A/N: Hi everyone, this is my first fanfiction ever, so please, be kind. I wanted to start small with the first chapter and work up to more. Constructive criticism is welcome.

Also, I don't own Kingdom Hearts. That's depressing...

Chapter One: The Blog

I have seen the sea when it is stormy and wild; when it is quiet and serene; when it is dark and moody. And in all its moods, I see myself.

_That moment when you break open a fortune cookie, excited to see what fate the fortune cookie companies have in store for you. You're hoping for something along the lines of happiness, money, and love. Instead you get a black, bold letters on a white little paper telling you, "That wasn't chicken." You stare at your empty plate before you; you licked it clean. Then your insides melt as realization dawns on you. I'm fucked. That moment? That moment is my life summed up into a single shitty evening meal._

A gorgeous girl with fiery auburn hair sat alone in dark house, squinting at a brightly lit laptop computer. She was slender girl, with a curvy but athletic build. She had eyes like the deepest shade of amethyst crystal with a light complexion to match. She had soft strawberry lips that were constantly stuck in a frown. She hit "save" on the web page she was on and paused.

Kairi's blog entries were always the same. Short, and to the point. Just like her. She wrote them daily. She thought it would help her better understand how she was feeling, and gave her the small hope that maybe someday, someone else might understand. She would tell the whole wide world consisting of eight subscribers all about her pathetic existence on the islands that everyone found to be so breathtaking and beautiful. She was stuck inside her head now, sitting idly at her computer wondering when that instant message would come and pop up on her screen. She knew she wouldn't have to wait long. It's always the same, after every blog post. She was listening to her favorite song "Simple & Clean" by Utada Hikaru. She was listening to it through her headphones, which were plugged in to her cell phone, which she lived off, despite having few friends and practically no family to talk to. But hey, modern phones could just do so much more than call and text.

Kairi's best friend, Selphie, didn't really enjoy her blogs. Selphie was outgoing girl, who had a very big family and active family life. She was slightly taller and Kairi, had a pretty pale peach complexion and honey brown shoulder length hair that flipped up on the sides. Her eyes were a sparkling emerald green, and she was partial to the color orange, and so she wore it every opportunity she could. She was bubbling with information on the latest books that were selling out of the teen fiction section of bookstores (Kairi preferred REAL literature) and knew all the latest gossip about celebrities including her favorite singer, Yuna.

Selphie called Kairi a pessimist constantly. She'd be lucky if a day went by when she didn't have Selphie at her side telling her how depressing and bleak her outlook on life was, and that she should definitely try to be more…positive.

-Instant message-

[gardengurl] Hey gurl. Stop bein' so depressing all the time! I just read your blog.

[destinysembrace] Sometimes, I'm not sure why you still do.

[gardengurl] It's because I care. Why else?

[destinysembrace] I'm fine. Just writing my usual. I'm kinda tired. We'll talk later, alright?

[gardengurl] Just try and think positive for once. You'll stay single and alone if you keep this up. Tidus and Wakka are worried about you too, you know. We all care. You're just selfish and try to go through your whole life alone. I'm getting sick of you being so negative about everything and everyone. I swear you don't have to be in bitch mode 24/7. Geez. I'll call you later.

[destinysembrace] Selphie.

User: gardengurl has logged off.

Kairi knew she'd done it this time. She let out a deep breath and leaned back in her uncomfortable wooden chair. Her back ached. That's what she gets for writing at her dining room table. There rest of her house was dark and empty. The neighborhood she lived in was a rowdy one. People had kick backs, and parties (oh how she hated them) all the time. If the walls weren't vibrating from the neighbor's bass next door, she could at least hear their annoying music. Living with her grandmother was over all a pretty mellow thing though. It was only that way because her grandmother was never around though. The cozy, two story condo they lived in was located just outside the shopping district of Traverse Town. She hated the bustling, fast-paced city living more than anything. Her senior graduation from Traverse Town High School was only a week and a half away, so it was all Kairi could think about. She didn't get a 4.3 grade average so she could be stuck here, with all the people she hated. She would be going to the University of Destiny Islands, located on the main island of a chain called Destiny Islands. With the thought of the island's sparkling blue waters, white sand, and sunny days fresh in her mind she rose slowly from her spot at the table. As she slowly ascended the stairs toward her bedroom, she keep gaze fixed straight ahead. She couldn't bear looking at the family photos placed neatly along the walls. She felt a pang of bitterness and could swear that she felt the beginnings of an ulcer burning in her stomach. The photos didn't appear vibrant and colorful to her, they had long ago faded to dull sepia. She hated pictures, and those pictures most of all. She avoided yearbook pictures, and never appeared in any club pictures from school either. Always absent on school picture days, she was known for being mysterious and very anti-social.

With a sigh she entered her bedroom. She picked up the box of matches that lay on her bedside table and little the candles placed around her room, one by one. She took a deep breath, counted to ten, then let it out. She was in her sanctuary now. She felt truly safe here. Paintings adorned the sage green walls of her room. She had a vanity with a mirror, a dresser, queen sized bed, and her nightstand. All were made of a pale oak. The pictures on the walls were that of Claude Monet, Edgar Degas, and one of the famous Paganini- a virtuoso whose form was cast in shadows to portray him as a demon violist. Kairi had always thought herself to be an intellectual, and she felt she had great taste in art. The clothes that hung inside her walk-in closet were all organized by color, and her shoes as well. She wasn't about to mess around when it came to picking outfits for the day. She wanted to look sharp, even if it was for no one in particular. After all, everything she did was strictly for herself. That's just the way it always was.

Kairi laid back on her bed and closed her eyes. She instinctively began to rub her temples in a circular motion. She could feel a headache coming on. Her shoulders felt tense. She was a wreck today, and she was very much aware of it. The glittering beaches that occupied Kairi's mind became eroded as her mind drifted back to the miserable topic of her friends and her non-existent social life.

-Selphie is one of the only friends I have left. Why can't I just play nice with everyone and have good days?- She thought. An all too familiar feeling came over her at that moment and she could feel a lump in her throat. She felt empty, alone, and overall just so unsatisfied with her life. Picking up her cell phone, she checked the time. 10:13pm.

- Grandma's probably having loads of fun right now in Radiant Garden . Figures…not that she'd care even if she WAS here. I don't know why I even bother thinking of her at all-

Kairi's grandma was an active woman of 74 years old. She traveled to different worlds and never so much as sent Kairi postcards. She gave Kairi a card loaded with munny so that she could support herself, but that was all. It wasn't that she didn't care for Kairi, it was just that she had things in life that she wanted to do. She was always very outgoing and sociable with friends, but didn't pay much mind to Kairi's existence. As she fought her way towards the top of her graduating class, her grandmother paid little mind to her academic achievements. She didn't have to help Kairi pay for schooling in Destiny Islands- her parents left her a trust fund in addition to her scholarship she worked so hard to get. Once Kairi left for college, her grandmother wouldn't have to give her another thought. Thinking about her detachment from the world and her grandmother always made her sad.

She rolled onto her stomach. She knew she should change out of her clothes and wash up before bed but she was exhausted. Just as she began to drift off to sleep, her cell phone rang. Her ringtone was Utada Hikaru's "Blue". Ultra Blue was one of Kairi's very favorite albums. She felt it closely matched her feelings and so she found herself listening to it daily just to get by emotionally. It was therapeudic to her.

She answered on the third ring with a lazy "H..hello?"

"Kai. We need to talk." It was Selphie, of course, calling her just as she'd promised through her IM. Her voice sounded stern, and somewhat strained.

Kairi sighed. "Sel, I'm sorry about my blogs, you're right they're just- " Selphie cut her off before she could finish.

"Kairi, I think you seriously need to become a little more introspective and give yourself some quality alone time to sort out all your shit. You're all over the place. I mean, you're my friend and all but you're bringin' me down and I don't want to carry that extra weight. I guess...I guess I just wanted to say that I think our friendship should be put on hold until you grow some balls and resolve your deep seated emotion issues...you know."

"Selphie, I..."

"Please, just get yourself in a better place- I mean, state of mind. Graduation is almost a week away and I won't be able to enjoy it with you being just a crabby patty about everything. Peace out Kai-Kai." The line went dead.

The girl with the fiery auburn hair and amethyst eyes gently set her phone down on her vanity.

-That was a one sided converstation if you ask me...She's got it all wrong...I don't...need more time to myself. I'm already so...alone.-

The moon's light spilled through her window making her tears sparkle like diamonds as they fled from her eyes, each drop hitting her lap until she turned and buried her face in her pillow. This night, like most others, was going to be a long one, seeped in sorrow.