concentration, they couldn't expel me from Hogwarts, they simply could NOT. "Re-report? What did I do? I-"

James blinked. "I thought you knew?"

I smacked him in the arm, irritated. "Obviously not," I said coldly. "Now either tell me what I did and what you want me to do this instant, or prepare to be hexed into oblivion." I had already raised my wand and was pointing it straight into his glasses; I was pleased to detect a flicker of fear in his eyes.

He hurriedly pushed my wand downwards gently and held up his hands. "Okay, okay. Merlin, Evans, relax."

"You just said that Hogwarts is going to expel me!" I said, beginning to panic. "Potter, if you're joking about this, I'll-I'll...I-just tell me what I did!" By the end of my speech, my voice had risen to a shriek.

James pressed his lips together before nodding. "Evans, I'm not comfortable with your antics."

"What—my antics?"

"I need you to stop putting love potion in my morning pumpkin juice," he said, solemnly.

My mouth fell open in surprise. When he does things like this, the butterflies all die and I'm reminded of why I used to hate him. "James Potter," I said slowly, allowing venom to seep into my tone. "You scared me half to death because you wanted to have a laugh and accuse me of the most
ridiculous-"

"It's not ridiculous!" he protested angrily, as several first years ran out of the room, fearing yet another shouting match.

I let out a strangled grunt. "Why would I put love potion in your juice? You better watch your back, toerag, I'll Avada Kedavra your-"

"Lily!" he interrupted, alarmed.

I stopped short; somewhat shocked that he had seemed to believe my threat and that he had used my first name.

"You've fed me love potion, Evans. There's no other explanation. Why else would I constantly be thinking about you? You're forcing yourself upon me!"

I laughed harshly. "I'm forcing myself upon you? I'm forcing myself upon you? Potter, you are insufferable!"

"You're the one who won't admit you have feelings for me," he said sourly.

My heart seemed to drop and I looked at him with panic poorly disguised in my eyes. Did he know? Did he know that I had dreams of snogging him and I suppressed the after-effects of these dreams all day long?

I remembered with clarity the time that Sirius had caught me staring and smiled knowingly; as if he was certain that no human could resist a Marauder. I experienced a startling realization that Remus always seemed to slip James into the conversation cleverly in such a way that I never even thought of getting angry with him. If Sirius and Remus…and even Alice had picked up on my hidden feelings for James Potter, I would have to assume two things. One, my hidden feelings were apparently badly hidden. And two, Potter knew about them also.

I felt a sudden explosion of fury at Sirius for most likely blowing my affection out of proportion. It was ridiculous that I was blaming him and him alone but I never got angry at Remus. Anger...I inwardly groaned, knowing I had failed to keep a grip on the anger I was supposed to be lashing Potter with.

I pulled myself back into the present and lamely said, "I don't have feelings for you," sensing we were the only two left in the common room; the others had probably left since they were sick and tired of our constant bickering. If I was honest with myself, I was as well. Thoughts of what a normal conversation would be like invaded my mind, and I found myself more curious than I ever should have been. Lily Evans is not allowed to be this interested in something that involves James Potter. It was one of the unwritten rules of Hogwarts.

My heart gave an irregular beat I realized with a start that James was exceedingly close to my face. We sat there, awkwardly for a moment; just looking at each other. I bit my lip nervously and tried to prepare myself to slap him, positive that he would try and close the gap between us, or make some kind of a move on me. He was James Potter, after all, and I was Lily Evans, and when we were alone, late at night in the common room, James coming on to me was inevitable.

I was wrong.

Instead he gave me a small smile and murmured, "I guess I'll be going up to bed, then."

I felt his warm breath on my lips and I couldn't move for a moment. That sensation was almost immediately followed by terror as I felt a sudden burst of embarrassment. He stood up then, pulling away from me without even making a slight attempt to brush his hands against me unnecessarily, or smirk at me. I found with a sinking feeling that I was disappointed by this sudden change in him and I gulped; somehow convincing myself to try and have a good conversation with him in a heated internal debate that went something like this: "Lily Evans, if you make one move to try and talk to him...oh… Just go for it."

"James," I said quietly, forcing my voice to ignore some small part of me that was still screaming warnings.

He stopped, looking back at me with a twinkle of excitement in his eye. I didn't blame him. If I was James Potter, and found that the "girl more delicious than Slughorn's crystallized pineapple" (as he so alluringly screamed out at me one day for all of Potions class to hear) had called me back to her as I was leaving AND had used my absolutely forbidden first name, I would probably be pleased as well.

"Yes?" he asked, raising his left eyebrow in enjoyment. I noted with reluctant interest that Quidditch had done wonders for his physique.

"Stop staring, Evans, you're making me blush," he remarked casually.

I quickly ripped my eyes away from his muscles, which were accentuated very nicely by his fitting shirt, and found his face (which to my annoyance was not red at all, but his normal tan).

"What's it like," I asked, ignoring the prickle of my cheeks that meant I was turning pink, "never doing any work?"

His head cocked to the side as he watched me. "I do work."

"Well...I mean, you have homework tonight, no doubt?" I asked, clenching my hands together painfully in my lap.

What was I getting myself into? There was no way that this could turn out well.

He nodded, gingerly sitting back down next to me on the couch.

"Then how come you're not worried about completing it? How come instead you sit here and think up ways to annoy me?"

He clicked his tongue, holding up a finger. "They're not ways to annoy you, Evans," (I internally winced as he once again used my surname. I'd have to find a way to break this habit). "They're ways to charm you. Admit it, you're charmed."

I rolled my eyes at his smug expression. "I am most definitely not, charmed," I said, sneering the word with distaste.

He shrugged, my miniscule rejection rolling off of him easily. "Okay then, why are you having a normal conversation with me? When I tell Sirius, he'll think I've gone mad."

"I asked you something first," I said, rubbing my ankles together nervously, not wanting to admit that I had no earthly idea how to answer his question. "I'm being serious, James." I said his first name again on purpose, trying to make it clear I wanted no more animosity tonight.

His face was surprised for a split-second and then he ran his fingers through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck. "You are serious, aren't you?" he asked, closing his eyes. "These types of conversations never turn out well for the blokes."

"Sure they do," I said airily, delighted that he finally seemed to be considering an answer to my question. I quickly masked over my happiness with half-heartedness…or at least I tried to. I was very grateful that James was busy thinking and not paying attention to me.

"Er..." he began, furrowing his brow, "I guess the actual wand work I can do, that comes pretty naturally...but when it comes to the essays and bookwork, I get bored. I can't concentrate, I...I wasn't lying when I said I'd drank your love potion. Well, I was," he clarified, "just not about the whole idea."

"What do you mean?" I asked, my throat tightening when he turned his head to unleash his full gaze upon me.

"I told you Lily, you're always in my head."

"Me?" I squeaked, blushing darker than before.

He nodded, sighing. "I tried to do that ruddy Potions essay earlier, I really did, but you kept popping into my mind. Sirius asked me if I had been confunded; he said I kept staring off in space with this goofy little grin on my face. After that I just gave in. That happens a lot...so Sirius and me, we thought up a creative way to charm-er...annoy you."

I swallowed deeply, surprised. I had done this to James Potter. I had made him so distracted; his best friend thought he was confunded. "How do you pass?" I asked, trying to ignore the haze taking over my brain as he continued to study me. Talking with him was so much better than fighting with him.

"Remus takes pity on me," he said simply. "Enough about me though...why are you asking me this?"

Why was I asking him about this? I couldn't give him the truth; I had only wanted to talk and had the random question pop into my head at the perfect time to strike up conversation...even though James had just shamelessly gave me the facts; I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"What does it feel like?" I whispered without thinking. His eyes widened and I winced.

Note to self: always think before you speak, especially in matters where James Potter is concerned.

"What does what feel like?" he asked, turning slightly towards me.

Chills raced up my leg as his knee lightly touched mine. I cleared my throat. I was such a wart. Why had I even mentioned this?

"What does...getting 'slipped love potion by me' feel like?" I asked, unclamping my hands to scratch my nose nervously.

James' slight frown turned slowly into his signature grin. His arm came up to grasp the handle on my pack and he slid it off the couch, setting it onto the floor. Then, moving slower than I'd ever known James to move in his life he inched forward until his lips were near my ear, and our thighs were pressed together. "It's the greatest feeling in the world, Lily."

I shivered.

I had two options. I could jump up and run away to my room to think, and probably over-analyze everything that had gone down tonight, or I could stay here and ask him. I could ask him the most embarrassing question I'd ever had to, or ever would.

This was all so confusing, I wasn't making any sense. I was so sick of pretending he didn't affect me. I inhaled sharply, my breath hitching in my throat as he watched me intently. The haze cleared in my brain and I exhaled loudly.

He opened his mouth to begin speaking again, but I cut him off, my voice shaking as I said, "James?"

He smiled; not a pompous, James Potter smile, but a sweet...almost genuine smile. I'm ashamed to admit that had I not been sitting down, my knees most certainly would have knocked together. I opened my mouth, determined to ask, knowing that I was doing the right thing and it didn't matter if I was embarrassed…but I couldn't make any sound come out. He seemed to understand though as I looked at him with pleading eyes.

"What is it?" he asked, looking at me in concern.

"I think I want some of your love potion."

a/n: so...what'd you think?